Bridesmaid torture.

[dakcp2001]

My best childhood friend asked me to be in her wedding. The wedding is in April. She sent me a pic end of October of 3 dresses that they were trying to pick between but never told me which one they selected. She left me a voicemail Nov 21 telling me the dress had to be purchased NO LATER than end of November. Short notice, but didn't tell me which one she picked. I responded asking WHICH ONE had they picked. She replied on Thanksgiving saying I need to go buy the dress ASAP still didn't tell me which one. I have left her several voicemail messages, facebook messages, and sent emails. I have gotten no response. What the heck? I don't feel I should have to chase after her. I give up!!!!

 

[Art 1]

My best childhood friend asked me to be in her wedding. The wedding is in April. She sent me a pic end of October of 3 dresses that they were trying to pick between but never told me which one they selected. She left me a voicemail Nov 21 telling me the dress had to be purchased NO LATER than end of November. Short notice, but didn't tell me which one she picked. I responded asking WHICH ONE had they picked. She replied on Thanksgiving saying I need to go buy the dress ASAP still didn't tell me which one. I have left her several voicemail messages, facebook messages, and sent emails. I have gotten no response. What the heck? I don't feel I should have to chase after her. I give up!!!!

I would call and email both telling her thanks but you have decided not to be in the wedding. It's that or keep putting up with her.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I'll answer that for ya:

1. It is the MOST EXPENSIVE dress out of the 3
2. It is the UGLIEST dress out of the 3

 

[OceanAnnie]

You are right. You shouldn't have to keep calling her about it. But you know if you don't have the dress, you'll look like the witch. Not right, but you know how it goes.

Call her mom. She'll know.

I don't miss the bridesmaid days. Oh the agony. So many versions of the bad dresses, bad colors, bad accessories, hairstyles to please, inflated prices, and the appointments to have the dresses taken in. They never ordered my size to begin with. Ordered up to cut it down. Madness. I would have liked to just try on a dress in my size. But no.

Yes. The title of your thread is spot on. Bridesmaid torture. I hate to say it, but your voyage might have just begun.

 

[dakcp2001]

I'll answer that for ya:

1. It is the MOST EXPENSIVE dress out of the 3
2. It is the UGLIEST dress out of the 3

Haha! Probably!!

 

[Kellydelly]

Looks like she's either fallen off the face of the earth or decided that you don't need to be in her wedding after all. Consider it a nice gift of $$$$ saved from her .

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

That's why I let my bridesmaids pick their dresses. My colors were orange and blue. I had the bridesmaids in a bright blue (the old Broncos color) and the matron of honor in a dark blue (the new Broncos color.)

 

[JaneBanks]

Maybe you should try and contact another bridesmaid.

 

[Swan4Me]

I've been finding lots of bridal party pics on Pinterest
I like when they have the same color-but each picks the style they want

Have also seen variations of the same color

 

[kamik86]

I've been finding lots of bridal party pics on Pinterest
I like when they have the same color-but each picks the style they want

Have also seen variations of the same color

I tried to do this for my wedding but unfortunately the color I wanted (Davids Bridal Apple) wasn't the same in the seperates that one of my bridesmaids liked so she kind of got stuck.

I know one of them did wear the dress again though (granted both my bridesmaids were in high school for the wedding, she wore it again to prom since she didn't have money for a new dress and none of her friends were at my wedding anyway.)

 

[Uptown Girl]

Find a photo of the most hideous bridesmaid dress you can, maybe with a HUGE hat even, send that in an email saying you just wanted to confirm that this was the dress you were to order--see if she replies to that.

 

[goofinoff]

Find a photo of the most hideous bridesmaid dress you can, maybe with a HUGE hat even, send that in an email saying you just wanted to confirm that this was the dress you were to order--see if she replies to that.

 

[Coconut36]

Find a photo of the most hideous bridesmaid dress you can, maybe with a HUGE hat even, send that in an email saying you just wanted to confirm that this was the dress you were to order--see if she replies to that.

Ha..that might get her to finally respond!

What a pain to deal with! Can you contact the bride to be mother or someone else you know is a bridesmaid to find out?

 

[lovetoscrap]

Is she working with one particular store that all the dresses are being ordered from? If so you can call the store and give them her name and see if they have the information. They should know which she decided on.

 

[dakcp2001]

Find a photo of the most hideous bridesmaid dress you can, maybe with a HUGE hat even, send that in an email saying you just wanted to confirm that this was the dress you were to order--see if she replies to that.

Now THIS is a great plan. lol.

I refuse to buy any dress until she responds. If she even HINTS at letting me out of this bridal party I am JUMPING at the chance. Every time I agree to being a bridemaid I say never again. Ugh. It is like being punished, and having to pay for it.

 

[Gigi22]

In a case such as this I would telephone your friend's mom and say something like, "I'm so sorry, but in my excitement over being in the wedding party, I must have accidentally deleted Mary Jane's email about her final choice for the bridesmaids dresses. I haven't managed to track Mary Jane down to straighten up my confusion over the dress, and I was wondering if you could tell me which dress was selected, or if you could please ask Mary Jane to call me back with her decision--or send me her original email again."

I know, it sucks. But, the bride is your friend, and you do want to help her out--so time to put on the big girl panties (someone has to) and deal with the mess before you lose a friend out of missed communication.

 

[dakcp2001]

In a case such as this I would telephone your friend's mom and say something like, "I'm so sorry, but in my excitement over being in the wedding party, I must have accidentally deleted Mary Jane's email about her final choice for the bridesmaids dresses. I haven't managed to track Mary Jane down to straighten up my confusion over the dress, and I was wondering if you could tell me which dress was selected, or if you could please ask Mary Jane to call me back with her decision--or send me her original email again."

