Cancelling my FTW...

[FutureAshleyDukes]

I'm really sad to say that today I will be calling to cancel my wedding. I feel awful right now, but so much has happened lately that I know this isn't the right time. My fiance has epilepsy, and this morning he had a seizure that caused him to disconnect both shoulders leaving him feeling miserable and us with a huge hospital bill even with insurance helping us. My dad and step-mom told me last week that they would not be attending, and Ihave been getting constant calls from DH2B's family questioning whether we were sure we wanted to get married (we've only been dating 2 1/2 years, I guess that's not long enough ) Anyhow all of this on top of school (finishing my student teaching this semester) and work has become too much for me, not to mention yesterday my EM told me she was leaving FTW and when she sent me my finalized planning sheet everything I had discussed with her was wrong despite an e-mail sent to her I have gotten no reply as to fixing this. This just isn't turning out to be something I'm happy planning or being involved with anymore. When people ask me if I'm excited about my wedding I say yes, but most of the time my good friends can tell I'm not. I know I'm going to lose at least $1000 in deposits already paid, but I don't mind. I love my DH2B so very much, and am very much in love with him and I plan to marry him this year, but obviously Disney, his family, and mine just aren't going to make this easy for us.

Thank you everyone for your support. I will really miss visiting here, but it's just all too hard right now.

Ashley

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

Ashley, first, I hope your DH2B is feeling better soon and I am sorry to hear about the injury from the seizure. That said, I really feel for what you are going through right now with the families and everything else that is going wrong. You must be a very strong person to be able to deal his family questioning your relationship. I have seen your past posts and I know you were really looking forward to getting married at Disney before all the problems. Just remember that the important thing is that you are getting married to the man you love. It might be tough with family members acting the way they are, but you two are committed to each other and in the end, it doesn't matter were you get married (even though it may seem like it now!) but what really matters is what kind of marriage and life you make for yourselves afterwards. I really hope you get through all this and eventually have a wedding and life that will make both of you happy. When you are ready, I'm sure all of us would still love to hear about the wedding you plan at home and all the details after the ceremony and reception. Keep strong, good luck with the student teacher program and I hope your fiance feels better soon.

Jessica

 

[twojo21]

i'm so sorry to hear about the cancellation ashley. i hope everything works out for you & your fiance. sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. best wishes in your future wedding plans & your fiance's health.

 

[jlkmn]

i hope your fiance is feeling better. have you thought of an intimate wedding with thosw that are supportive of you both. if you love each other that is all that matters. maybe you canmove your deposit to an intimate wedding and not lose your money also it would be cheaper and you could still have your disney wedding and marry your prince charming no matter what anybody else thinks. good luck in your decisions and with school. keep us updated
jen

 

[zdesiree]

I don't understand why sometimes family can be so difficult. I really hope that at the end everything turns good for both of you. You guys look like you really love each other and that's what matters.

God bless you both.

 

[rosiejo]

I'm so sad to hear your news Ashley. I hope your DH2B feels better soon and that you can have your wedding this year as you hoped. I think you both know when it's time to make the commitment and there is no correct time that has to pass, our families freaked out when we bought a house together 7 months after meeting - but we knew it was the right thing to do, and we'll have only ben together just over 3 when the wedding happens.

I don't know why families make this so hard - it is meant to be your special day.

Don't give up on Disney if that's what you want, you may regret it in years to come when you look back and think that your so called loved ones ruined your dream. Just be with each other and be happy and that's all that matters, and if the wedding is too much pressure right now then put it on hold, but only if its what you both want.

Good luck for the future

RJ

 

[Honeibee]

I know it's sad, but take things one day at a time. Best of luck to both of you.

 

[ohanafamily]

Hi Ashley, I am so sorry to hear about your Wedding plans... Are you still going to WDW? maybe you can use the deposits for something else? or maybe you can say it is because your EM is leaving... Maybe an Elopement might work and you can use the deposit later? It is really bad when families get in the mix and start to pressure you...


