Cancer diagnosis of husband and more, losing my mind!!

[luvmy3]

 

[tinatark]

Wow... you are going through a lot... prayers for you!

Let me give you this advice - with certain diagnoses, your life insurance company may pay part of the face value with a doctors note. Just something you may check into.

 

[MickeysMommy]

 

[DMickey28]

Carolyn - My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

 

[mumom95]

No one should have to go through what you are going through. And just because others do go through it, doesn't make your pain any less. You, your husband and your children are in my thoughts.

 

[TLHB70]

I am so sorry to read this.
I just said a prayer for your family.

 

[Chris2597]

Wow, you are dealing with alot!! A prayer sent up for your family.

I take it from your post that your dh is unable to work now. Have you started the paperwork to start SS disablilty payments? A friend did this when her dh was dx with cancer. He was unable to work and he recieved SS disability....she and their children under 18 all recieved a check. I think he would have qualified for medicare at some point.

 

[mickeyboat]

Carolyn. I am so sorry for what your family is going through. I said a prayer for you.

Denae

 

[Minnesota!]

I just wanted to offer you hugs and a "shoulder to cry on". Cancer really truly stinks. It took my dad, my MIL, my 9 year old goddaughter, and many more around me.

I pray for a miracle for your husband and peace in everything else that is going on.

 

[ead79]

Carolyn, I am so sorry that you're going through all of this right now. It's totally and completely understandable that you would be so stressed. I will lift your husband up in prayer for healing as well as pray that your financial situation and insurance situation would be resolved.

 

[j's m]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your DH. Special thoughts too for your dear children.

 

[EthansMom]

My family spent all last year dealing with major health issues of my DH. The best advice I can give you is to concentrate on your family. If there are other commitments in your life that you can step back from (kids' sports, volunteer stuff, what have you), consider doing so now. One of the best things I did last year was step away from PTO and volunteering in the kids' classrooms. In retrospect, I should have taken DS out of his commitment-heavy sports and put him in something that took less time/energy. Having that extra time and energy was really important when we had so much else (dr. appointments, etc..) going on in our lives.

Also, realize that as much as you might try to insulate your children from this, they do pick up on the stress and that can really effect their behavior. We saw a huge flare up of DD's OCD last winter.

My DH ended up having surgery and is doing much better.

I wish your DH, yourself and your family well. You'll be in my thoughts!

 

[mom2mikel]

Just wanted to offer and prayers to your family

 

[rie'smom]

Your family is in my prayers.

 

[ahhappy]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through all of this.
I don't have any great words of wisdom. You've gotten some good advice here already.

If you haven't found them already this place is great: http://lungevity.org/l_community/index.php

A wonderful community of survivors, caregivers and advocates. It was a great support for me during my mom's illness.

I hope you are able to find some peace for yourself and your family.

Amy

 

[powellrj]

I am so sorry

 

[live4christp1]

I am so sorry for all that you and your family are facing/going through right now. Please know that I will be praying for you.

These verses have always brought me comfort in times of trouble, I pray they bless you as well.

Psalm 9:9 & 10 - The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; for You Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.

 

[minkydog]

Oh, Carolyn You are bearing an impossible load. I wish we could come alongside you and take some of the burden.

My DH has had a similar(though not the same) experience with his illness. He has stage 4 lung disease. His health is very fragile, and eventually this disease will kill him. DH never smoked in his life, always execised & ate right. Our lives have been up-ended by this illness. Sometimes I just want to scream "THIS IS NOT FAIR!!"

I don't know if you have started the application for SSDI but if not, now is the time. I'm very sure your DH would be awarded SSDI due to the severity of his illness. SSDI won't replace his whole income,but it will relieve some of your load. I would also talk with the hospital social worker or your local health department about applying for whatever catastrophic coverage your state has. Once your DH is approved for SSDI, they will probably put him on Medicare pretty quickly due to his condition.

As for your poor little girl-- I know this is so hard for you and for her. She may not understand what's going on *and really, do any of you?* but she is absorbing all the worry and fear in the household. My DD was about 10 when DH nearly died from septic shock. He was very ill for a long time and our who household was turned upside down. Fortunately, her school guidance counselor was able to help us. She got DD hooked up with the "Friendship Club", a group for girls who were experiencing grief or serious turmoil in their families. Once a week, the GC took DD out of class to join her with the other 5-6 girls for their 30-min "club." Sometimes they made collages or necklaces. They made crafts and told stories about their families. DD went to the Friendship Club for 6 months and never knew it was a therapeutic group therapy. But it really helped her get re-grounded.

I know this is a terrible time for you. As the caregiver, you have to keep all the balls up in the air and it's not what you signed on for. It's okay to be angry, sad, irrational, and weepy. You don't have to have a specific reason. If you find that it's getting to be too much for you, consider seeing a therapist yourself who can help you through this awful thing.