Cam's New Lease on Life Journal (comments welcome!)

Hello again, Cam. GREAT job on the race report! I love all the details...and it sounds like you all had an AWESOME time! Congrats on finishing the race, even in pain. You're such a trooper!!

Thanks again for sharing...and I know you'll get your weight back down. YOU CAN DO IT! :yay:
 
Thank you so much, Jamie, Kim, Shannon and Amy! I really appreciate the support, everyone!

I did a lousy job of staying on plan this weekend, especially with an evening at a dinner theatre (buffet) and then eating too much dinner and dessert on Mother's Day. I think I was self-medicating again with the pain of being without my Mom on Mother's Day -- I think I was numb last year and this was seemed like the first without her. Fortunately, after a trip to the cemetary, we spent the day prom dress shopping and DD found a gorgeous dress that made her look like a princess. That was fun!

I did a trip report on the Minnie that is all pictures, in case anyone wants to see:
Cam's pictorial report of Minnie Weekend
 
Hi Cam!

I loved reading your trip report! :thumbsup2 I loved the picture report too! I am so very proud of you! :hug: You set a goal for yourself and you went out and accomplished that goal! :cheer2: You can do ANYTHING that you set your mind to, Cam! ::yes::

I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday, but I want you to know that I was thinking about you on Mother's Day........ :hug: If you need to talk, your WISH buddies are here for you, Cam. :grouphug:

I hope you have a great week ahead! :sunny:
 
Cam, those are great pics! i really enjoyed looking at them!
Hang in there, im doing the 100 day challenge with you!
 

Hi Cam,

You are entitled to splurge a little. I am sorry Mother's Day was tough for you, sometimes holidays are just so hard! Loved your pictures and again congrats on your accomplishment at WDW!

Amy
 
Hi CAm, I really enjoyed your pictures from the Minnie. You look Fabulous! Don't feel so bad about Mother's Day as I did not do well either. You will get back on track. Just let it go.

Have a Great Day!
Shannon
 
Thank you so much, Tracy, Shannon, Amy and Jen. I really appreciate the support. :grouphug:

Well, it is thanks to my WISH buddies that I started getting back on track yesterday. I didn't do too badly on food until about 9:30 last night when I decided I "needed" to finish the hummus both to get rid of the temptation and to keep it from spoiling. I know that rationale stinks, but I am over it now and the hummus is gone. The pretzel crisps are going back in the bar closet, not to present a temptation every time I am near the snack closet.

Food yesterday:
B: 2 lite english muffins w/ 4 slices turkey bacon & 1 slice ff cheese; coffee w/ff creamer (6)
L: green salad w/grilled chicken; broccoli (3)
S: all bran oat & honey bar (2)
D: LC peanut chicken over broccoli (6); ww ice cream cone (2)
S: hummus on pretzel crisps (8)

I also went to the gym for the first time in way too long. I hadn't done any formal exercise since the minnie last sunday, and 8 days was a bit too much rest. As I was working out, I thought a lot about how much I enjoy it, and tried to park in my mind the feeling of contentment and satisfaction that I feel when I am at the gym or doing a long walk/jog training session outside. I am hoping that I can call that memory up every time I am debating whether to pack my clothes for the gym or whether to change my clothes to go to the gym or whether to drive past the exit for the gym and head right home. It is so hard to remain motivated, but I think the more times I make the right decision, the more it will become a part of my routine and not such a hard decision.

Food today:
B: grilled chicken on lite english muffin; coffee w/sugar free creamer (4)
L: green salad w/grilled chicken (3); sugar snap peas (1)

WW weigh in is tonight. I took a pass last week because of my indulgences in WDW over the Minnie weekend. No avoiding the scale tonight, but as I just told my colleague who is going to meetings with me -- even if the scale is up, it provides a baseline for me going into this next week, so that I can see next Tuesday how I did between now and then. Also, I have to remind myself that the number on the scale is not the only indicator of success or failure. Even though I feel very bloated today (too much broccoli yesterday?), my rings are loose. As long as my clothes fit or feel loose, I have to remind myself that I am making progress.

