Can't believe what my co-worker did to me

[NY Disney fan]

I emailed her telling her that her boss' meeting didn't go smoothly due to a slight issue (which I tried hard to correct, although I wasn't obliged to, I did it out of concern). She thought I was blaming her and emailed a response to me while copying 5 other people (thinking I was blaming them too). I am so thoroughly embarrassed and heartbroken.

 

[RunningGirl]

So glad I'm not in the corporate world anymore. DH is constantly dealing with people whose only concern seems to be forwarding their own careers, not caring who they take down on the way. CYA seems to be the golden rule.

Hopefully you've built a good reputation which will allow people to understand what's really going on.

 

[Darsa]

There is NO way I would just let that go, especially in these job-depressed times. I would definitely be sending a clarifying email, starting with "I'm sorry if you misunderstood" or something like, and explaining your side. That's really uncalled for and IMO, pretty immature, for her to "go tattling" to 5 other people just on the basis of how she construed your message.

I am sorry that this has happened; I hope you get it straightened out soon!

 

[nutterbutter2010]

Thats why you never put anything in writing. Sorry it happened though, at least its Friday.....

 

[NY Disney fan]

There is NO way I would just let that go, especially in these job-depressed times. I would definitely be sending a clarifying email, starting with "I'm sorry if you misunderstood" or something like, and explaining your side.

I actually did do that. But the damage is done at this point.

 

[glitterkittyy]

I emailed her telling her that her boss' meeting didn't go smoothly due to a slight issue (which I tried hard to correct, although I wasn't obliged to, I did it out of concern). She thought I was blaming her and emailed a response to me while copying 5 other people (thinking I was blaming them too). I am so thoroughly embarrassed and heartbroken.

I've had this happen before. I think that when people think you're blaming them, it's usually because they feel guilty because maybe they ARE (at least partly) to blame. I have learned that it's always best to never put in email what I don't want on the front page of the newspaper. Email at work isn't private, afterall.

Now you know that this person can't be trusted...remember it for future communications...both in writing and verbally.

 

[NY Disney fan]

I've had this happen before. I think that when people think you're blaming them, it's usually because they feel guilty because maybe they ARE (at least partly) to blame.

 

[missypie]

Gotta love (not!) the people who copy people on their emails...I had this client who tried to call me and I was on the line with another client. She called called the main number and I was still on the line with another client. She left me a voice mail. She had me paged. This was all within a 30 minute time frame and I called her as soon as I got off the phone...so she had to wait to talk to me for 30 minutes.

Right before I called her (so when she'd been waiting for me for 28 minutes) she emailed me and copied the owner of the company saying "I haven't been able to get in touch with you for a week." Hmm...not talking to me for a half hour was represented to the big boss as an entire week.

Of course, the story gets worse. The reason it was so urgent for her to talk to me right then is that she was about to be late for her manicure appointment. So she trashes me to the boss so she won't be late for her manicure!!!

 

[NY Disney fan]

Of course, the story gets worse. The reason it was so urgent for her to talk to me right then is that she was about to be late for her manicure appointment. So she trashes me to the boss so she won't be late for her manicure!!!

That is completely unacceptable.

 

[Darsa]

Good, and I completely agree with glitterkitty; my boss has a habit of, when she makes a mistake that I'm unforutnate enough to find and have to point out to her, going through each and every bit of everything she can until she finds any mistake at all that I may have made, and making much of it. It's getting old but I'm learning to "be a duck" and let it roll off my back.

 

[purpletiger]

I emailed her telling her that her boss' meeting didn't go smoothly due to a slight issue (which I tried hard to correct, although I wasn't obliged to, I did it out of concern). She thought I was blaming her and emailed a response to me while copying 5 other people (thinking I was blaming them too). I am so thoroughly embarrassed and heartbroken.

I have the same problem with one of my co-workers. She thinks she does no wrong and complains all the time on the rest of us. She does no work and expects the rest of us to pick up her slack. So frustrating. We have tried to talk to her, but did no good. So we went to the boss who agreed with all of us and talked to her, and yet again did no good. So now we all find out she is having some mental and family problems and is on medication for this. Why couldn't she have just let us know she was having some problems and we could have worked with her on this issue and not get everyone in a tizzy. Now that she is on her meds, she is better in the working dept, but ignores all of us because she thinks we "got her in trouble". It has been over a year now and none of us know what to do.

 

[agnes!]

I have the same problem with one of my co-workers. She thinks she does no wrong and complains all the time on the rest of us. She does no work and expects the rest of us to pick up her slack. So frustrating. We have tried to talk to her, but did no good. So we went to the boss who agreed with all of us and talked to her, and yet again did no good. So now we all find out she is having some mental and family problems and is on medication for this. Why couldn't she have just let us know she was having some problems and we could have worked with her on this issue and not get everyone in a tizzy. Now that she is on her meds, she is better in the working dept, but ignores all of us because she thinks we "got her in trouble". It has been over a year now and none of us know what to do.

Isn't it a tad convenient that all her bad news came out *after* she got in trouble at work? Not that everybody is a liar, but...any excuse in a storm and all that , eh?

And even if all her problems are true, you all probably did her a favor by treating her as an adult with responsibilities...maybe that's why she got some help and is doing better at work. (Btw, if I were in your shoes I would count my blessings if she ignored me.)

agnes!

 

[GeorgeG]

All too often, no good deed goes unpunished...

 

[Silent1CB]

So glad I'm not in the corporate world anymore.

DITTO!

Hugs OP.

 

[lovesmurfs]

I emailed her telling her that her boss' meeting didn't go smoothly due to a slight issue (which I tried hard to correct, although I wasn't obliged to, I did it out of concern). She thought I was blaming her and emailed a response to me while copying 5 other people (thinking I was blaming them too). I am so thoroughly embarrassed and heartbroken.

Yep. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you hadn't given her a heads up and she was called on the carpet for it, you would be at fault because you didn't warn her.

It'll smooth over, given time. TGIF!

 

[missypie]

This all goes to illustrate how important it is to act with the utmost intregity and dilgence at our jobs. When we encounter people at work who want to make us look bad, we need to have established such a positive reputation that the powers that be just know we didn't do the wrong of which we are accused.

 

[kaytieeldr]

One final e-mail, to her and the other five people (whose business this was not until she involved them): To clarify, I was alerting you earlier that, due to a slight glitch beyond anyone's control, your boss's meeting did not go as smoothly as would have been optimal. Thank you for not taking the original e-mail personally or as any type of accusation."

 

[C.Ann]

Emails out in the real world are no more "private" than the PM's here..
Just take it as one of life's little lessons..

 

[wvjules]

Why did you email an employee to let her know that HER boss' meeting didn't go well?

 

[DMRick]

I"m sorry this happened to you. Any emaiils or PM's I send, I send knowing full well that anybody could be reading them. With that in mind I I make sure that I never say anything I would mind, if the wrong person read it. She was prob upset. Hope you get a chance to 'fix' this.

I emailed her telling her that her boss' meeting didn't go smoothly due to a slight issue (which I tried hard to correct, although I wasn't obliged to, I did it out of concern). She thought I was blaming her and emailed a response to me while copying 5 other people (thinking I was blaming them too). I am so thoroughly embarrassed and heartbroken.