OP, I think your only mistake was posting this on this particular board. If I was paying 6K for camp, I don't think it would be too much to ask to get more than 1 shirt (although I do laundry every single day, so even with sports, this is never an issue for me). I can't afford that much for camp, but I'd love to have an opportunity like that for my kids. Luckily, my kids have friends who are around in the summer, but many people in my town have shore homes, and the population of children definitely dwindles. Sometimes I complain or vent about issues that aren't serious at all, even though my children are healthy, my husband has a job, and we have a roof over our heads. Some people are always going to be better off, and worse off.
Camp Vent!!
- Thread starter JoiseyMom
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momtoBrandon&Jacob
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Yeah, like your house getting foreclosed on, needing food stamps b/c you've been out of work for months, or declaring bankrupcy when your medical expenses become unmanageable.
Sorry, can't.quite.muster.the.compassion.
Yes, I'm being snarky, but this thread is embarrassing and a bit insulting to those on this board with real money problems.
I agree. This entire thread is ridiculous. And frankly if this woman can afford a $6K camp then surely she can afford to buy a couple extra freaking shirts?!
princessmom29
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I find it sad that there are children out there that would go stir crazy with riding bikes, playing with friends, reading, etc. during the summer
My children wake up, eat breakfast and head to the playground with their bikes and meet up with gobs of friends. They come home sweaty and happy. We then head to the community pool--where they meet up with a whole new set of friends
As for reading, ahhhh....I love to see them drag themselves out of the pool, and lay on their towels with their read-of-the-week
So "just being home" is what you make of it
Great posts!!! We tried to make our camp as close to a real summer vacation as possible. The kids could get together and decide if they wanted to play kickball or volleybal, or just read or watch a movie, with a little guidance from us of course! We had them choose both active and not so active things each day. We went swimming 3 days a week in the morinig and trips were on fridays and most of the time we tok them to a local lake for a swim and a picnic. The op is just never going to get that kids don't need and are not entitled to all this stuff in order to have a decent summer! And, by the way op, I knew that the PP was a teen from her phrasing, vocab, and reasoning before I ever saw here age. I teach high school and she reasons and expresses her opinion like a typical teen. Hence my commet about her age. It was NOT a well thought out adult response, and it read just like some of the things my sophmores turn in.
kevschickee
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I find it sad that there are children out there that would go stir crazy with riding bikes, playing with friends, reading, etc. during the summer
My children wake up, eat breakfast and head to the playground with their bikes and meet up with gobs of friends. They come home sweaty and happy. We then head to the community pool--where they meet up with a whole new set of friends
As for reading, ahhhh....I love to see them drag themselves out of the pool, and lay on their towels with their read-of-the-week
So "just being home" is what you make of it
This sounds great to me
disneyjunkie
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Why can't you just accept the fact that things are not the same all over the country? What is normal in one area, will not work in another. It isn't a matter of right or wrong. It boils down to what is the norm for that community and what the families wants/expects.
In my community, an agency's summer camp is a small portion of their youth programing. To say that they don't want to deal with the kids is a joke.
The camp I posted about has been around since the early 70s. The agency runs a summer camp, and after school programs for 1st-12th graders. The after school kids also go on a ton of trips during the school year.
They have the typical after-school programing for elementary and middle school kids. They offer career explorations, SAT prep and college prep classes for high school kids.
The school year trips include
Broadway plays
performances at Lincoln Center (Alvin Ailey is a huge hit each year)
Circuses (Ringling brothers, UniverSoul, Big Apple)
Sporting events(Yankees, Mets, Knicks)
Weekend Ski trip
Spring break College Tour (The high school kids visit HBCUs in DC, Delaware, Virginia and North Carolina)
Agencies that do not care about or want to bothered with the kids would not put forth the time and effort it takes to run these programs year after year.
disneyjunkie
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I find it sad that there are children out there that would go stir crazy with riding bikes, playing with friends, reading, etc. during the summer
My children wake up, eat breakfast and head to the playground with their bikes and meet up with gobs of friends. They come home sweaty and happy. We then head to the community pool--where they meet up with a whole new set of friends
As for reading, ahhhh....I love to see them drag themselves out of the pool, and lay on their towels with their read-of-the-week
So "just being home" is what you make of it
Growing up we did both.
We would spend the day at camp. Head home about 4-5. Shower, eat dinner, then head out and run around with friends (riding bikes, jumping double dutch, skating, playing stick ball in the street, dancing or just hanging out on the stoop until 10:00)
During the day we hung out with our camp friends. Evenings and weekends we hung out with our friends on the block.
