CHENEY BARS G.A.O. INSPECTORS FROM VICE PRESIDENTIAL PALACES
They Will Find Nothing Here, Declares Defiant Veep
Vice President Dick Cheney thumbed his nose today at inspectors from the General Accounting Office who had hoped to gain access to his Vice Presidential Palaces, where documents related to the Bush administrations energy task force are believed to be hidden.
Calling their demand to inspect his palaces a gross indignity, Mr. Cheney insisted nonetheless that even if they searched his many residences they would find no incriminating energy task force documents.
Mr. Cheney went on to accuse the G.A.O. of being spies, taunting them in a fist-pounding address to the nation.
Let the G.A.O. and their spies search every square inch of the Vice Presidential Palaces, a defiant Cheney bellowed. They will find nothing here.
But even if Mr. Cheney agreed to let the G.A.O. inspectors search his Vice Presidential Palaces, finding what they are looking for may be easier said than done, experts say.
The Palaces, often referred to in official White House communications as Mr. Cheneys secure undisclosed location, are believed to be as many as one hundred in number and reportedly cover an area equal to forty-seven football fields.
Resplendent in marble and gold, Mr. Cheneys Vice Presidential Palaces are ostensibly his official residences, used by the Vice President to entertain his many friends in the petroleum industry in an atmosphere of unrestrained opulence.
Despite claims by the G.A.O. that they wish to search the Palaces only to find energy task force documents, Mr. Cheneys aides say that the G.A.O. demands are a Trojan horse.
They dont want Cheneys documents, one aide said. Theyre after his oil.
**** THE BOROWITZ REPORT NOMINATED FOR 2 DOT-COMEDY AWARDS ****
The Borowitz Report has been nominated for two 2002 Dot-Comedy Awards: Best Overall Humor and Best Satirical News. You can cast your vote in BOTH categories at:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bldotcomedy2002.htm
(Scroll down the voting page to find the Best Satirical News category.)
They Will Find Nothing Here, Declares Defiant Veep
Vice President Dick Cheney thumbed his nose today at inspectors from the General Accounting Office who had hoped to gain access to his Vice Presidential Palaces, where documents related to the Bush administrations energy task force are believed to be hidden.
Calling their demand to inspect his palaces a gross indignity, Mr. Cheney insisted nonetheless that even if they searched his many residences they would find no incriminating energy task force documents.
Mr. Cheney went on to accuse the G.A.O. of being spies, taunting them in a fist-pounding address to the nation.
Let the G.A.O. and their spies search every square inch of the Vice Presidential Palaces, a defiant Cheney bellowed. They will find nothing here.
But even if Mr. Cheney agreed to let the G.A.O. inspectors search his Vice Presidential Palaces, finding what they are looking for may be easier said than done, experts say.
The Palaces, often referred to in official White House communications as Mr. Cheneys secure undisclosed location, are believed to be as many as one hundred in number and reportedly cover an area equal to forty-seven football fields.
Resplendent in marble and gold, Mr. Cheneys Vice Presidential Palaces are ostensibly his official residences, used by the Vice President to entertain his many friends in the petroleum industry in an atmosphere of unrestrained opulence.
Despite claims by the G.A.O. that they wish to search the Palaces only to find energy task force documents, Mr. Cheneys aides say that the G.A.O. demands are a Trojan horse.
They dont want Cheneys documents, one aide said. Theyre after his oil.
**** THE BOROWITZ REPORT NOMINATED FOR 2 DOT-COMEDY AWARDS ****
The Borowitz Report has been nominated for two 2002 Dot-Comedy Awards: Best Overall Humor and Best Satirical News. You can cast your vote in BOTH categories at:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bldotcomedy2002.htm
(Scroll down the voting page to find the Best Satirical News category.)