I know, it sucks. But, the bride is your friend, and you do want to help her out--so time to put on the big girl panties (someone has to) and deal with the mess before you lose a friend out of missed communication.

You are kidding, right?

 

[scrump]

My best childhood friend asked me to be in her wedding. The wedding is in April. She sent me a pic end of October of 3 dresses that they were trying to pick between but never told me which one they selected. She left me a voicemail Nov 21 telling me the dress had to be purchased NO LATER than end of November. Short notice, but didn't tell me which one she picked. I responded asking WHICH ONE had they picked. She replied on Thanksgiving saying I need to go buy the dress ASAP still didn't tell me which one. I have left her several voicemail messages, facebook messages, and sent emails. I have gotten no response. What the heck? I don't feel I should have to chase after her. I give up!!!!

Sounds to me like you've covered your ground (phone, email, facebook, etc). I'm sure you have better things to do than to chase her down for her own freakin' wedding.

I, too, will never be a bridesmaid again. Good luck, OP.

 

[bumbershoot]

That's why I let my bridesmaids pick their dresses. My colors were orange and blue. I had the bridesmaids in a bright blue (the old Broncos color) and the matron of honor in a dark blue (the new Broncos color.)

If only my friends had let me do this. They said it was too hard.

Is she working with one particular store that all the dresses are being ordered from? If so you can call the store and give them her name and see if they have the information. They should know which she decided on.

Yes, this.

I guess you can play games and wait for her to respond, but there are faster ways to get the info, and if you actually want a friendship with the woman after her wedding, you'll take one of the faster ways. Most brides are under tremendous amounts of stress and pressure while planning their weddings, and you are probably not going to get a dress ordered now anyway, because you're beyond the timeline. The timeline was probably put there by the dress store.

During my own planning, I found a line of separates that had nice tops, and the store would let us order JUST the tops...my maid of honor loves to sew, and her dad worked for a store that sold real, good, bridal fabric, so I got a lovely silk dupioni and my friend made everyone long a-line skirts to their measurements. One friend waited ages to order, and was really stressed that it was not going to arrive in time. Another friend ignored my firm statements that she HAD TO get herself measured, and to order the size that the measurements told her to order, to not go rogue and order what she WANTED, and ended up with a top WAY too small for her. Ended up having to rush order a new top, and ended up paying something like three times the cost of the top, because of it. Totally her fault, and while I felt bad for her, I knew that everyone had told her (and she was the first-married of my buddies, so she of all people should have known!).


These timelines are given to brides by the stores, and need to be followed.

But it doesn't sound like you want a relationship with her anyway, so maybe you could just have the kindness to TELL her that you're out? I had a friend pretty much disappear after I'd finally chosen the separates line; she never responded to emails again, and except for a "is that you?" facebook contact (which I deleted immediately) years later, I never heard from her again. It was sad at the time, but... (what was annoying is that it was her body-type that was throwing off everything for getting ONE dress, so I went through the trouble of finding something that could really work for nothing! It was also the cheapest way to go, at about $70 for the top and something pretty low to pay for my maid of honor's time...and the price point was also lowered for her budget)

 

[dakcp2001]

If only my friends had let me do this. They said it was too hard.



Yes, this.

I guess you can play games and wait for her to respond, but there are faster ways to get the info, and if you actually want a friendship with the woman after her wedding, you'll take one of the faster ways. Most brides are under tremendous amounts of stress and pressure while planning their weddings, and you are probably not going to get a dress ordered now anyway, because you're beyond the timeline. The timeline was probably put there by the dress store.

During my own planning, I found a line of separates that had nice tops, and the store would let us order JUST the tops...my maid of honor loves to sew, and her dad worked for a store that sold real, good, bridal fabric, so I got a lovely silk dupioni and my friend made everyone long a-line skirts to their measurements. One friend waited ages to order, and was really stressed that it was not going to arrive in time. Another friend ignored my firm statements that she HAD TO get herself measured, and to order the size that the measurements told her to order, to not go rogue and order what she WANTED, and ended up with a top WAY too small for her. Ended up having to rush order a new top, and ended up paying something like three times the cost of the top, because of it. Totally her fault, and while I felt bad for her, I knew that everyone had told her (and she was the first-married of my buddies, so she of all people should have known!).


These timelines are given to brides by the stores, and need to be followed.

But it doesn't sound like you want a relationship with her anyway, so maybe you could just have the kindness to TELL her that you're out? I had a friend pretty much disappear after I'd finally chosen the separates line; she never responded to emails again, and except for a "is that you?" facebook contact (which I deleted immediately) years later, I never heard from her again. It was sad at the time, but... (what was annoying is that it was her body-type that was throwing off everything for getting ONE dress, so I went through the trouble of finding something that could really work for nothing! It was also the cheapest way to go, at about $70 for the top and something pretty low to pay for my maid of honor's time...and the price point was also lowered for her budget)

Ever heard the saying "your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for me?" If the bridal store gave her a deadline, she needs to be on top of that.

I have done my due diligence in hunting her down. At this point it is her responsibility to respond. I do not care how busy you are as the bride, after you have gotten numerous messages from someone, you need to take responsibility and take care of the details. I am not willing to go drop a ton of money on a dress only to have it be the wrong one. That would just be stupid. If she has changed her plans again (she has waffled on the actual date of the wedding a few times) she needs to let me know. This is a 36 year old woman we are talking about here.