Boy/Girl Party for DS13 - HELP!

[Bearvet]

DS13 decided to postpone his birthday party (birthday was in March) until June so he could have a pool party. He wants an evening party with a cookout and plans to invite 20 boys and girls. This is his first boy/girl party and the girls seem pretty agressive as far as the boys go (not that the boys are minding!). DH and I will both be chaperoning the party - my question is Do we need additional parents to help supervise? We are in a heavily wooded area (concerned about couples taking off together), have a pool and a hot tub and will probably build a bonfire when it gets dark. Should we plan any activities or let them just hang out (we also have a game room in the basement)? I want the kids to have some freedom, but I want parents to know that their kids will be safe.

I was thinking maybe 6PM - 11PM - what do you think? Any thoughts are appreciated since DS17 always chose to take a few close friends to a professional sports event instead of having a big party!

 

[MamaLema]

No advice, but just wanted to say what nice and BRAVE parents you are

 

[buddy&wooz]

I'd suggest recruiting a few friends to help chaperone. Or maybe even some HS aged kids- they just LOVE to boss around the younger ones and I've found them pretty reliable. In fact maybe even hire a lifeguard- I know I'd feel a bit nervous letting my 13 year old go to a pool party like that without good supervision. Not that I expect bad things to happen- I just know that sometimes they do.

Good luck !

 

[ckay87]

Yea, I'd say with that number of kids, you'll need one full time "lifeguard" and one full time "couples cop." Are you friendly with any of the guests' parents? I know we're close enough with some of my son's friends that we could invite them to stay as well.

 

[ntburns22]

A couple extra sets of eyes would be great.

 

[Nikki&Me]

Drink heavily the night before and night after the party...

 

[Breezy_Carol]

I think for age 13, I might end it at 10 PM. And a few extra eyes would be helpful. I would also lay down some ground rules about where they are and are not allowed to go.

 

[Crankyshank]

What about your older DS? Could he and a couple friends be enticed (bribed) to help you out? Nothing like an older sibling to keep the younger kids in line (payback for tattling younger siblings )

 

[Mimi Q]

My older DD had a boy/girl pool party for her 13th birthday last June. I did have my niece and her husband help DH and I chaperone. They were responsible for watching the kids in the pool. The party was from 7-10 pm, and I thought that was just the right amount of time. The kids came up with some games to play in the pool on their own. It was a really fun party.

 

[Grumpy's Wife]

I have a DD14 so I know what you are going through. I think a five hour party is a little long. 6 or 7 to 10pm is long enough. I would get a few extra people to help chaperone. You can never have enough eyes. I would also set some ground rules with your son. Let him know what is expected of him and his friends. I hope it all works out and the party is a huge success.

 

[tiggger1]

You might think of hiring a certified life guard. A friend let her nieces use her pool for their sweet 16 but they were told that they had to hire a life guard. It only cost them $40 plus a tip but then they didnt have to worry too much about them in the pool.

 

[daisyduck123]

I think the party you're planning is a little long. When you give kids that much time, they will tend to get bored...look for something new to do besides swim, & that's when trouble will begin.

For me personally, the party would start at 5:30 or 6:00 & be over at 9:00. I would not give them too much time outside in the dark. It's harder to keep an eye on them.

 

[horseshowmom]

I agree with the "too long" group. Three or three and a half hours (say 7 - 10:30 p.m.) will more than likely be long enough.

I'd also want more adults there. I used to teach middle school, and this age group may be friendlier than you realize (although you obviously do have an inkling).

The lifeguard idea is a good one too.

Have a great party!

 

[Bearvet]

Thanks for all of your great ideas!! DS17's best friend is a certified lifeguard, so the 2 of them will be in charge of the pool yard (I'll feed them and pay them - they were excited!) I love this idea!! I'll also ask my neighbor if she'd be willing to help out since her son will be here.

DS13 has his heart set on hot dogs and hamburgers so we decided to keep the starting time at 6:00. Most people won't show up on time anyway, so we probably won't eat until 7:00. Then we'll have cake an hour or so later. Our yard is really fun at night with tiki torches and twinkle lights and we'll have the bonfire and make s'mores. I said we should end the party at 10 and DS13 suggested a compromise so we'll end at 10:30. They will have just finished school for the year, so they'll be wanting to celebrate!

Hopefully with 5 people watching them we'll be able to keep them from wandering off . I may ask another parent to stay too, since we're good friends and her son will be here. I have a feeling the non-swimmers will hang out in the basement (air hockey, foosball, pinball, video games, etc) so we'll have to keep an eye on them too. I really trust my son and want to give him the freedom that he's asking for. He adores his older brother and liked the fact that he and his friend would be helping out!

Thanks again for your help! The party isn't until June 17, so I'll try to remember to post afterward with details.

 

[golfgal]

That sounds like a good plan. I also have a 13, almost 14 year old, boy are those girls ADVANCED! We just had a pool party for our twins and had their entire class and it was amazing at 11 years old how much more advanced some of the girls are compared to the ALL of the boys. It sounds like a fun party and there will be enough to keep them occupied.

 

[Bearvet]

Well, the big party was last night and we survived and all went well! The weather was supposed to be sunny and mid-80s but it was overcast and low 70s. Then it rained heavily about an hour before the party! Luckily it stopped in time and we wiped everything down just before the kids arrived.

Kids began arriving 15 minutes early - and I thought they'd be late! I had cranked up the pool heater so they all jumped right in. Then DH had to leave because DS11 was asked to perform (piano) at a local coffee house - I can't believe I missed it He arrived back just in time to finish up the grilling - I had 3 other parents stay to help monitor kids, so we had our own little get-together. DS17 and his friend did a great job with the pool area and when the group headed over to the bonfire, I sent them over there to keep an eye on things. The adults hung out on the deck and could see everything, but weren't on top of the kids. It was great!

The kids were wonderful - swam, hot-tubbed, played football, basketball, wiffle ball, roated marshmallows and had a blast! We even had some kids compliment us on the food! DS13 worked his tail off getting everything ready for his party and really appreciated us letting him have the party. His 3 best friends spent the night and will help him clean up the yard this AM. The kids never even went in the house other than to use the bathroom.

So all in all it was a huge success! Thanks everyone for the ideas for using high school kids for chaperones/lifeguards (we called them our cabana boys) and for the encouragement to have extra parents stay. With all the planning and guidelines there were no issues and everyone had a great time!!