I didn't get anywhere near the goal I'd set for the Minnie. That was disappointing and I am trying not to think of it as a failure, but merely a delay. I am working toward a new goal before the Disneyland half marathon. I think it is attainable. I have 4 months to get there. I wish I were one of those people who can set a goal of 8-10 pounds a month, but realistically, the most I can expect to lose without setting myself up for HUGE disappointment (and backsliding) is 4-5 pounds a month. For some reason, my body really loves the weight range I am in now. The fact is that I have mastered eating to maintain in this weight range, and I haven't yet made any sacrifices or real changes to my eating patterns to permit a huge strides on the scale. I think I'll have to get to a point where losing is the most important thing to me and I am willing to make whatever sacrifices I have to make to get there. I am obviously not at that point. Sometimes, we have to admit to ourselves that our status is the result of our efforts. If I were eating a really low calorie diet and not losing, I'd be worried. But I look at my food lists for each day and realize that I am still eating a good amount of food. As long as I want to eat real food in real quantities and not sacrifice, I have to accept that the scale isn't going to suddenly go into a downward spin. And to be able to see any progress at all when I haven't been adhering to a diligent exercise plan is very reassuring.

I'm not sure where this all puts me. I guess it just reminds me that I can't be bummed out by the slow progress when my efforts have not been tremendous. But I am also not going to beat myself up for maintaining when just that is still an accomplishment for someone like me.

I think, based on my experience, that I know this much -- if I were to get my weight to where I really, really want to be (about 37 more pounds), I'd have to work my butt off to stay there. I couldn't eat the way I do now. I'd gain it all back. I have to gradually change my eating patterns and exercise patterns, not only to get me to the ultimate goal (however slowly), but also to adopt a lifestyle that will sustain me at that weight for the long term (kind of like how my current lifestyle would allow me to maintain at this weight range). The reality is that I don't want to lose the weight and then gain it right back, which I would if I lost it and then went through everyday life with the habits in place that I have now.
 
Hi cam-
good for you for getting back on track! its always harder after you have gone out of town (i think so at least)
How did your weigh in go?
Keep it up, you will get to your goal eventually--just takes time..i know you can do it!
 
Hi Cam,

Great job getting back on track! :thumbsup2

You know... I completely understand what you mean about the weight loss thing. I've also realized that if I don't make major changes in my diet, I won't lose as much weight as I want to. With that having been said, I also realize that if I try to make major, sweeping changes instead of gentle, gradual ones, I will probably "rebel" and end up on a major food binge. :( I think the keys are to take this journey in baby steps and to celebrate each victory, large or small. :goodvibes

Cam, when I think back to all that you have accomplished in the past couple of years, you have a lot to celebrate! :cheer2: You have completed half marathons, you have lost weight, you have been exercising regularly, and you have been making better food choices. All of those things add up to a healthier you and I am so very, very proud of you, Cam! :hug: You are already on the road of success and I know that you will continue on this journey! :cheer2: Just remember, your WISH friends are on that road cheering you on every step of the way! :cheer2: You CAN do this, Cam! ::yes:: I just KNOW you CAN! :cheer2:

Have a wonderful day today and be sure to celebrate you and all that you have accomplished! :goodvibes
 
Hi Cam, Wow, I am so impressed that you are going to do the full marathon. Good for you!! :Pinkbounc I think it is really great how you give yourself regular goals. That's what I have in mind for myself, it's just putting it into action. How is your DD doing? You are a real inspiration to me-Thank you. :thumbsup2

Have a Super Weekend!
Shannon :wave2:
 
Hi Cam,

I am sorry that mother's day this year was tough :grouphug:

Good for you for getting back on track...I knew you could...you always do! You have a good mind set for not making the goal for the minnie...you didn't fail....you will make that goal..it will just take a little more time....never think of it as a failure....

I know you will be able to make your goal for the Disneyland Marathon.... You can do it!!!

Keep up the great work and have a great weekend!!
 
just stopping by to say hi cam..you are doing great on the 100 day challenge!
hope everything is going well my friend!
 
Hi Cam,

Hope all is well...... :grouphug:

Any plans for the holiday weekend? Whatever you have planned, hope you have a great time!!!
 
