Behavior Challenge Thread

[pudge the fish]

well everyone is telling me I am crazy to worry about Swine flu- but when you have breathing issues to begin with and have had bronchitis and ' more than once even with the shots.. I am concerned.

Allergies are killing me right now- not really killing me- but I am all congested etc.. No fever though so it is all allergy.

some posts back there was talk of a rock in a jar system.. I dind't think rocks would work either so I picked up some poker chips and a plastic jar and told dd for every day her room stayed semi neat she could drop a chip in and if the room didn't stay sorta tidy I would take OUT a chip.. after 7 chips she could trade them in for various things - longer PS2 times, longer games on computer, movies etc.. OR save up chips to really trade them in for a BIG "prize"
Worked for 5 days and now she is freaking out as she is unsure what to do with her chips...maybe I need to make a shorter list or maybe I need to have her pick a slip out of a basket.
I THOUGHT I had an awesome idea but nooo- Ideas anyone??
i am checking out the four day win....i need all the help i can get

Most banks are mean and rotten- well any banks I have been with recently- had my account with one for 18 years and and my Debit card number was
*borrowed* and after cleaning out my account I had 5 checks bounce- bank told me I was going to jail as I wrote checks on a empty account- Duh the account wasn't empty when i wrote the checks. they dropped me, closed my account after 18 years of no bounced checks & no issues etc.

My Oldest did homeschool and we did multiplication & other memorization while she skipped rope.. it worked as she had trouble sitting still
we didn't sit at a desk all day. never would have worked.

to everyone

 

[mechurchlady]

Hugs Pudge tight and hands her a dole whip.

Tell her that if she cannot think of something then she can save them up for the future. Maybe every 7 chips she can exchange it for a permanent thing like a ring or game piece. Tell her that when she has 7 chips she can exchange it for the ITEM (insert name). That way she knows that it will not be taken away and that she can save up for that big prize. That way she will not freak out over loosing all of her hard work.

I got to play online with saveaquarter and her husband. He is really a nice guy. I had to quit as I am having nap attacks, stress is very high for me and Calvin is over.

Group hug and dole whips for everyone but Sue who gets carrots. You know, Sue, you can make some nice carrot cake out of them carrots.

Laurie

 

[BeckyScott]

Last night I went digging thru Justin's backpack to see what homework he had, and to see if there were any notes from school. (the end of the year is so busy and I don't want to forget anything)

They are in process of writing autobiographies. He brings home a sheet of questions to ask. Then I guess when he takes them back to school they are having the kids write the story. Earlier this week it was questions about his birth, like where he was born and had we already picked a name, those sorts of things.

The one in there now, to go back on Monday, is baby/toddler. There are maybe 6 questions, but it made me cry. What was my first word. (it was "ba" for bottle, he's always been interested in the food) But he didn't say mama until he was about 2 1/2 after I pointed out to the SLP that he hadn't ever said it and she worked with him. Was I a good sleeper. Was I a picky eater. What kind of toys did I like.

You can probably guess all the answers, because they're textbook.

The last question was to tell me some happy memories when I was a toddler. Oh man. I'll be perfectly honest with you. DS went into First Steps at 18 months and was diagnosed at 2 1/2. All of my toddler memories of him involve him sitting on our floor with *insert therapist name here*. And not much else. And I realized I guess that the only memories I have of him are not particularly good ones, although the therapists were all great people, all the memories somehow all rotate around autism. It was the new diagnosis and the hyper-focus at the time, combined with therapists being at our house almost every day of the week.

The kids in his class all know he has autism, because he announced it, and they did do autism awareness already, so it's not a matter of trying to hide it. And it is his story, it's the truth, it's just that... I don't know... it's sort of sad. I sat last night trying to seriously think of one funny story or one really happy thing, and either they didn't happen or I just don't remember them. There are moments I could re-create in detail but they're odd moments- the actual moment of diagnosis, the eval when he started First Steps, the SLP putting cereal on her forehead so he would make eye contact, the day that we had a mouse in the house and it decided to take a stroll during OT (okay, that was kinda funny), that freaky hearing test with the little clanging monkey, the Judevine guy teaching him how to use a spoon. What a wierd little autobiography.

