BUSH WINS NOBEL WAR PRIZE
Saddam Miffed at Oslo Snub
The Norwegian Nobel Committee honored President George W. Bush today by bestowing upon him the first-ever Nobel War Prize.
In Oslo, Nobel Committee chairman Gunnar Berge said that Mr. Bush was chosen for the award because above all, in his words and deeds, President Bush has stood for the resolution of conflicts between nations and peoples through the use of massive and overwhelming force.
At the White House, President Bush said that he was surprised to have received the Nobel War Prize and that he was deeply honored and touched.
He added that it would have been impossible to win the award without the help of Senator Majority Leader Tom Daschle, whom the President thanked for his tireless efforts to do absolutely nothing to hinder me.
But even as the Oslo committee announced the first-ever prize, there was a firestorm of controversy in international circles, with some critics charging that President Bush was insufficiently bellicose to win the Nobel War Prize.
In particular, Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein expressed the view that he and not the President should have walked off with the coveted Norwegian accolade.
Ive been busting my hump to win the Nobel War Prize for the better part of twenty years, and he just scoops it up at the last minute? a visibly miffed Saddam said to reporters in Baghdad. Excuse me, but the whole thing reeks of politics.
For his part, President Bush brushed off Saddams comments as sour grapes, and said he would use the $1 million dollar award to break ground on the Bush Center for Preemptive Armed Conflict in Houston, Texas.
****Borowitz Reports****
Saddam Miffed at Oslo Snub
The Norwegian Nobel Committee honored President George W. Bush today by bestowing upon him the first-ever Nobel War Prize.
In Oslo, Nobel Committee chairman Gunnar Berge said that Mr. Bush was chosen for the award because above all, in his words and deeds, President Bush has stood for the resolution of conflicts between nations and peoples through the use of massive and overwhelming force.
At the White House, President Bush said that he was surprised to have received the Nobel War Prize and that he was deeply honored and touched.
He added that it would have been impossible to win the award without the help of Senator Majority Leader Tom Daschle, whom the President thanked for his tireless efforts to do absolutely nothing to hinder me.
But even as the Oslo committee announced the first-ever prize, there was a firestorm of controversy in international circles, with some critics charging that President Bush was insufficiently bellicose to win the Nobel War Prize.
In particular, Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein expressed the view that he and not the President should have walked off with the coveted Norwegian accolade.
Ive been busting my hump to win the Nobel War Prize for the better part of twenty years, and he just scoops it up at the last minute? a visibly miffed Saddam said to reporters in Baghdad. Excuse me, but the whole thing reeks of politics.
For his part, President Bush brushed off Saddams comments as sour grapes, and said he would use the $1 million dollar award to break ground on the Bush Center for Preemptive Armed Conflict in Houston, Texas.
****Borowitz Reports****
