Can I Vent?!

[CinderellyCinderelly]

My mom (53), my dad (57), my little brother (11) and I (20) are all planning on going to WDW 3/21-3/27. My younger sister (16) is in high school and will be attending some sort of leadership conference in DC the week after Easter and leaves on Tuesday. My mother doesn't want to leave her alone in our house over Easter nor does my sister want to be alone. My sis also does not like flying so these are 2 extra flights she would need to go on, also does not want to fly alone. So, my mom said either she will not go to Disney to stay with my sister, or my sister will come to Disney and then fly our on Tuesday to DC. HOWEVER, she is "too cool" for Disney and does NOT like this idea AT ALL. She REFUSES to go to the parks, therefore I have been told to change all of my ADR's for the nights she will be there to restaurants NOT in the parks - where they are now. I am FURIOUS!!! What kinds of ADR's am I going to get at this point for SPRING BREAK/EASTER WEEK?!!? And she is just going to be crabby the whole time and put everyone else in a bad mood!!!!! Grrrrr. I haven't talked to her yet as my mom just told me this information a few moments ago and said my sister was so angry that she went right to bed. I can't decide if I should yell at her and tell her to suck it up, or tell her that I am totally excited she is coming (which would be hard since I am so upset!) My mom thinks if I tell her that I am excited she will be more likely to want to participate in what we are doing and go to the parks, etc. I just want to eat at the places that I wanted to and don't want to get all of these new ADR's for someone who doesn't even want to be there

 

[kaytieeldr]

Neither. After getting the 'vent' out of your system , I would tell Mom you're really happy that your sister was chosen for the leadership conference. I would then calmly point out that, given the time of year and the popularity of your current dining choices, that the reservations can't be changed.

If your conversation is still calm and mature at this point , you can try reasoning with your mom/parents that while your sixteen year old sister surely can't be left home alone, if she still refuses to go to the parks she CAN be left in the room alone. Worst case, your mom stays in the room/at the hotel with her - and they eat at the counter service restaurant.

 

[jlima]

She REFUSES to go to the parks, therefore I have been told to change all of my ADR's for the nights she will be there to restaurants NOT in the parks - where they are now.

Um; it sound like YOUR MOM needs to suck it up and tell your sister to knock it off and refuse to let her ruin the trip for everybody else.

 

[septbaby]

Um; it sound like YOUR MOM needs to suck it up and tell your sister to knock it off and refuse to let her ruin the trip for everybody else.

Hmm, sounds like the family has a princess who is more like the step sisters! Hang in there fellow big sis. Guess their is a bright side to only having little brothers! You can definitely vent on DIS.

 

[Maggi May]

I agree with the two prior posters that your sister's attitude needs an adjustment.

It sounds as if you've been the one to make all of the dining plans for this trip. This may be passive aggressive, but maybe you could just hand the dining information and WDW phone number over to your Mom and let her figure it out.

 

[PattnFmly]

I think your Mom needs to get some spine, tell your sis that the family plans are made, either get over it and go along with the plans, or sit in the room and sulk. Her choice. No way should previously made plans be changed for a whiny 16 year old. Been there, but not done that. My mom would have just banished me to the room, in no way would I have been allowed to upset the rest of the family's plans.

 

[NMAmy]

Let me start out by saying that I am the mom of a 17 yo dd so I've had a bit of recent experience of dealing with 16 yo's myself.

Your mom wants you to change your ADR's during one of the busiest times at WDW because a 16 yo is too cool for Disney? I would tell Mom that it's impossible to change the ADR's and Sis can join you all for a meal or stay in the room and pout on her own.

Sheesh, what a pain. I hope you have a great trip and are able to ignore your sister.

 

[DVC Jen]

I agree with everyone else. I am the mother of a 19 and 14 yr old DDs. Sounds like that little girl needs to realize she is not the center of the universe (message to your mother - you are NOT doing your 16 yr old DD any favors by allowing her to dictate your life).

Also - 16 yr olds can be tough. Hang in there and don't be surprised if she changes her mind when she gets there and decided maybe she isn't too cool for the parks.

 

[jenniferma]

I read your post and thought.. if she is THAT against Disney, could she fly back home and stay at a friend's home until she returns?

sorry about this for your sake-- I wouldn't change the plans either!
jennifer

 

[disnut8]

Why not give your sister your list of dining reservations that you've already made, point her to a site that has dining menus on it, give her the phone and have HER change everything? If she refuse, then have your mother do it. If she refuses, then you refuse to change the reservations yourself.

I have a brother-in-law who doesn't like people, doesn't like 95% of the food in the world and thinks Disney World is a waste of time. However, he does go on family trips (he's 46 so he's never changed) to Disney World. One time, our dinner was at Germany so he brought a book and sat in World Showcase for the afternoon until our dinnertime. He did what is known as COMPROMISE.

