"bedtime" for teens...

[Freyja]

My 15 year old goes to bed at 11- 11:30 on weeknights and about an hour to 1 1/2 hours later on weekends.

 

[TinkerBellSam]

My DD15 is in bed between 10:00 and 10:30 most nights. At the bust stop at 6:45, so up at about 5:00 except practice mornings then she is up and out the door by 4:30 (year round swimmer, 9 practices a week). She is not necessarily sleeping, sometimes texting or talking on phone. No TV or computer in her room. Most nights I think she falls asleep pretty quick. Sunday mornings only day to sleep in (not past 10:00 am) so she can stay up on Sat nights.

DD12 is in bed by 9:00 on school nights.

When we were growing up my mother always said "I love you, but not after 9:00 pm!" parents need some time too.

 

[Acklander]

By the teen years I pretty much expect the kids to be responsible for their own time management. (both going to bed and getting up). They don't always make smart choices, but they live with the fall out. As long as he was getting up for school on time, I'd probably stay out of it.
While they do recommend 9 hours sleep for teens keep in mind some people naturally need less sleep than others. I once read an article about Martha Steward saying that she only sleeps 4 or 5 hours a night. She's always been that way and just doesn't need that much sleep.
Personally, unless I'm sick, I've never needed more than 6 hours a night (this started about the age of 12). If I go to bed earlier, then I'm wide awake at 2AM and am stuck in bed just waiting for the alarm to go off. Not fun.

 

[Tantor]

My DD (14) is in bed at 10
googled this:

According to the American Sleep Disorders Association, the average teenager needs around 9.5 hours of sleep per night, possibly because hormones that are critical to growth and sexual maturation are released mostly during slumber. Yet studies show that teenagers generally get an average of only 7.4 hours a night. This is far short of the desired quota for healthy teens. Find out how lack of sleep affects school here.


Researchers at Stanford University found in a study that teenagers require more sleep, by 1 to 2 hours, than do their younger 9- and 10-year-old siblings, who only require about 8 hours of sleep. This contradicts parents, since we tend to give later bed times and curfews to our children as they get older.

 

[aprilgail2]

By the teen years I pretty much expect the kids to be responsible for their own time management. (both going to bed and getting up). They don't always make smart choices, but they live with the fall out. As long as he was getting up for school on time, I'd probably stay out of it.
.

I agree! By the time they are teenagers they should be learning how to be responsible on there own without mommy giving them a bedtime. On weekends my daughter stays up as late as she wants- as long as she is up and awake for whatever we have going on the next day its fine with me. I do try to get her in bed by 1030 or 11.....she is only 10 years old though, not a teenager!

 

[nexttrip4us]

Wow--my kids have it rough ! Our oldest is 11.5 and lights out is between 8 and 8:30. He wakes up around 6:00. My younger kids are in bed between 7 and 7:30 and also get up around 6:00. They are all very happy and rarely sick so I'm hoping the sleep they get has something to do with that!

 

[golfgal]

Kids need what they need. Just because a study says they need 9 hours of sleep doesn't mean that is what every teenager needs. If our kids didn't have to get up until 7:30 they could easily stay up past 10:30 and be fine. As it is our DS15 and DD15 go to bed around 10:00 and are asleep around 10:30 but they get up at 5:45. Our DS17 is rarely asleep by 10:30, usually closer to 11:30. The twins are almost always awake before their alarm goes off so I know they are getting enough sleep.

 

[PatsGirl]

While I agree that parents should start loosening the apron strings at 15, I don't agree that kids that age know what is best for them or trust them to do it IMHO it is important that kids still have guidelines (if not rules) and be expected to follow them.

Ask any teacher about tired teenagers and you'll get an earful. Their grades suffer and they lack the motivation needed to succeed. Sure, staying up to cram for finals or a project or the occasional social event never killed anyone but getting 5 or 6 hours of sleep each night is not good.

I had the same problem with DS throughout high school but the difference was that he would nap an hour or two most early evenings and then get a second wind. In the end, he was getting about 7 hours each night and I let it go at that. His grades weren't great but that was more about ambition than sleep I think the biggest mistake I made was allowing him to have a tv in his room. Like alot of other posters here he also had the basement to himself, with a bedroom, mini-kitchen and playroom, never again!

I think 10:30 for television off and 11:30 for lights out might work. If he starts reading or listening to his Ipod instead of tv he might fall asleep At the least, it's a compromise and that's what he's really looking for at the moment

 

[The Mystery Machine]

By middle school my teens set their own bedtime. I am not staying up to find out what time they go to bed.

If they are a "zombie" then oh well.

 

[vettechick99]

I read a study recently that when kids hit their teen years, their sleeping schedule shifts. They naturally won't get tired til later, and will sleep later. The study was talking about how moving the high school start time back an hour decreases tardies and truency. So his changing sleep schedule is biological. Something to think about!