Hi Cam~

How are you doing my friend? I hope this message finds you doing well. :goodvibes Be sure and take good care of you, okay? :grouphug:
 
hope yo uare okay cam!
i know you said you were busy with prom and graduation coming up! hang in there and check in when you can!
 
Wow, I cannot believe it has been so long since I actually journalled here. Thank you Jamie and Shannon and Jen and Tracy for not forgetting me and for being here, providing support and encouragement, even when I wasn't posting.

No, I didn't drop off the face of the earth, and fortunately, I have been posting elsewhere on the WISH boards. It was insanely busy working on after-prom, planning graduation weekend and preparing for special olympics summer games, which was this weekend. So, it has been a lot of fun, but I definitely need to get back here and start posting more regularly.

The biggest problem is that I keep getting a "server busy" message :badpc: and therefore, post to the threads that I am trying to keep up instead of trying to post here over and over again. It is really frustrating, too, to lose a post that you think posted because the server was busy. UGH!

So, I am going to go back and "capture" a bunch of my recent posts to bring my journal up to date.

This is my post on 5/16 after the first day of my latest 100-day challenge:
keenercam on 5/16 said:
I made it just fine. I journaled every single bite I ate. I ate a couple of extra points, but had earned 5 activity points at the gym, so I didn't even need to use all of them. I also had at least 75 oz water. I may try to get that up to about 90-100 oz a day, since I know there are so many benefits to water. I am going to try to avoid coffee after the morning, and since I really don't enjoy it, I'll avoid diet soda with lunch as much as possible.

Here is my post from 5/20, the night before DH's first full marathon:
keenercam on 5/20 said:
I did pretty well last night with a SBD turkey wrap and light popcorn and baked pretzel crisps. Today was PF Changs. We shared chicken lettuce wraps, spicy eggplant and spinanch & garlic. Not too bad. Tonight was red lobster for DH's carb load (everyplace other than red lobster was packed!). We shared shrimp cocktail and lobster pizza and then I had a 1/2 serving of the roasted tilapia and an extra helping of veggies. I also had my tossed salad without dressing. All in all, not bad. So, I am 6/100.

And a re-cap of marathon day, as told the day after:
keenercam on 5/22 said:
Yesterday wasn't too bad since we spent most of the day outside at DH's marathon. I only had bites of DS's fries for lunch since they had no good menu choices -- everything was going in the fryer. ICK! Olive Garden for dinner and I thought I made a great choice, but it turns out the shrimp primavera was 15 points! How in the world could that be? Wish I'd remembered to ask for whole wheat pasta since it would have been a good choice and I love it. Only ate 1/2 breadstick and had salad without dressing, which I actually enjoy.

However, dinner was over by about 3 and I continued to snack most of the evening. Still ate weight watchers snacks, baked pretzel crisps, a weight watchers candy, fat free chips, and a 100 calorie pack of ritz mix. UGH! It could have been chocolate or ice cream or doritos or whatever, so while I am beating myself up, I am not beating myself to a pulp!

I also earned MANY APs yesterday for walking 3 miles on DH's marathon course and to the finish and then walking back and forth to various locations where we could cheer him on. We were outside from 6 am until 12:30 and all of that time I was on my feet standing, high-fiving the marathoners, cheering or walking. It was a lot of fun. I have no voice (and have to be in court this morning -- that will be fun!).

A confession:
keenercam on 5/23 said:
I had a very rough night last night. DB and his family came over and brought 4 LARGE pizzas for 8 people, including one he had "specially made" for me -- plain pizza dough with tons of spinach and broccoli and topped with "plops" of ricotta cheese. I ate 2 whole pieces minus a lot of the ricotta. I have no idea how to count this but charged myself 7 pts/slice, which is probably high. I also had about 1/3 piece of cheesesteak pizza that DS didn't want, plus some cheese and some crackers and chips. I used up every last FP I had for the week except for .5. How pathetic is that? Today is WI, so I am still cheat-free, but I am disappointed in myself for not handling the situation with more discipline.

