Bathroom Situation

[Malcon10t]

I've been there when there have been missing children. CMs are alerted and watch the exits. One time they even had the funnel by LaBrea bakery with several CMs standing just feet apart looking at each child as they went by. Made for a massive slow down, but people understood. (This happened right after fireworks...)

 

[agamble]

I've been there when there have been missing children. CMs are alerted and watch the exits. One time they even had the funnel by LaBrea bakery with several CMs standing just feet apart looking at each child as they went by. Made for a massive slow down, but people understood. (This happened right after fireworks...)

I'm sure they are generally good about looking for lost kids, but we had an experience that still leaves me shaking my head. Our son was two and DH and DD had just gotten off of Splash Mountain. We were all standing together and I suggested we go to Winnie the Pooh. We turned around and our son had wandered off. My DH went to look for him and I immediately went to the CM standing outside Splash Mountain. I had just finished explaining to him that my son was missing when another CM approached him and told him they had a missing boy and asked if anyone had reported a missing child. The Splash Mountain CM said no one had. I turned to the other CM and told him my son was missing. It turned out he had run over to ride Winnie the Pooh and a kind grandma took him up to the CM and waited for them to find us. But the Splash CM was NOT helpful at all.

 

[Disnerd1968]

Thank you for listening to your brother's concerns. My kids are younger, but I find myself feeling more over protective when they are under someone else's care than I ever would be if I were there. I think your judgment is spot on. Further, he will probably want nothing to do with going to the bathroom in the women's restroom or even with you present in a companion room. Even my almost 5 years olds are starting to ask to go into restrooms on their own (though I think this is more trying to be independent vs embarassment). I agree that if you need to use a restroom at a rest stop that you aren't out of each other's view. What a great aunt taking your nephew to DL! How fun!

Thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate everyone's comments. I AM a cool aunt! LOL I did the same for my niece the year she turned 10. (The bathroom situation wasn't an issue there) We had a great time. I let her decide pretty much everything. I don't have children of my own and never will so I go all out. Resort hotel, gifts from "Mickey" in the room when we get there, Blue Bayou, etc. I just want to make happy memories for them.

 

[Disnerd1968]

Not just when there is a missing kid. If you even fit the profile of an abductor and are with a child, eyes are watching you. This guy that I use to work with was actually stopped and questioned while visiting DL with his daughter. At first he thought it was neat that Disney was so conscientious but when they tried to separate him from his child (to question the child) he got a bit upset. He filed a complaint and was given an apology regarding the over zealous security CM.

I would be a lot more careful in DTD though. I'm always paranoid on Harbor, but hadn't really thought about DTD as potentially being as unsafe. And then one evening I was chit chatting with a CM, I don't even remember how this came up, but the CM cautioned me on DTD not being as safe as the parks.

Interesting story about their security. My hairdresser told me a story about a friend of hers that was in DL with her family. The individuals were separated (shopping, getting a snack or something) and the husband collapsed. I think he had a heart attack. Any way, security went back through some security footage to see who he was there with and they identified the wife and found her to tell her about her husband. The story gave me chills, still does. So I've always felt really safe there. It's kind of big brotherish, but in that environment I don't mind.

 

[VandVsmama]

Odd question, but I thought, what the heck?

I'm a female going to Disneyland next month with my 9 1/2 year old nephew. My brother, the boy's dad, is very concerned about me leaving the little guy waiting outside the ladies room while I go to the restroom. He's not scared that little man will wander off. He's scared that someone will snatch him. This is only while we are in the park. When we drive down from northern California the boy is just going to have to come with me into the ladies room when we are at roadside stops. That is where I'm concerned people will snatch kids. But inside the Disneyland parks I feel it's safe. But I'm not a parent, so I thought I'd reach out to those of you who are parents to get your opinions on how to handle this situation.

I know I will be seeking out companion restrooms where I can, so that option is on my radar. Any suggestions are welcome

Thank you.

My thoughts in no particular order:

