Cell Phones at What age?

[WantToGoNow]

Mine have both had them since their 8th birthdays. Ds12 got his for my convenience. Dd9 got hers for safety purposes. We have no home phone and they are alone after school and on school breaks.

 

[DawnM]

My 15 (16 in 3 months) year old is just now saying he would like a smartphone.

He has a flip phone. He isn't always with me, so I need to have a way to communicate with him if necessary.

My 13 year old has a flip phone and doesn't want a smartphone.

9 year old wants a smartphone! Not to actually communicate with anyone mind you, just to have something to play. He had an ipod touch but sold it because he never used it..... He has a tablet.

Dawn

 

[kiramay]

Mine have asked for phones, but our rule is 10 years old for the cheapest flip phone possible. No Internet, Data. They have to pay for their own fancy phones and data plans when they're older and have jobs.

 

[Happyjen27]

12.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Got my oldest one a phone for Christmas during 6th grade. Middle school for us starts at 7th. Also got her an Iphone 4S because that's exactly what DW and I have and we assumed (correctly, as it turns out) that DD would end up showing us how to use more of the features on our phones

 

[jlstwinmommy]

2. NOBODY is getting a better phone, ipod, ipad, etc that I have, and if I don't have one, they are not getting one until I have mine first. Heeheehee.

This. My oldest got a phone for Christmas when he was in 8th grade. He wanted an ipod touch and I found they were the same price as a new iphone, so I got a new iphone for me and gave him my 3G. He had the option to pay the $25/month to use it as a phone and have the min. data or to just leave it the way it was and use it as an ipod touch. He chose to pay the phone bill. Last year, I broke my iphone 4S screen and bought a 5. DH was able to fix my screen so my son got upgraded to the 4S while I still have the 5. He is now in 10th grade, uses the texting feature regularly and uses data sparingly - mostly to check assignments posted online.

My twins (just turned 10 and in 4th grade) have started asking for phones. I tell them the same thing I told my oldest at this age - talk to me when you are in 8th grade.

 

[drinkme]

My youngest kids got their first cell phones at 9.

They are 13 & 14 now & the both have iPhones. Dd14 is allowed to use her cell in school, between classes up until the bell rings for each period. The jr high kids still have to keep their cells turned off during school.

The high school sends lots of info to the parents & students via texting. Also my ds' soccer club sends practice & game info via texting.

I know texting is still popular with us "older" people but the kids use Snapchat now. You need a data plan for that.

 

[Andreasmith]

My oldest is 10 and she got hers at 8
My second oldest is 7 and he just got one (I don't think he's ready, but it was a gift from his uncle)

 

[piperdown]

DD was 10, almost 11 when she got her first phone. Smart phone when she was 14, but she saved up the money to buy the phone and she pays me back monthly for the data plan.

I will also say that it bugs me that some have said that their kid could just use another person's phone if needed. We have a rule that no one outside our family is allowed to use DD's phone. Emergencies are one thing, but putting your kid in a situation where there is a likely need to contact you and expecting them to be able to use other peoples' phones....not okay in my book.

 

[amym2]

DD was 10, almost 11 when she got her first phone. Smart phone when she was 14, but she saved up the money to buy the phone and she pays me back monthly for the data plan.

I will also say that it bugs me that some have said that their kid could just use another person's phone if needed. We have a rule that no one outside our family is allowed to use DD's phone. Emergencies are one thing, but putting your kid in a situation where there is a likely need to contact you and expecting them to be able to use other peoples' phones....not okay in my book.

So every 9 year old who attends an after school activity, sports practice, etc needs to have their own phone? Sorry, but I was one of those people and I can guarantee that at any event my DD9 goes to, there is an adult who would let her use their phone to call me. I'd be happy to let my kids' friends use my phone to call their parents in any situation. I can understand that you don't want your DD's friends using her phone, but I would think that until kids reach the age that they don't need to be supervised by an adult, that wouldn't be necessary anyway.

 

[SEA333]

So every 9 year old who attends an after school activity, sports practice, etc needs to have their own phone? Sorry, but I was one of those people and I can guarantee that at any event my DD9 goes to, there is an adult who would let her use their phone to call me. I'd be happy to let my kids' friends use my phone to call their parents in any situation. I can understand that you don't want your DD's friends using her phone, but I would think that until kids reach the age that they don't need to be supervised by an adult, that wouldn't be necessary anyway.

