Brief update on my DD and the passing of her friend..Update Pg.2

[C.Ann]

First of all, both my DD and I would like to express our sincerest thanks to all who have offered their thoughts and prayers during this particularly difficult time.. It has been appreciated beyond belief and we have both derived a great deal of comfort knowing that there are good people in the world - and some of the very best right here on the DIS..

I didn't want to add this update to the other thread - it's gotten so long - and it makes me very sad to go back to a place where I thought there was still hope for this young lady.. So - please forgive me for starting yet another thread related to this tragic event, but I thought perhaps some of you might want to know how this tragedy continues to unfold..

I took my DD to the doctor today (her therapist) and after he spoke to her privately he had her go out to the waiting room and he spoke to me in private as well.. He wanted to know how I thought she was handling the situation and I told him that quite frankly I felt she "wasn't" handling it at all - that she was holding everything inside and the worst was yet to come.. He agreed 100% and seemed surprised that I would recognize that.. So - he basically just told me to continue to do what I'm doing - following her lead, more or less - and everyone should brace themselves for what will surely come later - and possibly at a totally unexpected time.. He will see her again on Friday and also gave her a cell phone number where he can be reached 24-hours a day if she feels the need to talk to him..

On to the services - or so far, lack of.. She was promised a phone call this morning that would clarify what kind of services they were going to hold, the when and where, and the "who" of people allowed to attend.. The phone call never came - and I have a very bad feeling about this.. The services will be in another part of the state (which requires travel time and a minimum of an overnight stay to attend both the viewing and the funeral) and I just have this gut feeling that they will NEVER call - they will call 15 minutes before the services are set to start - or AFTER the services are over and done with.. My DD's husband is furious that they're putting her through this hoping and waiting.. This normally super polite, rational man is ready to start ripping heads off and I have to admit that's one trip that I would LOVE to take with him..

When we came back from the doctor's today, another friend had come by and said she would stay there with my DD until her DH got home.. They were planning on gathering up photo's of this young woman and making a collage - as well as a slide show or video - for the memorial service that will be held at their place of employment..

So that's about where everything stands right now.. Just thought I'd keep you posted and once again ask that those who are so inclined say a prayer for my DD to get through this as best she can..

Thanks again - and hugs to you all...
C.Ann

 

[Robinrs]

 

[minniecarousel]

Of course, C.Ann, she will continue to be in my prayers. Perhaps your DD can be persuaded to not even consider going to "their" service for her friend. It sounds like there will (& should) be another service for her friends. I imagine your DD would be rather uncomfortable with that group anyway. You know: "they'll get theirs in the end" I truly believe that wicked people are held responsible in the long run!
Hang in there.

 

[Teris]

Sometimes people are just amazingly nasty I am glad your DD has such a supportive husband, and mother to help her thru this. It's good that you got her to her therapist so quickly. I truly hate that she is being done like this. It's wrong on so many levels.
I do think that when people do nasty things to others,, it comes back to them,, as well as doing good comes back to people.


hugs C.Ann

 

[Serena]

I'll continue to keep you all in my prayers.

She will be alright, because she has you and her husband beside her.

 

[rasnlms]

 

[CEDmom]

I'll continue to pray for your DD. Please keep us posted. This is all just so sad.

 

[doxdogy]

I am so very sorry for your DD. Please give her a big hug from, and make sure to give that precious granddaughter a big hug from her Dis Aunt.

 

[Lewisc]

C Ann--

Sorry for your loss. I didn't read the other thread and I understand customs are different in different parts of the country.

I've never heard of "guest lists" for wakes or funerals. Even Regan's viewing is open to the public. There is a guest list for his funeral but that is obviously the exception.

Prehaps instead of waiting for a phone call you could call a family member or even the funeral parlor or church to get the arrangements. In NY people put death notices in the newspaper so friends are aware of the arrangements. Again I didn't read the other thread but at the time of loss family members can't always call everyone they should.

I read the first half of the thread, I guess in this case the general rules may not apply. If there is an afternoon and evening viewing DD might just go in between. Family won't be there and the funeral parlor will usually let you pay your respects.

 

[newmousecateer]

Prayers and hugs for both you and your daugher C.Ann....

 

[DopeyRN]

I'm sorry to hear she died, though am not surprised. She was lucky to have you daughter as a friend, and your daughter is lucky to have you. You all have my prayers.

 

[*Flower*]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family C. Ann at this tragic time...

I just found this thread and had to find your original one to follow.

Bless you for your insight.

I've been trying to get myself healthier for the last 9 1/2 months, and although it's a struggle, I think that I'm making progress.

 

[Pooh67_68]

 

[KIRSTIN'S MOMMY]

Lots of hugs to you, C.Ann. I will surely keep your family in my prayers.

 

[flrose]

& prayers for all of you going thru this really difficult time. Your daughter is a very lucky young woman to have the support of such a loving family around her right now. My motto: what goes around comes around. Keep the faith!

 

[FroggyinArk]

prayers and pd and best wishes continues,,,, c ann, in case the non family havent called,, try haveing another former co worker, other than dd to call funeral parlor and get arrangements,, even try using pretense that co workers wish to send flowers, they will give the arrangements and then dd can attend a veiwing during an off time, have even sat outside across street and waited for un wanted geusts to leave for me to attend before god bless ya, hope the scholarship plans work out, that is in my book an excellent way to memorialize someone.

 

[Octoberbeauty]

 

[edcrbnsoul]

C.Ann I kept a watch on the other thread and was shocked at what those people put your DD through, you and your daughter are in my prayers, stay strong.

 

[Amy]

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by FroggyinArk
prayers and pd and best wishes continues,,,, c ann, in case the non family havent called,, try haveing another former co worker, other than dd to call funeral parlor and get arrangements,, even try using pretense that co workers wish to send flowers, they will give the arrangements and then dd can attend a veiwing during an off time, have even sat outside across street and waited for un wanted geusts to leave for me to attend before god bless ya, hope the scholarship plans work out, that is in my book an excellent way to memorialize someone.

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You sneaky devil you - I LOVE the way you think! Thanks!!