Birthday party vent! updated

[happygirl]

My daughter is having her 6th birthday party at a local place. I sent out invites to the whole class, asking for people to RSVP by today and no one has RSVP I don't know if I should cancel the party or just go ahead and have it and no one shows up. I think that would be very embrassing for my daughter any words of wisdom. Thanks

 

[golfgal]

Most people assume an RSVP means to call if you can't come-right or wrong, that is what people think. I would assume you will have a full house.

 

[C.Ann]

That's a tough spot for your little girl to be in.. Do you have a class directory with the parents phone numbers in it? If so, I would get on the phone and start making calls..

Good luck..

 

[happygirl]

They didn't send out a class directory sp? I don't know that teacher is allowed to give me the kids personal numbers

 

[MerMom60_94]

Did you distribute the invitations yourself or send them in with your daughter? Perhaps, if not one person responded, you might want to confirm that the invitations were passed out and not put aside and forgotten by mistake. Do you know any of the other parents? If so, maybe give them a call and ask if their child brought home an invitation.

 

[mtemm]

Most people assume an RSVP means to call if you can't come-right or wrong, that is what people think. I would assume you will have a full house.

I'm so sorry! that is so frustrating and just plain wrong. Unlike the previous poster, I wouldn't assume a full house at all. is there any chance you can get a hold of a class directory or ask the teacher if she has any suggestions?

I hope your daughter has a wonderful birthday. and fingers crossed that you do hear from people today. sometimes people just wait till the last minute.

 

[mtemm]

you could ask the teacher if there is a class directory. we had to fill out paperwork at the beginning of the year to allow for our kids to be in the directory.

the teacher might have an email list and be willing to forward an email to the parents on your behalf, if she can't give out the numbers/email addresses.

 

[FireDancer]

Most people assume an RSVP means to call if you can't come-right or wrong, that is what people think. I would assume you will have a full house.

I though RSVP always meant call either way while "Regrets Only" meant I'll expect you if you don't call.

If I receive anything RSVP I call whether I am going or not and would consider it rude not to do so.

Can your daughter just ask her friends at school who is coming? If the party is this weekend and she has school the rest of the week it would at least give you a ballpark. I wouldn't rely on it for an accurate head count though.

In our district you have to invite all the kids in the class or none. It's really frustating to me.

This has to be one of the dumbest policies I have ever heard. Our parents used to invite our friends to our birthday parties and my parents knew the parents, at least casually, of anyone I was close enough friends with at school to invite to my birthday.

What is the logic of making people who aren't friends and might not like each other hang out when not in school?

 

[happygirl]

I personally gave the invites to the teacher to handout to the kids. In our district you have to invite all the kids in the class or none. It's really frustating to me. I gave the invites to the teacher on Oct 30th I wonder if that was to long ago and people forgot?

 

[C.Ann]

They didn't send out a class directory sp? I don't know that teacher is allowed to give me the kids personal numbers

DGD's school gives one out each year for whatever class she's in.. Are you sure one didn't come home with the beginning of the year papers - like the school rules and conduct guide and such?

If not, do you know any of these kids at all? Maybe you could call a few of those parents and they might have phone numbers for the others..

This really disturbs me that your poor DD might end up with no one there.. Why can't people just do the responsible thing and RSVP?

 

[Angelhalo]

I'm so sorry! that is so frustrating and just plain wrong. Unlike the previous poster, I wouldn't assume a full house at all. is there any chance you can get a hold of a class directory or ask the teacher if she has any suggestions?

I hope your daughter has a wonderful birthday. and fingers crossed that you do hear from people today. sometimes people just wait till the last minute.

I agree it is beyond frustrating. I think it is expletive worthy! I don't understand how people can be so rude as to think that you should just assume that they are coming if you haven't heard from them. We had the same issues with our wedding invites. It was like pulling teeth to find out if certain people were coming or not.

OP I would WANT to cancel the party and spend the whole day doing fun things with my daughter. Go get manicures and ice cream, etc. When the parent's show up and get angry that you're not there, you can tell them that since no one RSVP'd, you assumed no one was coming. UNFORTUNATELY, then YOU look like the jerk and disgruntled parents may take it out on your child in the future by not sending her invites to things etc.

I guess you should just show up for the party and see what happens. The good thing is that if No One shows up, then no one knows it but you and your daughter. At which point you can either stay and enjoy yourselves, or go elsewhere and have fun!

 

[mjkacmom]

If you can't call the parents, I'd send out reminders in the backpacks. I'm guessing this is your first party inviting the class - I've never had everyone RSVP. When I call (we have directories), about 1/2 say they're coming, and forgot to RSVP. I don't think you handed them out too soon - I usually find 1 1/2 weeks works best, and put my email address on the invitation.

I've forgotten a couple of times myself, usually because I received the invitation 3+ weeks in advance, and I don't know at that time if we're available. If I get it in under 2 weeks away, I call immediately.

 

[happygirl]

this is my first birthday party for her with kids. I will try to get a reminder out tommorow.

 

[zachnsamsmommy]

I have done this before at ODS's school, and guess what? Maybe one RSVP, if any at all, out of a class of 16-20 kids. In previous years (he now is older, and doesn't have class parties)...about 6 or so kids usually showed, so maybe a third of the class.

And yes, it is very frustrating!

 

[mom2travel]

Most people assume an RSVP means to call if you can't come-right or wrong, that is what people think. I would assume you will have a full house.

I think "regrets only" means call if you can't come. RSVP means call to let us know if you are coming or not.
I usually put in "please let us know if you can make it!" and hope that is more obvious

I agree that a reminder is a good idea. I would send an email, but it doesn't sound like you have the addresses.

fwiw - I started using evite - somehow you get a better response rate that way

Good luck - and I hope your daughter has a wonderful birthday

 

[happygirl]

I think Evite might be a good idea

 

[PatsGirl]

When sending out invites, I always try to think of some reason that the parents HAVE to call, either for directions or if not a birthday party, a request that they call and "sign up" for a goodie, that sort of thing. And saying "please let us know if you can make it" gets a much better response than RSVP which obviously alot of people are unsure what it means

 

[golfgal]

I think "regrets only" means call if you can't come. RSVP means call to let us know if you are coming or not.
I usually put in "please let us know if you can make it!" and hope that is more obvious

I agree that a reminder is a good idea. I would send an email, but it doesn't sound like you have the addresses.

fwiw - I started using evite - somehow you get a better response rate that way

Good luck - and I hope your daughter has a wonderful birthday

I know that RSVP means to let them know either way but MOST people do not and think it is a Regrets Only deal. If I NEED RSVP's I word it in such a way that they know I want a response either way. If I don't need an exact count I put "regrets only" on the invite.

I agree with Evite.

I would also email the teacher and make sure she remembered to pass out the invites.

 

[beattyfamily]

Oh man! I'm so sorry, OP....and SO mad for you! I'm sure you feel horrible.

Did you include your email address as an option to RSVP? I did and most responded (and preferred to) that way instead of calling. Of course, about 5 out of 18 didn't bother to RSVP at all.

I would send out reminders ASAP with your email address. Stress that you need a head count for the location the party is at.

Good luck!

 

[happygirl]

Oh man! I'm so sorry, OP....and SO mad for you! I'm sure you feel horrible.

Did you include your email address as an option to RSVP? I did and most responded (and preferred to) that way instead of calling. Of course, about 5 out of 18 didn't bother to RSVP at all.

I would send out reminders ASAP with your email address. Stress that you need a head count for the location the party is at.

Good luck!

I only gave them my email address. I was kind of leary about giving at my phone number to strangers