I agree! My three kids are in sports and activities All Year Long, and even at 13 and in 8th grade, there has not been one time EVER where the adult in charge of the event/sport/activity has left my child high and dry in an emergency - or at all, for that matter. That is way to much liability. I remember back in the day when I was in sports and activities, the teachers and adults would all just leave and if my parent was late, I sat there by myself. And that was WAYYYY before cell phones and I lived to tell the tale.

And, further, my kids' major sport is football and cheerleading. NO football player or cheerleader brings their cell phone to practice. There isn't anywhere to put it! Obviously they cannot put it in their pocket, and no parent in their right mind would think that it is OK for a 1st-8th grader to set their phone down on the side of the field during practice. Anytime there is lightning or anything that cancels practice halfway through, the coaches bring out their cell phones and pass them around to the kids while they are waiting in the field house during the storm. PLUS, common sense would tell a parent not to go far when there is the possibility of bad weather when your kid is practicing on an open field with no shelter!

So, the "my 7 year old needs a phone so they can reach me at all times" has always stumped me, but honestly after that? I don't really care what other parents do....if they want to spend hundreds of $$ a year on cell phones and cell bills, who am I to try to stop them??!!

 

[lovemygrowingfamily]

I got my kids a flip phone for our Disney trip in August 2012 so if they wanted to go on a ride they could call us when they got off or to go get something to drink at the resort they could still call us they were 12 and 10. The phone goes with either child to their sports practices then it goes back into my drawer until the next practice or game. Still at 11 and 13 they share the phone and only when necessary. They don't know their number and only have ours and grandparents in their phone. They are responsible its just that they don't need to have a phone attached to them all the time. We have a landline so at home there is a phone at their access at all times.

When my kids are 16 and have a job then they can get their own phone and pay for the services they want under my plan and even then they won't have privacy on it until they are 18 and out of my house.

 

[luvmy3]

So every 9 year old who attends an after school activity, sports practice, etc needs to have their own phone? Sorry, but I was one of those people and I can guarantee that at any event my DD9 goes to, there is an adult who would let her use their phone to call me. I'd be happy to let my kids' friends use my phone to call their parents in any situation. I can understand that you don't want your DD's friends using her phone, but I would think that until kids reach the age that they don't need to be supervised by an adult, that wouldn't be necessary anyway.

The pp didn't say that, and she mentioned that emergencies are a different situation. All she said was that it bothered her that some parents just assume its okay for their child to use someone elses phone, and FTR I totally agree with her. My kids are on pre-paid plans where minutes and texts are limited. I wouldn't be happy if so and so using those minutes up because their parent was either too cheap or just didn't want them to have a phone yet.
(And like the pp said, an emergency is totally different. Please don't tell your kid to just use my kids' phone when there isn't one).

And for the pp who mentioned that they don't understand when parents say they want their kid to be able to reach them at all times, you should feel lucky that your kid was never in a situation where they needed to, or felt they needed too. My dd got her first phone because the "adults" in charge at her camp screwed up when trying to reach me because she got hurt. They wouldn't let her dial the number and they called my MIL's number. The problem was that my dd didn't know it and left a message for "mom" to please come get her. My MIL had no idea it was my dd and thought someone had mis-dialed their home number. It wasn't until she was telling us about a poor little kid who left a message to be picked up that we all realized it was my dd.
Or like the time when she was on the bus and a boy was kicking her and threatening her to not tell the bus driver, she called me to meet her there when she got off the bus because he got off at the same stop and she was afraid. Sure she could have told the bus driver, but a scared 9 year old doesn't always think rationally. Situations like those made me realize that I don't always want to rely on a middle man when communicating with my child.
Anyway I got off on a tangent there, and while I do not think a parent needs to justify their choices to anyone, I just wanted to give you a little perspective on something you are stumped by.

 

[mm1971]

My soon to be 11 year old has been asking for one for two years. I would say about half her class has one and I've always thought No way. But once she turns 11 she can take her babysitters course and she also has more freedom. I am admittedly an over protective parent but also realize kids need a little freedom to grow so am considering giving her one so I can not only keep tabs on her but know if she needs something she can just call. What are you views ?

