Behavior Challenge Thread

[Kat77]

C&G and Grace-
There is something on Tony Attwoods site called a CAT Kit that is used in CBT to help children understand and learn to control emotions. DS9 used this kit at Cook Childrens with a therapist. He really liked doing the worksheets and it did seem to help at the time. http://www.catkit-us.com/
In fact, he made a poster today with the play therapist that was probably based on the worksheets. All he could talk about driving home was visualizing a stop sign, relaxing his body and taking three deep breaths whenever he begins to feel anxious I'd been looking for CBT programs over the weekend so I am amazed this was what they did today without me saying anything! Right now my kid is fixated on Doctor Who. I think the therapist was having a hard time understanding his comments when they were all referencing situations of a series that she had never seen... I happen to love the series so the hypothetical Dalek situations he keeps coming up with are great.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Thanks Kat, although I'm a bit taken aback at the price! Yikes!

dd's OT had a BRILLIANT idea today! She said instead of trying to engage dd in conversation about emotions and how to deal with them (and just make her frustrated), try narrating and modeling proper anger management myself. In other words: "Whew that man just pulled out in front of me. That really makes me angry! I am going to take some deep breaths so I can calm down. Can you think of anything else I can do to calm down?" Like a living Social Story. With me as the lead. Also, the OT gave me some Social Stories to use at home. So tonight I asked dd if she wanted to play school. So I started teaching "the class" about RED words and GREEN words. At first she protested, but after imaginary "Billy" had some good answers dd volunteered some samples of the words also (green being words that make us feel good and red being words that can make us feel bad-like stupid, can't, wrong, and hate). I then "taught" the class about what we can do when we are scared/frustrated/angry in the classroom. #1 Take Deep breaths #2 Take a walk (to bathroom or water fountain, etc) #3 Tell the teacher #4 Squeeze our squishies (putty or ball)

So then tonight she was being a little too aggressive with me and I said "I am feeling kind of angry because of your words right now. I am going to take some deep breaths so I can calm down." And you know what she said? She said "Are you going to take a walk?"

Anyway, I think this is a great idea: doesn't target her or make her feel attacked, diffuses situations by her watching ME calm down using techniques, and models emotional modulation/control.

I think it's great for now! the OT (who is my Godsend!) said once I do this for a while I can implement a "tracking" system of sorts where calming down earns rewards.

Fingers Crossed! Ok, so is this so common sense I am just a horrible parent for never thinking of this? Well, better late than never!

 

[Kat77]

Thanks Kat, although I'm a bit taken aback at the price! Yikes!

Fingers Crossed! Ok, so is this so common sense I am just a horrible parent for never thinking of this? Well, better late than never!

The kit is really pricy for an individual... behavior therapists who own the kit use them with their clients. I was looking for someone who uses the kit.

And no... it is not something we naturally do as parents, don't feel bad! Most kids learn coping skills through everyday interaction. Our kids just need a little extra guidance in that area.

Your OT's idea is awesome! You got a keeper!

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Grace, I only have a minute, but that is great! What a great technique. I sometimes do the same for my son and it works well. I think I am an over-explainer (that's what my husband says!) so I may just do this naturally. But it really helps when you let the coping skills "slide" in sideways.

That's what I call them...Coping Skills. I even have given lectures about Coping Skills to my family members. My brother-in-law wants me to make a Youtube video of my Coping Skills talk that I gave my niece not too long ago. Apparently, he reminds her of it all the time when she starts to lose it. And it was funny, because the last time she spent the day with me, I got angry about something and started to grumble and she walked up to me and whispered, "Remember your coping skills!"

All good here, but waiting for behavior to ramp up for the end of school.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

End of school behavior is at full scale overload here!

Yes, the school thought it would be wonderful to count down to the last day. So every day is a "special" day. Today was hat day. Friday was bring your favorite fruit day. Can you guys understand what trauma dd goes through with this???!!! It took HOURS for her to decide a favorite fruit (had to be the absolute favorite after much pondering of the pros and cons of each fruit-and yes, she almost took an avocado! ) Anyway, today she wouldn't take a hat because the preseverating was at an all time high and I had to stop the madness! So, I have 18 more days of this! Uggghhh.

And dd is still so out of control. She ran into a deck railing today and has a bruised forehead, side of nose, and down the leg. And I've heard about 15 times how she CAN'T go to school tomorrow! I'm really, REALLY trying to be patient and understanding but I'm about to lose my mind I think.... (ok deep breaths....)

Put out an ad at the local state college for a Sp Ed major to watch dd one on one during the summer. I'm hoping to get some good candidates. Really, when you think about it this would be a great opportunity for an undergrad to get some first hand knowledge about what it's like to interact with a child with Autism.

Hope all is well with everyone!

 

[bookwormde]

Be ware most sped college programs have almost no training is aspergers. It is better to include in your request for a studnet who has a sibling or close family member with HFA or Aspergers, since they have a lifetime of training + the SPED info.

