Bridal Shower

[allisonswonderland]

Hey-
How many people are you having at your shower? My aunt, and mom's 2 best friends are throwing it along w/ 2 of my maids. Anyway his mom has 52 people on the list and wants enough invitations so she could invite 5 more. We have about 35 people, but my mom and I both feel that 100 people at a shower is unmanageable! Help! Also some of the people on her list are co workers who she has worked with for 1 year- I could see some that have been close for 10-15 yrs,...........help

 

[DisneyBrideWannabe]

Not having one. Actually I didn't really want one. WE thought having people pay to come to Disney is enough and we are having a reception at home, so people can give us stuff them. DF and I are living in sin so we don't need a blender or china. I love going to showers though (free food).

 

[Kae]

One of my friends showers had about 75 people. She had one shower. it was thrown by the aunts on both sides. It was at a Nice hall & catered. the bridesmaids opened the gifts, the bride read the cards & held up the gifts. I kept breaking all the ribbons It was different but very nice. They were both from large families.

Kae

 

[princessblueeyzes]

Not having one. Actually I didn't really want one. WE thought having people pay to come to Disney is enough and we are having a reception at home, so people can give us stuff them. DF and I are living in sin so we don't need a blender or china. I love going to showers though (free food).

That is so funny because that is exctly how I feel DF and I too are living in sin as well. My grandma is very religious and lets me know everytime I talk to her that I need to go to the JOP just to correct my actions of living in sin, eventhough we are getting married this December.

 

[LouisianaDisneyFan]

You might consider splitting them up into two showers... one for DF's side of the guest list, and one for your side. That way you could incorporate games and getting to know you activities into your shower and make it more of a party rather than just a gift-giving time. For the shower for Kate's side, one of the activities was a "fashion show" of gowns. About 50 people attended and we divided the guests into teams to create gowns of their own design from toilet paper. One person from each group modeled, one was the announcer, etc. Kate and the rest of the bridal party served as the "judges". It was a ton of fun and encouraged a lot of interaction. Here's a pic of some of the "models" in their fashions:

Since some of your shower guests won't be able to attend your nuptials, I think offering them something very fun for your shower would be a way to make them feel truly a part of the festivities. There are a lot of really cute shower ideas out there that work well for 50 or fewer people, but I think it would be difficult to organize something interactive for a group of 100. Good luck! ~Ev

 

[WDWAurora]

Most showers here are large like that. I had 2 smaller ones, with very specific audiences (people in a particular city, church) that were ~10-15. For my big one-probably 100. At least that many invited for sure. It worked well. We don't do games or anything like that here anyway, so it didn't matter. We gathered, mingled, ate, then I opened gifts with my MOH's help (and various other assistants). I called out who each gift was from though so they'd interrupt the visiting long enough to see me open the gift they had given. I like the big ones...Love all the opportunities for talking to everyone!

 

[allisonswonderland]

My concern is that we can not really ask my mom's friends to pay to feed 100 people- We thought about his mom's side having a seperate one....but she is himhawing around- granted she can not ask someone to throw me a shower, but then again she expects that she should invite people that I barely know and then continued to explain to me how they will all bring their kids.........AAAAHHHH!!!!!! She actually screamed at me!

 

[LouisianaDisneyFan]

AAAAHHHH!!!!!! She actually screamed at me!

Okay, now see... that would be a deal breaker for me. If you give in to her opinion on this now, you are rewarding her awful behavior. There's no reason for adults to scream at each other! You're right that it's unfair for your mom's friends to foot the bill for that many extra people, especially when they are strangers. If it's SO important that your FMIL's friends attend a shower, then surely one of them will step up to the plate and offer to host something. I really believe allowing her to dictate the plan is going to set up a precedent that will be hard to break in the future. Good luck with this! ~Ev

 

[sarah_n_brian2006]

Whos hosting is really who can choose, if she wants those people, have her own. If she still still still refuses, tell her that the host will need money to pay for all those people. Most brides have 2-5 showers anyways. Most importantly, do not let this ruin your fun!

 

[allisonswonderland]

But what do you do when no one is offering to have a shower? His mom thinks I am crazy b/c i need a wedding list NOW and the wedding is not until Nov- in fcat she is also mad that she had to do a shower list and the shower will not be until Sept - but my aunt owns her own business and is so busy as is my cousin and they need the info so theycan plan when it is convenient for them. The trouble is my Aunt is wonderful and so generous that if we present this issue to her, she will pay for it and she has done so much for me already!My fiance sugguested that she help with this shower but I think that she would be more of a problem--

 

[Chrissie-riel]

Try not to let it bother you; you have enough to worry about planning the wedding. After all, the idea of a shower is for your friends and family to "shower you" with gifts for your new home. Let them plan it the way that they want to and don't worry about helping them through it! If the host of your big shower asks your in laws for a guest list, then sit back and enjoy the 100+ person event. If the host doesn't ask your in laws for a list, then it is up to their family to plan (or not plan) one of their own. No biggie! I was lucky enough to have 4 showers - one for each side of the family, a small one at work, and a Couples shower for the friends. (That was the most fun, by the way!)

EDIT - OK, just re-read the original post and saw that his family already gave an invitation list and now wants to increase it. HMMM... Which means she has no intention of throwing (i.e. paying) for a shower of her own. I guess the only options you have are to just let her do it. Or, tell her that the shower is limited in space or money for food and that she unfortunately can't invite the extras. Perhaps that would prompt her to help out a little more. Although, I remember from many of your earlier threads that your FMIL isn't exactly a helpful person!

Good luck! And post some pictures after it's over!

 

[allisonswonderland]

OK well hopefully things are worked out- her friends are going to throw me a shower- but she wants to do a shower other than household, which if there will be different people, I would prefer to just have a household shower- is that appropriate?
Thanks for your help!