Can you reason with 2 year olds

[huey duey & luey]

It feels like for the last few days there is always someone crying or yelling (me included). Everything has turned into a fight, eating changing diapers, they are literally put into bed kicking and screaming. They fight with eachother over anything and everything. I try to seperate them and then they cry for eachother. I really dont know what to do. I go outside whenver its nice and they are definately better. Any suggestions from veteran parents would be great, because I am definately at a loss. Thanks
Tara

 

[4greatboys]

As the mom of a 2yr old also I just wanted to say sometimes it is very hard (impossible) to reason with 2 yr olds. Are they bored? It seems like my 2 oldest used to fight more with each other and me whenever they were bored.
Sorry you are having a rough time with your kiddo's right now
I know its not any fun.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

With my 2 year old some times I just had to walk away. Not out the door but, just so she couldn't hear me or whine to me. I could catch my breath and then I tried to make her laugh. Some times laughter (distraction) is the only way I can deal with the whiny-ness.

Try turning putting clothes on into a game. If my child would not eat I would not force them to. I don't think anyone wins that battle. JMHO.

 

[GoofyPrincess]

I am the proud mother of three-year-old twins (Zachary and Rachel) and I totally sympathize with you! At about 18 months, my two realized that they could gang up on me and win. By two years, every little thing was a battle - I felt like all I did was yell and/or break up fights between the two of them.

A couple of things I learned:
1) They really acted better after a little alone time with myself or my husband. I think that the competition for our attention overwhelmed them.

2) Be consistant. If you yell at them for taking off their diapers and tearing them into little pieces once, you need to discipline them each time. (We use time out and it seems to work. They didn't understand spanking, but they hate to sit still for any length of time!)

3) It is a phase. It lasted about 8 months for us - then they decided that they liked each other and wanted to play nicely. Go figure.

4) If you keep them extremely busy, they get tired and listen a little better. (They also sleep more!)

Anyway - I don't know if any of this will help, but hopefully it helps to know that your kids are perfectly "normal" (and so are you!) Hang in there!

 

[Mimi Q]

I have a 2 yo myself, and I cannot reason with her. Sweetest child on earth until she hears the word no.

 

[becka]

I don't think you can reason with a 2 year old - well at least you can't reason with my 2 y/o. I agree with trying to use laughter as much as possible even if you don't feel much like laughing. They seem to respond better.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

My just turned 2 year old has started crying and squealing over everything. We go to the pool so that he can burn off all of his energy. I let him get tuckered out so that he will take a long nap. I don't know about triplets but mine is fighting with his older brother and sister constantly.

I think he has figured out that the world doesn't revolve around him and he is angry!

Lori

 

[shortbun]

One was hard. Three, well I'd not have a clue. Whatever you
decide to do, remember that they are watching to see what
happens after each activity and will continue to be little scientists
in that regard for many years. If one on one time is an option, I'd
do that. Also, get yourself some alone time. Put them to bed
earlier if you can-even 15 minutes will help you get some of the
stress out. Get ear plugs, learn relaxation breathing, get some
10 year old girls to come in as a mother's helper for a dollar and
hour to play with them and hold them and give you a break.
Sing. Kids love it and it's a great stress reducer. they don't care what you sound like. Sing all your fav rock/jazz songs. My son's
favorite song to this day is "Summertime" from Porgy and Bess.
When he hears it he says, "Mom, that's your song."
Good luck.
mimi

 

[HollyJoy]

LOL, don't think so! Keep trying though! I remember those days all too well.

 

[poohtown]

possible but difficult.

I used to be a daycare teacher and taught children ranging from babies till kindergarten. The two-year old room was definately a challenge. The only thing I can say is plan. The attention span is so low that it might seem like a waste to plan any activities, but they are learning every minute. It's so much harder for you as a 24 hour parent. I used to do little art projects, read, building blocks, etc. I remember when my kids were two we would go outside alot! Try to get involved in local activities. Stay calm. If you need a breather - take it. They can cry for a minute while you pull yourself together.

