Bridesmaid vent....

[disbridemimi]

Is it really that weird that we dont want a bridal party? How is it that we have bridal party drama without a bridal party?

I have said from the beginning that we do not plan to have one. Neither me nor my fiance want any added stress for the big day. And our families = stress!

My friends and family are already complaining. This is the drama I was trying to avoid! I dont feel that they are really needed for such a small wedding. Apparently some of the fam/friends assumed they would be bridesmaids ??? One family member asked me to be one for her(I barely kknew her at the time) and she said its rude for me to not return the honor? WTH?

I am totally happy and relieved to have none. Why are people still mad?


I really think for such a simple ceremony we should be ok to skip it right?

And people have to pay to travel, why add to the cost?

Has anyone done this?

 

[lurkyloo]

Time to put on those Hater Blockers! This is your wedding - no way should you feel obligated to have bridesmaids as some sort of silly reciprocal deal. I don't know about you, but if I'd had to reciprocate for all the girls whose weddings I've been in, we'd have needed a stage!

I didn't want any attendants either. DH wanted his brother, though, so I had my brother as Man of Honor and called it a day (of course, he ended up causing almost as much drama as a gaggle of bridesmaids, but that's another story... ). It never occurred to me that my sisters in law/friends/etc. might be offended not to be chosen - I figured I'd just saved them a couple hundred bucks on a dress they'd never wear again.

Plus, by choosing no one, you aren't playing favorites or leaving anyone out. Just keep on being happy and relieved to be bridal-party-free and ignore the drama. If that's the worst thing they have to say about your wedding, you're doing really well!

 

[CharacterFan]

I totally understand where you're coming from. I have a friend who's asked me to be in her wedding and seems annoyed that I'm not asking her to be in mine. But it doesn't have to be a two way street.

We're going to have a wedding with about 30, but I wanted to have a small bridal party, without the drama. So I asked my brother to be my man of honor. My "friend" seems to remind me every time I ask about something a bridesmaid might do that I don't have someone to do that. Of course her fiance is also drama, because he's not best man when my fiance is his best man. Her wedding is causing a lot of drama, with her 4 bridesmaids.

I've come to find that there is drama either way. I haven't had any drama from either brother though. As they don't have any responsibilities. Until closer to the wedding...go get sized for your tux, show up for the rehearsal, and hold onto the rings. We're providing their ties and discussing paying for their tux rental.

 

[ElleBren]

We only had my sister as MOH and his good friend as BM. I couldn't do it with bridesmaids. Some of my friends were like oh fine. However in the end I was very happy with only my sister and mom getting ready with me instead of a ton of other women.

 

[figment fan21]

Oh where to start!!!

I myself am having a small escape wedding. DF and I made this decision after starting the whole big home wedding process and realized that the stress (family) of it all was just wayyyy too much. Not to mention we were going to be spending alot of money on something that we wouldn't be able to enjoy because of the stress. (families)

I agree with Carrie that you need to put on your hater blockers! They become very useful as a DIS bride. As far as having no bridal party I agree with you that where it is a small wedding they aren't really necessary. I also did some research and most "destination" weddings, whether in disney or not, DONT have bridal parties. Just be polite and explain that you do not want a bridal party but maybe you and your girls could spend a night out before the wedding and bond that way. There are alot of different things you can do to incorporate special people into your wedding and i'm sure that everything will work out. Remember this is your day, do what makes you and DF happy and KEEP THOSE HATER BLOCKERS ON!!!!

 

[iggbees]

i'm not engaged yet, although i'm expecting sometime very soon (i'm crossing my fingers on this)! i feel the same way as you do about a bridal party. i only want my sister and my best friend who also happens to be one of my boyfriend's best friends as well. she introduced us. i can't deal with having a large bridal party and i, like lurkyloo said, don't want to make people buy a dress that they'll never wear again. i think it would be way more fun to have a big girl's night out with all the girls that are important to you. i just don't want to deal with the stress of getting everyone fitted, at the church, blah, blah, blah. i've told my mom about my small party idea once and she was like, well what about your cousins, you've got to have them! i told her that i don't want to deal with it and knowing my cousins, they're not going to care one way or another.

so, i definitely agree with everyone else that don't let anyone make you feel bad about your wedding. in the long run, it's just not worth it and if people can't get over not being a bridesmaid, then that's their problem. i mean, it's a pretty stupid thing for them to be mad at you about.

