Birthday Etiquette-Settle a Dispute???

[attorneywolfe]

My wife and I are having a discussion on Birthday Celebration Etiquette. We are going to WDW in February, which is also my 8 years olds birthday month. In years past, we have been there on his actual birthday and celebrated accordingly (advising hotel, wearing pin, etc).

This year, we wont be there on his actual day of birthday, so my wife says we should not get the perks. I say we should pick a day during our visit to celebrate and get the perks. Kinda like when you get the card in the mail from the kids favorite restaurant saying come in anytime during the month of February (birthday month) and pick up your free Sundae.

What do you think?

Sincerely, a too fun dad.

 

[bumbershoot]

It's not about the exact date, it's about the celebration! Are you celebrating his birthday while there? Then celebrate it! No perks are ever guaranteed with wearing a birthday button, other than many good wishes (and if he passes me by and I see his button, he'll get a fellow guest wishing a happy birthday as well, LOL), so it's not like you're stealing anything.

 

[ricko19]

I agree, we have celebrated my dd birthday at DLand, although it was not on her actual bday, we took the trip for her birthday.
I don't see why missing it by a short time should matter.
It's all about the celebration!

 

[hismattjesty]

I say celebrate as well. My wife and I always celebrate our anniversary about a week late on our trips to WDW, and luckily my actual birthday falls during the trip. It's all about the celebration, and not the actual date.

 

[TallyTutter]

A trip to WDW is part of DD's birthday & Christmas present (they are 1 month apart). When we go we are celebrating her birthday - it's her present! She wears the pin and is tickled & very thankful of any birthday wishes or "perks" she gets. She does know though that being in WDW for her birthday (the years we go) is the only birthday "perk" she is guaranteed so she's not looking for any freebies. When she is wished happy birthday or given a birthday desert she is always surprised, she forgets she is wearing the pin!

 

[apostolic4life]

We go during Thanksgiving and since my DD14 has a B-Day on the ninth of November we always pick a day to celebrate and she gets all the perks.....nothing dishonest about that since she lives with her mom and that is the time we get to celebrate with her.

 

[theparsons]

I understand where your wife is coming from...what lesson are you teaching your daughter about right and wrong if you aren't there on the actual date, etc etc.....and with this dillema in mind, for me, I think picking one "substitute birthday date" and wearing the pin on that date would be fair and appropriate. Wearing it every day of your stay, not so fair.

Think of it this way....for example......if her birthday was on Tuesday, February 12 and yet you wanted to have a big family/friends get together but because of school/work schedules and holiday weekends you couldn't have the party until Saturday, February 23....would you tell people that since it's not her actual Feb 12 birthdate to not bring presents? Or would you not have a cake that said Happy Birthday? Of course not....you're subsituting Feb 23 as the date for the party because it fits everyone's schedules better. You may have a little private celebration on her actual birthday taking her out to dinner, but the big party is 2 weeks later. In Disney, you'll pick one date and that's the "big party date".


We didn't even know about any special pin for birthdays when we first went. My girls' birthday is in June....no way would we ever go to Disney in the heat of summer....but their gift was a telephone call from Cinderella inviting them to visit Disneyland in December...........so when we went on their first trip to Disneyland in December, we joked that we were celebrating their "half" birthday.....we went to City Hall to get the 1st time pin and they told the CM that Cinderella had called and invited them for their birthday (and asked that the CM let Cinderella know they'd arrived, lol, but that's another story). The CM offered them the birthday pin but we explained it wasn't actually their birthday, just our celebration of it....so she changed the pin to "UN-birthday" and insisted they wear it. Your unbirthday, if you remember from Alice in Wonderland is all the other days that it's NOT your birthday.

So...pick a date...either one where you can get a special ADR to celebrate, or wait until you are there and the weather is perfect and your daughter wakes up and decides it's the perfect day to celebrate her birthday and make that the offical day.

And by the way.....tell your daughter

Happy Birthday!

 

[CanadianGuy]

Believe it or not.. this is a topic that generates a LOT of heat on the boards.

Opinion sharing is welcome - questioning and targeting the opinions of others is NOT.

Personally, I say, go enjoy and celebrate when you are able.. even if that isn't an exact match for your calendar birthday.

Believe me when I tell you - it's not an issue for Disney.. either way.



Knox

 

[The Disney Bunch]

You are there to celebrate a birthday, it doesn't have to be the actual day.

 

[suzieqmomof4]

I disagree.

I would think it dishonest for my child to wear a birthday pin when it's not his or her actual birthday. Why don't you make your own pin that say's "My Birthday Trip" or something to that effect?

Or better yet, get an "Un-Birthday Pin." Alice in Wonderland would love it.

I was just there last week and the number of birthday pins was staggering. It's almost like it doesn't mean anything anymore.

To one previous poster, when you have a family party, or get a gift in the mail, it is understood by everyone that it's not the actual birthday of the recipient. When you wear a pin that says "Happy Birthday_________" on it, it is generally understood that it is the person's birthday.

I've seen kids (some, not all) that have been wished a Happy Birthday by a CM and you can tell that they know it isn't their real birthday.

To me, it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do.

 

[mouseman41]

Sorry, Your wife is wrong!!! Let you son celebrate the whole trip!!!!!!!!

 

[Princess_Melanie]

I don't see a promblem with celebrating his birthday while you are there at all!!

