Care Facilities Placement

[WEDWDW]

I'm glad you've reccognized that it's unsustainable for the willing half. caregiving is VERY hard on the caregivers and can take a tremendous physical and psychological toll-doing double duty in the absence of others is dangerous all around. it is far better for your loved one and those who DID step up to go forward with your decision.

best wishes.

Thank you.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

I was reminded last night and today to be sure you have a positive relationship with your primary and the facility doctor. They are needed for therapy authorizations for one and any specialists if home care is an option.

 

[KPeterso]

Sincere sympathy for your loss and thanks for the hugs.

I am in a situation where we have enough folks to be able to keep our LO in their home without any major disruptions to any one person's life,but only about half are willing to pitch in and make it work and there is no way it would be sustainable for the willing half to do it.

So our LO will have to be placed in pretty short order.

My first experience in this arena.

Heartbreaking doesn't begin to cover the emotions.

good luck finding the right place for your loved one. It was a hard decision to place my mom in her board and care. But it was the right one whether she thinks so or not. I could no longer take care of her myself and my Dad is older and can't really help. My best advice is to ask a lot questions about the place when you visit ---- daily routine, food/menu, activities, and even the other residents. The administrators most likely will be asking you questions to feel you out if your loved one will fit in just as much as you are them.

 

[barkley]

one suggestion on the residential home types (they are called 'adult family homes' where we live)-check out the neighborhood a few different times (just drive throughs). go on a weekday after school hours, an evening, a weekend. it's important to remember that residents are not 'held captive' and have the right to come and go unsupervised so you have to decide for yourself if it's an area you feel comfortable with your loved one taking a stroll in. I grew up in a neighborhood with a couple of these homes and residents would walk around often-it was a typical neighborhood so if they wandered off it was pretty easy for staff to locate them, it was relatively safe (though in my later years there I wouldn't wander alone at night). another neighborhood we lived in had a couple but I would not have felt comfortable with a loved one there b/c there were no sidewalks, uneven terrain and forested areas (few people had fences on their properties-including the adult family homes'). beyond the unstable footing issues it would have been easy for someone to become disoriented with their location (and we saw staff wandering across properties searching for residents),

 

[tvguy]

one suggestion on the residential home types (they are called 'adult family homes' where we live)-check out the neighborhood a few different times (just drive throughs). go on a weekday after school hours, an evening, a weekend. it's important to remember that residents are not 'held captive' and have the right to come and go unsupervised so you have to decide for yourself if it's an area you feel comfortable with your loved one taking a stroll in. I grew up in a neighborhood with a couple of these homes and residents would walk around often-it was a typical neighborhood so if they wandered off it was pretty easy for staff to locate them, it was relatively safe (though in my later years there I wouldn't wander alone at night). another neighborhood we lived in had a couple but I would not have felt comfortable with a loved one there b/c there were no sidewalks, uneven terrain and forested areas (few people had fences on their properties-including the adult family homes'). beyond the unstable footing issues it would have been easy for someone to become disoriented with their location (and we saw staff wandering across properties searching for residents),

Interesting. The residential home types here are called Residential Care Facilities for the Elderly and, at least the 4 I looked at ARE lock down facilities by design. They are very similar in design, with outdoor areas for residents, but surrounded by wrought iron fencing and secured gates. To use your description, residents WERE held captive and could not leave without a family member or staff member with them. That kind of is the whole idea. My mom was unusual among the 6 residents in the home I put her in in that she had had a stroke, and could not leave on her own, she could no longer walk. The other 5 were all Alzheimer's or Dementia patients and COULD have had problems if they walked away unescorted even in the best residential area. My mom's home had one very young, like late 60's, man with Alzheimer's who was very technically smart and found ways to disable the monitoring alarms and walked away several times in the week he was there. The RCFE owner finally had to ask his family to put him in another facility with more advanced security to prevent him from leaving.

 

[KPeterso]

Interesting. The residential home types here are called Residential Care Facilities for the Elderly and, at least the 4 I looked at ARE lock down facilities by design. They are very similar in design, with outdoor areas for residents, but surrounded by wrought iron fencing and secured gates. To use your description, residents WERE held captive and could not leave without a family member or staff member with them. That kind of is the whole idea. My mom was unusual among the 6 residents in the home I put her in in that she had had a stroke, and could not leave on her own, she could no longer walk. The other 5 were all Alzheimer's or Dementia patients and COULD have had problems if they walked away unescorted even in the best residential area. My mom's home had one very young, like late 60's, man with Alzheimer's who was very technically smart and found ways to disable the monitoring alarms and walked away several times in the week he was there. The RCFE owner finally had to ask his family to put him in another facility with more advanced security to prevent him from leaving.

