Changes.

[STOPxmickeytime]

So, I'm Mickey. And I randomly end up not going on here for long periods of time, yadda yadda. Mostly when I get on the computer now, it's for some brief facebooking and then crazy craploads of homework, and I generally just fall out of the habit of going on the boards due to lack of time. Or more time management, really.

Anyway, now that the intro's aside, I thought that I'd share what my friends and I were discussing today. We were talking about how we've personally grown over the past years. Honestly, my transition from sixteen-year-old sophomore to seventeen-year-old junior has been one of the biggest changes that I can remember.

Of course, there are the obvious differences that come with being 17. More emphasis on college searching and more intensive coursework at school (AP Stats should crawl in a hole and suffer a terribly painful death), and the fact that I finally got my license, which provides SO much more freedom. But aside from that, I've truly matured so much.

I was reflecting, and I realized that last year, all I really did was sit around my room and whine about everything that was wrong in my life and write songs about how much everything sucked. I mean, yeah, I hung out with friends, but it was more out of the fact that I knew that I should than the fact that I wanted to. And my self esteem was pretty much non-existent. Basically my thoughts revolved around, "Poor pitiful me, no one understands who I truly am, I'll never live up to my potential, whine whine whine complaints complaints complaints."

I'm not sure when the transformation really happened, but it seems like I've made a 180. I'm so optimistic and sure of who I am now. And I have friends now who I genuinely enjoy spending time with, and who I want to be around because of how good they make me feel. And only now seeing how great my life is at the moment can I fully realize how terrible my life was last year. It didn't seem so horrific at the time, but I was really missing out on so many great things just because of my negative outlook that came with a lack of maturity.

Anyway, what I was basically just mulling over is how much we, as human beings, change. Of course the fundamentals stay the same, but ten years from now, you'll be a totally different person. It's just so crazy to think about.

How do you think you guys have changed over the past year?
And if you haven't, what do you plan to change about yourself?

p.s. Sorry for the randomness. This was one of those late-night-can't-sleep sorta threads. :]

 

[CastawayJ]

i can't sleep either

and I'm randomly scheduled too

so I know how hard it is

 

[imabrat]

Hey girl! I was wondering what happened to you. Don't worry, I can't sleep either.

Off-topic aside, I have changed SO MUCH in the past year.
Having cancer really puts things in perspective for you, it shows you how short life truly is.

Some ways I've changed:
I don't take things for granted. Honestly, I'm just happy I'm alive. Any day above ground is a good day.
I know what I want to do with my life. I've always wanted to help kids, but being around sick kids and being a sick kid myself makes me want to help them. One of my nurses was my outlet in the hospital because she had the same exact thing 8 years prior. She helped me so much during what was my lowest point in my life. If I can do that for someone else, I feel like I'd have done my purpose in life.
I'm more mature. This whole last year I was surrounded by adults 99% of the time. I talked to them and connected to them. Sad as it is, I still connect to them better than most of my peers.
I know my limits. I know when I can do something and when I can't do something. I push myself, but I don't push myself to the point where I'm hanging by a thread.
People trust me easier. Many of my friends do drugs, so my mom is very weary of my hanging out with them. I tell my mom that I use good judgement, and I've been high before (medically induced albeit) and I don't wanna go back. Besides, my lungs are too important to me to go out and smoke things.
I'm stronger. I beat cancer, and now I can do anything. It actually intimidates a lot of people, especially the boys.

That said, I'm still your talks-to-much, worries about school, whose hair never goes the way I want it to, boy crazy teenage girl.

 

[CastawayJ]

oops, didn't fully read that XD

hmm...

I've found my place in the town I live in
I am trying so hard to fit in at school
I have time for yall again

and I am helping people a lot which makes me feel like I actuly have done something

 

[Zip-A-Dee-Lady]

It's funny, I thought I had matured so much when I was around 16-17, but now that I'm nineteen, I really see how much confidence and maturity I've gained since then.

I'm really trying to find my mission in life. I used to think I knew what I wanted to do with my life, but now I'm not so sure. I really want to be good at something; I'm mediocre at a lot, but I really want to be good. I want to live my dream, whatever that may be.

I'm happy with my life, probably more content with it than I've ever been, now that I've started taking time each day for personal reflection. Spending time with friends is great, but I often revel in the opportunity to just be alone sometimes.