1. I understand where your brother is coming from. Look at it from this point of view - your brother is entrusting you with watching over his #1 most valuable & precious gem in the whole entire world.
2. Ask your brother about what sort of safety protocols/guidelines he has for Nephew at home. For example, if Nephew gets separated from your brother when they're at the mall, grocery store, or whatever, what are Nephew's instructions in terms of what Nephew should do?
3. Since the #1 concern is that Nephew might get kidnapped, here are a couple of things for you & your brother to consider: (a) have Nephew come up with a 'safe word,' (b) teach Nephew how to spot a Cast Member & have Nephew practice how to go up to a Cast Member to ask for help, and (c) have Nephew do some role-playing where another trusted adult pretends to be the kidnapper & Nephew gets to kick & scream and shout out stuff like "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY! YOU'RE NOT MY AUNT! HELP! LET ME GO!"
4. Take a picture of Nephew every morning before you enter the parks.
5. Make sure that Nephew has something on his person that has your phone # on it.
6. Re: the "safe word" - the purpose of this is to thwart off a kidnapper's attempts to manipulate the child into wandering off with the kidnapper. For example, Creeper Person says to Nephew, "Come over here with me to ___ ride, your mom/aunt said it was ok." Nephew says, "What's the password?" Creeper Person doesn't know the password. Then Nephew shouts out "YOU'RE NOT MY FAMILY! LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP TELLING ME TO GO WITH YOU! HELP!"
7. If your brother hasn't done this already with Nephew, also teach Nephew how to figure out WHO to run to for help if you are in trouble. If you can't find a Cast Member, find a mom. How can you tell the person is a mom? Because she has breasts and has children with her. Or find somebody pushing a stroller.
8. Ask any Cast Member where the companion bathrooms are on the park map. Circle them on your map. Then plan on using the companion bathrooms. But use the above techniques for times if you or Nephew has a bathroom emergency and you can't make it to a companion bathroom. And if you have to use a reg. bathroom, pick a designated spot just outside the mens' or ladies' room where you or Nephew will wait for each other.

 

[Disnerd1968]

I wouldn't take a 9-year-old into the women's restroom, even at a rest stop. My son would have been so embarrassed and thought that it meant that I was treating him like a baby. Statistically, you're probably more likely to get kidnapped than he is...and the odds of either are very, very low. But, if rest stops make you uncomfortable, I agree with stopping at an McDonald's or somewhere similar. Your brother is being overprotective, but at least he's letting his son go to DL with you. What a cool experience for both of you.

I think he's being a bit overprotective too. But I'm trying to be sensitive to his feelings as you can see. It is going to be a great experience. I'm so looking forward too it. Probably as much as he is. I did the same for his sister the year she turned 10. DLR hotel, gifts from Mickey in the room, the whole enchilada. LOL Even a side trip to Medieval Times. I don't have children of my own so I kind of spoil these two.

 

[Disnerd1968]

My thoughts in no particular order:

1. I understand where your brother is coming from. Look at it from this point of view - your brother is entrusting you with watching over his #1 most valuable & precious gem in the whole entire world.
2. Ask your brother about what sort of safety protocols/guidelines he has for Nephew at home. For example, if Nephew gets separated from your brother when they're at the mall, grocery store, or whatever, what are Nephew's instructions in terms of what Nephew should do?
3. Since the #1 concern is that Nephew might get kidnapped, here are a couple of things for you & your brother to consider: (a) have Nephew come up with a 'safe word,' (b) teach Nephew how to spot a Cast Member & have Nephew practice how to go up to a Cast Member to ask for help, and (c) have Nephew do some role-playing where another trusted adult pretends to be the kidnapper & Nephew gets to kick & scream and shout out stuff like "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY! YOU'RE NOT MY AUNT! HELP! LET ME GO!"
4. Take a picture of Nephew every morning before you enter the parks.
5. Make sure that Nephew has something on his person that has your phone # on it.
6. Re: the "safe word" - the purpose of this is to thwart off a kidnapper's attempts to manipulate the child into wandering off with the kidnapper. For example, Creeper Person says to Nephew, "Come over here with me to ___ ride, your mom/aunt said it was ok." Nephew says, "What's the password?" Creeper Person doesn't know the password. Then Nephew shouts out "YOU'RE NOT MY FAMILY! LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP TELLING ME TO GO WITH YOU! HELP!"
7. If your brother hasn't done this already with Nephew, also teach Nephew how to figure out WHO to run to for help if you are in trouble. If you can't find a Cast Member, find a mom. How can you tell the person is a mom? Because she has breasts and has children with her. Or find somebody pushing a stroller.
8. Ask any Cast Member where the companion bathrooms are on the park map. Circle them on your map. Then plan on using the companion bathrooms. But use the above techniques for times if you or Nephew has a bathroom emergency and you can't make it to a companion bathroom. And if you have to use a reg. bathroom, pick a designated spot just outside the mens' or ladies' room where you or Nephew will wait for each other.

All great suggestions! I will use these for sure. Thank you so much for the feedback. What a great community this is!

 

[Belle83]

Could your nephew use one of those small dot gps tracker things while you are at the parks? Not just for the bathroom situation, but the whole trip? Then if something happens (he wanders off, someone kidnaps him..) you have GPS.

I get his dad's concerns but I do think he's being a little overprotective.

 

[Disnerd1968]

Could your nephew use one of those small dot gps tracker things while you are at the parks? Not just for the bathroom situation, but the whole trip? Then if something happens (he wanders off, someone kidnaps him..) you have GPS.

I get his dad's concerns but I do think he's being a little overprotective.

That's an option. I am going to give him a temporary phone, perhaps I can put something on that. Thanks!