 

[Christine]

I tell my son that I want him in his room at 9:30. He has no TV or gaming device in there. I told him if he wasn't tired, he could read. He does that often so he can wind down. He gets up at 5:00 a.m.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

At this age my 2 girls went to bed on their own. They knew they had to get up for school and understund their limits.
My 19 DD would stay up till midnight some nights but my 16 DD goes to bed about 10:30 during the week.

 

[ckay87]

I read a study recently that when kids hit their teen years, their sleeping schedule shifts. They naturally won't get tired til later, and will sleep later. The study was talking about how moving the high school start time back an hour decreases tardies and truency. So his changing sleep schedule is biological. Something to think about!

Yes, this is absolutely true. I've read articles related to this, but you simply have to live with a teenager or two to see it in action. I have a 14 and 17 year old. The very first night of a weekend or vacation, they automatically stay up till the wee hours and sleep late the next day. Think about whether we (adults) can do that. Even on a Friday or Saturday night when we may not have to wake up early the next morning, we still have a natural sleep schedule where we at least feel like we need to go to bed. Teenagers, on the other hand, will immediately bounce to that late night/late morning schedule.

Plus, it's no coincidence that the VAST majority of teenagers are this way. It's not the lazy handful or even the lazy half. This (in my observations) applies to most teenagers. Myself included back in the day.

The way I play it with my teens is that I do make them GO to bed at a certain time. I can't make them sleep, but I make them get in their rooms at 10:30 or 11. They probably close their eyes much later than that, however.

 

[Momvic5]

I am so glad I stumbled upon this thread....I have a 14yr old son who stays up until midnight almost every school night and even later on weekends. I have fought myself on this issue. The mom in me wants him to go to bed earlier for his health, but I also know that forcing the issue doesn't really help the situation. As long as he is considerate of those of us sleeping, not being sneaky with his actions, and getting up and functioning properly, I will let him determine his own bedtime. It is comforting to know that we are not the only family with a late night teenager.

Lately; however, he has started coming into my bedroom right before midnight to talk with my dh and me. My dh and I try our hardest to stay awake and talk with him because we know that these "midnight talk sessions" are probably going to be short-lived. We've decided that losing 20-30 minutes of sleep each night to listen and talk with him is worth it. I guess he feels that this is only time in the day or I should say night that we are all still and in one place. Teenagers...you gotta love them!

 

[wvjules]

If he has aspirations beyond high school and wants to pursue a career, then he needs to get to bed earlier. If he just wants to 'get a job' after high-school, then he can just maintain the current track. It is up to him, but gosh, you have a lot of input at this point.
Please, continue with encouragement of an earlier bedtime. Nothing, and I mean nothing good, comes from staying up most of the night.

What?

 

[cheermom1]

I didn;t read all the replies but my oldest 2 go to bed at 10 but they don't always get there at that time. That is ok b/c they go to bed no later than 10:30 most nights but they can handle themselves and know if they need more sleep or not.

My stepson on the other hand can't handle it. I've been around them for 7 years now and I know how they react to things and they need way more sleep and supervision then my kids do. what I mean is they HAVE to be told to go to bed or they won;t. They will just stay up all night and sleep all day. not healthy, for school or anything. Anyway with them I have to set a set bed time period. I hate that I have to do different things with them than I do with my own but I have to look at this way, all kids are different and I have treat them different according to each kid. I think the main problem that my step kids have is that at their moms they have a set schedule for everything and are told when to do everything and how that they are just so used to it that they don't know how to handle the simple task of going to bed when they are tired.

I find that to be real sad b/c I feel they don't have the skills they need to listen to their bodies.

my point is op what is his schedule like at his moms and how would that effect him at your house? I do think he needs to be going to be at a reasonable time.

I know for me that is 10 b/c we work and my dh gets up really early but we don;t have a place the kids can stay up and not disturb anyone unless they are not talking or playing, which the main problem we have here. this is a huge issue for me b/c I have been going through the same thing only that my stepsons will not be quite or care that anyone else is trying to sleep. They just run through the house and carry on like they are the only ones here.

 

[Mermaid02]

I would probably let this be between my stepson and his father. I'd stay out of it.

 

[wvjules]

I would probably let this be between my stepson and his father. I'd stay out of it.

 

[Pigeon]

My oldest is now 12 and is complaining that most of her peers go to bed much later than she does, but she also realizes that if she doesn't get enough sleep she feels lousy during the day.

If it were my kid, I'd make him go to his room at 10:30, with no electronic distractions--no TV, no computer, no video games, no cell phone. If he wants to read quietly until he feels sleepy, fine.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

My oldest is 13. He has been putting himself to bed for years. He knows the consequences of us having to wake him up more than once in the morning or failing grades, so he goes to bed early enough (usually before 10pm). When he decides to stay up later, we don't even mention it. He will suffer the consequences if he doesn't get enough sleep.

My 10 year old - well, we may be telling him when to go to bed into his 30s. Consequences?