JoiseyMom
<font color=orange>Have you had your SPANX today??
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I find it sad that there are children out there that would go stir crazy with riding bikes, playing with friends, reading, etc. during the summer
My children wake up, eat breakfast and head to the playground with their bikes and meet up with gobs of friends. They come home sweaty and happy. We then head to the community pool--where they meet up with a whole new set of friends
As for reading, ahhhh....I love to see them drag themselves out of the pool, and lay on their towels with their read-of-the-week
So "just being home" is what you make of it
It's great if you live in that type of community. There is no way in HECK I would let my kids ride their bikes off my street! Let alone to the nearest park, it isn't safe. No sidewalks and too many cars. Plus when they get to the parks, there will be no one there, since the majority of the kids are on vacation, at CAMP, or playing in their own backyards! Or they are at the private swimclubs in the area. My kids constantly ride their bikes around our street, and play on their swingset, and swim and read...and then they get bored! That is what they do on weekends.
Summer camp gives them loads of activities they don't do at school they don't do at home and exposes them to some wonderful things! I can't imagine not sending my kids to camp when I worked or not worked. That is just the way it is where I live. My mom didn't work when I was a child, but I went to camp. It was just what was done. I am very blessed that my kids have had the opportunities that they have had. They don't feel entitled to these things, and are very grateful and thankful for everything they receive.
And if your kids are happy with how they spend their summers..that is great and wonderful. That is how you live your life and you live close enough to a park that your kids and do that with, and all the kids are around all summer. Wondful! It isn't like that where I live. Which is why there are 2 hugh camps within 2 miles of my home, and numerous othter camps big and small for all ages.
I would never say your were a bad parent for not sending your kids to camp.
SOme are you are trying to make it as if I abuse my children because I send them to CAMP!!! Geez...take a breath and get a freaking life!
All I did was VENT...you guys need a defintion of the word?? All I did was vent that for what I was paying they should provide another shirt. And I still believe that. With everything they do provide, it surprised me, since they aren't a stingy type outfit! And no I don't think I am wrong in sending my kids to such a wonderful place and being able to do so.
I'm so glad the last two pages that someone finally asked "Why?" Why the heck would the kids need to be in camp if one parent is home? My DH actually changed jobs to be able to stay home with the kids in the summer and afternoons, not saying anyone should do that, but just that he is home in the summer for the fun activities.
Why not take $2K of that money and do day trips with the kids yourself, bring a friend if they get bored with just each other. Join a swim club, sleep late, ride bikes (if possible) and save the rest or take a great family vacation. I just think kids are way too over scheduled these days, including mine. They like the summers to sleep in, swim, play and just recharge with no real schedule.
August 1, school starts, competitive soccer starts, volleyball starts and so it goes.... The summer is a time for kids just being kids, staying up late and sleeping late. I'm sure it's what they get used to, but mine would hate being so scheduled in the summer. Heck, my oldest DD even likes being away from her school friends most of the summer for a break. She has her swim friends and neighborhood friends when she need interaction. I think it is just to much go, go, go, IMO.
ETA: Yes, I do spend thousands a year on sports and yes we only get one uniform that I wash either at home or at a hotel if traveling. I would probably buy one extra shirt (yes, I think the camp should have given out at least 2) and make DD be responsible for having a clean shirt each day since she has 2.
Why not take $2K of that money and do day trips with the kids yourself, bring a friend if they get bored with just each other. Join a swim club, sleep late, ride bikes (if possible) and save the rest or take a great family vacation. I just think kids are way too over scheduled these days, including mine. They like the summers to sleep in, swim, play and just recharge with no real schedule.
August 1, school starts, competitive soccer starts, volleyball starts and so it goes.... The summer is a time for kids just being kids, staying up late and sleeping late. I'm sure it's what they get used to, but mine would hate being so scheduled in the summer. Heck, my oldest DD even likes being away from her school friends most of the summer for a break. She has her swim friends and neighborhood friends when she need interaction. I think it is just to much go, go, go, IMO.
ETA: Yes, I do spend thousands a year on sports and yes we only get one uniform that I wash either at home or at a hotel if traveling. I would probably buy one extra shirt (yes, I think the camp should have given out at least 2) and make DD be responsible for having a clean shirt each day since she has 2.
princessmom29
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Why can't you just accept the fact that things are not the same all over the country? What is normal in one area, will not work in another. It isn't a matter of right or wrong. It boils down to what is the norm for that community and what the families wants/expects.