 

[BriannaRuth]

Finally -- when your nephew does go to the men's room on his on, be sure that everyone knows where the EXIT is. Sometimes the restroom exits are not in the same location as the entrances. So if you're waiting for him where he went in, he won't come back out that way. If I remember correctly, the restroom near the Mexican restaurant is notorious for this because it's around a corner.

 

[Malcon10t]

That's an option. I am going to give him a temporary phone, perhaps I can put something on that. Thanks!

We use a spare iPhone with Find Friends on it for the teens in our group.

 

[Jedi Mouse]

There are few public places on earth I would worry less about my 8 and 10 year old kids being abducted than Disneyland.

Criminals choose easy targets and getting a kid out of Disney would be extremely difficult.

 

[Westcoastwild]

I guess I'm kind of curious- does he go everywhere with his son at home? My mother took us grocery shopping and school shopping and to extracurricular stuff...so unless he is the primary caretaker I would assume that kid isn't supervised in other public bathrooms.

I just can't see taking a nine year old into the the opposite gendered restroom barring severe disability at least

 

[Disnerd1968]

I guess I'm kind of curious- does he go everywhere with his son at home? My mother took us grocery shopping and school shopping and to extracurricular stuff...so unless he is the primary caretaker I would assume that kid isn't supervised in other public bathrooms.

I just can't see taking a nine year old into the the opposite gendered restroom barring severe disability at least

I think it's like someone said earlier, he's being overprotective because he isn't there. They usually travel as a family, so someone is always with him (except at school of course). I really don't know what his mom does when just the boy and his mom are out in public like that. She didn't seem as concerned as my brother. I won't take him into the ladies room while at the parks. I feel super safe there. If we stop at a McDonalds on the way there, for example, he might just have to suck it up if I get a creepy feeling about the area or something like that. Recently he and I went to Disney on ice and the arena we went to had a companion restroom. He was OK with that. I turn my back to give him privacy and he did the same for me. We're family I don't think we'll be stopping too many times on the road but someone mentioned starbucks are usually single restrooms. I'm a starbucks junkie so we can take our potty breaks there on the way. I appreciate your's and everyone's feedback. After talking to my Bro I was questioning my judgement and you all have made me realize my judgement is still ok.

 

[Purrkins]

My thoughts in no particular order:

1. Take a picture of Nephew every morning before you enter the parks.

Take a picture of his shoes.

Tops can be changed, or covered up quickly with a jacket or sweatshirt. Shoes cannot and are always almost visible.

 

[bumbershoot]

Can we all try to remember that this child is nearly 10? Some suggestions are great for 4 year olds but really, by nearing 10, they are a bit much IMO.

My DH went to look for him and I immediately went to the CM standing outside Splash Mountain. I had just finished explaining to him that my son was missing when another CM approached him and told him they had a missing boy and asked if anyone had reported a missing child. The Splash Mountain CM said no one had.

That's just bizarre. Did you stay and figure out that funky communication there? Stop by City Hall to leave an anti-kudos for that CM?

teach Nephew how to spot a Cast Member & have Nephew practice how to go up to a Cast Member to ask for help

Always a great idea especially if the kid hasn't been to Disney before. "Uniformed Cast Member with a nametag behind a register" is a tried and true method.

Take a picture of Nephew every morning before you enter the parks.

It's a good idea. We don't do that anymore since my son was around 9, but especially since the aunt isn't buying the clothes and might not be as familiar with what he has on, good idea.

I really don't know what his mom does when just the boy and his mom are out in public like that. She didn't seem as concerned as my brother.

It might be a terrific idea to talk with your sister in law about what SHE does when she is out and about with him.

If we stop at a McDonalds on the way there, for example, he might just have to suck it up if I get a creepy feeling about the area or something like that.

Meaning he'll have to hold it until you find another bathroom, right?

With a non-single bathroom he can always go in, see if it's empty. If empty, head on in while you wait outside (this isn't the time for being efficient). That way you see the people who might go in after.

 

[BarbieGal457]

I am the aunt of 9-in-July twin nephews without children of my own and from what you write, I definitely can relate to you. While I haven't been to Disney with them yet, I have taken them to the movies starting at age 7. If my boyfriend is with us, he will take them to the men's room and wait in there while they use the stalls. However, if he is not there, I will wait outside the men's room and call in to them if I feel they are taking longer than normal. My sister and BIL aren't as overprotective as yours it seems, but I totally get where your brother is coming from. I love the idea of going over where the exits are - heck, I have lost my adult boyfriend after leaving a WDW bathroom exit!, and I am also fond of the idea of taking a new phone of your nephew each day just to be safe - I have a pretty great memory but if I lost one of them I'm not sure I could recall the outfit correctly. I have never considered a photo of shoes before but that makes absolute sense! The twins HAVE gone with my BIL's family and sister and BIL all together before and I know they've been trained to approach a CM when in need.

