Bringing Disney to us. Advice needed.

[Missy Mouse]

The history: I don't think I'm going to be able to talk Joey into a Disney wedding. We're both competely in love and obsessed with Disney, but he just doesn't think it's fair to ask our families to come up with the money to fly down to FL. He wants a big fancy wedding with all of our family, which I understand and respect, so I'm not pushing the Disney wedding issue. I personally would rather go down to Disney and be with our closest friends and family...I think we would have the time of our lives with whoever could come. My family is all for it including a lot of my extended family. My aunt has been waiting for the word so she can book a Disney trip! (We're all a little obsessed) His family, however, would have a much greater financial strain and that's not fair either. What does really suck is that I moved 60 miles away from my family to go to school and be with Joe, and I have a WAY bigger family than he does (25 aunts and uncles on one side), so I don't think it's fair to ask all of them to drive 1 1/2 hours out here, especially since most of them have children and Joe's side of the family is basically all grown up. I'm now stuck trying to planning a wedding half way between Malden and Worcester that will be convenient driving for both sides of our families. If we can't do Disney what _I_ really want is a beautiful reception site with a fireplace that opens to the ocean. No matter what someone is not going to be happy and that makes me nervous because I really want this to be a warm, happy event.

Okay, with that long-winded history, what I want to do is bring Disney to us. Do you think it would be crazy to rent a hall for the rehearsal dinner and have an O'Hana type themed meal with a dessert party after? I'm worried it will be too expensive, but I just don't feel like my wedding will be complete without some Disney in it. I'm already incorporating it with a Mickey/Minnie ring holder instead of a pillow, using the Wishes theme song as our exit dance (the one that plays at the park exit after the fireworks in MK), Mickey/Minnie cake topper, toasting glasses and cake cutter, and I'm sure I'll do some kind of Disney favor. I would love to be able to bring the magic of Disney to us if we can't go down there, but I don't know if it's realistic. Has anyone ever held a non-Disney dessert party? I want to do a chocolate fountain fondue table, and all kinds of pastries like they serve down there. I want to have lei's for the rehearsal dinner, and have it catered with skewered meats/shrimp, the dressing from the salad at O'Hana, the honey wings and wontons for appetizers, and bananas foster dessert. Am I being ridiculous? Do I just need to let this go? You can be honest. I feel silly even typing this.

 

[padisneyfour]

Go for it if it something you both want!

 

[happymommy]

It's your wedding. Period.

Do what you want - set a guest list, invite them, those who can come, fine, those who can't, sorry, but they won't DIE if they aren't at your wedding. AND... Don't try to plan the wedding in some halfway location to please everyone! First of all, no one should expect that (it would be rude and insane for them to expect YOU to cater to THEM on YOUR wedding). Also, you'll just drive yourself crazy. You and your fiance should plan the wedding you want! Don't worry about some folks not being able to make it.

I wish I had done the Disney wedding instead of the big one at home for my folks. Don't make the mistake I did!

 

[Swmhc]

Welcome to the Dis !!!

It is YOUR wedding, so you should have things the way you want them. I think your plans sound awesome and very do-able ! As for where the wedding should be, it is tradionally in the bride's hometown, so that should help with travel issues. I am sorry you don't feel you can do a Disney wedding, because it was VERY COOL to do. Have you thought about doing a small Escape wedding at Disney and then doing a big reception back home?

Good luck and ask away. We love helping others out.

 

[Missy Mouse]

It's your wedding. Period.

Do what you want - set a guest list, invite them, those who can come, fine, those who can't, sorry, but they won't DIE if they aren't at your wedding.

I wish I had done the Disney wedding instead of the big one at home for my folks. Don't make the mistake I did!

Thanks, Happymommy. If it was our families that objected I would honestly just book it anyway because I know they would get over it, but my FH is really not on board because he wants everyone to be there. Since it's his day too and because it's a major decision, I don't feel like I can override that, ya know? If I could convince him somehow I would be on the phone with DFTW right now.

 

[Missy Mouse]

Welcome to the Dis !!!

It is YOUR wedding, so you should have things the way you want them. I think your plans sound awesome and very do-able ! As for where the wedding should be, it is tradionally in the bride's hometown, so that should help with travel issues. I am sorry you don't feel you can do a Disney wedding, because it was VERY COOL to do. Have you thought about doing a small Escape wedding at Disney and then doing a big reception back home?

Good luck and ask away. We love helping others out.

That's what I said to him!! We could just elope down there and have a huge reception back home, but he feels like it won't be the same. I know he wants one too, but he doesn't want to put the burden on our families, and I do understand...it's just hard to swallow the dream, ya know?