 

[MEM]

I agree as well with everyone - your Sister needs to be told "Honey, its not ALL about you!". I also don't get the "coolness" factor - most 'tweens and teens I know think WDW is "wicked awesome". I have DS13 and DD11 and their peers are quite envious of their visits to WDW.

I would be reluctant to let anyone mess with my ADRs - you may end up with nothing.

 

[william4192]

Since when do 16 years have a voice? I can understand if they are excited about going to take their (or any kids) thoughts into CONSIDERATION, but last time I checked the parents are not only the adult, but in charge. Which means, they get to make the decision. How about this: if she does not go and with the right attitude, she does not go to DC (and then follow through)!

I am not trying to be harsh or mean towards kids (as I am the biggest pushover ever for a well behaved child), but the reason she might be acting this way is b/c everyone bends to her will.

Now with that said, life comes full circle. One day she will get to make the decisions (pretty close in time actually).

 

[ms.yt]

I agree as well with everyone - your Sister needs to be told "Honey, its not ALL about you!". I also don't get the "coolness" factor - most 'tweens and teens I know think WDW is "wicked awesome". I have DS13 and DD11 and their peers are quite envious of their visits to WDW.

That's what I was thinking. I teach high school, and I've never heard a kid complain about going to WDW! Even the emo/goth kids love it!

 

[Booyakasha]

Unless she is paying for her own meal and her own trip to Disney than she is stuck dealing with your plans. She can always stay in the room and order room service. The behaviour she is displaying is completley anti-social and selfish. Although that is probably a definition for 16 year old girls.

B.

 

[sukhakuli]

I think your Mom needs to get some spine, tell your sis that the family plans are made, either get over it and go along with the plans, or sit in the room and sulk. Her choice. No way should previously made plans be changed for a whiny 16 year old. Been there, but not done that. My mom would have just banished me to the room, in no way would I have been allowed to upset the rest of the family's plans.

I agree with this. Your mom needs to just give her the schedule of events, and tell her she can either come along, or sit in the room alone. I have a feeling she will choose to come along. This way she will feel in control of the situation (which is really what all of this is about), and no one has to rearrange their life for her, either.

And a little tip about vacationing with family, which I have some experience with: make out a schedule that you think makes everyone happy, hand it out, and tell them that participation is optional. The last time I went with my parents (plus my husband and 2 kids) we had things we wanted to do, like mini golf at Fantasia Gardens, that they did not want to do. They napped at the hotel, and we met up later. Everyone is happy that way. I even do this with my dh. He wants to ride Mission Space, which I hate, and I like Ellens Energy Adventure (I know, I'm a nerd) which he hates, so he rides one, I ride the other, and we both have cell phones and meet up later. Obviously this is the exception to the rule and we vacation together most of the time, but you don't have to spend every waking minute glued to each other.

 

[Laurabearz]

Was your sister even included in any of the ADR's because you could have a hard time adding another person at that time of year too.

 

[CinderellyCinderelly]

Thanks for everyone's responses! It made me feel better just to vent! Now my mom feels terrible because she said she totally forgot that my sister was not leaving until Tuesday. I do NOT want my mom to feel bad about this, because my sister is the one being difficult! And no, she was not included in the ADR's but I figure adding one person will be easier than making new ressie's altogether. As of today my parents talked to her and told her that she is coming on the trip and flying from Orlando to DC when she needs to. But she is not happy about that. I guess at this point I need to get her excited about it, because I do want her there, just not if she is going to be crabby! I've always loved Disney but I have friends who go through that phase where they are too cool for Disney and think that Disney is "for babies." Oh well! It just stinks that she probably won't decide that she wants to go to dinner in the parks until we get there, at which point it will be too hard to change ADR's to add more people, or do you think they would be okay about it?

 

[noahdove]

I agree your sister needs an attitude adjustment...can't she just be happy at the happiest place on earth?

 

[auntie]

Let her stay at the hotel. She's old enough to hang out at the resort by herself if she's too "cool" to go to dinner in the parks. I'm not sure where you're staying but she can get a bite in the food court or hang by the pool. Do whatever it is she wants when the rest of the family is planing to dine. A little "alone time" might do her good. If she decides she wants to go with the family for dinner, then I'd just wing it and try to add her when you get there. I personally don't think you are going to find it all that easy to add an extra person at this point for the time period you are traveling. I mean you can try..but don't cancel the reservation you have. See if you can add one more..and if you can fine..but if you can't leave it the way it is, then throw yourself at their mercy when you arrive. Frankly..my daughter is 20...my son is 16, we LOVE Disney. Now there are a lot of places he doesn't want to go to with us..DISNEY isn't one of them! Our 27 year old son still loves to come to Disney with us! Good luck to you, I'm sure she'll be better once she's there. Don't let her ruin your planning..have a good time.

 

[apostolic4life]

Seems like little sister wanted to stay home without parental supervision and was trying every reason to convince your parents to let her........smells like she was possibly trying to plan something while the parents were gone. Am I reading more into it, or does anyone think the same???