Boys and "Violent" Toys

[becka]

I almost hesitate to post this because I don't want to start a huge debate but I am wondering where others stand on these kinds of issues. I know that boys will be boys to a certain extent and even if you don't give them toy guns they make everything into a gun. I am certainly not anti toy gun but I would prefer it if DS would not play quite so violently...does that make sense? He has water guns and we have asked DS to not point at people and say he is shooting them while playing. He can point at "things" but not people however he often forgets this rule while in the middle of playing.

DS LOVES the power rangers and 98% of his play lately is shooting, kicking and fighting. I really wish he would tone it down a little just because he is so active while playing power rangers - he is practically bouncing off the walls! LOL! I am starting to look at toys to buy him for Christmas and I know he would love to have some of these power ranger weapons and action figures, etc.. but I feel like I would really be encouraging him to play even more violently. Is this just something I need to learn to live with? I am not concerned that playing power ranger is going to lead to criminal behavior but I guess I just feel like maybe I don't need to encourage it any further than his already active imagination.

Any thoughts?

 

[Beth76]

I struggle with this as well. My son does not have any toy guns (well a few water guns), but he still makes things into guns. And he LOVES Power Rangers. I had to make him stop watching it for awhile because he and his friends were playing PR at school and they were getting too rough. So after several months without watching it, the behavior got much better. Of course, my son is older than yours (almost 4-1/2) and I think he understood the consequence more. He is getting back into the PR again, but this time he seems to understand that he can't be as rough--so far anyway.

I think you're right to tell him not to shoot at people. I think allowing the behavior, but monitoring it and teaching respect (as much as you can) is the best we can do because, after all, boys will be boys. And I have TWO boys, so I've really got my work cut out for me!

 

[RobynK]

My boys (now 13 and12) were really into Power Rangers when they first came out. They also played very rough until I stopped letting them watch. Then they started playing like "boys" LOL just not as rough!

 

[drgnfly30]

I tended not to buy either of my sons toy guns or weapons when they were little... maybe nerf guns or super soakers but never one that looked like an actual weapon. Both of them were a bit hyper when they were little & play could easily escalate... so I can see where you are coming from.

You didn't mention his age but have you considered enrolling him in Karate? My friend has all 3 of her younger boys in it ... it may redirect his 'enthusiam' & teach him some self control? Plus he'd learn how to 'fight' like his beloved Power Rangers!!

 

[dmslush]

I have a girl, so we never really had many toy guns or anything. But, I banned power rangers from the house when she came running at me screaming, "I am the pink ranger!" and kicked the fire out of my shin! No more power rangers after that!!

 

[EthansMom]

My son is 4. We also have to tell him not to squirt people with water guns (he only has the really pretend ones). I also confiscated and threw out the lighted sword from WDW pretty quickly (within weeks) after he was given it by a family friend because he was using it to hit furniture, walls, people...

We don't have any power rangers, no spongebob, etc. We only have basic-basic cable (13 channels), in part to control the amount of junk that the kids watch. The only television the kids watch during the week is PBS cartoons and children's programming: Clifford the Big Red Dog, George Shrinks, Sesame Street, The Big Comfy Couch, Dragontales, and Cyberchase (though a lot of Cyberchase goes over DS's head). I love PBS! PBS also carries Bob the Builder and Thomas the Tank Engine now and has Jakers on the weekends.

On Saturdays, DS will occasionally catch Dora the Explorer, The Backyardigans, etc. on the Nick Jr. show (one of the major channels -- can't remember which).

Lately, DS has been showing some interest in characters like Spiderman and Superman, but since the movies aren't appropriate for his age and the cartoons aren't on basic cable, he only has a few of the colorbooks and the like.

It's so difficult to filter what kids see and hear. Luckily, my son doesn't like to play with boys that are "mad" (his term for aggressive), so we haven't had much of a problem with hitting and kicking, but pushing and laying on top of his sister is another issue!