My mom's place is the same way. There are alarms on every single door. So when the front door opens, throughout the house, it will announce front door open. Same with other doors - the slider in my mom's room will alert if opened (sometimes it is nice to get some fresh air). There is also only 1 resident at her place that walks on her own. It is slow and she would be caught before she could get any distance away. There is a nice place to sit in the backyard that is fully fenced. And families can always take a resident out if they so choose. When my mother was a bit better last summer into the fall, I frequently walked her around the neighborhood in her wheelchair.

 

[tvguy]

My mom's place is the same way. There are alarms on every single door. So when the front door opens, throughout the house, it will announce front door open. Same with other doors - the slider in my mom's room will alert if opened (sometimes it is nice to get some fresh air). There is also only 1 resident at her place that walks on her own. It is slow and she would be caught before she could get any distance away. There is a nice place to sit in the backyard that is fully fenced. And families can always take a resident out if they so choose. When my mother was a bit better last summer into the fall, I frequently walked her around the neighborhood in her wheelchair.

The security is also to control who gets IN. What has been your experience at your mom's home regarding the other residents and how frequently they have visitors?
My mom went from a week in the hospital, to 6 weeks in a Rehab Center before moving into the RCFE. I saw my mom every day at the first two facilities. In the year mom was at the RCFE I saw her every day except 10 days. 4 when I had a cold, 6 when we went on a vacation. The RCFE was 2 blocks from my house. Staff at all three commented how unusual it was for an 89 year old to have a family member visit so frequently. Most either had family the did not visit frequently, or had no local family. There was a 98 year old who had no living relatives. She had her children when she was 18 and 19 and both had died of old age.

 

[KPeterso]

The security is also to control who gets IN. What has been your experience at your mom's home regarding the other residents and how frequently they have visitors?
My mom went from a week in the hospital, to 6 weeks in a Rehab Center before moving into the RCFE. I saw my mom every day at the first two facilities. In the year mom was at the RCFE I saw her every day except 10 days. 4 when I had a cold, 6 when we went on a vacation. The RCFE was 2 blocks from my house. Staff at all three commented how unusual it was for an 89 year old to have a family member visit so frequently. Most either had family the did not visit frequently, or had no local family. There was a 98 year old who had no living relatives. She had her children when she was 18 and 19 and both had died of old age.

At my mom's place, everyone enters through the front door which is locked at all times (including the screen) and is expected to sign in.

I think my mom's place is unique on visitors as it has some very devoted families. My Dad and I visit my mom almost every day. If we miss a day, there is a good reason. Another resident's husband is there every single day (arrives around 10 and stays through lunch, and then returns around 2:30 -- basically gone while she naps, and then leaves for the day after dinner). He likes to be there and be the one to feed her (stroke and can no longer do a lot of things for herself). Her daughters also visit regularly and bring lots of treats for everyone. Another resident's husband was another daily visitor (but sadly he passed away very unexpectedly a few weeks ago). His and her families have been taking turns who visits each day. Another resident's daughter is there and takes her mother out to lunch every Monday and Tuesday (she works the other days of the week). And the last resident does not get quite the number of visitors, but her children do visit regularly as well. She is also the oldest resident at 103, so her kids are also up there in age a bit.

The administrator has talked about how this house really has amazingly involved families. Says it can be pretty rare. She is about 15-20 minutes from where we live in the town.

 

[tvguy]

At my mom's place, everyone enters through the front door which is locked at all times (including the screen) and is expected to sign in.

I think my mom's place is unique on visitors as it has some very devoted families. My Dad and I visit my mom almost every day. If we miss a day, there is a good reason. Another resident's husband is there every single day (arrives around 10 and stays through lunch, and then returns around 2:30 -- basically gone while she naps, and then leaves for the day after dinner). He likes to be there and be the one to feed her (stroke and can no longer do a lot of things for herself). Her daughters also visit regularly and bring lots of treats for everyone. Another resident's husband was another daily visitor (but sadly he passed away very unexpectedly a few weeks ago). His and her families have been taking turns who visits each day. Another resident's daughter is there and takes her mother out to lunch every Monday and Tuesday (she works the other days of the week). And the last resident does not get quite the number of visitors, but her children do visit regularly as well. She is also the oldest resident at 103, so her kids are also up there in age a bit.

The administrator has talked about how this house really has amazingly involved families. Says it can be pretty rare. She is about 15-20 minutes from where we live in the town.

That is great that there is so much family involvement with the residents.