Betrayal

[Pugdog007]

How do you get over the ultimate betrayal by a BF/DH? I'm in shock & my heart hurts so bad that I don't feel I'll ever be happy again.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The short answer is you don't get over it but you learn to live with it.

 

[Serena]

Yeah, come on. You do not get over this. It affects you. It's extremely hard to trust again. All you can do is hope karma kicks some butt.

It did with my ex, he stayed with her for less than 6 months and realized he really screwed up. It was too late to come back home, but I do appreciate that he regrets what he did.

Do not do the what did I do or not do right thing. It won't help and won't make a bit of difference. Your h messed up and so did your friend. You have to go on and make new friends. It will be slow, and it will be hard, but get out of the house when you can, keep busy, find any way possible to be distracted and not think about it. Trust me, I spent a month in bed doing the why me thing. All I succeeded in doing was to really scare my girls.

I went to work, I went to college, and when I can, I do things that I enjoy, especially if he didn't. I've been doing a lot of firsts in the last 8 years. I've grown a lot, and I feel so much better than I did back then.

But yeah, this you won't get over.



I am really sorry this happened to you. It royally sucks. But you will be alright.

 

[Pugdog007]

It was with prostitutes. No friends of mine. I'm not kidding.

 

[Serena]

I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood.

Hookers? Get checked out, make sure he hasn't brought anything home. Make him get checked too.

 

[lovemygoofy]

It was with prostitutes. No friends of mine. I'm not kidding.

I'm going to have the unpopular view here. If that was my husband, he would so have ex in front of it. This was an intentional affair, knowingly seeking this sort of thing out and potentially bringing something home to you.

I hope you can find peace and comfort in your world

 

[Pugdog007]

I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood.

Hookers? Get checked out, make sure he hasn't brought anything home. Make him get checked too.

Can't get him checked out... he's not speaking to ME because I found out!!! What nerve! This guy's a DOCTOR!

 

[Pugdog007]

I'm going to have the unpopular view here. If that was my husband, he would so have ex in front of it. This was an intentional affair, knowingly seeking this sort of thing out and potentially bringing something home to you.

I hope you can find peace and comfort in your world

Thank you I need people to talk to but I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone.

 

[Disneylover79]

I can feel your pain.... I was betrayed about 6 years ago and it does hurt, and you will feel better but it will take a lot to get over it.... I am so sorry you have to go through this...please PM me if you need to talk... I will be here all night.....

 

[Serena]

Can't get him checked out... he's not speaking to ME because I found out!!! What nerve! This guy's a DOCTOR!

He is not speaking to you because he's guilty as sin and doesn't want to hear it out loud.
He doesn't want to hear your voice and how much he hurt you. Yeah, coward.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Thank you I need people to talk to but I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone.

I understand you are embrassed but you have done nothing wrong. Your husband made the choice to have sex with a freaking hooker. He is the nasty one not you. He is the one that looks sleazy and not you. You be proud that you have be true to your marriage.

Being that I'm a big witch I'd have a shirt made for my soon to be ex that said "I had sex with a hooker and now I'm single."

Make sure you do get yourself tested for anything and everything. Think about yourself for right now and take the time you need to heal.

 

[DMickey28]

ETA: As usual, I agree with Tina, I just don't have the guts to say it. This is not something that started innocently and grew out of control. This was intentional and I do not know that I could ever get past that with that person. That would be the end of it for me with NO QUESTIONS. I wouldn't care that he wasn't talking to m (well of course I would, it would hurt) but you need to try and pull together what you need to take care of yourself and get out of the situation for now. He is among the lowest of the scum and coward of men.

 

[EthansMom]

Please take care of yourself and know that I'm thinking of you.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Can't get him checked out... he's not speaking to ME because I found out!!! What nerve! This guy's a DOCTOR!

Doctor, ditch digger, spaceman, doesn't matter. He cheated on you and now you have to protect yourself.

 

[Jewel1310]

PUg,

I have been where you are. It is impossible to share with others. Top that with the blame that can often be heaped on. Know that often the person in question is a sex addict who was willing to risk everything (you, his career, his health). While that isn't always the case it is often. You didn't do anything to cause this despite what he might say. You can't solve it and you can't conrol it. All you can do is take care of yourself. Someone with moral character would end their relationship before seeking out others and they certainly wouldn't stop talking to you because you found out.

For me that meant a parting of the ways. I knew I would not get beyond it and in this day and age the risk to my health was to great for me to accept.

Lots of hugs. I am sure you are in lots of pain and very angry. I would encourage you to seek counseling to sort through things. I would also encourage you to seek legal advise but if you aren't ready to do that yet give yourself some time.

PM if I can be of assistance.
Jewel

 

[krcit]

I'm so sorry. I have no words of wisdom just wanted to give you a cyber hug.

 

[Pugdog007]

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. I'm making myself sick looking at the pictures. I just can't believe it. These liasons were taking place 4-5:00 in the morning!!!

 

[teacups]

Do you have a curb in front of your house?

KICK HIM TO IT!

Then get checked out by a doctor that knows him.

Girl, there is happiness outside your door someplace.
I hope you find it.

 

[Serena]

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. I'm making myself sick looking at the pictures. I just can't believe it. These liasons were taking place 4-5:00 in the morning!!!

Pictures? You have pictures? Give them to a friend you trust. I would probably burn them but I would also want the proof.

 

[pixiewings71]

OMG Pictures???? that's just so wrong. He's filth and you need to get rid of him, BUT make copies of the photos so you can show them in court. What a sleaze!

As for your question, you don't ever get over this (I was cheated on multiple times in my first marriage, second ended because he wanted an "open relationship" which meant he wanted to cheat but wanted me faithful) but you learn to live with it. Trust will be given hesitantly in the future but you will find someone who deserves you and you'll learn to give your trust and your heart again. (((HUGS))) I'm so sorry for your pain, if there is anything you need let us know.