BTW, I KNOW you guys will understand this very funny story: DB and his family left early enough that DH and I could have still made the 8:45 showing of DaVinci Code, which we had planned to see. However, by that point, I had gone so far over on my daily points, that I told him I didnt' want to go to the movies. The real reason? I wanted movie popcorn (no butter) and knew I couldn't "afford" it, points-wise. So, rather than going and being tempted and surely failing, I went to bed with a book. Pathetic, right?

My "when I plan to get on track" post:
keenercam on 5/23 said:
Thanks to everyone who asked about my hip. Sadly, it is not better and I know exactly what the problem is and how to prevent further injury. I just haven’t been disciplined enough about stretching it out. The inflamed sacroiliac joint I suffered last summer made a brief re-appearance this week, but lying on the floor with my feet up on the bed as frequently as possible is helping stretch it out.

I am embarrassed to say I have not had time to train at all. More truthfully, I have not “made time” to train at all. DD17 graduates June 4 and we’ll have a houseful of people for the weekend. Prom is next Thursday. Many band programs, choir programs, and awards programs and other commitments are cutting into my evenings which I have come to count on for gym time. My current objective is to get through Saturday’s 5 mile race without too much pain or embarrassment and then to start training for the DL ½ right after Special Olympics is over on 6/9-10.
 
Here is how I was doing on 5/25
keenercam on 5/25 said:
I had a seminar today, and rather than eat lunch at a restaurant, I packed a lite lunch and ate in my car while I read a book and listened to the EPCOT Millenium CD. I also returned calls for work and went through my emails with my secretary, but the point is I didn't cheat. AND, they had my very favorite -- butterscotch pecan scones -- at the seminar this morning and I just had a coffee and water.

I had a very exciting non-scale victory today when I guy I knew 16 years ago came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder and said "Gosh, you look great, C------, you really do." Let me tell you, any thought I had of eating a scone went right out the window! : I actually wrote the quote in my journal for today. That is how good it made me feel.

Okay, off to home for a quick dinner before DD17's senior academic awards program. I am thrilled to report that the committee I was supposed to work with tonight on after-prom decorations will go on without me. Not a SINGLE one of those other moms has a student receiving an award tonight. It almost made my heart sing to tell them I had to stand them up tonight. I'm a meanie, aren't I? I am so outrageously proud of my daughter.

Here I was on 5/26 nervous about a 5 mile race scheduled for 5/27:
keenercam on 5/26 said:
I am hoping I will actually have something good to report after the Spring Lake 5 tomorrow. I have done nothing in more than a week just due to schedule and exhaustion, and quite frankly, I had hoped my sheer laziness would at least result in improvement in my hamstring/hip. Of course, if I'd been doing all the things I should have been doing -- anti-inflammatories every day 2x, cool baths, stretching multiple times per day -- I am sure I would have seen improvement. But I didn't even make time to do that. I'll certainly suffer for it tomorrow, but I'll be thrilled to finish.

keenercam on 5/28 said:
Well, guys, I must confess that I haven't yet figured out if I blew this challenge yesterday. I had a 5 mile race and we walked an additional 3.5 miles to and from our car and the start line, on the boardwalk, and then from the finish to our car. But I was voracious the rest of the day and ate too much. I am going to journal it all and figure out if I used up all my FPs for the week or if I went over. I hope to be on track with 13 days done -- IF I didn't blow it.

I'll update everyone's numbers, add our two new buddies and come back later to fix my number or confess my transgressions!

ETA: Okay, I just journaled all my food and it looks like I went over by 24 points (OUCH!) but I earned 8 APs at my race and with all the additional walking. So, I didn't even use all my FPs for the week. Thank God, since we are socializing again today and tomorrow, both days in situations where I have no control over the menu.

I finally wrote a race report on the 5/27 5 miler:
keenercam on 5/31 said:
Hi, guys! Another drive-by posting here.
First, let me apologize. Life is crazy with work commitments, working on the after prom committee, planning for graduation weekend, dealing with DD17's drama revolving around breaking up with her boyfriend, prom tomorrow night, her friend arriving from Texas Friday, graduation this Sunday, etc., etc., etc.

The 5 miler Saturday was more onerous than I'd expected. The sun was blazing hot. The course is beautiful and the residents were out in front of their houses, encouraging participants. Many people had their hoses out and would spray you if you wanted. Also, the fire company had 2 pumpers out and were spraying water on the course.