My god-son is two. He was over the other day, crying hysterically. I finally picked him up, walked into the hallway and sat him on my little bench. I told him to sit there till he calmed down, then talk to me. He, of course, walked away as soon as I did, but I just picked him up and repeated the previous words. After only a few seconds he calmed down. Then I asked him if he was ok and what he needed. "A drink". Then I explained he had to use words because I don't understand crying. He was fine after that although he needs reminding.

 

[liznboys]

All I can say is hang in there, take it one day at a time. It really does get better!! My boys are 4.5, 2.5 and 3 months. The 2.5 yr old is just starting to come out of the terrible 2's (it began with him at about 15 months...), I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. LOL I keep telling my 3 month old that he is going to be my little angel.

 

[RNMOM]

Humor. Honestly. It is the only thing that got me through those days.

Try to turn things into a silly joke/ fun thing. When they are resisting make as if you expected it and laugh that they do what you thought they would.

Also, put them in a safe place and give yourself a time out. I had my kid's rooms stripped of all cords, plugs, etc and would give them 15 min. in their own rooms with gates while I layed down or had a cup of tea. Just to keep my hands off them. Funny thing is they almost always were playing quietly with the toys or books when the time was up. I called it a mommy timeout.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

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to you moms


Mine is 15 now, but when she was a toddler -- watch out -- I really couldn't reason with her until she was 4, so I had to just deal with it.

Before you know it, this too shall pass.

 

[kilee]

It will pass!! My son is now 11-- but when he was a toddler there were days I didn't think I was going to make it. I did the "mommy time outs" thing too because for alomst a year I thought I was really, really going to lose my head. Here's hoping for a good day for you!!

 

[browneyes]

My kids were sweet when they were 2. When they turned 3, I about went bald.

 

[mickeyboat]

Good luck to you. I can't imagine raising three little ones. I have a DD3 and DD4. Both kids were fine at two but very difficult at three. Hang in there. I agree with other posters who say that keeping them busy, especially outside, works wonders. My kids go through phases where they get along very well and some when they fight like the dickens. I find that separating them and doing something special with them one on one makes me appreciate them more. When we were on our cruise in March, separating them was the only way we could enjoy them - they were fighting like cats and dogs.

Remember how far you've come with them. It only gets easier.

Denae

 

[cinmell]

I feel your pain! My daughter is 3 1/2 and the 2's were bad, 3's are worse! I don't have much advice to add to what others have posted. When she is in a mood, things that work to help calm/quiet her down are crafts, coloring, play doh, legos or doing the look and find books. Other times I just put her in her room and wait it out. Good luck, I can't wait until this stage is over, I can't take much more!!!!

 

[huey duey & luey]

Thanks for the advice, everyone. Today we went to Sesame Place, and as we were dragging my daughter off of Elmo my dh said, you really want to take them to Disney?
Tara

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

Mine are 5 1/2 and 2 1/2, so I am in round 2 of terrible 2s. the thing I have found that works the best is to give the kids choices. Such as, outfit A or outfit B. Shoes A or shoes B. That way, when it came to the big NOs (don't touch the stove, etc), they accept them more readily. This doesn't always work, but it seems to hep in my house. Of course, I never had three going thru terrible 2s at once.

 

[MizlurksaLot]

The simple answer to that question is no. You can however distract them.

I'm not a mom, but I have worked with two year olds at a daycare for the past 3 years. Parents ask us this question all the time. So don't worry, you're not alone (as you've seen).

The only advice I can offer is to give them something else to do, or to look at, and make sure they run a lot - they need to get their energy out . 2 year olds are very curious beings, and also very stubborn. As for separating them, that's probably the best thing you can do if they're fighting. I'm sure it's hard to hear them cry for each other, but they'll be ok just give them something to do while they're apart. I hope I've been of some help and don't just sound like someone who thinks she knows everything because she works with kids - I've still got a lot to learn, I know what it's like to be with kids for 10 hrs. a day/4 days a week, but not 24/7.

Good luck