 

[pink_tink8i8]

I say just do what you want. If you both want a disney wedding, I say you should go for it. It would be awful if you didn't because you might regret it because you tried to make everybody else happy. You could always have a small reception when you got back home with the family that couldn't come.

 

[thatdisneygirl]

It took my fiance a little while to come around to the idea of going down to FL, even though we're both Disney crazy. He had the same worries about inconveniencing everyone and the money, etc. After about a week and half, we tenatively brought up the subject with both families and found out that everyone was excited about it! it doesn't hurt to ask...


that being said, if you wanted to have a wedding at home with some disney touches, i think you could totally pull it off. one of the best things about disney is that you can really pick out the things that are special to you and incorporate them, and everyone will recognize them immediately (glass slipper, pumpkin coach, mickey/minnie...). I'm sure your wedding will be amazing, no matter where you have it, as long as you're happy!!!

 

[monana]

i think you should do whatever makes you happy. I say that but i know it's hard to make that step to the direction of what you want. my DF and i went through the same thing. We tired to please all these people and what not, but in the end we felt frustrated and sad. So we had to take time away from everyone, and talk about the things we wanted and go from there. thats the best you can do. it will be your memories.

if you choose a wedding at home, i say do the disney theme. i know that if we had decided to stay at home, we'd do the same thing.

 

[babystar]

I really think that you should both decide what you REALLY want in you're heart of hearts!! I spent months planning a wedding here in the UK as I thought that it was the right thing to do so that all my family could attend and I just hoped that as everyone else was getting excited that I would come round to the idea....guess what after all my hard work I sat down with my DF and we both admitted to each other that all we really wanted was a small Disney wedding-when we told the family the "new" news they where more happy as they could see that we were genuinly happy!! We are still having a reception in the UK for the rest of the family and I will be trying to bring a bit of Disney home with us by having disney favours and blowing up our wedding pics to a poster size, so that hopefully everyone will still have the memories that we will have. Which ever way you decide remember that it is a day you and your df want to remember as being perfect. I might be the only one but I have been to many weddings over the years and I would be upset as a guest to think that the couple did not do as they really wanted so as to invite me!!

 

[Bonelady]

I think your rehersal dinner plans sound awsome! A good caterer can make it happen! Are you planning your honeymoon in DW?

 

[hope1826]

Hi Missy Mouse,

I agree with what most of the responses have been. Weddings are really for two people, you and you fiance. Everyone elses presence is a bonus.

I had a similar problem with my DF. Both DF and I are obsessed with Disney, but he had a very hard time finally agreeing to a disney wedding. I wanted it for many reasons, the biggest is that I deserve to have a good time at MY wedding and although I love my friends and family I am very shy and I DO NOT want a big wedding. If I had a big wedding I think that the entire day I would be trying not to have a panic attack. DF felt that all of his family and friends should share the day with us. And neither of us wanted to burden our families with the expense of going to Disney.

So, we COMPROMISED!! We are inviting 44 guests (22 from my side, 22 from his side) at Disney. And we are having inviting 250 (175 from his side, 75 from my side) guests to an at-home "Bon Voyage Formal Pre-Wedding Reception" (with a jazz band and a huge wedding cake and a second wedding dress" 7 days before.

What we found was that the people we thought would be "burdened" by a Disney wedding actually booked their hotels and flights before we had signed the contract, because they were soooooo excited. And some others who couldn't afford the Disney trip are thrilled to go to the pre-wedding reception.

My intention is completely not to upset you and I may be completely wrong in what I'm about to say, but you asked for honesty, so here goes... I just think it sounds like your DF isn't really compromising ( I know this because my DF was NOT really compromising). Your wedding together, is NOT all about what he wants, and should definitely NOT be about what everyone else wants.

but he just doesn't think it's fair to ask our families to come up with the money to fly down to FL.

I think that in an attempt to be fair to others, your DF is not being fair to you.

Very nicely, I told my DF exactly that, and I asked him to imagine what his perfect wedding would be like if for some bizarre hypothetical reason no one could attend our wedding except for us... He said it would be Disney hands down. I reminded him hat he needed to make decisions based on that. It's OUR life together and our wedding day is a memory we will share together for the rest of our lives. We aren't going to be sharing this memory with our aunts and nephews for the rest of our lives. I want that memory to be one that we created together and was the perfect day for US!!

Anyway, good luck with whatever you and your DF choose. And if you do choose to have something here, a Disney theme is absolutely a perfect idea and I'm sure ladies on this board can help you!!