The really odd thing was that by the time the walkers at my pace approached any water station, it was broken down from 6 or 8 tables total to one table on each side and you had to wade through many, many plastic cups to get to the very last tables to get water. It seems a better idea would have been to leave the earliest water tables set up at each water stop and clean up the others. Also, if you are going to rake up the plastic cups, do it from the middle of the course out, not the outside. Just a few observations.

Overall, it was extremely enjoyable. My gun time showed a 15:30 pace, but my garmin time was a very solid 15:15 pace. Unfortunately, at the finish, they were collecting bib stips by 3 different people with absolutely no precision on timing or order. So, I was really glad to have my Garmin to give me an accurate read.

I regret that I hadn't trained to do intervals for this race. I just hadn't put the steps in ahead of time, so I am grateful to have maintained the pace even in my unprepared state.

I learned a couple of things from this race.
What I did right:
1. Took aleve beforehand for my hip and stretched a lot, and it absolutely unequivocally made all the difference in the world. No noticeable pain at all.
2. Wore a visor. Sun was wicked, so having that shade my face a bit was a huge help.

What I would do differently:
1. We walked about 3 miles before the race because our car was parked so far away and because I wanted to walk the boardwalk. It was good to warm up, but I might have been a tad faster if I hadn't 'warmed up' so much.
2. Wicking material is critical in the heat. I wore a pair of wicking capris (not a bad choice, though shorts might have been better), but my shirt was cotton. Now I know.
3. I would have worn my hip pack to carry a camera and take pix along the course and to carry a water/gatorade bottle. The gatorade would have helped. And I am much better at drinking from a water bottle than I am drinking from a cup!

Finally -- my goal was to not finish last. And if I was next to last, I didn't want the person behind me to be someone on crutches!

Overall, for women, I placed 2761/3056.

I had told my best friend that, based on last year's results, there should be about 300 people behind me. There were, in fact, 295 women PLUS however many men behind me. So, goal met. Lessons learned. On to training next week for the Disneyland Half. EEK!!!!

Love you guys and miss you all terribly. Will be back to catch up as soon as we survive at least the first wave of drama around here!

keenercam on 6/6 said:
Hi, everyone! So glad to hear that you are all doing so well! As I expected, I am in a position where I cannot say that any of the last 5 days were cheat-free. On Thursday, I did well with a lean cuisine pizza for dinner instead of the pizza I ordered for the prom goers. Then, I went to DS's boy scout court of honor and end of year picnic and did pretty well with food choice (even though I ate krimpets instead of a cheeseburger or hot dog!). But then I worked on after prom until after midnight and was back at the school at 3 am to clean up, and I did eat some pizza and some pretzels. Decided that since that happened after midnight, I'd count the points toward Friday, so that Thursday could count as cheat free.

Friday wasn't too bad until we went on a dinner cruise and I ate smart choices, but too much. Saturday was a lot of running around and culminated in dinner at our favorite nice restaurant with my in-law's and DD's friend who came in from Texas on Friday. We didn't eat dessert at the restaurant but celebrated DFIL's birthday with cake and pie when we got home. UGH!! Sunday was graduation and wayyyy too much food at my house afterwards. Yesterday all I had was a bagel with cheese and by the time we got to dinner I was starving. We ordered nachos and an appetizer sampler for the table and I didn't order anything else. I stuck with water and didn't eat when I got home last night. So, yesterday was probably within points, but I am going to write off Friday-Monday. Bummer. So, I am at 18 days as of 6/1 and am on track again starting today. Of course, it helps that I have no appetite at all and haven't wanted breakfast or lunch. I am planning on tomorrow being 20% for me.

Sorry, guys. Hope I haven't let you down. I will get everyone else updated. I am so proud of all of you. Looking forward to following your examples and getting firmly back on track!

Oh, and here are a couple pix from DD17's prom and graduation:

eeb58275.jpg


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The medallions around her neck are academic achievement awards. :thumbsup2

BTW, all my efforts to update have been thwarted by "server too busy" messages. Are you guys as frustrated as I have been? :confused3
 












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