Bathroom Situation

[Disnerd1968]

Odd question, but I thought, what the heck?

I'm a female going to Disneyland next month with my 9 1/2 year old nephew. My brother, the boy's dad, is very concerned about me leaving the little guy waiting outside the ladies room while I go to the restroom. He's not scared that little man will wander off. He's scared that someone will snatch him. This is only while we are in the park. When we drive down from northern California the boy is just going to have to come with me into the ladies room when we are at roadside stops. That is where I'm concerned people will snatch kids. But inside the Disneyland parks I feel it's safe. But I'm not a parent, so I thought I'd reach out to those of you who are parents to get your opinions on how to handle this situation.

I know I will be seeking out companion restrooms where I can, so that option is on my radar. Any suggestions are welcome

Thank you.

 

[mom2rtk]

If you can't trust him not to wander off outside the door, I wouldn't trust him in the ladies room unattended while you are in the stall.

I would leave a 9 1/2 year old outside a bathroom door in DL park for a short time. That's very different from some random convenience store or rest stop along the highway. Inside the park, it's not like they have a car parked close by for a quick getaway.

 

[DLgal]

Your brother is being irrational. There has NEVER been a kidnapping inside a Disney theme park. First of all, there is security (obvious and undercover) and cameras EVERYWHERE. When a kid is reported missing, you can bet everyone in security is looking out for that kid. The park exits are watched VERY closely when there is a missing kid. You have to go through a turnstile to exit. No one is leaving Disneyland with a kidnapped kid.

My kids have been waiting outside the ladies room for me for a few years now. They are 12 and 11 AND they both have autism. There will be plenty of other kids and families waiting for loved ones outside the bathrooms. No one is going to be able to get away with just taking a kid. If you want, work out a compromise...tell your brother that you will have your nephew wait JUST INSIDE the ladies room, near the door. There is usually a little nook or something where he won't be in anyone's way. I do that with my boys when we are at places like airports, malls, etc...places that I don't trust as well as Disney.

 

[3DisMunchkins]

I understand his concerns...as a parent it's very hard when you're not there to keep them safe. And as much as he may trust you, parents worry! That being said, I have a 9 year old and he is allowed to wait just outside the restrooms for me and his sisters. The only stranger I ever found him speaking to was Peter Pan. We came out to find them sitting on the bench all alone chatting (well at least Peter Pan was). My son was so in shock, he wouldn't say a word!
As long as he knows not to wander it shouldn't be a problem. I also make sure he knows where to go if he goes in the mens room and comes out first.
Have a great trip!

 

[alvernon90]

If your brother is consistent in his fears about his child being abducted by a stranger, he must face facts: an unattended child is just as likely to be kidnapped inside a Disneyland restroom as outside of it, so for the sake of safety your nephew should be in the stall with you while you do your business.

If your brother thinks that is going too far because the risk of abduction is so low, then it is also going too far to make a boy who is almost 10 years old go inside the women's restroom and wait around in awkward silence.

 

[Disnerd1968]

If you can't trust him not to wander off outside the door, I wouldn't trust him in the ladies room unattended while you are in the stall.

I would leave a 9 1/2 year old outside a bathroom door in DL park for a short time. That's very different from some random convenience store or rest stop along the highway. Inside the park, it's not like they have a car parked close by for a quick getaway.

I agree with you. In the park seems pretty safe to me. I CAN trust him to stay put. Thank you for your feedback.

 

[Disnerd1968]

Your brother is being irrational. There has NEVER been a kidnapping inside a Disney theme park. First of all, there is security (obvious and undercover) and cameras EVERYWHERE. When a kid is reported missing, you can bet everyone in security is looking out for that kid. The park exits are watched VERY closely when there is a missing kid. You have to go through a turnstile to exit. No one is leaving Disneyland with a kidnapped kid.

My kids have been waiting outside the ladies room for me for a few years now. They are 12 and 11 AND they both have autism. There will be plenty of other kids and families waiting for loved ones outside the bathrooms. No one is going to be able to get away with just taking a kid. If you want, work out a compromise...tell your brother that you will have your nephew wait JUST INSIDE the ladies room, near the door. There is usually a little nook or something where he won't be in anyone's way. I do that with my boys when we are at places like airports, malls, etc...places that I don't trust as well as Disney.

Thank you so much for your feedback. You stated just what I was feeling. I have never heard of a kidnapping in a Disney Park. You made me feel better about my own judgement. Thanks again!

 

[Disnerd1968]

I understand his concerns...as a parent it's very hard when you're not there to keep them safe. And as much as he may trust you, parents worry! That being said, I have a 9 year old and he is allowed to wait just outside the restrooms for me and his sisters. The only stranger I ever found him speaking to was Peter Pan. We came out to find them sitting on the bench all alone chatting (well at least Peter Pan was). My son was so in shock, he wouldn't say a word!
As long as he knows not to wander it shouldn't be a problem. I also make sure he knows where to go if he goes in the mens room and comes out first.
Have a great trip!

I love the Peter Pan story! So cute. I understand his concern as well. I usually trust my own judgement, but since I'm not a parent myself I thought maybe I was being too casual about it. Thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate it.

 

[Disnerd1968]

If your brother is consistent in his fears about his child being abducted by a stranger, he must face facts: an unattended child is just as likely to be kidnapped inside a Disneyland restroom as outside of it, so for the sake of safety your nephew should be in the stall with you while you do your business.

If your brother thinks that is going too far because the risk of abduction is so low, then it is also going too far to make a boy who is almost 10 years old go inside the women's restroom and wait around in awkward silence.

