Being without the kids question...

[sunlver]

It seems like I am the minority.
Do any of you have a hard time being without the kids? Let me clarify, I am not with my kids 24 hrs a day. My 2 older kids go to school(they are 11 and 6). I have a 20 month old at home. We do not live in the same state as family, so there are no overnight visits to grandma's house, or auntie's house. My kids go and play at other friends house. So I am not always with them.
BUT.,this is a big BUT.. I hate when the kids are not home at night. The older kids have had a couple of sleepovers ,and that bothered me somewhat. I mean I always trusted where they were at, so that wasnt the problem. I just felt weird at night going to bed and knowing all my babies werent home in their own beds.
Yesterday my 6 yr old had a sleepover with the girlscouts. They went to a hotel with an indoor waterpark which was one hour away. We went and stayed with them a few hrs this morning, then all of us came home.Yesterday I felt so off because my daughter wasnt at home, and the fact she was 50miles away. I mean it really bothered me, it just didnt feel right. I wouldnt never stop my kids from doing these sort of things.
And in turn, I couldnt image going on vacation, even for a weekend without my kids. We are the minority compared to most, we have never been away with out them. We go on vacation once a yr, and where we go , they go.
Please this is not to start a debate because yes I know couples should have time alone, and yes, it is healthy for couples to get away yada yada yada. Yes, I believe that. It is just that I could never do it. We have couple time at night, where we are home and kids are in bed. We have that time to connect as a couple etc..
Does anybody else have a hard time being away from the kids? I know I am just a big old sap , but I cant help it. Im happy tonight, all my babies will be home where they belong

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Don't feel bad. I'm the same way, similar circumstances but my sisters do live in the same state. I'm not with DD 24/7, in fact I'm the working parent. I just feel better knowing where she is. Eventually I'll have to cut that apron string but she's only 6 so she's still a baby in my eyes.

 

[Buckalew11]

I only have 1. When she isn't here, I miss her. In fact, she isn't here now--she's at her grandmother's house.

I can't wait til school is out so she'll be around more and we can go play! She's 12 and an easy child so far and we just have a blast together. She'll do a few day camps this summer and will do a week away at camp for the first time (which I dread for DH and myself but she is more than ready to do it).

Sometimes, when she's away I'll go borrow one of my sister's kids who are equally well behaved and fun to be around and take places. I am not a "kid" person so it is kind of strange for me to feel the way I do.
Personally, I think it is great when parents really ENJOY their children! (Of course, I know we all have our moments!)

 

[Sherri]

I am the same way. I hate not being with my kids. They are 13 1/2 and
14 1/2. It dives me crazy when I here other parents count down the time until their kids go back to school during the summer. I hate it when others don't love parenting as much as me. I love my kids and I love having them around. My friends think I am a little too over the top. Believe me my kids are busy and they are with friends a lot. As soon as summer hits we plan a three week vacation and we go away over the Spring so we can have time as a family. When we are home it is all about sports, and friends and school and other activities, such is life I guess. My friends think I should adopt a child now that my kids are older and so busy. I try and tell them, I don't want another child, I want my children but I want time to slow down a bit. I enjoy every minute I am with them.

 

[anewvance]

I'm one that doesn't mind a few hours (or even overnight) without the kids... but then again our only babysitters are family, usually my grandma so I know they are getting treated like princesses and I can relax for a change. My grandma has tea parties with them, they swim in the pool, she does special projects with them. The baby I have with me almost constantly.. never even think twice about it.

Now the sad part, we leave in 2 weeks for Ireland and we will be there without the kids for 2 weeks. I'm already freaking out, it will be the longest i've been away from them and that's a long time!!! I'm bringing a photo bag that you display the photos on the front of the bag and loading it up with pictures so I can see my babies every day. And we bought a nice time sized phone card to be able to call them often, but it will still be hard.

 

[ktink]

Well last night our dd9 spent the night w/ a friend of hers and tonight that friend is staying w/ us, while dd5 spent the night w/ my mom and she is there again tonight. When they were babies I couldn't imagine staying w/ out them and on their first overnight to my own mom's I didn't sleep, I stayed up and watched The Scarlett Letter and remember thinking she was a better mother than me, at least Pearl never spent the night away from her. But now I'm used to the dd's going to nana's house about once a month and dd9 will go to sleepovers and no, I don't stay awake worrying about them but I do miss them. Having said that I have to say there are times that I'm on the other side and enjoy the time that DH and I get together. There have been times when the 2 of us really needed to work on us and thank goodness we were able to do that. We have gone on 2 seperate long weekends- several years apart- and alot of the time all we did was talk about the dd's and how they would enjoy this or what they would have to say about that and I cried the first time but then I thought, Ok, Karen, reality check- How long will it be before you EVER get to do this again Call them and cry and suck it up like a big girl, enjoy DH and relish THIS moment. And I was ok.

 

[Beth76]

I love my kids, but I also enjoy time away from them. We've left them several times (vacations) for various amounts of time. The only time I missed them was when we were trapped in Mexico for 5 extra days (beyond our scheduled 7) after Hurricane Wilma.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

I LOVE the kids! But if I could send all four away at once, for an entire week, I would. I don't really miss them when they leave. Maybe when they're all gone for good, but not for a night.

I do miss them being babies, though. I'd do almost anything to get one day back where the older ones were little again.

 

[Nite0wl71]

I LOVE the kids! But if I could send all four away at once, for an entire week, I would. I don't really miss them when they leave. Maybe when they're all gone for good, but not for a night.

I do miss them being babies, though. I'd do almost anything to get one day back where the older ones were little again.

I did that once, my brother came and took all 4 of my kids to Texas for a week. I guess I really missed them because 9 months later #5 was here

 

[megan4777]

I can't be away from our DD's (almost 3 and almost 1). I am a SAHM and even though the 1st one gets on my last nerve to the point of breaking I still can't take a night away from her.
Our DD#2 is just a baby and gets into EVERYTHING!
Dh and I are supposed to go to Toronto in Sept for our anniv but I don't think I can do it. I will think of our girls the WHOLE time.

I'm pathetic and I know it. If you give me a yr or 2, though, I will probably want a vacation!

 

[ptrbryant]

Maybe it's because DH and I became parents later in life than others (both 36 at the time), but we feel our time with DS10 is so precious and goes so fast. We had loads of "couple time" for the first 8 years of our marriage, partially due to miscarriages. During that time, we traveled to England (5x), Bermuda, and took multiple trips around the U.S. and Canada and loved our time together as a couple.

Now, we love that we're in the season of our life that's "family". DS has some auditory processing issues that lead to our decision to homeschool and--guess what! Still not tired of him! He has loads of playdates with other kids and has 8 cousins who live here, but even when he's gone for the day, I feel the house is too quiet. We know that in another 8 years or so, he'll be off (hopefully!) to college and begin his own life and we'll have plenty of "couple time" again. Sooo, 8 more years of annual family vacations...no, I don't think we'd go off to WDW without him during that time.

Karla B.