Calling ALL Moms- How you get your kids to pick up!

[danjoealexis3006]

I just occured to me this morning that I am SICK of picking up behind my kids! I spend just about every morning doing this. It is not only toys but paper, trash, dishes, and yes clothes! I have 2 DS who are 4 1/2 and 8. I do not want to spend the whole summer nagging them to pick up behind themselves! I have tried going through toys and giving some away and I have also tried packing some away and rotating them. To be honest they have to much stuff for our little house! I have always helped them pick up but I think that they are old enough now. My DS preschool teacher says he never gives her a hard time picking up behind himself so he should beable to do it at home. I don't expect perfect kids (if they were perfect they wouldn't be mine ) but I do expect them to do a better job that what they are doing! How do you get your kids to pick up?

Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[Pixiedust34]

First, before they get out anything new, the previous toys have to be put away. We've been doing this for years, and it works.

Next, they can either watch TV or play. They don't do both at the same time. TV does not go on until their toys are put away. I edited to say that if there is something on TV that they want to watch, they do a cleaning frenzy to make sure they don't miss their show. TV is never "background noise" here. When it is on, we are watching it. We only turn it on for specific shows.

And, if we have somewhere fun to go (the pool, a playdate, etc.), we don't leave the house until they clean up their things.

BTW, If they don't clean up by a certain time (read: if they don't listen), that toy gets put away by ME and they don't see it again for a while.

It might sound like I'm a mean mommy, but I think it's good that kids learn to take responsibility for their belongings.

 

[ZuZugal]

I got this idea from a magazine somewhere.

I write down household chores on neon index cards. A few times a week I go through them and take a few out for my DS12 and DD10. They see them when they get up in the morning on the table; I don't have to play the bad guy and ask them to do the chores. They know that whatever is on the card needs to be done in a timely manner and certainly before they get to go anywhere or leave the house that day. Some of the cards I put "see mom for instructions" when I have something I want them to do that is not a "regular" duty. It works well, and they know not to complain (too much) about what needs to be done. I also don't feel the need to continually nag. If they ask to play outside/go to the neighbors house, I just point to the cards if a task hasn't yet been completed. On a few cards I even wrote "read or play a game with your little brother". They like it when that one comes up!

 

[minkydog]

Set a timer and put on some loud fast music(march music works well) and give them each a laundry basket. Whoever fills the basket first AND empties it in the right places gets a special prize--my kids liked to eat off the red plate and whoever had the red plate that day was the most envied member of the family. OR if you don't like competition, then make it so that when the stuff is all put away(encouraging teamwork) everyone gets a popsicle or gets to use the squirt guns or what ever they love to do.

And at some point you will need to readjust your own standards. Nobody likes to clean up and children will never do the job an adult could do. But I agree that they can be more helpful. If the problem is too much stuff, then nothing will make it better until all the extra stuff is either removed or organized. I find that you can't count on kids to do that--if they have to touch it, they can't get rid of it.

 

[vellamint]

HAHAHA

Yesterday I told my family that I am on strike. (Sons graduation BBQ is supposed to be this Sunday). My house is a mess....girls stuff all over, video games a big, long-legged octopus (after I fixed them last weekend). Cant dust or vacuum because of things laying around......

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF IT.

Went back to full-time work this past school year and boy do I feel like Cinderella around here...

 

[ribbot]

My son will be 6 this weekend, and he has always picked up his toys. I think it's something that he learned in preschool (Barney song: Clean up, Clean up, everybody everywhere, Clean up, Clean up, everybody do their share).

So as he learned that at school (from the age of 3 and 4), I kept using it at home. Just in the past year (since he started kindergarten), I've told him that he will get an allowance at the end of the week if he picks up his toys, sets the table and makes his bed everyday----and so far that has worked wonders. I give him 4 quarters a week (he thinks it's like a million dollars, so I guess I'll just go with that for right now ) Just last night, I told him it was bedtime and he said, "Wait! I've gotta pick up my toys first."

He has his own clear piggy bank that he can see being filled up. Then after a couple months or so, I give him a few dollars to spend on a toy at Walmart and he gets such satisfaction knowing that he worked to get his own toy. I even let him buy it himself at the checkout counter.

Another thing I do when trying to get rid of all these toys when he outgrows them, is to tell him that in order to get big boy toys, he has to get rid of some of the baby toys so that other little children can enjoy them too. I give him 2 boxes--1 for keep, and 1 for getting rid of. Then we have a yard sale and he can have the money for his toys.