I also agree on using a restaurant/coffee shop as a restroom - besides a lot of Starbucks having single-person bathrooms, I bet they're cleaner too!! (I have a chronic illness that affects my digestive tract, so I am...experienced in the bathroom world haha!) Have you looked into Tile as well? It is a GPS tracker and I know a lot of people use it for their keys but maybe if he brings a backpack or has belt loops you can attach it there, which then allows you to see his location from your phone. A one-pack of Tile is $25, and maybe after the trip you can pass it off to your brother. Also, not to scare anyone but I believe stats show a child is more likely to be abducted by someone known to them than a stranger, and like others have said I think Disneyland would be an extremely difficult target to kidnap a person of any age from! I totally get your brother's worries but I also understand your point of view.

I think you two will have a great time and the concern you show in respecting your brother's wishes and possibly nervousness, I am sure it will go smoothly!

As one Cool Aunt to another, have a great time!!

 

[Disnerd1968]

I am the aunt of 9-in-July twin nephews without children of my own and from what you write, I definitely can relate to you. While I haven't been to Disney with them yet, I have taken them to the movies starting at age 7. If my boyfriend is with us, he will take them to the men's room and wait in there while they use the stalls. However, if he is not there, I will wait outside the men's room and call in to them if I feel they are taking longer than normal. My sister and BIL aren't as overprotective as yours it seems, but I totally get where your brother is coming from. I love the idea of going over where the exits are - heck, I have lost my adult boyfriend after leaving a WDW bathroom exit!, and I am also fond of the idea of taking a new phone of your nephew each day just to be safe - I have a pretty great memory but if I lost one of them I'm not sure I could recall the outfit correctly. I have never considered a photo of shoes before but that makes absolute sense! The twins HAVE gone with my BIL's family and sister and BIL all together before and I know they've been trained to approach a CM when in need.

I also agree on using a restaurant/coffee shop as a restroom - besides a lot of Starbucks having single-person bathrooms, I bet they're cleaner too!! (I have a chronic illness that affects my digestive tract, so I am...experienced in the bathroom world haha!) Have you looked into Tile as well? It is a GPS tracker and I know a lot of people use it for their keys but maybe if he brings a backpack or has belt loops you can attach it there, which then allows you to see his location from your phone. A one-pack of Tile is $25, and maybe after the trip you can pass it off to your brother. Also, not to scare anyone but I believe stats show a child is more likely to be abducted by someone known to them than a stranger, and like others have said I think Disneyland would be an extremely difficult target to kidnap a person of any age from! I totally get your brother's worries but I also understand your point of view.

I think you two will have a great time and the concern you show in respecting your brother's wishes and possibly nervousness, I am sure it will go smoothly!

As one Cool Aunt to another, have a great time!!

Thank you so much for all your feedback! Seems like you can totally relate. I'm sure it will go smoothly too. I'll def be taking the picture of him each morning before we leave the hotel. 47 days and counting! Thanks fellow Cool Autie!

 

[Disnerd1968]

Can we all try to remember that this child is nearly 10? Some suggestions are great for 4 year olds but really, by nearing 10, they are a bit much IMO.



That's just bizarre. Did you stay and figure out that funky communication there? Stop by City Hall to leave an anti-kudos for that CM?



Always a great idea especially if the kid hasn't been to Disney before. "Uniformed Cast Member with a nametag behind a register" is a tried and true method.



It's a good idea. We don't do that anymore since my son was around 9, but especially since the aunt isn't buying the clothes and might not be as familiar with what he has on, good idea.




It might be a terrific idea to talk with your sister in law about what SHE does when she is out and about with him.



Meaning he'll have to hold it until you find another bathroom, right?

With a non-single bathroom he can always go in, see if it's empty. If empty, head on in while you wait outside (this isn't the time for being efficient). That way you see the people who might go in after.

When I said "suck it up" I meant he might have to use the ladies room if the situation calls for it. But I'm going to avoid it at all costs except at the cost of his safety. Thanks for all your feedback. I really appreciate it

 

[kkmcan]

We went on a all girls trip plus my 9 year old son a few years back and I took him into the ladies room with me at a gas station. Lot of people stop at this station to fuel up and use the bathroom on their road trips. Too many people coming and going so even though he didn't want to, he came in with me. Now at DL, he was fine waiting for me outside the ladies room. I wasn't going to go as far as embarrassing him there. I knew no one was going to come along and grab him and make it all the way to the gates without someone noticing him yell and kick and scream. Both my kids know that if anyone took them they need to scream "I don't know this person" or "this isn't my dad" or something that would get people's attention. Your nephew would be fine waiting outside at DL. I would say maybe use the restrooms at a restaurant rather than rest stop. Rest stops make me really nervous as well as gas stations.