Bullying - why are both my children victims

[florida sun]

Good luck Claire, I hope you get it sorted, I know how worrying this can be, I was bullied very badly at school and back then there was very little anyone would do, and it started again when my daughter was about 13,almost 3 years ago, I got straight in touch with the school, where they have bullying monitors from year 11 in place and my daughter was assigned to one of them who she could go to and talk in confidence. It did pass but I know how awful it was for her at the time. I wish you and your son well

 

[Netty]

I hope this is sorted out for your son as quickly as possible.
If you dont get any joy from the head then take it to the governors.stand your ground dont give up until it is all sorted out.
My son was bullied, and also my youngest daughter, in primary they would call her gay, when she was 8yrs old???all the teacher did was to move my dd off the table of 5 pupils one was the bully. i went mad, as as far as i'm concerned-remove the bully not my dd.
sending you both

 

[mushumadness]

my neice is constantl bullied by one girl (the girls mother has also been heard tellin the girl to beat abbie, by me who she didnt realise was with abbie, I hit orbit) my sister has been down a million times and all she gets told is the schools making a diary of what this girl does, what use is that?

the end result is that when they finish this school abbie is off to private school, i know it doesnt solve it but the school has very good policys on bullying so hopefully will be better (to the tune of 5k a term each)

 

[Queenie]

I was bullied from infants right up until yr 11 at 3 different schools. I went to a private secondary school (at about 4k a year) which had a very good anti-bullying policy... on paper. Basically their statement was that they deal with bullying as soon as it's reported and as such it's not a problem. Of course that's not what happened - it was more like they ignored the bullying and thus could claim that there was no bullying as they "never had to bring the anti bullying policy into play". My best friend left in the 3rd year as she was being consistently bullied by one girl and the school refused to do anything.

I went to an inner city sixth form and can honestly say that for the first time since I was 4 and started full time education - I wasn't bullied once. The people there just couldn't be bothered, sure they still messed about in lessons and didn't do homework like at school, but there was absolutely no bullying. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that your not lumped together in a "class" and you can go off and do what you want whenever you didn't have a class (helped that there was a pub next door!)

I had a thought about a website someone should start. One that lists all the schools in the country, parents could go on and report what the schools have done to deal with bullying problems and rate the school on what they've done. This could then be used to create a "league table" based on real experiences - far more useful to prospective parents than these phoney "anti bullying policies".

Really hope your boys get through this ok, I ended up seriously depressed with an eating disorder and self harming for many years - partly brought on by years of consistent bullying and it's only now starting to get better. It's a very serious problem - I really feel for you.

 

[snookhams]

I would like to thank you all for your kind words and advice ~ I was not happy with the way that the meeting went and the headmaster even told me that bullying does not happen in his school (this is not the first time that he has told me this), I could not repeat on these boards what I replied as those with delicate constitutions might take offence!! but tomorrow I will be taking it further.

I will add that this is a church school and the girl involved has just started attending our church ~ in the last 4 weeks, because guess what they have to apply to senior schools at the begining of the next school year and the mother wants to get her into the local church secondary school _ youngest son will go there as eldest already does!! We had a special Civic service for our new Mayor and council today and I was on duty as assitant warden and she was being very outspoken about our family, but she started making snide (did I spell that right) comments to DS when he was queueing up with the choir for the procession at the begining of the service, DH went mad, and told her that if she wasn't going to behave appropriatly in a place of worship then she would be asked to leave and then rather loudly said 'its one thing your daughter bullying our son at school but he would not tolerate the mother bullying him in Church' ~ she upped and left. We told our vicar after the service what had happened as he had realised that something was amiss, and as the chairman of the board of gouverners he said that he would look into it tomorrow! So we are hoping that we will not have a repeat of Friday when DS goes to school in the morning but DGmum has said that she will hang around in town tomorow incase he is not well and needs to come home.

 

[shellbell]

I really hope you get this sorted. Big for your son