 

[becka]

I struggle with this as well. My son does not have any toy guns (well a few water guns), but he still makes things into guns. And he LOVES Power Rangers. I had to make him stop watching it for awhile because he and his friends were playing PR at school and they were getting too rough. So after several months without watching it, the behavior got much better. Of course, my son is older than yours (almost 4-1/2) and I think he understood the consequence more. He is getting back into the PR again, but this time he seems to understand that he can't be as rough--so far anyway.

I think you're right to tell him not to shoot at people. I think allowing the behavior, but monitoring it and teaching respect (as much as you can) is the best we can do because, after all, boys will be boys. And I have TWO boys, so I've really got my work cut out for me!

Well I am glad I am not the only one. DS's daycare teacher told DS that he can only play PR's outside on the playground and at home - not in the classroom because he was just getting too rough there. I may have to make him stop watching but somehow I don't think that will stop him from playing PR's very much.

This is kind of tough because I don't want to make a big deal about nothing but at the same time I just want to teach my son what is and what is not appropriate.

 

[diznygirl]

DS has never watched PR - but now in Kindergarten plays them on the playground with two of his friends. I don't know how rough they get there, but at home he doesn't do it.

And yes, they make guns out of everything. DS has made them out of Legos for years. He usually makes rockets, but then they have to have blasters.

It's hard-wired into their DNA - there's no way around it!

 

[Twinkles6892]

I used to watch PR, but when I was 4 I showed my dad what I had "learned". Well, I learned to kick people in the groins I guess. I didn't watch it again.

 

[va32h]

My ds(5) has three toy guns and does not play Power Rangers at all -- so perhaps the cure for Power Rangers is guns! (no, just kidding)

Ds is very into playing cowboy. Two of the guns are part of his holster, which he wears with his boots, hat and other assorted regalia. One of his little friends is the son of a policeman, so they play "cops & robbers" too.

He also has a toy musket for those occasions when he and his father re-enact crucial Civil War battles (please, don't ask).

He isn't allowed to point them at (real) people. In all his games, he and his playmates are all the "good guys" and the "bad guys" are imaginary, or represented by stuffed animals, my broom, his sister's dolls (if she is not home).

He also has a couple of plastic swords and he and his dad get into swordfights. Sometimes dh will be a pirate, and ds will have to try and rescue his sisters.

Although they still sometimes get carried away, I have found that it helps to have an adult join in the "boisterous" play because then I (or his dad) can re-direct him if things are starting to get out of hand.

I do really think it is a "boy" thing. Ds spent nearly 18 months with no male influence at all - the only male in a houseful of girls, girly toys, girly things - and he still liked to smash and destroy.

 

[DukeStreetKing]

Well, from a guy's perspective I don't see the big problem with playing with toy guns. My friends and I always had cap guns, water pistols, fake semi automatic machine guns and even air rifles. We were always playing cowboys and indians and SWAT (LOL). My best friend also had very real guns that he handled with his father and older brother. None of us turned into criminals or ever committed any kind of crime.

We were always wrestling with each other and even had a couple of real fights. It is all just part of growing up and being a boy.

As long as it is just play, there is no harm. My mom never let me have any real guns, but I knew the dangers of them and learned how to properly handle them while in the Boy Scouts.

Just let them have their fun at the appropriate time and place and everything will be fine. Yes, there will be accidents and probably a broken bone or two, but that's part of growing up also.

 

[Aidensmom]

DS 4 has squirt guns and toy swords, and he loved Power Rangers long before he had ever seen them on TV.

He pretends his squirt guns are real guns, and also builds guns out of legos or uses his finger. He is not allowed to pretend to shoot people or animals, and he is fine with that. He is not allowed to hit anything with the swords, or they get taken away. He loves them too much to let that happen, he plays Pirate all the time. DH and I will occassionally swordfight with him, and the game is over if it gets out of hand. I guess what I am saying is I don't think there is anything wrong with boys wanting to play like this, we just need to keep them in control.

