Cash bar for birthday party

[nugov2]

What do you think of this for a 40th birthday party? Food provided(appetizers ),but drinks are cash bar. The venue is an upscale bar. Is this the norm or tacky?

 

[shoney]

What do you think of this for a 40th birthday party? Food provided(appetizers ),but drinks are cash bar. The venue is an upscale bar. Is this the norm or tacky?

A party for friends and family? NO. I wouldn't have an all out cash bar. I would at least provide beer and wine.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I'm guessing the answers you're going to get will boil down to "it's a regional thing." Personally, I'm not a fan of the idea.

 

[rigs32]

Host what you can afford. If I bring a gift and have to pay for drinks, I'd be annoyed. I'd assume you wanted the prestige of a fancy party without the cost.

I threw a 40th bday party for my SO at home because of that. I provided everything. Some people chose to bring alcohol, but I had plenty without.

 

[cluvsdisney]

If this is an actual invite "come to my birthday party/my SOs birthday" then no, guests should not expect to pay for their drinks. If the hosts wanted to keep costs down they either include limited options or have it someplace they can afford to offer everything they would like available to their guests.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Invite people to a birthday party where they have to pay for their own drinks? No.

Asking guests to pay for drinks defeats the purpose of having it in an 'upscale' venue, in my opinion.

 

[msjprincess]

I need an other option

For me it depends how it was worded. If I was invited to a party I wouldn't expect to pay for drinks. But if someone said "Do you want to get together for so & so's birthday at XXX Bar?". I would expect to pay for my own drinks.


I know that doesn't really make sense, but in my mind it does. LOL

 

[pryncess527]

Host what you can afford. If I bring a gift and have to pay for drinks, I'd be annoyed. I'd assume you wanted the prestige of a fancy party without the cost.

I threw a 40th bday party for my SO at home because of that. I provided everything. Some people chose to bring alcohol, but I had plenty without.

ditto

 

[gwynne]

I'd throw a party I could afford. The "upscale" location is negated by the tacky plan.
Good grief. It's really not that hard to be a reasonably good host. Beer, wine and sodas at an affordable venue is a much better party.

 

[mjkacmom]

Never been to one like that. I admit, I did have beer and wine at my mom's repast, but mixed drinks could be purchased. It was noon on a Monday, and it was an additional $10 or so a head, and I doubted many would be drinking cocktails.

 

[jahber]

I don't have a problem with it, but most of my friends and family members aren't big drinkers--not that we don't drink at all, but it's not make or break for us. Now, I have a friend who was expected to pay for her and her husband and kids' meals at a family member's wedding rehearsal dinner. THAT was tacky.

 

[wilkeliza]

I've been to birthday "parties" that are at bars where alcohol was not free but if I was invited somewhere that appetizers were covered and it was more of an actual party and not just a gathering I would assume drinks were included.

 

[Kogo Shuko]

I've been to weddings where I've had to pay for drinks (after the first one), so I wouldn't be offended if I had to get my own drinks at a birthday bash. If my meal was paid for and it was a GOOD meal, anyway.

 

[Daisy62]

I throw a party I can afford. If I can't afford an open bar in an upscale restaurant then I'd have something at home. We had my husbands 50th in a definitley non upscale, the green turtle. We had 50 guests and it was whatever they wanted to eat and drink.

 

[jrmasm]

No, don't do it!!

 

[Minnesota!]

Around here - not tacky. But, usually a keg or two, and a few bottles of wine are options, with mixed drinks being cash.

 

[kirstenb1]

Agree with everyone else. Maybe champagne, or beer and wine if your budget allows. I don't think you need a full bar, but I think beer/wine is a good compromise.

 

[wilkeliza]

I am amending my initial opinion. If one were to offer wine or beer for free but anything else is cash that is fine. We went to a wedding where wine was complementary but anything else was pay yourself and I thought that was a good compromise. I've been to birthdays that are the same. The house wine is free but anything else you pay.

 

[design_mom]

I don't know -- I'm torn. While I think the host should provide food and drink for a party, I do not necessarily think that the host needs to provide anything anyone could possibly want, and I don't necessarily think that they *must* offer alcohol. For instance, if the party host is hosting a party at a pizzeria and offers pizza/salad/soda , I don't necessarily think someone should expect the host to provide beer or lasagna just because the pizza place also sells those items. (I realize the party in question is at an upscale restaurant, not a pizzeria. I'm not sure if that changes my opinion. It would probably depend on the restaurant. If it was at a trendy microbrewery or something, then I guess I could see guests expecting the house beer or something.)

If the host didn't offer ANYTHING to drink, I think that would be a faux pas. I went to a wedding like that once. Cash bar meant there was NOTHING to drink, not even water, without paying for it.

I was raised that in a hosted situation, you take what is offered and say thank you. I would NOT order something beyond what is offered, even if I didn't really like it. However, maybe indicating that alcohol is on a cash-bar basis is letting guests know that it's not provided, but will be available, and the host won't be offended if guests buy their own.

 

[L&Lfan]

Even though I prefer mixed drinks, I could tie one on pretty good with just free beer and wine. I'd go with that if you can't afford a full bar.