In my community, an agency's summer camp is a small portion of their youth programing. To say that they don't want to deal with the kids is a joke.
The camp I posted about has been around since the early 70s. The agency runs a summer camp, and after school programs for 1st-12th graders. The after school kids also go on a ton of trips during the school year.
They have the typical after-school programing for elementary and middle school kids. They offer career explorations, SAT prep and college prep classes for high school kids.
The school year trips include
Broadway plays
performances at Lincoln Center (Alvin Ailey is a huge hit each year)
Circuses (Ringling brothers, UniverSoul, Big Apple)
Sporting events(Yankees, Mets, Knicks)
Weekend Ski trip
Spring break College Tour (The high school kids visit HBCUs in DC, Delaware, Virginia and North Carolina)
Agencies that do not care about or want to bothered with the kids would not put forth the time and effort it takes to run these programs year after year.
I am sorry, the this is the way it has always been, or this is just the way it is agrument doesn't hold water with me. I live in the south and I have heard that one before. Just because it is the way things have always been done or it what parents expect does not necessairly make it right or a good idea to continue doing it that way. Kids need a summer, not an extension of school where they are constantly expected to perform. We do know who Alvin Ailey is here too. We have had his company at our school several times working with our dance company, but is that really necessary at summer camp? Not unless you plan on a career in dance! Slow down a little bit and let kids be kids for heaven's sake. They should be spending their summers having fun, not building their resume.
OP - I can't believe you are being attacked for sending your child to camp, especially since it appears to be the norm in your area. I can't imagine living somewhere where everyone goes to camp, and keeping my children home. Luckily, most of the campers here have 2 working parents, but in a neighboring town, camp is the norm. I actually had a woman ask me, a few years ago, why my kids weren't in camp! I grew up attending camp at least 2 weeks in the summer, and our neighborhood was full of kids, and we had both a heated pool and a beach house. My parents just wanted us to do something different.
I'm a sahm and our 11 yr old is scheduled for 2 weeks of day camp. Her sister is going to summer school, and i wanted to give our older dd a chance to meet some friends, and have a little structure. Just because I'm a sahm, doesn't mean no camp. Our parks and rec offers very affordable day camps, and many of us are sahm's, yet our kids still want to do something new. 11 weeks of going to the pool can get old.
Sounds like fun to me! This poster lives in NYC - and it sounds like they're attending performances, not actually doing the dancing. What a great chance to take advantage of all NYC has to offer.
so because you're from the south you know everything? that doesn't make any sense.. you have been to every single camp there is to offer, ever, and you can definitively say that the children who go to these types of camps suffer more and feel as if nobody cares about them because their summers have multiple activities.. Is that what you're saying? so only children who spend summers at home in the backyard and in the pool and hanging out with friends and stuff like that have a shot at success in this world? just because that's what your kids do and that's what has always been done in your life doesn't mean it is wrong for a another child to spend summer differently. just because a child is doing something 3 times a week at camp doesn't mean they feel pressured to perform and like they are at school. i'm sure there ARE kids out there who prefer to spend their summers relaxing, and there's nothing wrong with that. but it doesn't mean ALL kids are like that. and there's nothing wrong with that either. what you find relaxing and normal for you and your family may be really different to other people's lives. i love spending my life always on the go. to think that all children are the same and what works for one will most certainly work for all is silly. i get bored when i'm sitting or we don't really have anything planned. it doesn't mean my parents are horrible and they don't like me. its actually because i'm hyperactive and have an adrenaline disorder.
my parents have my siblings in all sorts of camps, that's what my summers were like when i was younger too. we have something planned everyday somehow. if we didn't want to have summers like that, we wouldn't. that is just how my family is. we're always on the go at different sports or club activities no matter what time of year, and that doesn't mean i am deprived or that my younger siblings are. We are very loved by my parents, we all know it.
but that's not even what the thread was initially about. but some people had to put the original poster and others through the ringer because, as it boils down to it, some people don't approve of the idea of an activity filled summer. she can provide that for her children, so why wouldn't she? and just because somebody else doesn't or can't does not mean their kids are having a horrible life. that's not what she said. she said in HER community with HER children, it just doesn't work. why is that such a problem?
I also said take the money and do day trips together, not just go to the pool... I would love to do some of the things her kids are doing in camp, go together instead of camp, take a friend if they are bored with just you or their sibling. I also said take a family vacation.
