Can I hold my 1 year old on my lap on a plane?

[stacy6552]

The facts remain that a child is safer in a carseat on a plane than on a lap. The American Acadamy of Pediatrics, the NTSB, the Flight Attendants Association and the FAA all reccommend that children fly restrained in seats. The only group that fights goverment mandates are the airlines that fear loosing money.

People over 2 are required to be restrained. A coffe pot is required to be restrained for crying out loud.

I question Jodifla's figures, but lets just say they are right. How dare she devalue those precious lives by saying that only they died so its not important.....

 

[jodifla]

I question Jodifla's figures, but lets just say they are right. How dare she devalue those precious lives by saying that only they died so its not important.....


http://www.cbc.ca/cp/business/050825/b0825104.html

Above is the story where I got my statistics from.

It's an incredibly cheap shot to say I devalue those who died in the accidents. I am talking about statistics and risks. Of course accidents take people's lives, and that is always tragic.

Let me try to get you to understand my point of view this way: If you tell me, that in the last 28 years, something has happened 9 times, among millions of opportunities (in this case, children flying), it is just not something I can get worked up over.

But I wouldn't have a pool in my Florida home when my son was young, because to me, the risk of drowning was too great. It's one of the top killers of young children in the state. To me, that statistical risk was just too great to take, even with precautions like pool alarms and gates. But I don't go around browbeating parents who have pools in their homes.

 

[stacy6552]

Adn see here i was thinking that my first priority as a parent was not to take ANY risk with their safety.

 

[LoveBuzz2]

Wow, I had no idea this was such a heated topic! It definitely gave me insight regarding the safety for my ds on the plane though. Thank you to everyone. I think I will opt for buying him a seat and taking his carseat. I would say though, it IS my first priority not to take risk with my child, however, putting him in the car each day to go to the store can put him at risk. I am just happy that we have safety measures we can use to help minimize the risk. Being an EMT for 8 years has opened my eyes a lot. We take risks walking out the door each day. That is not going to keep me holed up in my house though.

 

[Nancyg56]

While there is surprise turbulance that can catch you off guard, the pilots are able to warn you ahead of time before most turbulance. So, even if you take your daughter out of her seat for a while during the flight, it is safest to have the option to buckle her up when there is a warning.

The same goes for hard landings. Most of the time the pilots are aware of problems before they actually land and you will be warned to take precautions (been there before and I was so grateful my daughter was secure...it turned out to my an instrument problem so we landed without incidence). You would certainly be thankful at that point to be able to secure your baby as best you can.

Again, happy and safe travels whatever you decide.

Not always. I have been in an extremely hard landing where the pilot hit wind shear. I think that is what it is called when the wind lifts the plane back in the air during the landing process. We had no warning, and I am glad that I did not have anything or anyone in my lap. I will not preach to anyone on this subject, but will say that my DGD is a 30 pound 4 year old, and we are bringing her seat. She will stay buckled in it, as she does when she is traveling by car. Ultimately, these decisions are personal, and people can always dig up facts to back them up. In any case, I also wish safe and happy travels to the OP.

 

[mill4023]

Adn see here i was thinking that my first priority as a parent was not to take ANY risk with their safety.

I assume this means you've never put your child in a car, right?
Because if you have, you are taking a risk with their safety. And you are "devaluing" the lives of the thousands of children who've died in car accidents, even though they were in car seats.

The fact is that we all make choices that have risks.

If you are going to judge people based on how much of a risk they take with their child's safety, here is the correct order, from safest to most dangerous.

1. Stay in your house and never leave
2. Plane trip with restraint
3. Plane trip without restraint
4. Car trip with restraint
5. Car trip without restraint

Any of you who have done number 4(I'm betting that's 100% of you) really have no right to judge and criticize those who choose number 3.

 

[FSUGrad97]

Adn see here i was thinking that my first priority as a parent was not to take ANY risk with their safety.

AMEN!

 

[PatricenPete]

I have flown three times with DS (now 13 months) - once we purchased a seat for him and the other two times I held him on my lap.

On the 45 minutes flight from Newark to Boston, having him in my lap was a breeze. The flight was pretty empty and we got an entire row to ourselves.

On our trip to Disney in October, we purchased a seat for him and it was a lifesaver. It was DH and I and PJ. We did not bring a carseat and had the whole row to ourselves. DS sat in our laps during take off and landing and then sat in his seat for the remainder of the flight watching movies on his DVD player.