I know I am a "pain" but did she really want to do the favorite fruit thing or was she just doing to because she was "supposed to"

bookwormde

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Be sure to ask around with the Para's at your school, too. Sometimes it's a no-no, but some of the really nice ones have offered to help me over the summer or with sitting, etc.

I hate the countdown thing. We have it, too and it makes a lot of pressure for our kids. My son has been really acting out for him, and I can tell he's trying to keep the lid on it and it's not working.

Grace, I wish you lived closer. You need a good friend and an understanding ear. Here is a big hug from me. I know things are tough.

Okay, so I went ahead and booked the trip for the end of Free Dining Oct 2-7. It's just my Aunt and me and the kids. It's something she has really wanted to do. SHe has come to the conclusion that her husband is a little "on the spectrum" and he just acts out when having to to a trip like this. We aren't telling the husbands about our trip until right before we go. I was going to put it off but then we decided that the kids were only going to be into hanging out with us for a few more years, so we should make hay while the sun shines.

 

[C&G'sMama]

DDM - Yay for booking a trip and Grace too.

I'm tempted but am being good. Besides I can't go until after October 15th because of work so free dining would need to be extended.

Still holding out for April/May 2011.

Still workin' on the teletransport so we can all get together when needed.

I am hoping someday our trips will line up so we can meet in the flesh. The support we get here is invaluable.

-A

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Be ware most sped college programs have almost no training is aspergers. It is better to include in your request for a studnet who has a sibling or close family member with HFA or Aspergers, since they have a lifetime of training + the SPED info.

I know I am a "pain" but did she really want to do the favorite fruit thing or was she just doing to because she was "supposed to"

bookwormde

I can try to find someone with HFA in their family but I live in a very small town so that may be hard....I was going to very extensively interview and background check. Of course, I'm not paying much so....

As far as wanting to vs supposed to, well she definitely did it because she was supposed to. It wasn't a pleasant experience deciding, fraught with indecision and panic over needing to pick "the best". This is a problem with the countdown, she cannot discern the importance of the task at hand so a minor "request" from school becomes a source of anxiety. And I really find it concerning that the school has no concept of how this can be difficult for a child on the spectrum.

I have to say here, and I am a bit sad to say it, that I have seen the Special Ed kids with their teachers and paras in the halls of the school. These kids are SO debilitated. These are non verbal or MR kiddos so I am actually glad the chain of events happened in a way that kept dd out of that classroom. God bless the parents of those kids, I have to remember that things could be so much worse than my situation. And so this leads me to realize that in our school at least, there are those debilitated kids and everyone else is mainstreamed with little support. Because dd is bright academically, she is forced to get by with the current programming. DD's handwriting is not near the other kids in the class but they say "do not worry".

Here is dd's writing:

And here are her classmates writings:

Do you think I should be concerned? dd has been in 2 years of OT plus done Handwriting Without Tears. I know this is common I just don't what I should be doing...Any suggestions??? I am really worried that 2nd grade is going to be hard given her differences.


ps. I booked Free Dining for 9/22-27. I am thinking about cancelling our upcoming trip 5/29-6/4 and just plan on the Sept trip. I have to keep myself in check because I can get such good deals I think "I just HAVE to take advantage of this!". I know, I am a sucker!

DDM, I wish I lived closer too. Not only would it be great to have a friend that "gets it" but our kids could play together too!

Someday we REALLY should have a DIS Meet at WDW!!!

 

[steph124ny]

Just wanted to comment on the handwriting...my son is 14 and going into high school. His handwriting is no better than your DD's. I'll see if I can find a sample. Thank goodness for computers and the fact that he can type about 150 WPM! LOL!!!

Here is a sample of him filling out paperwork for summer camp: Keep in mind the child is entering high school and cannot write on a line or at an appropriate size!!! LOL!

 

[Kat77]

Red Ribbon Week and the like are nightmarish here. The VP is great about waving us past check-in when we stroll in 15 mintues late for school on those days. He gets it, I will miss that man next year. DS9 used to stess over pajama days but has began looking forward to them over the years... pj's are preferable to jeans sensory wise. I am glad he has one event he really looks forward too.
Ugh! Grace's district sounds like it is still runs old school sp.ed dept and not much else. Thankfully, special services work very differently for us. Most children with disabilities are main streamed (to the least restrictive enviroment) with pull-out help for their specific needs- Content Mastery teacher for classwork, speech, O/T.... We do have special ed classrooms (forget what they are called now) but they are for the kids with severe disabilities only. It is quite normal for kids to be coming and going for services in regular classrooms now.
Example: DS9 needs a safe place to escape the classroom when he feels overwelmed by the bustle (Content Mastery room). He is in the mainstream G/T class with same work but with less content (think odds only!). Depending on the child, some kids will go to c.m. for reading help (dyslexia) while others may use it as a retreat. DD12 is now allowed to pick a staff member (with private office) she trusts rather than safe area to go to if she is having trouble contolling her tics... she was obviously very uncomfortable using the c.m. class. Don't know who suggested this accomodation but ! Obviously, the system is not perfect... I am homeschooling right now because of a failure in our plan... but it has come a long way since we were in school.
I think it might help to hear what we all have going on that is working and not working. Then we can all get ideas of what to advocate for next in kids IEP's.

