Cancelled Wedding

[Rhombus]

Did anyone have someone, a friend, relative, etc. cancel a wedding relatively last minute? Or did YOU cancel your wedding after plans have already been made?

Last Christmas, we received a "save the date" note inside the Christmas card from partner's friend. Friend's daughter planned an Orlando wedding (not Disney) for Saturday, September 26. Formal invitations came in late July, and we accepted and booked flights and a hotel.

Last night, partner receives a group e-mail from mother of the bride. "We regret to inform you that the wedding of X and Y on September 26 will not be taking place. We apologize for the late notice and any inconvenience."

We have no idea what happened. Perhaps sometime in the future partner will find out.

Now we're trying to decide whether to still go to Orlando for the 3 days. Airfare is on Southwest, so we can cancel and use the funds for another trip by next August. Hotel can be cancelled up to 24 hours in advance without penalty. But we'll probably still go. Fortunately, the destination is desirable. No offense to anyone living there, but I'm glad the wedding wasn't supposed to be in someplace like Evansville, Indiana.

And now we don't have to give a wedding gift!!! Hmmm, speaking of which, should the bride return the gift partner gave her at the wedding shower? Not that she wants it back, it was some type of storage organizer thing that was on the registry from Bed Bath and Beyond that cost about $20.

Any other cancelled wedding stories?

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Only one I know of was from decades ago. While still in HS my best friend's sister was engaged. Her grandmother made all the dresses etc. A few weeks before the wedding the bride got cold feet and called it off but they were still together and still engaged. She just wanted to wait etc. 2 years later (friend and I are in college at this point) same thing. Wedding was planned, new dresses made by grandma and bride gets cold feet again 3 weeks before the wedding and cancels. There was a third time planned a vegas elopement thing from what I hear but not sure on the details as friend and I had drifted. Gossip going around at the time was that he planned this one and stood her up at the airport but who knows if that's the truth or not. He got married to somebody else eventually and has 3 kids, she never got married. We are all mid to late 40's now. This happened close to 30 years ago.

 

[diznygirl]

Yup. Best friend had her fiancé cancel at three weeks out. I got the call the day I was supposed to go in for a final fitting for the bridesmaid dress. She offered to pay for the dress - but I felt that HE should pay me, not her. This was years ago and she has talked to him since - I tell her every time to ask for my money!

I ended up donating the dress to a group that was collecting prom dresses.

 

[firecracker725]

It happened to a couple that were friends of friends. Apparently he decided to hook up with a high school girl the week before their wedding. It was a mess. She had to return gifts and was out a lot of money with vendors whom she couldn't cancel. Our whole town was talking about it and hardly anyone would talk to the guy. She married someone else and is very happy now, but he just recently left his wife and three kids for a 22 year old he met at a bar. He's a real nice guy.

 

[bgirldeb]

And now we don't have to give a wedding gift!!! Hmmm, speaking of which, should the bride return the gift partner gave her at the wedding shower? Not that she wants it back, it was some type of storage organizer thing that was on the registry from Bed Bath and Beyond that cost about $20.

Yes, the bride should return the shower gifts. Whether she will is another story.

 

[Earstou]

Distant family member had a destination wedding planned. About 5 weeks before wedding, bride ran into old boyfriend, and decided she wasn't ready to get married, so called off wedding.
Bride's family paid everyone's cancellation fees for the resort. I don't know what they did about airfare.
We had decided not to go since the resort was in a remote location and travel was not easy or quick. DH could have taken a day or two off work, but not the time required for the travel, plus time for the wedding. Plus the high cost for the resort turned us off - seemed like we were helping pay for the wedding!
Same bride had previously been engaged to someone else and planning a wedding when she got cold feet and called it quits.

 

[pryncess527]

And now we don't have to give a wedding gift!!! Hmmm, speaking of which, should the bride return the gift partner gave her at the wedding shower? Not that she wants it back, it was some type of storage organizer thing that was on the registry from Bed Bath and Beyond that cost about $20.

In theory, yes. DH and I lived together before we got married, but did not use any of our wedding or shower gifts before the actual wedding for this very reason. Even though there was no chance of us calling it off, it's always been part of bridal etiquette that it is poor form to use the gifts before the wedding because they should be returnable.

i've never known anyone who called off a wedding though, so never had to test the practice to see how many actually do it.

 

[mamamary]

The only one I can recall was from a long time ago. Right after a really big engagement party my first cousin and fiancé called off the wedding. From what I can recall she kept everything but wouldn't have a shower or engagement party in the future. I'm pretty sure she stuck to that cause I remember the wedding and there wasn't any shower before it

 

[Wendy31]

Yes, my friend from high school cancelled her wedding about 3-4 months before the wedding date, if I remember correctly.

Her wedding had been planned to be a rather large, formal event w/ several bridesmaids & ushers. Her parents had paid for all the bridesmaids' dresses. I was a bridesmaid, & I remember my dress had come in. However, I hadn't gone in for a final fitting. The mother of the bride & my mother were also friends, & I remember her mother saying to mine that she now had a closetful of bridesmaids dresses (I'm thinking around 10) as well as her daughter's wedding dress which had also come in, & she didn't know what she was going to do w/ all of them.

I don't remember if her family sent out a formal announcement or not. This was over 20 years ago, &, at the time, "save the dates" weren't really being done yet. Since she cancelled about 4 months out, the actual invitations hadn't been mailed yet, even though they'd been ordered.

I remember her mom calling my mom to let her know, & I think word just kind of got around.

