Birthday party Invite says "No Toys Please"

[ERMama]

Im a "no gifts" mom and only 1 kid in 3 yrs brought a small gift so I guess the people here listen.

As for no toys, I guess I dont consider it rude. Theres a ton of things you can still buy. Small crafts, coloring books, yes, even painting supplies. And Im sure a gift cert would be fine too.

 

[LadyShea]

As for no toys, I guess I dont consider it rude. Theres a ton of things you can still buy. Small crafts, coloring books, yes, even painting supplies. And Im sure a gift cert would be fine too.

It's rude and inconsiderate to tell people what gifts to give or not give unless they specifically ask. "No gifts" is acceptable, but not specification like that.

We tell our family, personally, that we prefer no toys or limited toys, but that's not on an invitation in writing to people I don't even know.

 

[EthansMom]

Yes, it's rude wording. But if I got this invite, I'd just get the kid a few books or a gift card to the local bookstore.

 

[brymolmom]

I agree that I would never do that on an invite...if I have too many toys - I'd say 'no gifts'.

That said - I would still let ds go and would likely do something like a book or a t-shirt (can likely guess the size or just include gift receipt) or, depending on where you live - a winter hat or mittens (extras are always nice). OR, there's always the food option - a basket full of Halloween treats -thus the parents will say next year 'no toys or sweets'!

 

[MiniGirl]

If I received this invitation, I would assume the parent meant to write "No gifts, please." However, I would call and simply say that you noticed the parents had requested that no toys be gven, so what, then, do the parents recommend? It gives the parent a chance to clarify or give you ideas on what to give. It really isn't a big deal. People tell us all the time what gifts to give for weddings, showers, etc, but we don't consider gift registries rude. Some do consider it tacky though.

Really, this is one of those things that would just roll of my back.

 

[mrsklamc]

I, too, took this as 'no gifts' until I read the thread. I second (third?) the idea of calling and saying "What would you suggest?" It may be that they meant 'no gifts' and would be mortified to have offended you.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

This kind of goes along with the "gift giving etiquette" question from earlier this week...

I normally give gift cards anyway - to either Target or Toys R Us.

But I'm not sure how I feel about the parent writing "No Toys Please" on the child's party invitation (6th b-day). Not "No Gifts" or "In lieu of a gift" - just "No Toys".

On one had I can see her point. I'm sure we all have too many toys in our houses.
On the other hand...kind of presumptuous. What ever happened to being gracious and saying thank you for whatever it is you receive?

Thoughts???

One word. Tacky.

 

[cruisinmama06]

Moon Sand, the moldable sand that never dries out so it can be used again and again for never-ending fun and clean up!

I was just going to say that. Moon sand is HORRIBLE to clean up...just the worst.

 

[LadyShea]

I would still let ds go and would likely do something like a book or a t-shirt

I certainly wouldn't bar my kid from going, and would even follow the parents of wishes of no toys...I thought the OP wanted to discuss etiquette, and it's simply improper.

Even bridal and baby registry information should never be written on an invitation. If the invited guest wishes to buy from the registry they should call the hostess and ask about it. It should never be expected.

 

[mommyintn]

Moon Sand, the moldable sand that never dries out so it can be used again and again for never-ending fun and clean up!

My youngest got that one Christmas played with it once got it all over the place and it "mysteriously" disappeared.

 

[The Disney Bunch]

Why what you want - the party is a celebration - I dont think they should dictate what you can or cannot give. imho

 

[teedisney]

I did this for my son's first birthday. His birthday is 6 weeks after Christmas. I call my house little TRU after Christmas. Now I do small parties most of the time.

My son got clothes, books and music.

 

[NJR]

I know I'm in the minority here, but I quite appreciate being given a heads-up as to something that might not be needed and/or wanted - if I'm going to spend my hard-earned money, I would MUCH rather it go towards something that would be wanted and used, rather than wasted on something that the person already has too much of.

 

[melancholywings]

I wouldn't go. It just rubs me the wrong way and makes the gift giving to stressful. If someone's tacky enough to be picky with gifts from strangers, who knows what else they'll be tacky about?

 

[churchpilot]

I say it means your presence is his present!!!!!!!!!!!! Just walk in and say we're here, where's the food and cake!

 

[WantToGoNow]

I say the parents are probably thinking about what the child needs, not what he wants. Maybe he's trying to save for something big and gift cards are a way for him to do that. Books are always good gifts - it encourages reading and a 6-year old is just starting to master that. Or buy something useful like a t-shirt, gloves or even a pack of undies with his favorate character on them (might be embarassed a bit when he opens them but they would be useful).

My son is going to a cousin's party today. This year the cousin (turning 8) only wanted a "big kid" party so dd4 and the rest of the family was not invited. Normally we buy nice gifts for the relatives - but usually we have 5 people at the party. This year he will get the same kind of trivial toy that I buy for the other parties ds attends. And dd4's birthday is coming up in a few weeks - might just end up being a "girls" party or a party for just children her age (she has 2 cousins from the same family that are almost 4-5) and this little guy can see what dd feels like today knowing she is being excluded.

I say give them what they ask for.

 

[mjkacmom]

I say the parents are probably thinking about what the child needs, not what he wants. Maybe he's trying to save for something big and gift cards are a way for him to do that. Books are always good gifts - it encourages reading and a 6-year old is just starting to master that. Or buy something useful like a t-shirt, gloves or even a pack of undies with his favorate character on them (might be embarassed a bit when he opens them but they would be useful).

My son is going to a cousin's party today. This year the cousin (turning 8) only wanted a "big kid" party so dd4 and the rest of the family was not invited. Normally we buy nice gifts for the relatives - but usually we have 5 people at the party. This year he will get the same kind of trivial toy that I buy for the other parties ds attends. And dd4's birthday is coming up in a few weeks - might just end up being a "girls" party or a party for just children her age (she has 2 cousins from the same family that are almost 4-5) and this little guy can see what dd feels like today knowing she is being excluded.

I say give them what they ask for.

Around here, once kids start school, the family party is either separate or non-existant. I can't imagine an 8 year old wanting a 4 and 5 year old at the party! I'm guessing he won't be very upset not being invited to a 5 year old girl's birthday party. At the age of 8, most parties are not only for a specific age, but a specific sex as well.

 

[momx2]

Around here, once kids start school, the family party is either separate or non-existant. I can't imagine an 8 year old wanting a 4 and 5 year old at the party! I'm guessing he won't be very upset not being invited to a 5 year old girl's birthday party. At the age of 8, most parties are not only for a specific age, but a specific sex as well.

I agree. My sister, DD's aunt, made a comment once when my oldest DD started having kids only parties, that then she wouldn't have to buy her a present. She said this to my DD, who got upset, she was 6 yrs. old. I think my mom must have said something to my sis, because she got her something anyway.

Edit to add: OP, I would call to see if they mean no presents or just no toys just to make sure. I would never put that on an invite, but I would probably just get the child a book and be done with it.

 

[jellybeans0607]

Tacky. I think it's all tacky and obnoxious. The no toys, in lieu of, no gifts, gift registries(for bdays)....I can't stand any of it. It leaves the guest in a weird situation not knowing what to do.

I have a suggestion, why don't people stop spoiling the crap out of their kids and then at their birthday they will need or want toys.

 

[ncmomof2]

I would bring a book or two. SInce it is a 6 year old I would get some Step 2 or 3 readers at Walmart that are $3 each.