 

[bookwormde]

Does he have any memory of any of this time period? If he does you may find that his perception is quite different than yours as the “manager”. Children who are well supported and loved and not pushed to hard to be something that they are not mostly consider that they had lots of “fun” even if it does not match the neurotypical definition.

bookwormde

 

[saveaquarter]

some posts back there was talk of a rock in a jar system.. I dind't think rocks would work either so I picked up some poker chips and a plastic jar and told dd for every day her room stayed semi neat she could drop a chip in and if the room didn't stay sorta tidy I would take OUT a chip.. after 7 chips she could trade them in for various things - longer PS2 times, longer games on computer, movies etc.. OR save up chips to really trade them in for a BIG "prize"
Worked for 5 days and now she is freaking out as she is unsure what to do with her chips...maybe I need to make a shorter list or maybe I need to have her pick a slip out of a basket.
I THOUGHT I had an awesome idea but nooo- Ideas anyone??

I think a list would help her out. The two of you could work it out together, and she'd have some sort of plan in front of her. I'd guess it's the limitless possibilities that are freaking her out.

 

[mechurchlady]

Back from DLR and checking to see how things are doing.

I was at Big Thunder Railroad on the onload side with my ECV ready to leave. Along comes a mother holding her kid by a monkey plushie type of harness. That kid was everywhere on that dock. I sat still and let them pass. That made me a believer even more in harnesses and there were lots of kids who were not special needs that had the harness on them. If not for that harness there would have been no way for her to keep her special needs child from accidently falling off that loading dock.

Hugs every one and I am waiting to see them buns, saveaquarter.
Your hubby is really nice online and I would never know he was a neurovariant from his online demeanor, so far. Lte me know which album he wants.

hugs
Laurie

Triple hugs Nicole and Becky


Hugs
to all and dole whips too
Laurie

 

[BeckyScott]

pudge, I read *somewhere* that many parents make the kid divide up their allowance. Half of it gets saved for something big, and half of it is to blow on junk.

Maybe you could adapt that?

Then she would have a plan in place.

Once she gets six chips (sorry, have to make it an even number) three of them get turned in to you for "extra time" and 3 of them go to a different jar. That jar could have a list, how many chips it will take to earn each thing. If she couldn't redeem them until she had 6, the motivation is still there, even though you've made the extra time 1/2 price.

DS did his "interview" yesterday and I managed to come up with a funny memory. I was explaining this to DH and he had the same problem I did. And bookwormde, I did ask DS and got told "I don't know". (said in a particular whine, this is his standard answer for most questions) I wonder if they are writing the autobiography as a Mother's Day present, the timing would be right on it.

 

[bookwormde]

I have received the same amswer in the same tone many times so I can appriciate it, but ocasionally DS comes out with someting really insightful or profound and it makes my day.

bookwormd

 

[KirstenB]

Becky, Justin is your younger son, right? Does he have any funny memories of him and his brother? I know what you mean about seeing things through your filter and constantly being around therapists, etc.

I could come up with a few funny moments, but if I think about the girls together, I can come up with a lot more.

 

[BeckyScott]

Kirsten, I think going all the way back to toddler tripped him up. He can tell you stuff about a year ago or maybe 2 years ago, but not much more. He also doesn't recognize any of his First Steps therapists.

We ran into his kg para a few weeks back. He almost walked right past her, but I stopped him and asked him if he knew who she was. He stared for a second, did a "Home Alone" scream and took off.

Then again my 11-year-old doesn't remember much from that age either-- he can remember one incident at preschool (tornado, so it stuck pretty well) and that's about it for him.

I also realize I have a tendancy to block parts of my history too. Which is maybe why I don't remember much. I went thru the scrapbook and there weren't any big clues in there either, mostly just us hanging out at home.

 

[mechurchlady]

Congratulations Becky on your 1000th post.

I can remember sins against me but most history is a blur. I guess what I ate yesterday is not important to me except for like that I got sick from their salad again. Some things stand out but really who cares about the past.

Big hugs and coffee
Laurie

Anyone want a spoiled brat by the way? I got so upset I started putting ketchup on the wall which means I was so close to cutting again. She cannot understand the pain she causes.

 

[saveaquarter]

I got to play online with saveaquarter and her husband. He is really a nice guy. I had to quit as I am having nap attacks, stress is very high for me and Calvin is over.

How did I miss this? J says hello, and is glad he managed to convince you

Thank you for joining us! You should more often. We try to play every night, but we are on opposite coasts, the time difference might make things a bit tricky.

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Mechurchlady, I will send you industrial size buckets of ketchup if you promise not to cut. We can always wash off the walls. That's why God invented cleaning products. Don't hurt yourself.

