Cash is never tacky, is it?

[LisaR]

DD is in London and staying with my nephew and his family. I sent a thank you card from us with her and she was suppose to buy them some gift cards and leave them in the thank you card.

Who knew that gift cards were so hard to come by in London? She has been to a couple places they like and they don't sell them.

I posted on the UK board and a travel site and it seems gift cards really aren't the norm over there.

2 options that I can think of:

DD could leave cash (pounds).

I could buy them a gift card to someplace in the states. They will be visiting in December. However, because they come to visit family, most of their meals are paid for by their parents and grandparents so I am not sure they would have a need for the amount I was going to spend. They may go out to dinner by themselves once while here.

So, is cash tacky?

 

[Janepod]

In the U.S. cash is never tacky. I don't know about London, but I think it would be fine.

 

[Poohforyou]

I know I'd feel weird getting cash from a family member for entertaining their child. Could you daughter got to a store they like and buy them something pretty (have her include the receipt)? I think I'd rather get a thing in a case like this along with a note thanking us for showing your daughter a good time. However, if money is tight for your nephew and having your daughter there was a real stretch than by all means give money.

 

[low-key]

cash

 

[sissy_ib]

I know I'd feel weird getting cash from a family member for entertaining their child. Could you daughter got to a store they like and buy them something pretty (have her include the receipt)? I think I'd rather get a thing in a case like this along with a note thanking us for showing your daughter a good time. However, if money is tight for your nephew and having your daughter there was a real stretch than by all means give money.

I was kinda thinking the same thing. Not tacky but not really appropriate either. Can she use the money to take them to a nice thank you dinner? Or can you take them out when they come to visit?

 

[LisaR]

I know I'd feel weird getting cash from a family member for entertaining their child. Could you daughter got to a store they like and buy them something pretty (have her include the receipt)? I think I'd rather get a thing in a case like this along with a note thanking us for showing your daughter a good time. However, if money is tight for your nephew and having your daughter there was a real stretch than by all means give money.

I really don't want my DD picking something out. I don't like doing that myself and, no offense to my 17 y/o, but her tastes and that of two adults with a toddler are likely very different.

They aren't strapped for cash and it wasn't a hardship for them to have DD there (or I never would have sent her) but I just want to thank them with something. I *thought* a couple gift cards to their favorite restaurants would be perfect but that isn't going to work out. I hate giving cash but I like receiving it!

 

[LisaR]

I was kinda thinking the same thing. Not tacky but not really appropriate either. Can she use the money to take them to a nice thank you dinner? Or can you take them out when they come to visit?

I won't see them when they come in December, unfortunately. They aren't coming to my area.

She cooked dinner for them one night and she babysat for them a couple nights but they haven't been out to dinner together. She only has two more nights there and she will be out late tomorrow. They did lunch together their first day and my nephew insisted on paying.

 

[Poohforyou]

I really don't want my DD picking something out. I don't like doing that myself and, no offense to my 17 y/o, but her tastes and that of two adults with a toddler are likely very different.

They aren't strapped for cash and it wasn't a hardship for them to have DD there (or I never would have sent her) but I just want to thank them with something. I *thought* a couple gift cards to their favorite restaurants would be perfect but that isn't going to work out. I hate giving cash but I like receiving it!

If they have a toddler why doesn't she get something for him/her? She could go to a nice toy store and ask for help. I know I'm always touched when someone does something nice for my child and I think your reciprocating in the same manner would be very sweet. Maybe your daughter could also babysit and treat your nephew and his wife to a dinner out.

 

[aimyourarrowshigh]

In my experience (of living in England all my life and visiting the US about 15 times), gift cards are just as common in England as they are in the US? Maybe try looking online for which stores sell gift cards and then going there? A lot of stores sell gift cards by the check out, so look there. As for cash, I'm not sure if it's just my family or if it's an English thing, but cash from casual friends or acquaintances would seem weird to me, but cash in a card from a family member/close friend is fine.

 

[LisaR]

If they have a toddler why doesn't she get something for him/her? She could go to a nice toy store and ask for help. I know I'm always touched when someone does something nice for my child and I think your reciprocating in the same manner would be very sweet. Maybe your daughter could also babysit and treat your nephew and his wife to a dinner out.

She took presents over for the little guy and she has bought him a few other things. She has babysat a couple times. They haven't gone out to dinner together because the little one goes to bed early.

I wish they were into the theater because we could buy them tickets to that but they aren't.

I don't know. Maybe I should just do a gift card to someplace in the US.

 

[LisaR]

In my experience (of living in England all my life and visiting the US about 15 times), gift cards are just as common in England as they are in the US? Maybe try looking online for which stores sell gift cards and then going there? A lot of stores sell gift cards by the check out, so look there. As for cash, I'm not sure if it's just my family or if it's an English thing, but cash from casual friends or acquaintances would seem weird to me, but cash in a card from a family member/close friend is fine.