I think 2 weeks of day camp is great. My oldest did soccer camp for 1 1/2 weeks and my youngest did volleyball camp for a week and will probably go for a week to church camp next summer. My oldest DD doesn't want to go to sleep away camp or be tied to having to be somewhere everyday. We only get about 9 weeks of summer vacation here. We usually take a family vacation for 1 1/2 weeks, they have various camps to attend if they want, my youngest swims every morning and has swim meets, they go to the pool when they want, which is about 2x per week to socialize, my DH will take them to some historic attractions in our state, etc., but yes, they still get bored and are ready to go back to school in August. I think that is a good thing though. I want them ready to go back to school and I also don't want them to have to be constantly entertained as that is a bad example for life. Life is not always going to entertain them.
I think structure is good and they don't just lay around the house doing nothing. I just don't think they need complete structure all summer. They need down time and it sounds like you have a good variation also...a little camp is a good thing. I just wouldn't want them going all summer, but this is what works for my family and I guess I just have a hard time with sending them to camp every day of the summer if a parent was home.
MaumeeMom
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VENT (from dictionary.com)
- to give free play or expression to (an emotion, passion, etc.): to vent rage.
- to give public utterance to: to vent one's opinions.
- to relieve by giving expression to something: He vented his disappointment by criticizing his successor.
We all know what the word, vent, means and it is your right to do so. Again, it is your choice of forum that is your problem. When people didn't agree with you, you seemed to get upset and dig your self into a deeper and deeper hole. You come across as having a superior attitude and just keep whining about a shirt. Of course most people with real problems, looking at the "BUDGET" board will not sympathize with you. I suggest either moving the thread or closing it.
Good luck.
Okay, now I understand better where you're coming from. I agree with you on finding a blend of structure and free time. I can remember being a kid and not doing camp or any activities, and I'd get bored after a few weeks. Also, all of dd's friends live in other neighborhoods, so we pretty much have to drive them everywhere. Which is fine, just takes some planning. Different than when I was a kid and could ride my bike to friends' houses.
Ashley Kees
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I want to start by saying that I am NOT flaming anyone right now. I have made one previous comment in which I attempted to be non-judgemental but my gut reaction was offense. I have spent the last few days thinking about this thread, and am totally calm.
The OP spent X amount of money on a camp that requires a specific dress code but did not supply enough T-shirts to fulfill the dress code requirement. She clearly feels that for X amount of money, the required number of shirts should have been supplied without extra work on her part. The issue is her not getting what she feels she paid for, and I think we all have been there. Had the post been written in, let's say, more vague, more universal wording, the follow-up posters probably would have been more supportive.
The issue with ALL the flaming is perhaps in a lack of sensitivity on the part of the OP. What ever the "norm" is in the OP's area, it is most certainly NOT the norm over 90% of the country, and as such, it is NOT the norm for 90% of the readers on this board. Taken purely from a statistical standpoint, there are very few SAHM's who can afford a luxury (that is what this is), months-long summer camp for their kids (regardless of specific cost) while also paying for COBRA and having a layoff in the family.
Added to this is the fact that this was posted on the Budget Board during a recession. This is an area where money concerns are discussed, and this is money-related, but the concerns here tend to be more along the lines of, "Where can I get my brakes fixed for less than $200" and "Both DH and myself were laid off this week, how can we eat", and "Target has a sale on Hot Dogs and there is a store coupon and a manufacturer coupon that will make it free!" type posts. Yes, there are vents and OT posts, but they are still stress-money related, or are due to family or health issues. Most of the time.
What I'm getting at here is it is important when posting to know your audience. Most people on this board, in fact most in the country right now cannot afford any kind of camp, whether or not it is the norm to send your kids to camp, and beyond that people are very sensitive about not being able to afford it. I truly think that this topic would not have been flamed so hard and for so long if it had been posted in vague terms (leaving out the actual cost, the list of luxury activities, etc.) or if it had been posted on the families board.
My rational opinion, yes, if I spend money for a luxury camp I would expect the dress code to be provided for in full or not at all, but not partially.
My realistic opinion, if I was your mom I would be so proud of you for being able to afford to do this for your kids in a bad market. But I don't know you, money is tight at my house, my best friend just had her third baby and got laid off in the same month, another friend's husband cannot get papers into the country and isn't allowed back to see his wife or kids until 2019, and I am spending every weekend at the local social services center trying to help people get signed up for WIC and Food Stamps and not loose their house so it is hard so I am sensitive about people who have enough money to be more than comfortable. It's unfair to you, but it's a reflex. I apologize if I offended you. I hope though, that you can understand. For many, your post was as offensive as if you had been complaining about the quality of your steak last night in a bread line.