We let our DS have a phone when he was 11. Basically the decision was made based on need, not want or because friends have them He had sports practices, after school activities and was starting to be at friends houses a lot. We wanted him to be able to call us if/when needed. DD is now 11 and we have held off because she doesn't NEED one yet. Once we feel she needs it we will get her one as well.

We do restrict the game playing and such when he is home.

I would say that if you feel it is needed and it makes it easier to keep in touch when she is away, it is probably time.

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree! My three kids are in sports and activities All Year Long, and even at 13 and in 8th grade, there has not been one time EVER where the adult in charge of the event/sport/activity has left my child high and dry in an emergency - or at all, for that matter. That is way to much liability. I remember back in the day when I was in sports and activities, the teachers and adults would all just leave and if my parent was late, I sat there by myself. And that was WAYYYY before cell phones and I lived to tell the tale.

And, further, my kids' major sport is football and cheerleading. NO football player or cheerleader brings their cell phone to practice. There isn't anywhere to put it! Obviously they cannot put it in their pocket, and no parent in their right mind would think that it is OK for a 1st-8th grader to set their phone down on the side of the field during practice. Anytime there is lightning or anything that cancels practice halfway through, the coaches bring out their cell phones and pass them around to the kids while they are waiting in the field house during the storm. PLUS, common sense would tell a parent not to go far when there is the possibility of bad weather when your kid is practicing on an open field with no shelter!

So, the "my 7 year old needs a phone so they can reach me at all times" has always stumped me, but honestly after that? I don't really care what other parents do....if they want to spend hundreds of $$ a year on cell phones and cell bills, who am I to try to stop them??!!

Dd12 calls me after school to let me know if she is going somewhere (actually to ask). Both of my older kids did the same in middle school (about a mile away - they walk). My 2 oldest were/are very involved in theater. Sometimes they were a few kids among adults, who were not babysitters, and sometimes there were over 50 kids, rehearsal end times were never accurate, and they were allowed on the main drag to go get something to eat.

My girls' dance studio doesn't have an office. They spend at least 10 hours there a week, and the teachers are there to teach, not to call home. Once dd12 was very sick, but the teacher didn't realize it. She didn't want to bother the teacher, and didn't have a phone. She got one when she was 9. Ds10 and another boy were sort of left at the bball field. The coach is old, and old school. He went into the office to do some paperwork (after practice ended 45 minutes early), and the boys just sat on a bench for 45 minutes, even though we live 5 minutes away (didn't want to bother the coach). Ds10 also likes to ride bikes with friends, and go up and play at the elementary school when it's closed.

Everyone should do what's best for their family.

 

[fairestoneofall]

because we don't have a land line, we went ahead and got a phone for DD (age 11). she really doesn't call anybody but family and she does not have text or data. it's more just for her to have if she's somewhere without us or if we leave her home for short periods of time.

 

[cjbcam]

This is funny or not so depending how you look at it. My soon to be 11 had a volley ball game after school and when they are on the school team they send a note home saying they end around five. I usually go to watch but my other two daughters had gymnastics and I had to run them there. Long story short gymnastics got cancelled so went to watch her play and all the kids were sitting outside waiting for there parents cause the other team didnt show up! They didn't let them call the parents, I'm so angry! But I guess I answered my own question. She is definitely getting a cell.

 

[SEA333]

Dd12 calls me after school to let me know if she is going somewhere (actually to ask). Both of my older kids did the same in middle school (about a mile away - they walk). My 2 oldest were/are very involved in theater. Sometimes they were a few kids among adults, who were not babysitters, and sometimes there were over 50 kids, rehearsal end times were never accurate, and they were allowed on the main drag to go get something to eat.

My girls' dance studio doesn't have an office. They spend at least 10 hours there a week, and the teachers are there to teach, not to call home. Once dd12 was very sick, but the teacher didn't realize it. She didn't want to bother the teacher, and didn't have a phone. She got one when she was 9. Ds10 and another boy were sort of left at the bball field. The coach is old, and old school. He went into the office to do some paperwork (after practice ended 45 minutes early), and the boys just sat on a bench for 45 minutes, even though we live 5 minutes away (didn't want to bother the coach). Ds10 also likes to ride bikes with friends, and go up and play at the elementary school when it's closed.