He is my only son (and probably will only be my only child), and I really don't know a whole lot about motherhood, I just take it day by day, but I truly feel in my heart that the younger you start with kids, the better it seems to work because they're so used to it. JMHO

 

[vermonter]

I have found the only thing that works for my 3 boys (14, 13, and 7), is to tell them we are having a 15 or 20 minute clean-up (it doesn't feel like such a big deal then), I set the timer on the stove and tell them they have to clean for the designated minutes (no phone calls, lollygagging, etc.) and then they are free for the day. Also, you have to put on music that THEY like, rather loudly. I also do chores during this time, so it is all inclusive. They are always surprised at how can get done in such a short time with everyone working. Good Luck.

 

[pweyl36]

get a trash bag and walk around the house and put all the toys in it. If the kids ask you why are you throwing away our stuff ? Just tell them that since you asked them to pick up there toys and that they didnt you thought that
they didn't want them anymore. My children always find toys in the trash. then they will ask why was it in the trash, I just tell them " hey it was on the floor any nobody picked it after playing with it I thought you guys didn't want it any more" Well now I barely find any toys laying around now.

 

[PrincessAbby'sMom]

In the past, & I need to do it again, I have made up a "chore list" and she has a list of 8-10 chores: make bed
brush teeth in AM
clean up dishes after breakfast
clean up toys around house
do homework/read in summer
clean up lunch dishes (just put in sink)
do a special chore for Mom or Dad
clean up supper dishes
take bath w/no complaining
brush teeth in PM
bed on time
Nothing too hard, but things that she should be doing anyway. If she has 6 or less stars from today - tommorrow there is NO TV at all! She will be there all day counting the stars & seeing what else she can do to get a special chore star.

Works for us (and she's 5 now & I used it last year)

 

[Plantlady]

I too, set a timer, for 10-15 minutes, and tell the kids to clean. It is a very managable amount of time, and they know the end is coming.

They also have to pick up one thing, before getting out a new toy. It seems like I always have to remind them of this, but they do it, usually without complaining.

If there is a certain area I want cleaned, such as their room, I will tell them, no video games or tv, until it is cleaned. I don't remind them all day, and they usually do anything BUT clean, but in the end, they'll do it, just to get the tv back. This also makes for a nice creative day, where they use their imaginations.

 

[reeanna]

These are all great ideas! Here's a link where you can make a cute chore chart to print and hang- they have many different themes the kids can choose from (Disney too). I usually list 5 chores for each day of the week (brush teeth, make bed, clothes in hamper, etc)- then I put a star in each box for the day if that chore has been completed. At the end of the week, they count up their stars. If they get 30 out of the possible 35 stars (I don't expect perfection), they can cash them in for something special. I've found that its effective to have the kids participate in the making of the chore chart (it takes a few mins at most-its all done online). Then if they gripe, I can say it was their idea.

http://www.dltk-cards.com/chart/

 

[shyjade]

My DD is 8 and I have a simple list of daily chores she is expected to do. I bought some "medals" in the party supply isle of Wal-Mart and each day she follows the rules by doing her chores she gets a medal (they are on a red, white & blue ribbon to hang around a neck). This is a great way to keep track of how well she did on a daily basis throughout the week so when allowance time rolls around, be both know how much she has earned based on the number of medals she got during the week.

Now that she knows we're going to Disney in September she has figured out potentially how much allowance she could earn before the trip. It's an added incentive to know that if she picks up her things today, she can buy more fun stuff at Disney down the road!

 

[danjoealexis3006]

Thanks all! Keep the ideas comming! I tried the only take one toy out rule and the no tv while your playing with your toys rule and they have worked good (day 1) so far. Tonight we will use the link to make a chore chart and the reward will be Disney Dollars. Now if I could only inspire my DH to put his clothes in the hamper instead of the bedroom floor..........

 

[belle&beast]

We use marbles and small fish bowls from the dollar store. It is a positive reward system. My kids are 4 and 2 and it works every time! Each child has a marble jar labeled with his/her name. When I ask one of them to do something, like pick up the toys in the living room, she earns a marble for helping. If there is a refusal, a marble is taken away. It is amazing how competitive they can be to want to earn the same or more than the other! I don't usually count them or let them cash in the marbles for something else, at this pont the marbles are enough reward. The mom who told me about this has 4 children and she lets the child with the most marbles at the end of the week choose what they eat for dinner and what their family activity will be on Sunday. I like this concept because IMO kids should help out around the house and pick up after themselves without being "paid" to do so. But I know a lot of people use a pay system and it works well, too.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

What worked well when mine was little and I was a stay at home mom that also kept other children was to set certain pick up times and then not worry about it the other times of the day. We would let the children play at will throughout the day and let the toys fall where they may. However about an hour before daddy came home or the other parents would come, we would do a huge pick-up and everyone worked tilll we were done. As we did not watch Tv during the day, knowning that when all the toys were up they could watch TV helped too. They never minded because they were not constanly nagged to pick up while playing. When they were a bit older during Summers, we sometimes had a lunch clean up too to keep things from getting too overwelming. Now things like games and puzzles I kept up and they only got those at the table so not so many little pieces to get lost.

