bed time question

[terri01p]

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

But I do know that by junior / senior year, the idea of a fixed bedtime may very well go out the window if your DS's school work load is as heavy as mine was. Often I was actually up studying until past 10pm by the time I was 16.

Just some thoughts.

Same here. I've always been a night owl, as you can see by the hour I'm posting this , but homework and studying alone often kept me up after midnight. Thankfully, my high school did not begin until 9:30am. It was wonderful.

 

[MichelleVW]

Let me first say that I agree that every child is different. I also haven't yet reached the age where my kids are trying to push bedtime back to unreasonable times. When my kids become teens I think bedtime will be 9 or 9:30 during the week, possibly 10 at the very latest. I can't see myself allowing an 11 pm bedtime especially during the school week.

I have seen many kids (and I'm talking more Elementary aged) that look (and act) like walking zombies because they are allowed to choose their own bedtime or have a late bedtime. I haven't read the studies previously mentioned, but I can see with my own eyes that many kids look like they need more sleep.

I think you have to do what is right for your kid and your family's lifestyle. Like many posters said, when the kid starts acting tired make sure you adjust the bedtime accordingly.

When they come home from practice or a game at 9-10 on a school night and still have homework good luck with that bedtime. When my DD was a middle school cheerleader she wouldn't get home from some games until 8 or 9, then came 2 hours of homework, so there were many late nights. Then came cheering for high school basketball and a job where she would get home at 11 or so, then up for school at 6ish.

Bedtimes in high school are way hard to enforce if your kid is active in anything.

 

[PatsGirl]

DD has a 9:30 bedtime on school nights and usually falls asleep by 11 on the weekends. If she has friends over on the weekend, I just ask for lights out at 11 and then they can giggle and talk all they want

While I agree that every child is different, I also believe that too many kids are sleep-deprived in our society due to lack of bedtimes and over-scheduling of activities. DD needs 9 hours of solid sleep to perform well. She gets up between 6:30 and 7:00 for middle school but will have to get up an hour earlier for high school (the bus will pick her up at 6:20 am ~ how's that for ridiculous?). We've already started talking about how she'll need to be in bed by 9 at the latest during high school. Will I enforce a bedtime then? Hopefully I won't need to, she will be accountable for herself and know that a good nights' sleep is beneficial to her.

On the other end, I've never allowed my children to sleep the mornings away. If DD is not up by 9 am, I wake her up so we can start our day. This helps at bedtime too. The research I've read says that you should sleep and wake as close to the same time every day, instead of early bed/rise during the week and late bed/rise on the weekends.

 

[luvsJack]

Dd has activities that sometimes do not end early enough for her to get in bed "on time. I don't change her actual bed time though.

For instance on dance lessons nights we get home late. I just tell her that everything (homework, supper, etc.) has to be done before lessons and the when we get home she just has to get a bath and go to bed. Same thing with Wednesday night church activities and will be the same when softball practice starts.

Other nights she is in bed no later than 9 (she is 11) and some times as early as 8:30, just depends on her. She is not hard to get up and feels better during the day if she gets enough sleep. Since I have been more strict with her bedtimes (she used to stay up until 9:30 or 10) I have seen a definite improvement in her grades and almost no attitude problems.

We also spend many Sunday afternoons laying around watching movies, have supper really early and a very early bedtime. It gives her an extra well rested start for the week. (and is nice for me too!)


ETA: even when my boys played jr. high football and basketball in school they were able to do their homework before the games. The coaches kept them after school so that they could make sure the guys rested before the games, got a good meal, and didn't have to have a ride back to the game. During the down time, they could work on homework. Didn't work this way in high school though and baseball was really hard because they had 2 or 3 games a week ALL of school nights.

 

[::Snow_White::]

I'm 17 now and I've been going to bed at 9 since...forever. I get up at 5 in the morning though, and if I don't get to bed before 10 I'm really cranky. I'm definately a morning person and not a night owl.

So I don't know how people can stay up past 10 or 11! I know a lot of kids that stay up till around midnight every night, so I'm sure 9:30 is probably early to him.

 

[golfgal]

Our kids haven't had a bedtime in years, they do however got to bed around the same time every night, usually around 9:00 but then they read in bed for 30 minutes or so. DS14 gets up at 5:30 without his alarm clock so I figure he is getting enough sleep. DD uses her alarm clock to wake up at 6:00 but she gets up at 6:30 on weekends without it so not a big deal. DS17 still needs about 10 hours of sleep at night and doesn't get that much. There is no way he could be asleep by 8:00 at night but is usually asleep by 9:30.

I guess I don't see the need for a "rule" for the kids--they know if they are tired or not.

 

[elgerber]

My son is 16 and a half, we try to get him to turn off the lights around 10ish, it's usually more like 10:15. He complains sometimes. But, he has to get up at 5:40 am to shower and get to school. If I let him go to bed at his own time, he would read until 1-2 am. I know, because we tried it once LOL. On the weekends we are more lenient, but getting up that early, he really needs to get to sleep.

