Can someone answer some divorce quesitons for me

[faithinkarma]

Originally posted by jrydberg


My main piece of advice is to keep any disagreements over the divorce between you and your soon to be ex. Don't get the kids involved in having to side with you or the ex.

Also, I'd talk to a friend or family member who you can trust to give you straight advice (not just what you want to hear) -- and take that advice in the spirit it was given. Going through a divorce can really skew your perspective on things, even in the best of circumstances.

And most important, think positive. Getting divorced is not the end of the world. It'll all work out eventually.

Best of luck.

Very good advice. Specially the part about being willing to listen to someone who has your best interests at heart. I was so accustomed to solving "his" problems for so many years that I went into autopilot trying to make the divorce easy for him. My family and my lawyer urged me to stop doing this. I was incapable of listening at that point. But I got lucky. "He" was so accustomed to me doing things to his benefit, that he over reached and got very grabby. And the judge came down on him so hard it even stunned me. He would have been ever so much better off had he taken all that I was offering him at the beginning of the proceedings. And now that the dust has settled and some time has passed, I am eternally grateful things did not go the way I was trying to make them go.

 

[DMickey28]

I have no advice about divorce, my parents are still married and I am getting married in october.

I have to second the advice of the Dr. Laura books. Both the 10 stupid things women/men do in relationships... but also her newest book.....The proper care and feeding of husbands... it works both ways, husband and wife. It really opened my eyes up to thing in the relationship that I didn't even know were bothering me....

Best wishes to you and remeber that the most important result of your marriage is and was your children.

 

[tinaluis]

I know it's been said here over and over again, but PLEASE try to remain civil, for your own well-being and the well-being of your children. Personally I haven't been through a divorce but have been watching an ugly one between my BIL and his wife. Now that the laywers have used up all available funds, they have both fired their lawyers and are going to try to sort things out themselves. I really wish they'd done this in the first place. Would you, perhaps, consider the Mediation route instead? I just read an article here in the paper on how many districts are expanding their Mediation programs and the Mediator's goal is to make both parties happy (or as happy as can be) with the settlement agreement and truly has your best interests at heart. Something to consider. Good luck to you and your family.