 

[welovewdw]

Well, from a guy's perspective I don't see the big problem with playing with toy guns. My friends and I always had cap guns, water pistols, fake semi automatic machine guns and even air rifles. We were always playing cowboys and indians and SWAT (LOL).

You sound just like my dh - that is exactly what he said when our ds (now 14) was WAY into power rangers. (for 4 Halloweens in a row, he was a different color power ranger. ) And really, dh was right (I believe he'd pay money to hear me say that! ) dh always said he turned out fine - and isn't a violent criminal and he watched cowboy movies that weren't any worse than power rangers. and so far, ds is a pretty normal 14 yo kid - no violent tendencies, no fighting, etc. (knock on wood.LOL)

I'll let you know how it turns out in 6-7 more years. LOL

 

[oogieboogie]

I have 2 DSs. One is 7yrs old and the other is 4yrs old. Both are very into armies, military, guns, power rangers etc. Typical, normal boys.

At first I was hesitant about them playing with guns. But I gradually let them when my oldest was 5. Now, my 7yr old plays Battlefield and other battle/military games on the computer. He even plays it online with other people over the internet. He wrestles with his brother who wrestles back.

However, I have always and constantly drummed into both kids that real guns are dangerous. Real guns can kill, and that what they see in the movies or in a computer game/video game is pretend and not real at all. They have a couple of the realistic looking guns, and they know not to point it at each other, not to shoot towards the face, and they know they're not supposed to even take it outside and point at people.

As it stands, to this day they still love watching anything military, they play battle games online, they wrestle and play normal boys stuff, but I'm not afraid they will grow up to be violent adults. DSs are good kids, very polite at school, never bullies anyone, very well liked, has many friends, does well in school. DS4 still watches Blues Clues, loves Noggin, and loves stuff animals.

I guess the old saying of boys will be boys is somewhat true. However, I know firsthand that letting them play video games that have some shooting in it, or playing battle games on the computer, or having a toy gun isn't going to make them more violent than boys that do not do those things. If you meet my boys, you'd never believe the things they do.

 

[foolishmortal]

Well, from a guy's perspective I don't see the big problem with playing with toy guns. My friends and I always had cap guns, water pistols, fake semi automatic machine guns and even air rifles. We were always playing cowboys and indians and SWAT (LOL). My best friend also had very real guns that he handled with his father and older brother. None of us turned into criminals or ever committed any kind of crime.

We were always wrestling with each other and even had a couple of real fights. It is all just part of growing up and being a boy.

As long as it is just play, there is no harm. My mom never let me have any real guns, but I knew the dangers of them and learned how to properly handle them while in the Boy Scouts.

Just let them have their fun at the appropriate time and place and everything will be fine. Yes, there will be accidents and probably a broken bone or two, but that's part of growing up also.

Gotta agree with you!! Another guy here who says no harm at all!!!!!!

As long as you raise your kids to know right from wrong and reality from fantasy you are ok.

How come you never here people complain that girls play with barbies who are fake as fake can be and make girls self concious just like tv makes girls out to be...but boys and guns are the problem??? Sorry but I have a problem with most girl toys more than boy toys..and I have 2 sons.

Look at most girl toys, vacuums, cooking sets, fake plastic unrealistic bodied girls???

So if a girl plays with all these will they become a housewife who has plastic surgery to gain self satisfation???

Just saying.....lol,

again to th OP, raise your kids to know right from wrong and reality from fantasy you'll be ok.

 

[wasabi girl]

I had girls so didn't have this problem exactly. I wonder though, if, as parents if we make things too hard for ourselves by worrying about so many things. When my brother and I were growing up (I'm a girl by the way) we had toy guns, played cops and robbers, cowboys and indians, had little boxing gloves...and so on. I'm sure my parents didn't worry about it, and we didn't either. We played, had fun, grew up, now we are both reasonably well adjusted upstanding adults...but you know this was back in the 70s when we all lived dangerously eating twinkies, kool aid and everything else with artificial colors, artificial flavors, preservatives, and loads of sugar.