What also helps is having a place for everything and everyone knowing where it all goes. Too many toys are also overwelming for young ones.

Now with my almost 14 year old it is dirty socks!!!! I told him today for every dirty sock I find, it is a lap of running around our really big yard!!!!!

Never had a problem with toys, but I do not know what it is with socks!!!!

 

[ribbot]

We use marbles and small fish bowls from the dollar store. It is a positive reward system. My kids are 4 and 2 and it works every time! Each child has a marble jar labeled with his/her name. When I ask one of them to do something, like pick up the toys in the living room, she earns a marble for helping. If there is a refusal, a marble is taken away. It is amazing how competitive they can be to want to earn the same or more than the other! I don't usually count them or let them cash in the marbles for something else, at this pont the marbles are enough reward. The mom who told me about this has 4 children and she lets the child with the most marbles at the end of the week choose what they eat for dinner and what their family activity will be on Sunday. I like this concept because IMO kids should help out around the house and pick up after themselves without being "paid" to do so. But I know a lot of people use a pay system and it works well, too.

You are right in a way about having them "trained" to pick up without being paid for it. My sons K class gets beans for being good---if they're not good, they lose a scoop--if they're good, they gain one. If they fill up the jar, they get a party. I think it really worked well for the class too. That was the topic of conversation everyday when he came home..did ya get beans in or out today?

But the reason I picked paying $1 per week for chores, is that I am teaching him what coins are what, what the value of them are, what it buys him at the store and I'm HOPING that this can continue on, so that when he's 15 and wants a game for his--whatever it is at the time--he can buy it himself with his own money that he earned. I think he feels more gratification knowing that he worked hard to get his new item. And I hope this will also instill good working values when he gets old enough to work someplace. He will know that if he gets up to go to his job, there will be a paycheck at the end of the week.

Every child is different, and some things work for some kids, and others work for others---I love reading the different ways people do things. It always gives me hope in case what I'm doing isn't working!!! But I think now that he knows his quarters, dimes, nickels, etc---it'll be tough to go back to marbles!!

 

[Eeyore's Girl]

My issue is a bit different, but with the same concept.

My DD13 & DD5 now have to pay me a quarter every time they leave a light on after leaving a room. It works.

They also enjoy having a chore LIST. They feel good to check off a chore and move to the next.

 

[vellamint]

Okay....I dont know if any of you have reached this point yet but this is what I did tonight....

I took all the stuff that my two girls have left laying around and THREW THEM ALL ON THE FLOOR OF THE DINING ROOM!!!

At least everything was in one spot..........and yes, they then put them away....and no, I am not proud of myself.

 

[my4kids]

Okay....I dont know if any of you have reached this point yet but this is what I did tonight....

I took all the stuff that my two girls have left laying around and THREW THEM ALL ON THE FLOOR OF THE DINING ROOM!!!

At least everything was in one spot..........and yes, they then put them away....and no, I am not proud of myself.

Ok - thats nothing...my mom used to throw it all out the bedrrom windows - we would then have to go down a flight of stairs and back up with it.....one day she did this in the rain.

I'm not suggesting this - (since I always felt that it was over the top even if she thought it was effective)

 

[my4kids]

I used to struggle with this one too - I always did ALL of the picking up for everyone. When you are picking up behind 6 people - if makes you about nuts. Time and again I could not get them to do it...then I realized that I was doing everything for everyone because they did not know where to put anything....if they did clean up, I didn't like how they did it and would redo it myself......so at some point I started doing it without even asking them to do it first...I guess it felt easier to do it right the first time myself, rather than yelling at them to do it, then yelling at them that they did it wrong, then redoing it anyway. Finally my oldest said in exaustion, "but I don't know where you want it!" I realized that the reason they picked up at school was because there was a clear place where everything belonged, and at home it was just being thrown in bins with no clear order.....I realized I needed to get organized and label like their teachers did if I expected them to clean up with out my help. I labeled the places on shelves where things should go, made a clear place for puzzles, a place for books. Now they can put things away after they are done, because they know where to put them...I found that I had to organize myself first....another tip I learned from my sons kindergarten teacher was not to expect perfection....(example - I used to want every piece of a wood puzzle put in place before it was put away) this made the job very tedious for the kids...so they would just not play with those toys. she taught me to just have zip-lock for the pieces of each puzzle and as long as the pieces were together and in the right bag, that was good enough. Oh- I can not say enough about zip-lock bags by the way...pieces to games etc. are great in them....even if the 2 yr old knocks all the games off the shelf, the piece do not get all mixed up.