I thought the same thing, inside the restroom or out, it's the same risk (if any). I certainly won't be taking him in the ladies room. That's too humiliating for him. Though, at a roadside stop he's just going to have to deal with it. BUT, in the park, why add humiliation unnecessarily. Thank you for your feedback. All of you are very helpful in confirming that my judgement is spot on.

Thanks!

 

[biochemgirl]

I travel as a single mom with DS and we've been going to DLR yearly since he was 5 (now 11). At first, I brought him into the ladies with me and he used a stall there. By age 8, that just didn't work. He was way to embarrassed. He began using the men's and we always have a plan for where to meet. And sometimes, I'm the only one that has to go, and again, we know where we will meet.

 

[Disnerd1968]

I travel as a single mom with DS and we've been going to DLR yearly since he was 5 (now 11). At first, I brought him into the ladies with me and he used a stall there. By age 8, that just didn't work. He was way to embarrassed. He began using the men's and we always have a plan for where to meet. And sometimes, I'm the only one that has to go, and again, we know where we will meet.

Thank you for your feedback. I think it's possible my brother is being a little overprotective, just a little Thanks again!

 

[Mousequake]

I thought the same thing, inside the restroom or out, it's the same risk (if any). I certainly won't be taking him in the ladies room. That's too humiliating for him. Though, at a roadside stop he's just going to have to deal with it. BUT, in the park, why add humiliation unnecessarily. Thank you for your feedback. All of you are very helpful in confirming that my judgement is spot on.

THANK YOU for treating him like an individual and not forcing him to go into the restroom with you. I'm amazed when I see people on here talking about taking a kid of the opposite sex into a restroom at nine, ten, and even older. Those kids are probably mortified.

I travel as a single mom with DS and we've been going to DLR yearly since he was 5 (now 11). At first, I brought him into the ladies with me and he used a stall there. By age 8, that just didn't work. He was way to embarrassed. He began using the men's and we always have a plan for where to meet. And sometimes, I'm the only one that has to go, and again, we know where we will meet.

Reverse the genders, and this is me and my daughter. We've been traveling to DLR by ourselves since she was 5, and now she's 9. On the first couple of trips, she accompanied me into the men's restroom, but around age 7 I became perfectly comfortable with her using the women's on her own, or waiting for me outside the men's if I had to go. It's just what you have to do when you're a single parent traveling with a kid.

 

[bumbershoot]

As for the drive down, don't go to rest stops. Go to restaurants. Stop at Starbucks, Dennys, etc. That way it's a bit more controlled than at a rest area.

 

[ashley0139]

As for the drive down, don't go to rest stops. Go to restaurants. Stop at Starbucks, Dennys, etc. That way it's a bit more controlled than at a rest area.

Yes, and Starbucks almost always has single stalls so it's perfect.

 

[AZMermaid]

My 6.5 year old hasn't been in the women's restroom in probably a year- at least since starting kindergarten in the fall. That said... I probably would bring him with me at a rest stop. But other than that, he's fine to go on his own or wait outside for me. I'll admit... when he takes "too long" I do get a bit worried... but he's gotta learn. I started at age 4 in controlled situations. Now he never even thinks twice, men's room he goes.

 

[Elima2015]

Thank you for listening to your brother's concerns. My kids are younger, but I find myself feeling more over protective when they are under someone else's care than I ever would be if I were there. I think your judgment is spot on. Further, he will probably want nothing to do with going to the bathroom in the women's restroom or even with you present in a companion room. Even my almost 5 years olds are starting to ask to go into restrooms on their own (though I think this is more trying to be independent vs embarassment). I agree that if you need to use a restroom at a rest stop that you aren't out of each other's view. What a great aunt taking your nephew to DL! How fun!

 

[KatieCharlotte]

I wouldn't take a 9-year-old into the women's restroom, even at a rest stop. My son would have been so embarrassed and thought that it meant that I was treating him like a baby. Statistically, you're probably more likely to get kidnapped than he is...and the odds of either are very, very low. But, if rest stops make you uncomfortable, I agree with stopping at an McDonald's or somewhere similar. Your brother is being overprotective, but at least he's letting his son go to DL with you. What a cool experience for both of you.

 

[ddwlms]

There has NEVER been a kidnapping inside a Disney theme park. First of all, there is security (obvious and undercover) and cameras EVERYWHERE. When a kid is reported missing, you can bet everyone in security is looking out for that kid. The park exits are watched VERY closely when there is a missing kid. You have to go through a turnstile to exit. No one is leaving Disneyland with a kidnapped kid.

Not just when there is a missing kid. If you even fit the profile of an abductor and are with a child, eyes are watching you. This guy that I use to work with was actually stopped and questioned while visiting DL with his daughter. At first he thought it was neat that Disney was so conscientious but when they tried to separate him from his child (to question the child) he got a bit upset. He filed a complaint and was given an apology regarding the over zealous security CM.

I would be a lot more careful in DTD though. I'm always paranoid on Harbor, but hadn't really thought about DTD as potentially being as unsafe. And then one evening I was chit chatting with a CM, I don't even remember how this came up, but the CM cautioned me on DTD not being as safe as the parks.

 

[Winnowill]

I would be a lot more careful in DTD though. I'm always paranoid on Harbor, but hadn't really thought about DTD as potentially being as unsafe. And then one evening I was chit chatting with a CM, I don't even remember how this came up, but the CM cautioned me on DTD not being as safe as the parks.

How long ago was this? Now that DTD is within the security bubble, I'd think it was every bit as safe, even though there aren't turnstiles to get out.

 

[ddwlms]

How long ago was this? Now that DTD is within the security bubble, I'd think it was every bit as safe, even though there aren't turnstiles to get out.

It was definitely before they moved security, so there is that.