So I am being a responsible adult and canceling my Tree House Villas ressie and making one at CBR. My Aunt just got the news that her state job is being given a forced unpaid vacation this summer, so I am reducing the cost of our upcoming trip. Thank God I told the kids that the Villas might not be ready. They aren't so sad about not being in them if they think they are not ready to be lived in yet. Good news is that for the cost of 1 night in a THV, I get three nights in CBR with $ back. My sweet husband said, "Why in the world would you do that?" when I told him I was going to downgrade. I know he was being nice, but I secretly think he way going It'll still be fun. Any thoughts on the resort would be appreciated. I do feel a little better not being stressed about the $ I'm spending, so it's a healthy thing for me to do.

Did anyone watch Big Bang Theory last night? I just love that show. Plus, the little end credit blurb is so funny if you can pause it and read it on your DVR.

DS got two tickets for bad behavior yesterday and today. He must be in a brain scramble time again. He fell asleep after dinner at 6pm and stayed asleep until this morning. Maybe he's growing. I wonder if the stuttering will start soon, too. I read some thread on here about being sad about your ASD kid. Chalk me up on that one, too. Then I am forced to create a Cello from a dime store guitar and a yard stick and two rubber bands and I think how lucky I am to be my DS's mom.

 

[mechurchlady]

What is worse is that Mom is now all sweet and goody goody. I spent so much time in the past explaining the credit card system I use to get Disney rewards. this morning it was a DOH moment and she understood everything and even suggested that as why there was $600 taken from the bank.

I came close to cutting as I just wanted to get her to understand she was hurting me so bad. I have not felt this bad in a long time. It is after 1 pm and I have to shop at 2 or 4 stores as her diapers are not on sale at the main stores. I need to scrub bathe until I am raw and wash my hair and get all pretty for tomorrow and I have not a thing to wear.

To gauge stress I found a tool for myself. I clack my teeth until I get to a point I stop then I use my hand to tap something like my leg. If I am calm then i barely tap to stop the teeth from clacking. Right now I am going so fast that it is a bit scary and means I have a ton of nervous energy built up inside me.

I found out that the racist at the other site belongs to a certain online church. I was shocked when I found out they do instant online ordination of ministers or what every you call yourself. Further research showed me how to get from their site for $29.99 an honorary doctor of divinity degree that looks like the real one and the you can be John Smith DD plus I saw on their boards talk about getting an honorary PhD. That is so troubling me that some couple is getting married by someone ordained online and has fake degrees. What happened to the sanctity of marriage and being a person of God. That is like flipping my mind as I cannot understand this at all.

I will get by with a little help of my friends. Mom will simmer down. It has to get better doesn't it?

Becky you are so blessed by your family. I would love to stay that the expensive hotels but rather go cheap and have lots of fun and not worry about how much I can afford. I am proud of you for your rational thinking though it took a while. Would you like some apple pie?

Now for lots of happy uplifting news everyone, happy news makes us feel better.

hugs
Laurie

 

[pudge the fish]

well finally able to log on to post...
I really hate when the passwords get deleted.

I took all advice and we made a list of things DD would like to do with her chips. Right now it's a splurge at Disney so she is saving 1/2 for the splurge and blowing 1/2 on whatever - although she bought 2 books at goodwill today - not quite sure if thats *blowing $$*
Thank you everyone- even tho DD is NT we have behavior issues - there are some quirks there that this thread is so helpful with.

Dealing with end of year banquets and testing and all kinds of last minutes to get done-

happy story I had talked about a little boy whose sis is in DD class at school- he is autistic and he doesn't talk very much at all- a while back he told me I was OK 'cause I liked Mickey( mickey crocs) well this afternoon he was there again helping mom pick up sis and he hooted ( thats the only way I can describe it) at me and I waved and he hooted again kicking his feet- he had mickey crocs too now and pointed to mine and gave me the
it was so sweet and nice- Loving the Mouse doesn't need words to explain how you feel

I have stayed at CBR 1 time and it was nice- not my fav resort - but I thought nice, not bad-I like mods cause of the fridges in the rooms. there are no elevators there I think -my hubby told me he didn't think there was elevators there
here's more info from allears http://allears.net/acc/faq_cbr.htm

one day i will stay at the AKL- I have a saving penny jar for it.

Laurie Sending dole whips and hugs

are the twins here yet?? Don't they know we are all waiting for the arrival???

to everyone else and have an awesome day/ night

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Laurie, that sounds like a healthy way to gauge stress. Tapping is a good method for a lot of behavioral issues. I remember there is hypnotist from England that uses a tapping technique to stop stress and cravings.

I'm sure we'll have fun. I can have fun in a bucket.

