Break up advice for a friend

[LizzySwan1022]

Hello DIS Universe,

So my friend just broke up with her boyfriend, and I'm looking for advice on how to cheer her up. This girl may infact be the nicest sweetest person I've ever met, and though I don't know the circumstances of the break up right now, I know she doesn't deserve any sort of the pain associated with this break up.

Having never really been in a relationship, I cannot accurately say that I understand the pain my friend is in, and so I turn to the older, more emotionaly mature DISers out there in hopes that you can help me with this conundrum.

How can I help put a band-aid on my friends broken heart?

Thanks to all who reply!

 

[WhateverLolaWants]

Tell her to wallow briefly and then begin to pick herself back up. Delete him from her phone, Facebook/Myspace, put any photos/mementos in a box in the back of the closet, cut off ties from him at least for now. And my favorite tip is tell her to never leave the house without looking her best as if it's a possibility that she might run into him. Now this sounds like such a Cosmo tip, but putting effort into her appearance will make her feel better about herself.

Things that you can do include getting her mind off of the situation. Take her out on the town - go dancing, go to a party, anything. Really great if there's lots of other people involved. I call this "going camping." After my first breakup, I finally realized I was over it when I went camping with a friend and some guys she knew. Being the arrogant 20 year old I was back then, I was hit on by 2 out of the 3 guys and I realized "hey, I'm hot. I'll be fine." After every time I end things with a guy, I need to surround myself with lots of people and have a good time to realize life is not over, but just beginning again.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Sometimes being angry helps the most!

I remember when I was in college and my DH (well... back then my DBF ) broke up with me (he later came crawling back ), I was just so mad.

Out of that whole breakup, the crying, the being sad, everything... the one thing I remember most was my friend who told me, "If you want, I'll go to his work and slash his tires!"

Granted, I knew my friend would never, it was great to laugh and imagine him in a miserable situation.

But, help your friend stay busy (I don't recommend doing anything really that couples do or that might involve being around couples. My friends took me to a Britney Spears concert where there was nothing but love and kissing couples all around! LOL!), call and ask how she is doing, help her throw away, burn, trash (or is she prefers, look at, store in a shoebox...) everything associated with the relationship.

You are a great friend, and I am sure she appreciates you!

Oh, and I agree! Be prepared. There is something about breaking up, ALWAYS looking your best, and ALWAYS secretly looking to spot him when you are out!

 

[Uuaww]

.

Out of that whole breakup, the crying, the being sad, everything... the one thing I remember most was my friend who told me, "If you want, I'll go to his work and slash his tires!"

QUOTE]

WOAH! DO NOT offer to go slash the tires. I had my tires slashed once by an Ex-GF.... wasn't happy about it.

 

[Hessie628]

Be a great listener! My friend broke up w/her bf a couple of months ago. I had told her if she felt the urge to call him or felt upset to call me. She did several times. I was there to just listen. I also told her to delete his numbers even though she has them memorized. I also suggested she put all memories of him in a box. She may not want to destroy them...yet. I still have stuff in a box from an ex. I couldn't look at it for months and then forgot about it. Now I'm thinking about wearing some of the jewelry again. Some of it is very nice (I taught him well) and don't associate it w/him. One thing my friend said to me was that she liked calling me and I was the only person she could be completely honest with b/c I didn't judge her or make too many comments. So while your friend is going through this know it could be a roller coaster ride for her and make sure she knows how much you care about her. I agree you need to do something fun, (my friend is coming to WDW w/me in a few weeks!!!!!!) but be prepared she may not enjoy herself initially. It will take time. unfortunately know one knows for each person how long that will be.

You are obviously a great friend- your posting on here shows that. Good luck helping your friend!

-Jessica

 

[LizzySwan1022]

Thank you guys for all of the advice.

Although I have yet to offer to actually cause property damage at the moment, I've brought up voodoo dolls, which I hope will help her, although I don't think she realized I wasn't joking.

She's unfortunately away until tomorrow for school stuff, which me and that I can't get to her right now, and her best friend who she's known since birth is out of the country and can't be reached right now. However the instant she gets back I plan to either take her out and shop or go to a movie, followed by mass chocolate consumption, bring her to my house for a man-hate party, during which mass chocolate consumption will take place, or if she wants to/is ready to, go to her house to help her with all those pesky reminders that I'm sure are hanging around her room... also see if she wants me to print some cutesy pics I have of him and her and burn them or something, of course, in this scenario there will still be mass chocolate consumption.

 

[becjlek]

Be sure to remind her that it is HIS loss not hers.