I flew down to FL with my mother and grandmother in November and again did not purchase a seat for DS. The flight was pretty empty and my mom, DS, and I got a row to ourselves and the flight went exactly as it did in October when we flew to Disney - it was a breeze. The flight on the way home was HELL. Somehow the airline screwed up all of our reservations and my mom and I ended up seperated, so I ended up sitting with a 24 pound 1 year old in a window seat with no leg room for three hours. It was HELL. H-E-L-L and as god as my witness I will NEVER fly without purchasing a seat for DS again.

 

[LoveBuzz2]

I assume this means you've never put your child in a car, right?
Because if you have, you are taking a risk with their safety. And you are "devaluing" the lives of the thousands of children who've died in car accidents, even though they were in car seats.

The fact is that we all make choices that have risks.

If you are going to judge people based on how much of a risk they take with their child's safety, here is the correct order, from safest to most dangerous.

1. Stay in your house and never leave
2. Plane trip with restraint
3. Plane trip without restraint
4. Car trip with restraint
5. Car trip without restraint

Any of you who have done number 4(I'm betting that's 100% of you) really have no right to judge and criticize those who choose number 3.

This was exactly the point I was trying to make. I think you must have explained better than I. LOL

 

[kidshop]

I assume this means you've never put your child in a car, right?
Because if you have, you are taking a risk with their safety. And you are "devaluing" the lives of the thousands of children who've died in car accidents, even though they were in car seats.

The fact is that we all make choices that have risks.

If you are going to judge people based on how much of a risk they take with their child's safety, here is the correct order, from safest to most dangerous.

1. Stay in your house and never leave
2. Plane trip with restraint
3. Plane trip without restraint
4. Car trip with restraint
5. Car trip without restraint

Any of you who have done number 4(I'm betting that's 100% of you) really have no right to judge and criticize those who choose number 3.

The logic is faulty. I think the goal would be to choose the safest option for the activity you are engaging in. The people who choose #5 are using the same logic as those who choose #3.

I bet you wear your seatbelt on the plane.

 

[TammyJ]

In the "olden days" (before carseat and seatbelt lawas) when I was a kid, we had a car with five seatbelts. That was not enough for our family of seven. My mom decided that rather than choose which ones of us should wear a seatbelt, none of us did. She didn't want to have to "choose" which of her kids she valued more.

I don't know what that means to any of you, it was just something I remembered reading these posts.

 

[rgribik]

After watching this thread for awhile i'll jump in with this: I agree with jodifla, but what happens on these boards is that a simple question turns into a parenting debate. Yes, you can hold a child on your lap(I've done it many times) period! Is it right for you? Only you can say. What I don't want to have implied is that I don't love my kids as much as someone else because I choose to hold them, or that I don't deserve to go somewhere if I can't buy the extra seat.(by the way we are a family of 7-- the airlines love us ) I may not parent the same way as someone else, but I love my 5 kids. I might not think some choices that others make are right for their kids, but unless that was the question asked, we need to stick with the subject. People want to put their big 4& 5 yr olds on rides that I don't approve of, people keep rotties in their homes with small kids, let them run around by themselves, the list goes on, but I don't tell them that I love my kids more because I don't do those things. This subject about lap children should be closed on these boards.

 

[grlpwrd]

The logic is faulty. I think the goal would be to choose the safest option for the activity you are engaging in. The people who choose #5 are using the same logic as those who choose #3.

I bet you wear your seatbelt on the plane.

mill4023, you're an engineer, right?

You can try to try to make a logical argument, but surely you know you simply can't restrain a child in your arms without adequate equipment and you cannot stop an unrestrained child from being a trajectory when (s)he is a lap child.

My dh has been an engineer for 16 years and he's worked for Boeing and automotive companies using CATIA and SolidWorks. He and I discuss physics and you simply can't stop a trajectory.

That is key to this issue - not about good parent/bad parent or comparing different risks in our lives. We are talking about an unrestrained child in an airplane and what the experts recommend.

 

[GatorGal]

I'm sure some people think this thread is a dead horse that' been severly beaten, but IMHO, the longer it stays active, more people will read it and, hopefully, reconsider not buying a seat for their infant or small child.

I believe it was Tblwriter/Tracy that pointed out that some people equate can with safe; you can fly with your child on your lap, therefore, it's safe. Why would they ask if lap children were allowed on planes if they already thought it was unsafe and were unwilling to take such a risk? What the advocates of purchasing seats for children are trying to point out is that this isn't as safe as purchasing a seat and strapping the child into an FAA approved restraint. We're just trying to point out some facts (physics mostly) so the parents can make an informed decision. It's a choice the parent must make, just like whether or not to get a flu shot.

