BLIX: SADDAM RESPONDED TO INTERNET OFFER TO MAKE MISSILE BIGGER
Inspectors Uncover Hidden Cache of Miracle Herb
Chief United Nations weapons inspector Hans Blix today confirmed reports that Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein had responded to a so-called spam email promising to make his long-range missile bigger through the use of a miracle herbal compound.
The inspectors discovered the suspicious email when they examined a laptop computer in one of Saddams Presidential Palaces and saw a subject line reading, SADDAM, MAKE IT BIGGER, Mr. Blix said.
According to Mr. Blix, the email promised that by buying a supply of a miracle herb called Missile-Gro, the Iraqi dictator could make his Al Samoud 2 missile bigger, more powerful and longer lasting.
The question is, how much longer lasting, Mr. Blix said. If it lasts longer than the 92-mile limit established at the end of the Gulf War, this is a serious matter indeed.
Inspectors later uncovered a cache of the Missile-Gro herb at an abandoned warehouse outside of Baghdad, along with a series of discarded devices designed to make a missile bigger and stronger.
Saddam apparently bought many of these devices over the Internet, one inspector said. Its not clear that any of them work.
At the United Nations, Secretary of State Colin Powell was prepared to argue that Saddams use of a miracle herb to make his al Samoud 2 missile bigger, stronger and longer lasting was just cause for a new and tougher U.N. resolution on Iraq.
We cannot simply ignore this evidence, Mr. Powell told reporters. Size does matter.
****BOROWITZ REPORTS****
Inspectors Uncover Hidden Cache of Miracle Herb
Chief United Nations weapons inspector Hans Blix today confirmed reports that Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein had responded to a so-called spam email promising to make his long-range missile bigger through the use of a miracle herbal compound.
The inspectors discovered the suspicious email when they examined a laptop computer in one of Saddams Presidential Palaces and saw a subject line reading, SADDAM, MAKE IT BIGGER, Mr. Blix said.
According to Mr. Blix, the email promised that by buying a supply of a miracle herb called Missile-Gro, the Iraqi dictator could make his Al Samoud 2 missile bigger, more powerful and longer lasting.
The question is, how much longer lasting, Mr. Blix said. If it lasts longer than the 92-mile limit established at the end of the Gulf War, this is a serious matter indeed.
Inspectors later uncovered a cache of the Missile-Gro herb at an abandoned warehouse outside of Baghdad, along with a series of discarded devices designed to make a missile bigger and stronger.
Saddam apparently bought many of these devices over the Internet, one inspector said. Its not clear that any of them work.
At the United Nations, Secretary of State Colin Powell was prepared to argue that Saddams use of a miracle herb to make his al Samoud 2 missile bigger, stronger and longer lasting was just cause for a new and tougher U.N. resolution on Iraq.
We cannot simply ignore this evidence, Mr. Powell told reporters. Size does matter.
****BOROWITZ REPORTS****