I do, truly, think you are doing everything you can to be a good mom, and kudos to you for doing so. I hope they have a good time. I am also doing everything I can to be a good mom, in a different way.
The OP spent X amount of money on a camp that requires a specific dress code but did not supply enough T-shirts to fulfill the dress code requirement. She clearly feels that for X amount of money, the required number of shirts should have been supplied without extra work on her part. The issue is her not getting what she feels she paid for, and I think we all have been there. Had the post been written in, let's say, more vague, more universal wording, the follow-up posters probably would have been more supportive.
The issue with ALL the flaming is perhaps in a lack of sensitivity on the part of the OP. What ever the "norm" is in the OP's area, it is most certainly NOT the norm over 90% of the country, and as such, it is NOT the norm for 90% of the readers on this board. Taken purely from a statistical standpoint, there are very few SAHM's who can afford a luxury (that is what this is), months-long summer camp for their kids (regardless of specific cost) while also paying for COBRA and having a layoff in the family.
Added to this is the fact that this was posted on the Budget Board during a recession. This is an area where money concerns are discussed, and this is money-related, but the concerns here tend to be more along the lines of, "Where can I get my brakes fixed for less than $200" and "Both DH and myself were laid off this week, how can we eat", and "Target has a sale on Hot Dogs and there is a store coupon and a manufacturer coupon that will make it free!" type posts. Yes, there are vents and OT posts, but they are still stress-money related, or are due to family or health issues. Most of the time.
What I'm getting at here is it is important when posting to know your audience. Most people on this board, in fact most in the country right now cannot afford any kind of camp, whether or not it is the norm to send your kids to camp, and beyond that people are very sensitive about not being able to afford it. I truly think that this topic would not have been flamed so hard and for so long if it had been posted in vague terms (leaving out the actual cost, the list of luxury activities, etc.) or if it had been posted on the families board.
My rational opinion, yes, if I spend money for a luxury camp I would expect the dress code to be provided for in full or not at all, but not partially.
My realistic opinion, if I was your mom I would be so proud of you for being able to afford to do this for your kids in a bad market. But I don't know you, money is tight at my house, my best friend just had her third baby and got laid off in the same month, another friend's husband cannot get papers into the country and isn't allowed back to see his wife or kids until 2019, and I am spending every weekend at the local social services center trying to help people get signed up for WIC and Food Stamps and not loose their house so it is hard so I am sensitive about people who have enough money to be more than comfortable. It's unfair to you, but it's a reflex. I apologize if I offended you. I hope though, that you can understand. For many, your post was as offensive as if you had been complaining about the quality of your steak last night in a bread line.
I do, truly, think you are doing everything you can to be a good mom, and kudos to you for doing so. I hope they have a good time. I am also doing everything I can to be a good mom, in a different way.
disneyjunkie
DIS Legend
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You just don't get it.The kids have a summer. They go to camp and do the typical camp stuff. In Brooklyn typical camp stuff includes TRIPS. After camp and on the weekends they hang out doing the typical neighborhood stuff.
The kids don't take part in Ailey work shops. Each winter they attend an Ailey performance at Lincoln Center. (Those poor, neglected kids.
)How exposing a bunch of kids to all the things our wonderful city has to offer is a bad thing is beyond me.
The camps (and I assume after school programs) in my area are not the same as the programs in your area. I don't see it as a right or wrong thing. They are just different.
I get what you are saying. I am glad you came back, because I was getting the feeling that you felt kids that stayed home were deprived
I see that is not how you feelMy three children do go to tennis and golf camp. But they only last a week.
We live in a small and safe community, so I imagine that does play a big part in why they are able to hop on bikes and go.
My sister's princess
<font color=green>These boards have grimmer police
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OP, I think you are handling the flaming here amazingly. It seems you are dealing with people who are angry that they can not provide the same for their children. Growing up, my single mother could not afford to even send me to the nasty rec programs in town, but I did go to church camp for one week a summer on scholarship. These memories from camp are my fondest of the summers growing up. I am thankful to her for working the church suppers that supplied these scholarships. I think it is great that you are able to give your children these experiences, though at 21 I may be to young to understand the value of giving your children the best you are able 
And for the record I think it is nuts they didn't give you 3 shirts, or offer to have them cleaned with the swim suits.
And for the record I think it is nuts they didn't give you 3 shirts, or offer to have them cleaned with the swim suits.
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