Bridal Shower Etiquette?

[Eeyores Butterfly]

In two weeks I am going with Aaron to his family reunion. I just found out that the ladies have decided to throw me a bridal shower. I've been trying to look up etiquette, I want to make sure I don't offend anybody, but everything seems geared towards the one throwing the party. Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

I'm unsure of exactly what you're asking. Are you concerned that it's a family reunion and somehow it will affect the bridal shower? If they're throwing it for you, just go and enjoy. Smile at every gift regardless of whether or not it's hideous (honey, I got some WEIRD gifts including embarrassing skimpy lingerie at the shower my grandmother threw for me). Thank them all profusely, especially the people who planned it. Just be gracious and you'll be fine! Oh, and rave about the food. That's always a nice thing for the hostess to hear, that the food was good!

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I guess I'm not really sure either. Other than my cousins' shower when I was 16, I've never been to one. What kind of gift do I get the hostess? (It's their aunt whom I've met once or twice but know pretty much nothing about). Are the thank you cards for the shower supposed to be as fancy as the ones for the wedding itself? If you are asked to open the gifts at the shower, is it considered rude to do so? (It seems like I remember reading somewhere that it was.) I've met this side of the family briefly once before. They are super nice and I'm just nervous I'm going to accidentally do or say something rude.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Send thank you cards after the shower in a timely fashion.

When you open the gifts be sure to say who it's from and hold it up so everyone can see it. Example, it's bath towels from Aunt Sally (hold them up), thank you Aunt Sally!

 

[3prettyprincesses]

Oh, I'm sure you'll do fine! Just the fact that you're asking for advice shows that you care about their feelings and the effort they are putting into the shower for you.

The thank you cards I used were not as fancy as my wedding invitations. They are lots of pretty ones at craft stores that won't cost too much but will still look classy.

I had several bridal showers and opened all my presents there. I think it's nicer that way for the people giving the gifts, they want to see how much you like what they gave.

As far as what to get the hostess, I gave Bath & Body works stuff. Nice lotions, things like that. Or a nice candle. Honestly, the hostess will probably be thrilled with just the thank you card.

Like I said, I'm sure you'll do just fine! Showers are supposed to be fun and relaxed. Just remember to smile and thank everyone and I'll bet they'll think you're the sweetest fiance in the world! Good luck and try not to stress over it.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I am confused as well.

I'd just go with the flow and maybe treat it as any other social event you would attend (ie bring a hostess gift if that is what you usually do).

Then come and update us on the DIS and all the etiquette experts will chime in.


I never had a shower. My sil did and they opened gifts. It seems to
go either way but that rule about not opening gifts has disappeared in some regions. If the hostess expects you to open them--I would open them.

As for thank you notes...I'm guessing you are talking about the formal ones that are often ordered with your invites....if you have them, use them. But no need to do something super fancy. Dare I say a pack from Hallmark or Walmart will suffice as long as the content of what you write is gracious.

 

[poohfriend77]

Relax! Showers are supposed to be fun!

I don't think a hostess gift is necessary, although it's a nice thought. Maybe some flowers or something? The most important thing is to thank her, in person and with a card after the fact. Thank you cards are usually pretty informal, just simple cards from Wal-Mart or a party store.

The main point of a shower is to give you gifts and watch you open them! It's definitely not considered rude. Gush over everything, send thank you cards afterward, and you'll be fine.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

No, it's not rude to open gifts at the shower at all, it's expected.

 

[Piglet4Ever]

The whole point of a wedding or baby shower is to socialize, eat and open gifts. That is what you have one for. When is your wedding? Did you register anywhere for gifts? If you did you should let the people giving you the shower know, that way you have a better chance of getting what you want or need. Usually when you are opening gifts someone writes down the gift and who gave it to you so that way when you are doing up thank you cards you can personalize them. I don't think a hostess gift is necessary, they are throwing a party for you. Maybe you can take a plant or some flowers to give the hostess as a thank you but that would be about it in my opinion. Just have fun and enjoy your new soon to be family!!

 

[Scurvy]

Just go and enjoy it! Any thank you cards would be fine, they don't need to actually be thank you cards specifically; you could even use cute blank notecards and write a little note to each person. A hostess gift is a nice gesture, but shouldn't be anything big. I agree with poohfriend77 that flowers would be nice, or something like a bottle of wine or candy to be enjoyed after the shower is over. It's pretty normal to open gifts at a shower, and it's always good to say something nice about everything as you open it, and to mention who it's from.

Most of the etiquette advice is aimed at the hosts because they have all sorts of details to deal with. As the guest of honor, there really isn't anything you'd have to worry about doing "wrong", so don't stress about it. As long as you don't react in horror when you open a crazy "what were they thinking?!" type gift (because there always seems to be at least one of those), and as long as you thank everyone, you'll do fine. Have fun!

 

[tonilea]

It sounds like the hostess is in an older-than-you generation. Thank her profusely and tell her what you have told us.... you have only been to one shower and you don't want to make an innocent mistake and offend someone..... It would be endearing and I bet she would be delighted to "take you under her wing about local customs".

 

[chloelovesdisney]

By the way, you're not supposed to cut the ribbons on the gifts with scissors, it's considered bad luck. Unless you are like my one friend that loudly announced that she wouldn't be observing that usual tradition because she makes her own luck, lol. Then go right ahead and cut away, even if it makes your future SIL obviously cringe in disgust.

 

[NAB]

And they will make you a lovely hat or bouquet out of the ribbons. Then make you take a picture with it on your head. The bouquet is meant to carry the night of your rehearsal I have been told.

Like others said enjoy. Most people try to surprise you , good thing you know then you can dress nice. I was in the worse outfit the day of mine...surprise indeed.

I agree with the simple thank you cards. There are actually some nice ones out there at Walmart/Target etc.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

The whole point of a wedding or baby shower is to socialize, eat and open gifts. That is what you have one for. When is your wedding? Did you register anywhere for gifts? If you did you should let the people giving you the shower know, that way you have a better chance of getting what you want or need. Usually when you are opening gifts someone writes down the gift and who gave it to you so that way when you are doing up thank you cards you can personalize them. I don't think a hostess gift is necessary, they are throwing a party for you. Maybe you can take a plant or some flowers to give the hostess as a thank you but that would be about it in my opinion. Just have fun and enjoy your new soon to be family!!

The wedding is not until December. We are registered at the behest of my parents, and his mother already shared the info with them. I also got an email asking about our colors, hobbies, etc.

 

[tonilea]

Can you register at Barnes and Noble? LOL Just kidding, I know how you love to read.

 

[DebbieB]

Any shower (wedding or baby) I've ever been to the gifts are opened in front of everyone, that is the best part, seeing what they got! Usually someone volunteers to assist the bride by writing down who the gifts were from and what they were. Usually the maid of honor if she is there. This will help you with the thank you cards (thank you for the lovely ______).

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Sounds like most of the shower points were covered. Now go, have fun, enjoy your premarriage stuff.

And yes, save the ribbons and bows to make your rehearsal bouquet.