 

[MainStMandy]

I totally agree with you!! I am having a MoH and that is IT!!! I don't need anyone but her and my mom there. I don't want the drama or nonsense...much less making people spend all that money!! Df is having 2 but that's up to him...and men are less dramatic anyway!

 

[sbsteel]

FWIW, we're not having any attendants. It'll just be me and my DF. Our friends and family will be there to support us and I figure they'll have more fun as guests than having to worry about any wedding obligations and shelling out even more money. Don't stress about it!

 

[Lynn5700]

Girl I do not blame you one bit for not having a bridal party. I'm a MOH in my BF wedding and OMG you are better off not having one.

I just had my MOH and it was soooo nice!!! No problems at all.

 

[Beep]

No bridal party for us either. My Mom is the closest to a MOH I have (for MOH read bag-carrier, bustle-arranger, hair-fixer, make-up-fixer, toilet-helper etc) and my Dad is OH's BM (for BM read get-the-groom-ready arranger, fight-to-pay-for-everything-rather-than-us, make-sure-everything-goes-smoothly, charm-everyone etc) and works brilliantly for us.

Stick with what you want, and don't want, and you will have a fab time

 

[PixyDusted]

Well, I would take their complaining as a compliment of sorts. They were probably looking forward to being a special part of your wedding and now they sort of had that dream crushed.

On the other hand I totally understand you not wanting one! I only have 3 bridesmaids for our small DCL wedding and sometimes I think it's too much!

 

[Emilita44]

AHHHH!!! I have 8 bridesmaids and 1 jr. bridesmaid!!

Consider yourself lucky! I don't know what I was thinking!!!

 

[MellyBeans]

I actually think with a destination wedding, it is actually more polite NOT to have a bridal party, and if you do, make it only family. By asking friends to be in a wedding and travel, you are asking them to fork over big bucks. I think that is kinda rude. If they come, GREAT! But don't make them feel obligated to spend the money and vacation time by putting them in a wedding party.

I say this as someone who was in three wedding party's within five months of each other. Each one was an honor to be in, but the amount of money I spent combined could have put a huge dent in my own future wedding budget. Heck, it could have gone to a down payment on a house. And none of the weddings were destination weddings either...I couldn't even imagine the expense if that were the case.

Also, the idea of reciprocating the honor of asking someone to be your bridesmaid is crap. With that logic, I will have quite the huge wedding party. It's your day. You should have the luxury of planning it any way that you like. If your girlfriends don't like it, they are acting like seventh graders with all their girl drama (can you tell I work with the middle school crowd?) If they are your real friends, they will grow up and be happy for your day, regardless of what their "place" in the party is.

 

[Cleofish]

I know this is mainly re-iterating previous posts, but you have to remember that it is YOUR wedding, and the only people that matter are you and your hubby to be. I will be having my BF there as support, as I have very little family, and DF has said he will consider asking his brother to be BM, but we don't even know if his brothers & families will make it out to the MouseHouse. The primary reason for having an escape wedding for me is that I was having 2 page boys and 3 bridesmaids (plus whoever else MIL wanted to find!) forced upon me in the UK, whereas in WDW there is no such obligation, especially as we are planning on being less traditional.

At the end of the day, the most important people on the day are you and hubby to be, everyone else is a bonus, and if friends/sisters/sister in laws really love you both they will be happy to share your day with you rather than be worried about being asked/not being asked to be bridesmaid. Just stay strong, remember it's your day and as Carrie says, pop on those Hater Blockers!

 

[girli565]

I'm not having a bridal party either. I've been in 3 of my friends weddings and hated every minute of it, so I don't want to do that to anyone else. So no bridesmaids they are just guests.

You need to do this they way you wan it done. Do not do anything you don't want. This is your day and no one elses.