Can someone BECOME your soulmate?

[Beauty]

In church this morning (we are taking a class on marriage) one of the counselors on the tape wrote a book called BECOMING Soul Mates. Personally I don't think you can BECOME a soul mate to your signigicant other. I think you either are or you aren't. I'm not by any means saying that you can't be happy or in love but a real and true soul mate isn't something learned, its something that just IS OR ISN'T.

Thats my opinion, whats yours?

 

[pw2pp]

I think what she probably means is that you can put God in the center of your marriage and if you both have the same beliefs and use that as the core of your marriage, you are in a sense "Soul Mates"

 

[Beauty]

I haven't read the book, just saw it mentioned today so you may be right in the sense that she doesn't mean "Soul Mates" in the same way I'm thinking. I haven't thought about that.

 

[parrothead365]

I gotta agree with you. You can love somebody very much, but soulmates... you know it when you find them. I knew the first time I met my wife, the only problem was she was dating my roomate at the time. We did get around that though . My DW says she knew it when she first met me. We both believe God brought us together. The circumstances around our meeting at that particular time in both of our lives.. It could be nothing else.

 

[mtblujeans]

Isn't the term "soulmate" just an idea? Or ideal? It is just wishful thinking.

 

[GoodFairies]

I don't believe in soulmates. The word makes me gag.

 

[kasar]

I think you can feel a real connection and attraction to someone but I don't know if I'd go as far as saying I believe in having a "soulmate". To me, the love of your life (what some would call soulmate) is a combination of luck in finding that person, true admiration and affection and lots of devotion.

So, yes. I think someone BECOMES a "soulmate". I have never felt that there are just soulmates out there looking for one another and can never be happy if they don't cross paths.

 

[greenyskp]

I dont believe in soulmates.


Someone will never BECOME my soulmate. And I doubt I'll ever find someone who can keep my attention long enough to live up to what I think Stephenie's soulmate should be. Worrying about soulmates and marriage and 'the one' is so dated. Theres a few quotes on soulmates from Sex and the City that I like...

Carrie: I'd like to think that people have more than one soulmate.
Samantha: I agree! I've had hundreds.
Carrie: Yeah! And you know what, if you miss one, along comes another one. Like cabs.

"Soulmate. Two little words, one big concept. A belief that someone, somewhere, is holding the key to your heart. And your dreamhouse. All you have to do is find them. So, where is this person? And if you love someone and it didn't work out, does that mean they weren't your soulmate? Were they just a runner-up contestant in this gameshow called happily ever after? And, as you move from agebox to agebox and the contestants get fewer and fewer, are your chances of finding your soulmate less and less?"

Makes you think....

 

[vettechick99]

I think the term "soulmate" is a cop out. If something goes wrong in your "soulmate" relationship, it just gives you the excuse, "hey, I guess he/she wasn't a soulmate afterall".

People also use fate and religion as a cop out. "Fate/God didn't want this to happen". Maybe. But maybe that's just life. Maybe I had something to do with the result. Explaining something away means you don't have any culpability in it. It's the easy way out. But I digress....

I think there are lots of people in this world I'd be perfectly happy with. Relationships are never perfect, but what is?

Oh wait, the perfect cheer!

 

[pw2pp]

I also don't believe in "soulmates".
I don't believe that there is just ONE person on this Earth that we are each meant to love, I believe there are MANY people who could be excellent matches for each of us. The key is to at least find one of them.

 

[Beauty]

Wow some of your responses make me sad. I have absolutely no doubt I have my ONE AND ONLY SOULMATE. We were married before he graduated High School, I was pregnant and we are still together. He touches me emotionally where no one else EVER could. We just click. There is nothing I want that he doesn't give me (I don't mean materialisticly). He is pretty darned close to perfect. We laugh constantly, cry together, talk for hours and hours. We do argue but its NEVER serious. We are asked all the time if we are newlyweds, we were even asked at church to join the new married couples class.........ummm we've been married 16 years!!!! There is not another person out there for me who I will EVER connect to like my DH. I'm not saying that if something happened to DH that I would never again marry or be happy but I would never have that connection, its simply not possible. John is my SOUL MATE PERIOD. Anyway I've been sappy but I just don't beleive in becoming a soul mate, you either are or you aren't in my opinion.