Listen, if you need a break you are always welcome here, and if Virtual Chocolate is your passion, all are welcome in the Chocolate Vault...
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?p=8193186#post8193186

 

[jblondie18]

Hi Ashley, I am so sorry to hear about your news. I hope your DH2B is feeling well soon!!! I am relatively new to the boards, but I know how much you were looking forward to the wedding. But, if it isn't right, its best to do it when the time IS right!! Please know that we are all here to support you. Also, it may not seem like it right now, but you WILL have your dream wedding. I don't know why families make things so hard. Its just a high stress time for everyone I guess, but I just wish some people would put thier feelings aside, and be happy for you!!!!
Good luck with everything!!!

 

[ead79]

Ashley, I am so sorry to hear that you have to cancel your wedding. I think you’re making the right decision if doing this is robbing you of your joy. I’m so sorry that family members aren’t making it easy on you. I also hope that your fiancé recovers quickly and fully. As others have suggested, maybe you could elope and have an Intimate or have a vow renewal at Disney after your ceremony at home.

 

[DAWGPOUNDAJ]

First I just wanted to say that you and your fiance are in my prayers, and I am so sorry to hear about the problems with the families as well. If it helps a lot of us go through the family's dissent thing. My husband and I had been together for over 5 years when we got engaged and ohhhhh the fits my in-laws threw about it. Just keep this in mind: The only people who know whether your relationship is right or not are you and your fiance. NO ONE else can even come close to understandign the feelings you two have specifically for each other. Not your families, not your friends, no one. They can give advice, but if it's negative and without a base to it ignore them. Sadly there is a LOT of negativity in this world. Unhappy people try to share thier unhappiness with the rest of the world and it sounds like your in-laws are doign just that. I wish the best of luck to you both and a speedy recovery for your fiance. If you ever need to vent about the in-laws feel free to PM me. I've got a lovely set myself.

Also, if a Disney wedding is not in the workds right now, consider doing a vow renewal there. DH and I are planning one for our 5 year anniversary since my in-laws managed to muck up our wedding plans as well. (Long story short it involved them forbidding us the ability to see my DH's kid brother if we had a destination wedding, and we couldn't risk that happeneing.) Best of luck, and there are always Disneymoons to look forward to.

 

[ohanafamily]

Yep, I guess we all have someone who is controlling trying to run our lives.

FutureAshleyDukes, I forgot to mention this in my previous posts, but my prayers are with you and your DF. I know that this is a rough time for you. I also know how you want your fairy tale. Please never give up on the magic. I guess if you really wanted to torque off the families, call a JP... Seriously, I would see about possibly getting the deposits held in a sort of escroe rather than forfeit; Medical problems and your EM being changed. You should be able to swing some accomodation.

 

[LK03]

Oh Ashley I'm so sorry to hear the news. I hope you and your DH2B I find an alternative that you are happy and excited about.

 

[Tiggerlover91]

Awww Ashley...I've been following your wedding plans as often as I see you post about them and I'm so sorry you have to resort to this.
You know they say you can chose your friends, but you CANNOT chose your family, don't you wish otherwise? I am just so sorry your family and/or his has to make this difficult for you.
I agree on moving your deposit to another time and doing what makes you and DH2B happy. I know of one couple who visits this board who eloped and said it was one of the best decisions they ever made. Both families seemed to be okay with it and in the long run, who cares so long as THEY are happy!
I do hope your fiance is okay and will be on the road to recovery soon. Please understand and I know it's cliche, but everything happens for a reason. It just isn't time for your wedding at the moment, but it will be and don't you ever give up on that. Please stick around and let us know how you're doing. My blessings are with you and keep that chin up okay?

Blessings always,

Denise

 

[missastrocat]

Ashley,

I am so very sorry for you having to cancel your wedding plans. Like everyone else has said thus far, my thoughts are with you and your DH2B. I understand the family issues getting in the way. I think you have made a wise choice as far as knowing when you are unhappy planning. I think once you become unhappy it isn't right. Take some time away from things.

As far as you two not dating long enough, the family needs to butt out. Only you and your fiance can decide that. I don't think there is a certain time as to when someone knows someone well enough. It just depends.

Keep your head high and know you have a wonderful support group here if you ever want to talk.

Laura

 

[KA011005]

Ashley,

I hope your fiance is feeling better, and no matter what your family thinks I think you could have a small church wedding at home go to disney on your honeymoon and have a vow renewal for you guys! This way everyone is happy and you can wear your dress twice... Don't worry about everything it just got put on hold and will resume when the time is right! I hope everything work out for yuo & your DH2B!! God Bless!