 

[pyrxtc]

3 of my kids , DS6, DS9, and DD13 all go to bed at 8:30. lately DD13 has been having to go to bed at 8:30 but can stay up til 9 to read.

DD doesn't always get up when she needs to 5:45 am and driving her to school is a big to do and she will always be late if I have to drive her since her school starts an hour before my boys and I need to get them off before I can drive her.

It doesn't make sense for her to be staying up later when she has to get up and get to school earlier than previous years.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

After 10 we have no bedtime.

 

[bluesaturn]

These studies were on middle school students. The book goes on to explain that the correlations spike even more in high schoolers, because that is when there is a steep sleep drop-off. A study showed that teens who scored A's averaged 15 minutes more sleep than ones who got B's, who averaged 15 minutes more sleep than ones who scored C's. Wow, every 15 minutes counts!

Really was an eye-opening (or shutting?) chapter for me.

I'll respect the research, but that seems very backward to me. When I was in high school, the kids getting straight As and in honors always got the least amount of sleep. Because we stayed up to do homework, either because we had more or we spent more time on it. I understand the study is saying sleep impacts IQ, but I think time has a large influence on high school grades.

I don't know anyone that went to bed before at least 10 in high school. Between sports, clubs and organizations, and then homework I honestly don't know how you can fit it all in before 10. But our school did start at 8 so that helped a bit (no 7:20 start times).

 

[cristit14]

DS 11 I try to have lights out on school days by 9 or so, but lately it has been closer to 930. DD14 is usually in bed by 9 on school days too, but school starts at 715, she is tired. On weekends they don't really have a bedtime.

 

[MichelleVW]

I'll respect the research, but that seems very backward to me. When I was in high school, the kids getting straight As and in honors always got the least amount of sleep. Because we stayed up to do homework, either because we had more or we spent more time on it. I understand the study is saying sleep impacts IQ, but I think time has a large influence on high school grades.

I don't know anyone that went to bed before at least 10 in high school. Between sports, clubs and organizations, and then homework I honestly don't know how you can fit it all in before 10. But our school did start at 8 so that helped a bit (no 7:20 start times).

I agree. My DD18 didn't get much sleep in high school thanks to homework, cheer, drama, work etc and she graduated with honors and is now a freshman at UT.

 

[luvsJack]

There have always been studies showing that most high schoolers have a sleep deficiency and every study has shown the connection of this lack of sleep and grades and behavior.

I don't think that it can be helped that high school students are going to miss sleep because of late games or other activities but I think that its the night after night after night of being night owls that will make a definite difference.

Like I said, when my sons were in hs they had late games too. But then on the nights they didn't have a game, they didn't go out, homework was done as soon as they came in from school or practice and they went to bed at a decent hour. It just needs to be made up somewhere. The kids that stay up until after midnight on a nightly basis are just more likely to have troubles (of course there are always exceptions).

Maybe the sleep deficiency has a little to do with so many wrecks involving kids driving to and from school too?

 

[PRmamiDEdos]

hi all..... we have the following bed times in our house.....
dd 8...... 8;30
dd12.........9:00
ds 14........ 9:30


last night at dinner our ds14 whose a freshman in High School remarked that non of his friends had a bed time and that 9:30 for an almost 15 year old was kind of babbyish...... I told him I'd think about it and am sort of agreeing with him..... I NEVER had a bedtime as a kid and did well in school and life.......he really is a good kid..........has all honor classes... straight a's.......helps around the house... babysits his sister.... hangs with a good group of kids.... respectful etc etc etc..............
so do I give him free reign........do I tell him he just needs to retire to his room by 10 or 11pm and go to bed when he feel he needs too..... and judge how he does?????

Both my children are in bed by 9, 9:30 the latest, no TV, lights off. They're 8 & 10. They're up by 6:30 in the morning so I want to make sure they get a good night's rest. I think for a 15 y/o, I would just make sure he's in bed in time for him to get at least 6 hours solid sleep.

I teach a religion class full of 12 y/o's and there is this one kid who is CONSTANTLY falling asleep and yawning during class. When I asked him what time he's supposed to be in bed, he said he doesn't have a set bed-time and goes to sleep whenever he wants. I think by not having a good night's rest, he's worn out by 5PM.

 

[ORMom2Four]

We enforce bedtimes for our teens during the weekdays only.

DD17 & DS15 need to be in bed between 10-10:30
DS7 & DS4 go to bed at 7

Our kids are seem to need a lot of sleep. Our youngest kids always sleep 12 hours, and our teens would too if we had them go to bed earlier.

 

[WDWtraveler27]

When I was 14 I just had to be in bed by 10 PM i believe. I did not necesarily had to go to sleep at that time.