 

[disykat]

I think it's more likely you can become soulmates than instantly be soulmates - though I don't like the term either. I think a book that talks about continually working on deeping your relationships is probably a good thing though. I have never met anyone who didn't feel they could benefit from that.

 

[Beauty]

I guess so, I think back to when I first met John and I knew immediantly there was a connection. Even though we didn't date for a year after meeting we did immediantly become best friends. We could talk about anything together. We just had this connection that of course has grown stronger. I've never felt that kind of immediant connection to anyone else though.

 

[snoopy]

I absolutely believe in soulmates, but I don't think we are limited to just one. And I don't think the relationship has to be physically intimate in order for the people to be soulmates. I consider my best girlfriend every bit as much my soulmate as I do my husband. She instinctively knows what I'm thinking and vice versa. This is not something that we've acquired over the years, but was inate to our relationship and something we've shared from the beginning. I also think there are soulmates out there we don't even know....even though I'm happily married, I used to work with a man who I felt was my soulmate. We had a very strong connection, and even though the relationship would never become intimate (either physically or emotionally), I did feel that if our situations were different he could very well be the one.

As far as becoming soulmates, I think people who are destined for a connection can hone the relationship and make it better, but I don't think you can hone that relationship with someone who is not your soulmate. Does that make sense? You either have the connection or you don't.

 

[mickeysaver]

My partner is my soul mate. There was no doubt from the beginning that she was supposed to be my other half. After spending years with other folks that were just not the right fit for one reason or another, I can say that I was blessed when I found Gabby. We have been together for 6 years now and I still feel like it's just as special now as it was in the beginning. Luckily, she feels the same way. lol Maggie

 

[Aimee K]

Snoopy, I absolutley agree with what you wrote. I feel like the term soulmate is more about a connection with a person on a soul level, be that your spouse/ partner, your friend, your mother, or the Barista at Starbucks

 

[OceanAnnie]

I absolutely believe in soulmates, but I don't think we are limited to just one. And I don't think the relationship has to be physically intimate in order for the people to be soulmates. I consider my best girlfriend every bit as much my soulmate as I do my husband. She instinctively knows what I'm thinking and vice versa. This is not something that we've acquired over the years, but was inate to our relationship and something we've shared from the beginning. I also think there are soulmates out there we don't even know....even though I'm happily married, I used to work with a man who I felt was my soulmate. We had a very strong connection, and even though the relationship would never become intimate (either physically or emotionally), I did feel that if our situations were different he could very well be the one.

As far as becoming soulmates, I think people who are destined for a connection can hone the relationship and make it better, but I don't think you can hone that relationship with someone who is not your soulmate. Does that make sense? You either have the connection or you don't.

I agree with all that you said, snoopy.

I knew from the begining my Dh was my soulmate. Before we even started dating. It was a connection with a degree of acceptance on both of our parts that I had not experienced before dating.

I knew right away I would be best friends with a lady that was very different than me. I was just drawn to her. She was open, funny, and honest. I love her like a sister. I met her briefly before a class, found out we were taking a class together in England and we decided on the spot we'd room together and travel together for a month. We had a great time. We kept each other in stitches.

I have had a number of relationships like that in my life. People I have been drawn to and made lasting connections.

 

[mickey65]

I too totally believe in soulmates both on the intimate level and the emotional level. My ex-husband and I have always had an amazing connection (and still do) but after amrrying we realized that it was a different relationship than a husband/wife one, we connect on a much different level, but I still consider him one of my soulmates.