Can I just vent real quickly?! *fume*

[RayaniFoxmur]

I know I'm totally bringing this on to myself... but I'm so sick of feeling like I'm failing. My boyfriend and I decided to go on the diet that caused me to lose 80 pounds before I got pregnant. He's doing SO well, he's lost about 10 pounds. I haven't lost a single pound. I'm not doing anything differently! In fact, right smack dab in the middle, I started having gall bladder problems that I had to get it taken out... and then the day I got out of the hospital, I found out I gained weight!! I'm really sick of this, I'm sick of being the fat girl walking down the street... but I can't get jumpstarted again and I'm really defeated about it. I was so dedicated for months when I lost the inital weight, even food journaled daily. Now... I can't even bother to open the program I had bought to do so. I have the motivation, I want to lose weight before our trip so I'm more comfortable in the rides and such. But I have not one ounce of drive. I feel defeated before I even start and it hurts and makes me angry! Where was that drive I had a year ago?! I was almost at my first major break!! And then I got pregnant and I had to stop the diet. Now grant you, I'm hovering right around my pre-pregnancy weight now, but inside I don't feel like it's good enough.

I'm just so mad, at my mind, at my body... at my health. And I just needed to vent really really badly.

Thanks for letting me!

 

[tinkersmama]

Congratulations to you for even starting. I have done the weight loss thing with a BF and my aunt has done it with her husband. For some reason, men always lose weight faster? I have no idea why.

But, on the upside, you have done it once, You CAN and WILL do it again. Which diet are you working on?

 

[RayaniFoxmur]

Congratulations to you for even starting. I have done the weight loss thing with a BF and my aunt has done it with her husband. For some reason, men always lose weight faster? I have no idea why.

But, on the upside, you have done it once, You CAN and WILL do it again. Which diet are you working on?

It's actually one that my doctor created for me. It's calorie controlled, 1200 - 1500 calories a day (though some days I do eat around 1000 just cause that's what I can eat) 3 full meals a day with snacks. I cut down red meat to minimums, eat mostly chicken and fish, and cut down on carbs. The program that I record my meals in breaks down my calories into carbs/protein/fat %'s, so I try to keep it to 50% carbs, 25% protein and 25% fat. (I use the buyable program off Fitday.com)

I drink lots of water and exercise when I can (I haven't been able to do much as of yet due to surgery and having a c-section August 30th).

I guess I'm just frustrated because the weight came off SO quickly last time and I was so organized. I'm embarassed to say, my top weight was 385. I'm currently 315 (though my scale's fighting with the number fluctuating between 312 and 322). I was so proud of myself too cause I was back in clothes I could buy easily and things... now after the baby I'm back at my prepregnancy weight and in the clothes I was in at my heaviest!! I CRIED when that happened. I never ever wanted to be in these jeans again, you know?

 

[hydster]

I hear ya sister!!! My dh and I went on Southbeach 2 years ago and he lost waaay more than I did and he ate more than me! Now we are going to the gym 4-5 times a week and I run 4 days and do strength and core training and he's still kicking my butt day in and day out and he doesn't run. He does the elliptical and stationary bike but he's still "winning" the weight battle. I finally gave up asking him and have since just concentrated on ME. Not on him but only on me. Men and women burn calories and pounds different. Their metabolism is usually higher than a womans. I've given up trying to stay with him in the weight department and am now focusing most of my energy on my BMI.

Someone just posted on another weight thread about a website called www.sparkpeople.com and that she'd lost 30 pounds since joining it so I'm going to give it a try. It has a wonderful food caloric counter on it and has tons of options. It gives you how many calories you should eat in a day and you just enter it in. I think it will be really easy to do and will only take a few days. Seriously go take a look. You may like it too!!

I know how you feel though! I have 3 bathing suit trips coming up and I'm so not in any shape to be in them!!! I will get there though....I will get there!!!

Try to just do at least a little a day with the program. Even if it's just the food journal and try not to compare with your dh! He didn't have a baby and he didn't have surgery. Tell him to not tell you how much he's lost for awhile. It may help you to not know where he stands. Focus on just some stuff for you! When you get feeling better from surgery do simple exercises you can do at home while the baby sleeps like the swiss ball or simple weights or even bands you can use to do strength training. Muscle burns more fat and will help lean you out. I know how you feel. It's so overwhelming when you've done it once and you don't feel you are doing it again. In 2003 I lost almost 30 pounds and looked and felt great. I'm doing almost exactly what I did then and I can't seem to lose much of anything. I am older and I did have a hysterectomy which my gyn told me may send me into early menopause but this is ridiculous!

Also lack of sleep can cause you to not lose weight, stress can cause your body to produce too much cortisol from the adrenal glands that goes right to your stomach and it hard to get off. There are lots of reasons why it hasn't worked as quickly yet. Try to stay positive and seriously that sparks website has awesome ideas and a lot of people just like us trying to get those pesky pounds off.

Hang in there! It will happen!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow!!!



Did you say you just had a baby about 30 days ago.

Your body is going thru a lot!!!
And so are your hormones and emotions!
And, stress and lack of sleep can probably make it HARD to lose weight.

I know bad it can feel when you work so hard to lose weight, and it just does not want to come off!!!

But I hope you won't let it get you down right now!!!
Maybe give yourself a little time

 

[NAB]

You just had a baby in August. I am I right in reading that. Give your self a break. Your body takes a good 6 weeks to repair itself after a c section. Plus with little sleep that you are probalby getting that doesn't help. Your homones are everywhere still I am sure. All this factors in. Start slow and don't be so hard on yourself. That's for you because I think you need it.

 

[RayaniFoxmur]

You just had a baby in August. I am I right in reading that. Give your self a break. Your body takes a good 6 weeks to repair itself after a c section. Plus with little sleep that you are probalby getting that doesn't help. Your homones are everywhere still I am sure. All this factors in. Start slow and don't be so hard on yourself. That's for you because I think you need it.

You are right in reading that! I had Alexandra on the 30th, so it hasn't even been a month yet. I know I'm impatient!

I did give her to my aunt and uncle for adoption, so she's not with me... but the post partum isn't much different... I got hit with the depression badly. My hormones are EVERYWHERE that's for sure.

I'm trying really hard not to be hard on myself, but sometimes I just can't help it. Especially with the trip looming 3 months away! I feel it breathing down my neck hehe.

I'm going to go to that website when I go into work tonight, take a look maybe even print out some of those menus... I'm hoping that will help. It's hard not to compare, especially when he and I are starting around the same weight. Arugh!

:hugs: back though!