I think my friend had had a shower given to her by her fiancé's family in their town, but she had not yet had any showers in her hometown. So I don't know what she did w/ any gifts she & her fiancé had received. But I do think any gifts received are supposed to be returned to the giver if the wedding ends up being cancelled.

My friend got married about 6 or so years later (to a different man), &, this time, her wedding was much smaller & more scaled down than her first wedding had been planned to be. She only had one attendant, her sister-in-law, & I attended as a guest w/ my own husband.

 

[powellrj]

I had a boss I didn't like call off her wedding after we had given her a shower. She didn't give the gifts back and I didn't care because I had regifted her a gift from my bridal shower held the year before. Last I heard, she is in her middle 60's and is still single.

 

[sonnyjane]

I haven't known anyone personally to do this, but I know someone about to get married that I WISH would cancel their wedding...

 

[goofinoff]

My friend canceled her wedding 5 days before. The reason was very good and justified. While it was a very difficult pill to swallow at the time, she is better off. If she hadn't called the wedding off she would have been filing for divorce within a year. The bride still went on her honeymoon with friends. She deserved to go on the trip. She did return wedding gifts that she received before the wedding. I don't know what she did about the shower gifts. I told her I didn't want the gift back. I hadn't given her her wedding gift yet so I was able to return it.

 

[wilkeliza]

Cousin cancelled her first wedding. She was young (this was almost 15 years or more now) and her fiance has just graduated from ITT Tech. Back then they guaranteed you a job but didn't say where. Well he was sent to work in Washington state. We are all from Texas. A few weeks before the wedding she called him and said sorry I can't get married and move to Washington. It was kind of awkward for us. I was a preteen and remember being confused that suddenly this guy who had been apart of our family for 5-6 years wouldn't be any more. I mean he went on family vacations, was at birthdays, Christmast, etc.

Flash forward to now cousin is happily married to a different guy and has 4 kids. We all kind of lost track of the other guy.

 

[weeniecat2442]

I haven't known anyone personally to do this, but I know someone about to get married that I WISH would cancel their wedding...

was thinking the SAME thing!

 

[RedAngie]

No, I haven't heard of this happening to anybody I know. But I think it's smart to call off the wedding if they realize things aren't right. It seems some couples are afraid of embarrassment, or are pressured by their families to go through with the charade because all the arrangements have been made, money spent, etc. Then they get divorced a year later.

 

[tvguy]

My cousin's son canceled his wedding the morning of. All my cousin will say is "it was a mess". No idea about gifts, we were not invited (nor did we expect to be) and did not send a gift.

 

[soccerdad72]

One of my wife's partners had his daughter call off two weddings (to two different men). I forget all the details, but I seem to recall that she broke off one and the guy broke off the other. One of the cancelled weddings ended up becoming the firm's Christmas party (sort of). Since they were already on the hook for the deposit and a lot of other money sunk into the reception location, her partner just decided to use it to host the Christmas party for the office that year instead of waste the money.

 

[sonnyjane]

Crap I just remembered I guess I do "know" somebody that did this! It was when DH and I first started dating. He flew to Texas to be a groomsman for a friend. They did rehearsal dinner the night before, and in the morning the bride and groom did photos before the afternoon ceremony at an off-site location. After the photos but before the ceremony, the bride and groom took separate limos to the church. When they got to the church, the groom-to-be said he couldn't go through with it. He wouldn't get out of the limo. The bride's dad and brothers came out to try to reason with him but he wasn't budging, so it erupted into a fist fight. The groom took off in the limo. My DH heard from the guy a few months later and he ran off to Korea to teach English I guess. I don't know what happened with the bride. This was almost 10 years ago. I never met him so it didn't occur to me when I first read this thread.

 

[gwynne]

Yes, relative on Dh's side. There seemed to be a ton of drama and misery with the couple. I put purchasing airfare on hold...Glad I did.
I think they made a good decision to part ways. They certainly didn't seem happy.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Did anyone have someone, a friend, relative, etc. cancel a wedding relatively last minute? Or did YOU cancel your wedding after plans have already been made?

Last Christmas, we received a "save the date" note inside the Christmas card from partner's friend. Friend's daughter planned an Orlando wedding (not Disney) for Saturday, September 26. Formal invitations came in late July, and we accepted and booked flights and a hotel.

Last night, partner receives a group e-mail from mother of the bride. "We regret to inform you that the wedding of X and Y on September 26 will not be taking place. We apologize for the late notice and any inconvenience."

We have no idea what happened. Perhaps sometime in the future partner will find out.

Now we're trying to decide whether to still go to Orlando for the 3 days. Airfare is on Southwest, so we can cancel and use the funds for another trip by next August. Hotel can be cancelled up to 24 hours in advance without penalty. But we'll probably still go. Fortunately, the destination is desirable. No offense to anyone living there, but I'm glad the wedding wasn't supposed to be in someplace like Evansville, Indiana.

And now we don't have to give a wedding gift!!! Hmmm, speaking of which, should the bride return the gift partner gave her at the wedding shower? Not that she wants it back, it was some type of storage organizer thing that was on the registry from Bed Bath and Beyond that cost about $20.

Any other cancelled wedding stories?

Unless you want to go at Christmas, I would cancel and go whenever it suits you.
As for the organizer thing it's only $20. I'd just consider it a gift if I gave it. Unfortunately, we have no cancelled wedding stories to share. Everyone we know went through with it. Although just for fun, I'd love to go to one where someone said no at the altar.