I enjoy myself each day, just hoping that everything will fall into place.

 

[Captain Brain]

MICKEY! It's great to see you again.

I completely know what you mean by changes as well. Ever since I've started my sophomore year, this year, I've felt like I'm a new person. I actually want to talk to my friends again, I have more friends than ever before, and my grades have actually improved. It's pretty awesome.

If you ever get time, don't feel like a stranger. I always enjoy your posts.

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

I was actually having a breakdown over this last night.
This past school year has affected me so much.
I've been diagnosed with two health problems. One minor, one I consider major. I didn't want to accept either. I realized that, wether I want to or not, I'm gonna have to grow up.

 

[Babyjustrun]

My changes were quite similar to yours Mickey.
I stopped moping and started making friends, and making plans and doing stuff I enjoyed. I'm still whiney, but I spend much less time at home being whiney. I have friends I love to hang out with, a boyfriend I spend a lot of time with and a job that helps take over any other free time.
I'm happier than I've been in a long time, surrounded by people who make me happy.
I can note my change, because my friend who I've known for years is still like I used to be. She enjyos spending time at home alone, staying up all hours of the night whining to people she doesn't know, and sometimes lies about stuff so she doesn't have to hang out when she doens't feel like it. She embraces being a loner.. and it makes me sad. It makes me angry.
I'm so glad I'm not entirely like that anymore.

 

[PurpleDucky]

I'm not really sure how I've changed. I concentrate on school a lot more than I did before. Simply because junior year is the most difficult. Obvious changes were understanding things more. By that, I mean, I know a lot more than I used to involving important things in life; i.e. politics, world problems, and just life in general.

 

[BabyPiglet]

I think everyone goes through that period from like 14-16 where they think they have the worst life in the world. It's all 'woe is me' and thinking about how hard you have everything. I know I definitely went through that.

It's funny because I look back at myself a year (or most importantly, two) ago and all I see is some whiny, overly-dramatic child. I never made the best of things, I never tried to better myself, and I kind of wallowed in my own self pity. I'm definitely different.

2 years ago is when I switched to home schooling (aka DISing all day & avoiding my textbooks) and while that may not have helped me socially back then, it's definitely helped in the long run. I see the good in people, I'm developing my confidence, I see myself as just as good as other people (self worth), I'm much more responsible. 2 years ago in public school, I'll be honest, I skipped class a LOT, for no good reason. But now, I can't even imagine missing that many days of school/work.

I have a job that I, mostly, enjoy. I get along great with almost everyone, and have met some of my, now, best friends this way.

I've gotten over my fear of driving. I love driving now, it's just like any ol' thing. Planning to get a car soon.

I'm in college. I prefer not to mention that I'm 16 and in college to most people. Because I'm honestly, not. that. smart. I'm loving college so much. The people are down to earth, the teachers have (mostly, lol) fascinating lectures, the atmosphere is much more relaxed. Which makes me relaxed.

(Sorry about that, lol. I had to go somewhere and I didn't want to type all this out again.)

Anyway, my point is, I've really grown up. Sure, sometimes I'm still dramatic and bratty, but I think everyone is occaisonally. Contrary to popular belief, people do change.

 

[minniemouse440044]

i have changed a little.
like im still the spaz always happy, video-gaming, all smiles rachel ill always be. but i have learned that its not all about me. ive stop saying to myself,"wow your so fat and ugly, no guy is ever going to wanna be with you." that has BOOSTED my self esteem up there! i acctually believe in my self now. i mean i will always have times where ill say eww i look weird or something, but its not going to be like it was in 8th grade. and it has made me feel about TEN times better about myself.

plus my friends have noticed it, they alwyas tell me rachel i love how you go through life not caring about how you look or what you do in public. you like being you and not caring about people talking about you, it makes me happy that i have that impact on people. plus if people who think there better than everyone else and say they only notice themselves and people within there "group" and they talk about you, just tink about it there paying attention to you enough to say bad things about you.

i know ive had a rough 3 years and ive pushed through that. i acctually think those times made me stronger in beiliving myself. sure i was bullied and picked on and had little friends. but look what that has turned me into, a girl who has a lot mroe friends than i did then and my self esteem is higher. so maybe i should thank thsoe 6 girls who made my life hell for giving me what i have now.

 

[XxCuriosityxX<3]

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