Birthday party, gift giving, etiquette question

[sunlover13]

I'm new to this as DD just started school. She was invited to a b-day party for a girl she used to go to preschool with. We will be on vacation so she will not be able to attend. Do we still get a gift even though we do not even know when we will see her again. She occassionally has a play date with the girl's older sister, maybe 3-4 times a year.

I kind of feel bad not giving a gift, but I can't imagine buying a gift for every single b-day party she gets invited to from school.

Now that I think of it, the girls that could not attend her b-day party last year did not give her a gift so is that the norm????

TIA!

 

[lisadr]

I only bring a gift if we can attend. Like you said-it would get completely out of hand. The only time a send a gift is if I RSVPed that I could come and then had to cancel last minute for an emergency or illness.

 

[ssdeverell]

I also only bring a gift if we attend, unless it is family or my best friend's kids.

 

[WDW Traveler]

I only get a gift if DD can attend. The only exception to that rule for me is if DD has her party, invites certain people, they come, bring gifts and then DD gets invited to one of those girls parties and we can't make it - I will send a gift. Only fair. But no, I don't send a gift for every invitation she gets - like others said, it could get very out of hand!

 

[sunlover13]

Thanks everyone!

I'm going with the no gift option!

 

[gr8leg8]

I think this can depend on the relationship to the bday child. What feels right to you?

If you see something that seems a perfect fit,
often gifts for young ones are not too expensive,
would it bring you joy to send it to her?

My daughter's best friend in preschool was born on
Jan. 3rd. A challenging time to throw a party.
Her family chose to celebrate with only family.

We like to get her something.
A barbie movie one year,
an Ariel dress another year,
we enjoyed taking part in celebrating her special day.

Other times that we were unable to attend,
we try to send a card.
but I make her write thank you cards too.
Not because it's a rule, but because I would like her to learn some of the tools of being a kind & caring friend.
Like other manners, it is her choice to use them.

Wow,
this sounds a lot stuffier than I think we are.

I guess I just wanted to say
if you have an impulse of kindness
follow it.

a simple gesture can often have a big impact on a child
( a smile, a listening ear, a compliment ) it makes them fun to be around.

 

[imthatgirl]

the only time i still give a gift is if its a very close friend. for instance my daughters best friend and our next door neighbor had a party while we were in disney. im very close to the family so we still got her somehting while we were away.
just kids she knows from school, no i wouldnt send a gift.

 

[Rora]

I wouldn't give a gift unless you were attending.

Now, if you were really close to this girl and her family, then I would consider giving her a gift. However, in this situatuation, not giving a gift is completley acceptable.

 

[Nicki828]

I'm new to this as DD just started school. She was invited to a b-day party for a girl she used to go to preschool with. We will be on vacation so she will not be able to attend. Do we still get a gift even though we do not even know when we will see her again. She occassionally has a play date with the girl's older sister, maybe 3-4 times a year.

I kind of feel bad not giving a gift, but I can't imagine buying a gift for every single b-day party she gets invited to from school.

Now that I think of it, the girls that could not attend her b-day party last year did not give her a gift so is that the norm????

TIA!

I give a gift we can't attend and it is a close friend. If it's a classmate that my children aren't close with we don't send a gift.

 

[emma'smom]

I second the "close friend" and "if they gave my dd a gift" approaches. Also, I tend to spend a bit less...it really is just a "little something".