I'm with you on the online divinity degree. Something about that is just not right. A couple of years ago, my DH hired an accountant that the temp agency sent over. She was a nice girl with a B.A. degree in accounting. She could not even balance a checkbook, let alone do anything listed in her responsibilities for the position. She was opening bills and hiding them in her file cabinets so she didn't have to deal with them. They found out she hadn't paid basic bills for the company in months. She had every excuse in the book for all her mistakes. So my DH looks up the college that she graduated from, and lo and behold, she had a Bachelors from an online only school. I just think that to make a moral leap into religion with an online degree gets a little dicey. Lt's hope that guy isn't counseling anyone. Sheesh.

 

[saveaquarter]

Did anyone watch Big Bang Theory last night? I just love that show. Plus, the little end credit blurb is so funny if you can pause it and read it on your DVR.

That's our favorite show. J is a slightly more polite version of Sheldon. Only he's a historian, not a theoretical physicist.

We are rooting for a Sheldon/Penny fling in this household.

are the twins here yet?? Don't they know we are all waiting for the arrival???

Oh I'm sure they are well aware of that. They are taking after their mother's side of the family already, late for their own birthday.

 

[mechurchlady]

The tapping is a measure and not a solution. I used a straw in a restaurant to relieve pressure and in bed I tap the headboard with my foot.I just got to keep it where it is not making the tooth hurt and right now the stress is pretty bad but with some happy thoughts, stress relieving stuff, and good food and sleep it gets better for a while. My TMj/bruxilism was dormant but is back.

Mom has gone through her cycle as is typical of neurovariants. She freaked out over change and could not adapt. I had told her last week about my plans. At first she did not want Calvin to bring her food. Today she has her plans in case Calvin does not show up. She does not need me. There are people out there living alone and in wheelchairs.

So now my stress is high because of the bad people in life especially the bad drivers, ooh, that can really aggravate the stress. Dude cuts in front of me then has to stop at the light. I am screeching to a halt and if he had stayed in his lane he would have passed the car in front of me and made the light. Bad parkers who make it hard to get into a parking space. I met lots of nice people at the grocery stores which more than make up for bad drivers and bad parkers, lol.

Stress is high because of the event I am going to at DCA, the Spain dinner. I was going to pack toiletries and toothbrush and wash my hair and buy new clothes but then last night something hit me hard. I was at Naples Ribs and I was worried about how I would look in this high class part of Long Beach. Everyone was casual and then at the end of the meal in comes a woman in short shorts. Here I was fussing about how I looked and there were all these people ignoring me and instead were slobbering on rib bones. I guess I am saying I worry about what the neurotypicals think of me too much. I had a great gluten free meal and the ribs and corn muffins were casein free. Only allergen was the butter on the corn muffin. I had a great salad wit balsamic dressing, crispy fries and a huge rack of ribs. I had to bring home some. I was very good last night and did not buy any corn, rice or potato chips. I swear the potato chips has a bullhorn and was shouting PICK ME, YUMMY, CRUNCHY SNACK, PICK ME. I am proud of myself for that.

I was supposed to leave now but am going to rest for a bit then head out. Have you noticed that neurovariants have their meltdowns then are oblivious to the damage? Mom does not understand the stress she put me through or how damaging her words were yesterday. She is all about plans for today and will be helping me out. She is proud of helping me with little things.

I love her despite her flaws.
Saveaquarter are you planning on having the twins in WDW maybe Epcot?
bookwormde I wish you had been around earlier, I could have used my knight.
Pudge you are doing great as the board cheerleader and thanks for making things so bright here.
All you moms with special kids please love them and keep telling us about the good and bad times. I have learned so much from you all.
Wait until it is not an NV moment but just boys will be boys and men being men, lol.

Hugs
thanks for the memories
Laurie

 

[Earstou]

I have received the same amswer in the same tone many times so I can appriciate it, but ocasionally DS comes out with someting really insightful or profound and it makes my day.

bookwormd

I usually get the same answer!
Our dog that we've had for almost 20 years died Monday, and my ds came up with some nice memories of her as we buried her. I was so shocked that he spoke up and shared them.
But now I'm worried about him because he's barely talking at all and I know he is hurting. We got his driver's license yesterday (were supposed to get it Monday) which he had been looking forward to, but he wasn't able to get excited about it, poor kid. I'll try to keep him busy while he is home, but he also has to have quiet time for homework. We are going on a trip to his cousins for a graduation party this weekend, so that will help. Just need to get thru the rest of the week.

 

[Tiggerish]

To Earstou, I am sorry about your dog , it is hard to have a long time pet go, even if you know it is coming. If you are not planning on getting another pet and have left over unopened food or other products, many food pantries would love to have them. Would it help you son to have him take them to donate?