 

[jodifla]

I'm sure some people think this thread is a dead horse that' been severly beaten, but IMHO, the longer it stays active, more people will read it and, hopefully, reconsider not buying a seat for their infant or small child.

I believe it was Tblwriter/Tracy that pointed out that some people equate can with safe; you can fly with your child on your lap, therefore, it's safe. Why would they ask if lap children were allowed on planes if they already thought it was unsafe and were unwilling to take such a risk? What the advocates of purchasing seats for children are trying to point out is that this isn't as safe as purchasing a seat and strapping the child into an FAA approved restraint. We're just trying to point out some facts (physics mostly) so the parents can make an informed decision. It's a choice the parent must make, just like whether or not to get a flu shot.

True, but verbally beating people up who make different choices than you doesn't really help. It just makes them check out of the argument, or avoid the thread altogether and do what they like.

OP never came back to this thread, probably because it got so nasty when someone like me looked at the information and have the gall to come to a different conclusion than you and tlbwriter.

By all means, continue to be an advocate for carseats on airplanes, but I'd skip calling those of us who choose otherwise names. I don't think it advances your cause very much.

Perhaps its just the crowd I run with, but none of my friends bought seats for their kids when they were under 2. One even stretched it until their son was over 2 and got away with it. And all these folks are informed, college-educated people, considered great parents. So other people can have different points of view than you, and still be worthwhile human beings.

 

[mill4023]

mill4023, you're an engineer, right?

You can try to try to make a logical argument, but surely you know you simply can't restrain a child in your arms without adequate equipment and you cannot stop an unrestrained child from being a trajectory when (s)he is a lap child.

My dh has been an engineer for 16 years and he's worked for Boeing and automotive companies using CATIA and SolidWorks. He and I discuss physics and you simply can't stop a trajectory.

That is key to this issue - not about good parent/bad parent or [BOLD]comparing different risks in our lives. We are talking about an unrestrained child in an airplane and what the experts recommend.[/BOLD]

My job title has engineer in it, but I'm just a software engineer, not a real one.
Ask your dh about the physics of a semi truck crossing the center line and crashing head on into a car while both are doing 65 mph. Ask him how much force is going to be put on a child in a restraint.
Does that mean you should never drive anywhere?

Comparing different risks is EXACTLY what this thread is about. It is not about physics, it is about statistical probabilities.

It's true that the experts recommend having a child in a restraint while flying. Clearly it is "safer" than having them unrestrained.
But the experts also decided not to make this a requirement because they know that the risk of a child dying is FAR HIGHER if parents choose to drive to their destination instead of flying.

There is nothing faulty in my logic. If you are going to scold parents for choosing not to buy a seat to save money, it is hypocritical to not also scold parents for choosing to drive to save money.

 

[GatorGal]

but I'd skip calling those of us who choose otherwise names.

I reread my posts and could not find any name calling that you refer to.

 

[TammyJ]

Ok, if it's all about flying being safer than driving...why can't I hold my 5 year old in my lap? Trust me, that would be much more comfortable than holding my toddler. She would sit realitively still and read books. My toddler would wiggle all over the place. Also, if my husband and I fly together can I sit on his lap? He wouldn't mind...

 

[Mom21]

Just a personal perspective. I was an air traffic controller for about 13 years. I am now retired medically. Many years ago before I had my now 8yo dd, I was working a relatively quiet sector. Only a few planes, no weather reported, just an easy morning. I had 2 planes head on but separated by 1000 ft (standard separation). As per regulations I called traffic to each pilot just so they could be on the lookout, just a precautionary measure, standard ATC. They were within 5 miles of each other and suddenly the higher aircraft was showing 800 feet below assigned altitude. The planes immediately begin flashing on my scope as they were now less than standard. I called the plane and the pilot immediately climbed. Upon questioning he stated they had hit a sudden pocket of severe turbulence. Keep in mind no turbulence reported in the air all morning. No biggie I think. Well less than 30 seconds later the pilot with a very shaky voice came on requesting emergency landing at the closest airport. A baby on board had been thrown and was at that instant receiving CPR from the attendents and had a bad head injury. It took me a long time to get over working that plane and I will always remember that pilot with tears in his voice trying to get it on the ground. I never was able to find out what happened to the baby. Needless to say my dd has never flown without a seat. Easy to say well it was only one baby, but when it is your baby........

 

[Nancyg56]

Easy to say well it was only one baby, but when it is your baby........

My thoughts exactly. I don't feel it is my place to lecture other parents, but try to do what feels right for me. When we hit that wind shear on our landing, I never could have held onto my purse, never mind my child.