Bittersweet easter

[agnes!]

Entitlement issues are part of her problem. I get tired of being the bad guy though. I am going to tell her no and leave it at that. I cannot believe she went through all that extra money I was just stunned. She caught me off guard how foolish could she be. I am going to make one final chart up for my youngest with both some academic and mostly fiscal pros and cons and go from there. It just is not worth it. Attitude issues are getting priority over common sense.

Oh, and if you can I think you need to lay down the law to those loving enablers of yours, "Granny" & "Grandad". That money wasn't "extra", it was there for a certain purpose and your daughter chose to use it for something else. Has this woman EVER held a job for more than a short while? And why is she still in school? Does she only attend a few classes a semester?

That eldest of yours sounds like a piece of work, what a brat. Still throwing temper-tantrums in her 20s eh? Wouldn't fly with me.

agnes!

 

[luvsJack]

Entitlement issues are part of her problem. I get tired of being the bad guy though. I am going to tell her no and leave it at that. I cannot believe she went through all that extra money I was just stunned. She caught me off guard how foolish could she be. I am going to make one final chart up for my youngest with both some academic and mostly fiscal pros and cons and go from there. It just is not worth it. Attitude issues are getting priority over common sense.

As I said before: Have her go back to her FA office and see if she has any loan eligibility left. Just because she has a loan does not mean she can't get another one. Besides, if she is on a tri-mester system she may have quite a bit left to get. Make her do something to fix her own problems. Tell her if she can't get anymore loans she may just have to skip a term until she can get more aid.

 

[kawing123]

My biggest fear is my youngest will follow her advice. I heard her say yesterday go to this school so you can get me into the football game like she wanted her sister eight years younger than her to party with her. She never calls her sister to go to the show or to lunch just to a big ten footbal game, so partying is first and foremost on her mind. Over my dead body.

 

[luvsJack]

My biggest fear is my youngest will follow her advice. I heard her say yesterday go to this school so you can get me into the football game like she wanted her sister eight years younger than her to party with her. She never calls her sister to go to the show or to lunch just to a big ten footbal game, so partying is first and foremost on her mind. Over my dead body.

You seem extremely negative about you oldest daughter. Has she caused that much trouble for you? Or maybe its just because she is so much older than her sister?

If you are that afraid of her being a bad influence on your younger daughter, the one you need to talk to is the younger one. You can no longer control a 24 year old but you still have some say so over the 16 year old. As for the younger one's college choice--just tell her the choices and how much you plan to pay; if what you plan is not enough for the one she chooses then she can make up the difference.

 

[kawing123]

My youngest is eighteen and yes my oldest has caused significant trouble. She goes through guys like nothing and gets upset if we do not want to meet every Tom Dick and Harry she decides to shack up with. She just broke it up with one and is already in another relationship. We have already told her that we are not interested in meeting her casual partners to wait until she is engaged or extremely serious. Seriously, I am losing count. My husband said that no more guys can come over with her for a visit and if she does not like it than she does not need to come over either just such a bad influence on her sister. No respect for herself.

 

[happygirl]

My youngest is eighteen and yes my oldest has caused significant trouble. She goes through guys like nothing and gets upset if we do not want to meet every Tom Dick and Harry she decides to shack up with. She just broke it up with one and is already in another relationship. We have already told her that we are not interested in meeting her casual partners to wait until she is engaged or extremely serious. Seriously, I am losing count. My husband said that no more guys can come over with her for a visit and if she does not like it than she does not need to come over either just such a bad influence on her sister. No respect for herself.

I don't understand why don't want to meet the people she's dates? I don't see that as a big deal.

 

[kawing123]

It is not people she is dating it is people she is sleeping with. None of these guys are going to marry her. It is not like she has been dating them a while she just skips all the steps and dives right in.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Your oldest DD is way to old to be acting like that. I graduated with my Bachelor's Degree when I was 22, if she was so serious about taking classes, she would have done it long ago. Sounds like she is using classes as a social activity to meet up with her next fling. She needs to be cut-off completely. I would never have imagined asking my parents for money after my first job. When I graduated from highschool, it was known up front that I would be paying all my bills and I could stay at home as long as I was going to school fulltime. I suggest that you do not give her anymore money, she definitely needs to learn the hard way how real life works.

 

[luvsJack]

Well, she is an adult; you cannot tell her who she can date (or whatever) and who she cannot.

Is she bringing these guys for overnight visits or just to family functions? If they are not staying over night then what is the issue with them coming over with her? And how do you know she is just sleeping with them? If there is no relationship there why does she even want you to meet them?

It sounds as though your oldest daughter has some problems that she may need help with. Have you tried to talk to her? Suggested counceling?

 

[C.Ann]

Children - even adult ones - have a tendency to treat their parents in the manner that the parents allow.. If you don't care for the attitude, it's time to do something about it..