Everyone should do what's best for their family.

Teaching a child to speak up for herself is never a bad thing. Since it happened to more than one of you kids, in different situations, the first action item I would work on would be to teach them to stand up for themselves and speak up! The teachers at the dance school ARE there to teach, yes, I agree. But as a teacher, they are are ALSO there, as an inherent part of their job, to make sure the child in their care WHILE they are teaching, is OK. So, I disagree with giving a kid a phone to take the responsibility off the adult in charge.

As for the rest, I agree with you. My rule is that once my kids are old enough to NOT be supervised by an adult 24/7, they get a phone. For my oldest, that was 6th grade (11 1/2 years old).

 

[SEA333]

The pp didn't say that, and she mentioned that emergencies are a different situation. All she said was that it bothered her that some parents just assume its okay for their child to use someone elses phone, and FTR I totally agree with her. My kids are on pre-paid plans where minutes and texts are limited. I wouldn't be happy if so and so using those minutes up because their parent was either too cheap or just didn't want them to have a phone yet.
(And like the pp said, an emergency is totally different. Please don't tell your kid to just use my kids' phone when there isn't one).

And for the pp who mentioned that they don't understand when parents say they want their kid to be able to reach them at all times, you should feel lucky that your kid was never in a situation where they needed to, or felt they needed too. My dd got her first phone because the "adults" in charge at her camp screwed up when trying to reach me because she got hurt. They wouldn't let her dial the number and they called my MIL's number. The problem was that my dd didn't know it and left a message for "mom" to please come get her. My MIL had no idea it was my dd and thought someone had mis-dialed their home number. It wasn't until she was telling us about a poor little kid who left a message to be picked up that we all realized it was my dd.
Or like the time when she was on the bus and a boy was kicking her and threatening her to not tell the bus driver, she called me to meet her there when she got off the bus because he got off at the same stop and she was afraid. Sure she could have told the bus driver, but a scared 9 year old doesn't always think rationally. Situations like those made me realize that I don't always want to rely on a middle man when communicating with my child.Anyway I got off on a tangent there, and while I do not think a parent needs to justify their choices to anyone, I just wanted to give you a little perspective on something you are stumped by.

Yes, I am very lucky. Or, not lucky, really, just smart about where I send my kids. I'm sure you are, too, and that was just a one-off that you learned a lesson from and will research better next time

The problem with helicopter parenting - or aka...not ever wanting to rely on a 3rd party to help your child, is that you are not around your child 24/7. I guess in that case, it makes the parent feel better that there is such great technology out there now so that we never really have to *BE* away! Starting at birth with TV monitors in their bedrooms, youTube access channels at the daycare, to 9 years old on the school bus, on to high school and college....I will not be surprised when colleges start offering in-dorm satellite images of our little cupcakes snoozing away (we hope!) at 1am on a Saturday night - you know...just so that we don't have to rely on a third-party cell phone carrier to get us in touch with them!

Sorry, PP...nothing against you - just working out my perspective....it goes a little off base sometimes.

 

[mjkacmom]

Teaching a child to speak up for herself is never a bad thing. Since it happened to more than one of you kids, in different situations, the first action item I would work on would be to teach them to stand up for themselves and speak up! The teachers at the dance school ARE there to teach, yes, I agree. But as a teacher, they are are ALSO there, as an inherent part of their job, to make sure the child in their care WHILE they are teaching, is OK. So, I disagree with giving a kid a phone to take the responsibility off the adult in charge.

As for the rest, I agree with you. My rule is that once my kids are old enough to NOT be supervised by an adult 24/7, they get a phone. For my oldest, that was 6th grade (11 1/2 years old).

Oh trust me, I told her the next time, she needs to speak up. She is a real people-pleaser, and although I love the dance teachers (been there for 7 years), they are a little - tough. The last time she said she felt sick (a couple days after a stomach virus), they made her go into the tiny bathroom, and wouldn't let her out until I got there 20 minutes later.