My DBF and I planned a brief trip to DLRP in Dec 07 for our anniversary (of when we first got together - till we marry we have that to celebrate ) - our anniversary is in August, but being the school holidays we'd pay a fortune to go away anywhere even for just a romantic night away. Hence we picked DLRP when it would be Christmassy and we could be together and soak up some Disney for our Anniversary. We had Anniversary pins and some CMs wished us a Happy Anniversary. Made us smile and cuddle up even closer against the cold!!

 

[goofy4tink]

Back in '06, my dd and a friend both celebrated birthdays at WDW. DD had her actual birthday there, friends birthday was the day after we returned home. Now, both girls were given buttons to wear. One button said...'Today is my Birthday!!', the other one.."Celebrating my birthday at WDW!". Dd wore the second one for most of the trip, then used the first one on her actual birthday.
I wish they still had the two styles...made it much easier. We are thinking of a cruise then some park time for her 16th in two years. Her birthday is in Oct but we wouldn't be in WDW until Thanksgiving week. Will we 'celebrate' her birthday then? Yes, but it won't be a big 'in your face, pin wearing' type thing.

It seems that nowadays, everyone is celebrating something at WDW, and expecting a ton of stuff to happen, and then get disappointed when nothing really happens.

 

[Princess_Melanie]

It seems that nowadays, everyone is celebrating something at WDW, and expecting a ton of stuff to happen, and then get disappointed when nothing really happens.

I think this is where the problem lies - people start to expect special treatment etc. We were touched that people wished us a "Happy Anniversary" and that helped make our trip special. We didn't get any "extras" or anything - just well wishes, and that was enough for us!!

 

[scoolover]

I am all for pool hopping and re-using refillable mugs but my opinion on this is that if it's not their birthday, it's not their birthday. Next time schedule it on the birthday and it's not an issue. Here is how I would get around the issue, though. Bring a sharpie and write as little as you can, "not" between the its and my on the birthday pin. This way you are covered. You can tell the kid you are being honest and still get the perks.

 

[scoolover]

I think this is where the problem lies - people start to expect special treatment etc. We were touched that people wished us a "Happy Anniversary" and that helped make our trip special. We didn't get any "extras" or anything - just well wishes, and that was enough for us!!

Anytime I go to Disney, I expect special treatment. Otherwise I'd find another place to go.

 

[WDSearcher]

Believe me when I tell you - it's not an issue for Disney.. either way.

This is absolutely correct! Disney is not going to demand proof of birthday. Disney also understands that it's not always possible for a family or a person to be physically at WDW on their actual birthday, and so birthdays get celebrated during "birthday trips", which could be as much as 11 months later. (Disney, after all, is the originator of the "15-month celebration" -- and exactly how long has the Year of A Million Dreams lasted already? )

I understand your wife's point, but with all due respect to her and to suzieqmomof4, it is not in any way 'dishonest' for you to choose a day to celebrate your son's birthday while you are at WDW, particularly if the trip is intended as part of his birthday celebration. Wearing a birthday button guarantees NOTHING. There is no monetary value, there are no promises implied or made. It's a button that probably costs WDW less than a penny to create. You might get front-of-line at a ride or attraction ... you might get a free cupcake at lunch. You might get absolutely nothing.

If there was a monetary value or a "prize" of some sort guaranteed to the wearer of the Birthday Button, my opinion might be different. But as it is ... go, celebrate, enjoy!

 

[shellybaxter]

I've never understood the "its not fair if its not your actual birthday" thing. We have lots of friends and family, so even at home I have a birthday celebration week; dinner with friends one or two night, party at work another day, family parties a couple of times. I love birthdays. They are a way of celebrating someone special and I can't even imagine not wanting to celebrate you child at Disneyworld; especially so close to their birthday.

 

[Buzz Litebeer]

I would think it dishonest for my child to wear a birthday pin when it's not his or her actual birthday. Why don't you make your own pin that say's "My Birthday Trip" or something to that effect?

Or better yet, get an "Un-Birthday Pin." Alice in Wonderland would love it.

I disagree with your opening statement -- as stated before, many kids celebrate their birthday while at WDW even if it's not their actual birthday -- and we really do have no problem with it. Why would we? Heck, I even tell my younger guests that they're allowed to wear their Birthday buttons for the whole week before and whole week after their actual birthday.

And I have to say that I absolutely LOVE your idea for an "It's My UN-Birthday!" button! It's a fabulous idea that would let younger kids who might be jealous of birthday guests still get to wear a button. As it is, City Hall will happily give those guests an "Honorary Citizen" button.

 

[HauntedMansionFan]

I understand your wife's point, but with all due respect to her and to suzieqmomof4, it is not in any way 'dishonest' for you to choose a day to celebrate your son's birthday while you are at WDW, particularly if the trip is intended as part of his birthday celebration. Wearing a birthday button guarantees NOTHING. There is no monetary value, there are no promises implied or made. It's a button that probably costs WDW less than a penny to create. You might get front-of-line at a ride or attraction ... you might get a free cupcake at lunch. You might get absolutely nothing.

If there was a monetary value or a "prize" of some sort guaranteed to the wearer of the Birthday Button, my opinion might be different. But as it is ... go, celebrate, enjoy!

I agree with you and a few of the other posters.... if by wearing the button would get you "perks" all day, then I'm inclined to say "no go, don't wear the button". The problem is that some guests have a pre-concieved notion that they should get special treatment for wearing any type of button.... and without trying to sound like I'm attacking the OP, it sounds like they have this same expectation as they clearly mentioned "perks" in their post. The only expectation is that people should wish the wearer a "Happy Birthday", but even then that shouldn't be expected either.