 

[Brightsy]

Grace,
Your DDs handwriting is so much nicer than both of my kids! My younger DS is 8 and in the 2nd grade.
Sad thing is, your DDs handwriting is worlds better than my ADHD almost 11 yr. old DS. Oh, when he takes his time it's lovely, but more often than not he just writes and it's awful. He's had OT on and off again for years. He'll see an OT for a few months, they'll say he's all good and discontinue therapy and then a couple months later we're at square one. (Our new school is finally going to include on-going OT for him!!!)

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Thanks everyone for making me feel better. I think when I look at her writing compared to her peers I notice a difference. She puts forth a trenedous amount of effort to get perhaps 1/4 the work and definitely not the quality.

Good thing handwriting is not as important as it once was! But it is definitely a source of frustration!

I had a little wig-out this am. DD crying and begging not to go to school--I sat and wrote a note to the teacher basically saying come on, three more weeks, please don't lose all her supports now!

Kat, I wonder how well my dd could do with the wonderful supports at your school!

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Let's see, Grace, your DD's handwriting is not terrible. My son is a year ahead and his is much the same. Same amount of OT and everything. As for how handwriting affects people's life...my sister was always in trouble for having illegible handwriting and now she's a lawyer. Unless we return to pre-computer days, who cares? I know it seems like there are lots of mis-spellings, etc. but this new fancy English teaching focuses on content, not correction at that age. What 1st grader know what a "Nootria" is? My mother has a Nutria fur coat-for real-

I want to make a project for us on the BCT (Behavior Challenge Thread). It involves WDW and life and helping each other. If you are truly part of our gang, even if you are a lurker but you love us, then PM me so I can tell you my idea. It involves a little work, but should be easy for all of you. I don't want to blurt it out because then everyone will copy it.

I am so excited that my friend from the Disney Store is coming on my trip with me. She is such a sweetie and has been going to WDW for years and years but never gets to ride the rides she wants or eat at the restaurants she wants because she goes with family, so this is our "Break Free" trip. We are making a list of Must Do's and it'll be fun, fun, fun.

Going to get stuff to build a chicken coop today. How much fun is that? My DS loves chickens and we are finally making an effort to find him something he likes to do at the farm.

 

[disneymom3]

It is hard to not worry about hand writing even when we are told not to though, isn't it? I wonder why that is. HOwever, Grace your DDs writing is on par or maybe a bit better than my son with dysgraphia who is in 4th grade. He does fairly well now with all capitals and I have decided I am just not going to stress either of us out. Like that application that Steph showed up there...if my son fills something like that out with all capital letters, is it really going to matter? Probably not. So, with encouragement from our doc and OT, I am working with him on keyboarding.

 

[C&G'sMama]

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY ALL

DS provided entertainment for DP, mommy. (For me we celebrate "Mama's Day" on Father's day). He did the "can can" with the music and warned us to duck for the grand finale

We weren't sure if he was putting his new chemistry set to use, but it was his foam rocket.

 

[disneycruising]

I hoping some of my great DiS friends can help me figure out my DD (16)school testing (psychoeducational assessment) says: she has a delay in visual processing that affects her visual memory and visual motor integration

Does anyone know that this means, how it will affect her in school & what kind of.. modifations...I can ask for in school.

Right know she is on a 504 because of Aspergers & ADD. All she gets right now is help in note taking (they give her an outline) & Tests (she get to take her tests in the counseling office).

Math is really hard for her! Right know she has a D in Geometry. All her other classes she is getting a C- in. She has only past a few test in all of her school years. With the testing modifcation she has been able to sometimes get a C-...but not always.

I am just at a loss for what more I can do for her!

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Disneycruising: I don't know anything about a visual processing delay. Sorry I can't be of more help.

The parent of the friend who dd had the "episode" with at the pizza place contacted me to meet with her. I met with her last night and she explained that she would like to explain to her dd about "Asperger's". She asked me for information on how to inform her dd of my dd's differences. While I think this is a good idea it has left me wondering how I should talk to my own dd about her AS, should the other girl say something about it on our upcoming trip.

I have a very good candidate for the summer Nanny job for my dd. She has a sister with Aspergers and has also taught dance to children with AS and other behavioral issues. I am hoping to meet her next week and get the terms of the job hammered down. She has emailed me and her understanding of AS is phenomenal. She is currently in her senior year of a psychology degree and will be pursuing a Masters in Educational Psychology. She hopes to be an educational dignostician. She has given me some great hope for some behavior modification startegies that were helpful in her own experiences. Not only that but her email seemed very insightful about how each person with AS has their special strengths and weaknesses.

Anyway, that's what's going on here. If anyone has any suggestions on how to broach the subject of her differences with dd let me know.

Hope all is well.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

BTW, allow me a proud mama moment here: dd scored the best in her class on the math benchmark they just did.

Math is definitely her forte!

 

[bookwormde]

Math is her first language, I think you daughter might give this "nanny" the best education she could get.

bookwormde