Can someone put my worries to rest?

[Tnkrbelle565]

I think I am overly worrying about my Dis trip. My mom is coming with us and it all of a sudden dawned on my that SHE might get a little sad during the trip. See we went to Disney every year when I was little. And the last vacation her and my dad took together was to Disney. My dad passed away 2 years ago so my mom is still at that point that random things make her sad. I didn't even THINK that this might bother her until last week and now I've been obsessing about things to do to make the trip special for her. So can people please tell me that I'm nuts, she's going to have a great time because she's with us and her granddaughter, and that she may not even be thinking about this? People can't be sad at the Happiest Place on Earth right?

 

[DVCLiz]

I think it's very likely that she will be a little sad, and there's no reason for her to have to hide it. But it shouldn't ruin your trip, either. She will also have the experience of making new memories with her family as it exists now.

I'd ask if she'd like to do anything special to celebrate the memory of the times you had at WDW with your father. She might like to go to a place that had a special memory, or take a flower and leave it at a special place. I'd acknowledge to her that you've thought about it, and then let her take the lead. And I'd stress that your only thought was to make things as easy as possible for her.

Have a wonderful trip!!

 

[Gramgwen]

I think your mother will have mixed emotions....sad because your father is not there to enjoy, but happy to have the wonderful memories of past trips. I am sure she is aware of what effect this trip will have on her emotions, but she is going! And she is going because of you and your family. I bet she is counting on being happy to be with all of you and hoping the sad feelings don't overshadow the happy ones. I don't think you were being inconsiderate of her feelings when you planned this. On the contrary, you sound like you are doing your best to help her through her grief. I hope this helped a little and your trip is Magical.

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

I'd ask if she'd like to do anything special to celebrate the memory of the times you had at WDW with your father. She might like to go to a place that had a special memory, or take a flower and leave it at a special place.

Nice thought....thank you! My biggest fear is that if, by chance, she isn't worried about it (since she would NEVER tell me if she was), I'll make it worse by bringing it up.

 

[SLDL]

I think it would be only natural for her to think about him on the trip. I agree with others...I'd ask if she'd like to do something to remember him, I like the flower idea. I was also thinking that if you have a small, sentimental treasure that belonged to your dad (a pin, a hankerchief, something easy to carry) that you could take it to one of the parks just to tell her that in some small way he is with you. I hope this doesn't sound corny, but just some ideas. Oh, if there is a funny memory of their trip, maybe that would be something to reminisce (sp?) about and give her a laugh instead of a tear.

 

[alloyd1170]

My mom was into all things Disney (the Disneyana conventions and collections, etc). As a family, we took many trips there, even when she was battling cancer. She passed away 5 yrs ago in Oct. My dad and I have been taking my kids (well my son, now my daughters 1st trip is coming up next in 3 weeks) for a few years now.

My moms death was hard on all of us. Our first trip back to WDW was a happy one, because it was my sons first trip. All the focus was on him having fun and watching him discover new things. We also talked about my mom, saying oh remember when we did this, or wow she would love this, and its too bad shes not here now to see my son enjoy it.

I wouldnt freak out about it. Instead, think and talk about the old times, and know that your loved one is there with you in spirit. Dont bottle up your emotions as it only makes things worse. I was nervous about bringing up my mom with my dad as he still gets upset today. Shed a few tears if you need to as well. Do some things that you loved one liked to do at WDW. Make it a happy time in your loved ones honor.

alison

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

Thanks folks for all the great ideas of special ways to remember my dad when we are there. My dad was definately the original Disney-aholic in my family (passed onto me).

 

[mytwinklestar]

Nice thought....thank you! My biggest fear is that if, by chance, she isn't worried about it (since she would NEVER tell me if she was), I'll make it worse by bringing it up.

In my experience I have told people that by sharing or allowing me to share my feelings of loss/grief - they do not make me sad or make me cry, they allow my tears. There is a big difference. With such a loss the longing is just below the surface always... it would seem to me that IF she is feeling any anxious feelings, you gently mentioning your concern will acknowledge and vindicate her feelings. She will know that you care (not that she thinks you don't care - but it will be an outward expression). IF she is not (which is unlikely) feeling a tad anxious, your bringing it up will not harm the situation. We cannot take away another's sorrows but in recognizing them, we are able to share in them. Does that make sense? I can't seem to find the appropriate words but I am trying. There are times that I have cried in longing for my daughter when watching the fireworks, parades, or Fantasmic! - but the tears of joy have far outweighed those of sorrow. I pray that your family has a magnificent trip. Your Mom is very blessed to have you and your family! Bless you all.

 

[ObsessedwithWDW]

THis post made me soooooo sad.....I am holding my breath so I don't cry. I hope you all have a wonderful trip thinking of both old memories and new memories!

 

[kribit]

looking down on you and your family.

I'm sure your mom will have periods of sadness where she misses your dad, but I'm sure she will so enjoy being able to experience Disney with her grand daughter.

Don't stress...but that is so sweet that you are thining of your mom's feelings so much. I'm sure she would appreciate it.

Take care and have a wonderful trip.