I've checked on two message boards now and both claim they are not common in London. DD has been in two restaurants and asked and neither had gift cards. We looked online for a place we knew they liked and they also didn't have them. Maybe we aren't picking the right places?

 

[shortbun]

I would also feel weird if a relative left cash for something like this. Buy their child a nice toy or send them a gift basket.

 

[marlynnp]

I'm in the feel weird group too!

 

[LisaR]

There is a major grocery store right down the street from them. My sister says the get almost everything there (food, diapers, toiletries). Would a gift card from there be just as impersonal and tacky?

 

[Bonnie151]

In my experience, gift cards for restaurants are not so common here, but most stores will sell them. I'd go for a gift card for somewhere like John Lewis, Debenham's or Fraser's or some other similar department store. Or from a store where they buy children's clothes (e.g. Next)? I was going to suggest M&S for their food hall, but these days I like Morrison's (ordinary supermarket) meals better!

 

[cornflake]

I think cash would be way inappropriate in this situation yeah. I'd find the gift card very similar actually. I'd never do a gift card as a hostess gift, too much like cash, it reads tacky to me unless it's very specific - like a gift certificate to a very lush spa or something they'd normally never do for themselves but want.

I also think the thing you're running into is that they're not as popular and that they're in a proper eating area so there are fewer chains. There's like Pizza Express but that's not what you'd do for a gift.

Have her get them a gift. She's 17, old enough to think about what to get them. If she's never got a hostess gift, it's well time to start. Tell her to think about what they have in the house, enjoy, use - do they drink wine? Do they like to cook? Do they complain the baby doesn't get to sleep so well or it's noisy? Do they enjoy a certain programme? Do they garden (they are British)?

A DVD set of some programme they like, to watch when the baby's asleep; very nice crystal wine glasses and a bottle of good wine; a vase, a white noise or nature sounds machine, a selection from the local nursery, a Creuset if they don't have a bunch, etc., etc., etc.

If she's been staying there, it should be easy to think of something they enjoy or could use or some luxury item related to an interest she's seen them pursue or talk about that she could pick up at a nearby shop. Have it boxed nicely, throw a gift receipt in, they'll think her lovely and they can return it if it's not quite what they'd enjoy.

I would NOT do a gift card for here - first, you said they'll be out with relatives a lot, so if you give them a card and they spend it taking the relatives out, it's again like cash and just... second though, you can't be sure what they like, where they'll go, and you don't want to give them an obligation, like 'well, I know you wanted to go for sushi but we have to use that gift card my aunt gave us...'

You can't give them a gift card for a store here, because that too is an obligation - what if they don't like the stuff, and if you're willing to spend, then they may be hit with a customs fee, if it's bulky they may have to ship or put in luggage on their expense... just have her go get a hostess gift. Even if it's just a nice toy for the baby, a big bouquet and a good bottle of wine it's better than nothing or a gift card, imo.

 

[shoney]

I think this is a cute story about how things are different and that many people, including myself, wouldn't know it unless you experienced it.


I would leave the cash, but...

I would have her write out a card thanking them for everything, telling them what a great time and learning experience it has been. I would add something to the effect of "Another important fact I've learned is that gift cards are not available here. I wanted to give you one, but wasn't able. Please use this to treat yourselves to something wonderful!"

 

[NHdisneylover]

She could always buy a gift cert on amazon.uk if she does not find anything else. I agree though that fewer restaurants have them (particularly the ones which are not chains, which is more common) but we saw plenty of gift cards available at stores and movie theaters in London.

I am in the cash would feel weird camp.

 

[Ginny Favers]

Cash is not tacky, usually...

What is tacky is when someone gives you a card with a couple wrinkled dollar bills, a few quarters, dimes, nickels, pretty much anything they had in their pocket left over after they bought the card.

 

[LisaR]

I should have made something very clear in my first post and I didn't. This gift is NOT from my daughter. This gift is a thank you from ME (and DH). The only role DD played was to keep her ears opened to places they liked and pick up the gift card for me while she was out. She is doing her own thank you and her own gifts. When the baby was born, I learned that shipping a present over there was not cost effective so my standard gift is an Amazon gift card. They appreciate it and they understand the cost associated with shipping. I thought it would be nice if DD could pick up a gift card to a restaurant they actually like so it was a bit more personalized but it looks like that won't be happening.

I am completely opposed to gifts for the home. I don't want anyone giving me something I have to display in my home and I wouldn't do that to someone else unless they registered for it.

DD is too young to buy wine.

The good news is my nephew isn't even remotely pretentious. If she ends up leaving cash, I will email him and explain the lack of gift cards and my nephew will not care in the slightest. It is me that has the issue with cash being tacky, not my nephew.

My sister did find two restaurants that have gift cards. The only day my DD can get them will be tomorrow. She is gone most of today on tour. If she can find one or both of these places tomorrow, gift cards it is. If not, I'll either have her leave cash or send an Amazon card.