Bathroom Question

[LilyWDW]

He is a super responsible kid. I trust him to babysit his brothers for a couple of hours--and that includes a 2 year old and an autistic 6 year old. I guess it's just that I used to work in an industry that watched police blotters and know (even beyond what hits the media), that boys are primarily assalted between 9-13 years of age, when by strangers. Many times attacked/kidnapped in crowded areas.

I generally don't helicopter, but I'm also not in that big of a public place that is that crowded alone. Just a little nervous. I'm sure it will all be fine.

I do like the idea of sending him in to the restroom at the same time regardless, so there is less open area time.

I grew up in a family of cops and was smothered for YEARS because of the things they saw. It has effected me even to this day. My social skills and my independence are still a bit weak and I will swear to you that it was because of how I was treated when I was younger. So please, from someone who totally gets it, don't do that to your son. Let him go to the bathroom alone or let him wait for you outside the restrooms when you have to go. Give him a bit of freedom and allow him your trust.

 

[rt2dz]

I also just came across this article randomly, so never say never, right? Maybe OP's fears are not entirely unfounded...

"Police searching for man who grabbed 12-year-old boy in south city McDonald's bathroom"
http://fostercity.patch.com/article...-mcdonalds-bathroom?ncid=txtlnkuspatc00000003

This does happen quite a bit more than most people realize. Remember, I had a job where I actually had access to these things beyond what the media reported. The media actually reports very little of this stuff.

And guess what else? People DO ignore kids yelling. Frequently. They don't want to get involved. Or they believe the kid is fighting with his/her parents. Or they think the kid is special needs. If people even notice. When it is crowded, and loud, and people are in their own little bubble, people don't even notices.

And even responsible, smart kids do bone-headed things. Have you ever met an 11 year old boy? Their hormones are up and down and sometimes their brain cells get turned off. We work concessions at the high school football games for fundraising (three high schools share the stadium) and the things you see kids do... Yikes! My thoughts are always, "if your parents only had the slightest clue, you wouldn't be allowed here again." MANY of us feel this way. And I do personally know some of those kids and their parents, their parents have no clue and would be mighty upset if they knew what their kids were doing behind their backs.

Yes, his feet are bigger than mine. Yes, his voice is deepening (on and off). No, he is not quite 5' yet though. If he were man-sized, I probably wouldn't bat an eye.

Yes, as a kid my sisters and I wondered WDW by yourselves (9, 12, 14--I was the 9 year old), but not only are girls more mature than boys, there wasn't as much there and ways to get around. Yes, last November I did let him and his brother (then 10 & 7) go on rides alone so I could sit out with the sleeping baby and DH could take DS6 on something more to his liking. But I felt he was somewhat supervised--not out in the open.

I'm not refusing to let him grow up. Most people who know me would say I'm very relaxed. Heck, when he's 14, I'll be dropping him off in the woods with a couple days supply of water, a fire starter, and a compass (he's a Boy Scout). I just like the idea of some semblance of supervision from somewhere while he is still little, and 11 is still little--that is why BSA says boys must be 14 before they can participate in certain activities. Especially knowing how long the lines can get in the restrooms.

He have an iphone for when the kids go someplace without us in case of emergency (it's a "family" phone) and he will certainly have it with him in the parks in case we do get separated or something happens to me. No, I will not be on it with him in the bathroom (although it's a good ease your nerves suggestion).

What I will do is send him to the restroom when I need to go and then meet him in the nearest gift shop. I don't trust other guests, but I do trust CMs to pay attention. I'll send him a text when I'm coming out and he can meet me by the register. It gives me the feeling of confinement for safety and him the freedom to grow up--which should, imo, happen little by little.

 

[noahdove]

I have had to leave a child outside of the bathroom and I was fine and so were they. However, IF you still have concerns, go to the family bathroom and if there is only one toilet, have him turn around..Good luck with whatever you decide..yes, this is a big scary world we live in, but, like I said I left children outside while I went in..

 

[kohlby]

I agree to designating a spot outside the bathroom where he is to sit. I'm a stay-at-home homeschooling mum with an itty bitty bladder so my oldest often has to stand outside the restroom in public. At a place like Disney, my hubby is usually around. But if he's not, I just find a spot for him to go. I show him where the nearest CM's are as well. (Or store worker if we're not at Disney). He's only 8 years old and he can handle it quiet well. (However, using a bathroom with two different entrances is still an issue with him. His sense of direction is not good - hence sitting on a bench or some rocks). I do prefer spots where there are more people. In isolated spots, it's more likely something could happen and nothing would be seen. I'm sure my oldest would yell and get attention even at just 8. (Though not all kids are the same. My middle child would freeze and not say a word. She's only 6 but I don't think she would be able to handle it at 8 due to the freeze-panic instead of being a child of action like my oldest).

I would certainly be comfortable having any child over the age of 5 or so wait outside the ladies room for me (maybe not at a empty truck stop...).

At 5, my kids were way too trusting. If someone came up to them and told them that their parents said to go with them, they would have gone - despite me trying to train them not to go. My middle child is a people-pleaser and a panic-freezer which would not make her handle a situation well at 6, and likely not in a few years. Hopefully, she'll have it by 11, but luckily, she's a girl so she can go with me. She's also too shy to ask for help. For my oldest, he really wasn't ready until 7. He would have wandered off to go look at something before then. And would have been a little too trusting of people.

 

[duffy]

So, you let him go in the men's bathroom alone, and aren't worried that he could be molested there, I guess.

But, waiting outside the bathroom alone is a worry??

I would think that he'd be more at risk in the bathroom than out in the open. What's the logic, of sending him off into a room with other men, but feeling uneasy about a "super responsible" 11-year old being alone outside the women's room?

 

[rt2dz]

So, you let him go in the men's bathroom alone, and aren't worried that he could be molested there, I guess.

But, waiting outside the bathroom alone is a worry??

I would think that he'd be more at risk in the bathroom than out in the open. What's the logic, of sending him off into a room with other men, but feeling uneasy about a "super responsible" 11-year old being alone outside the women's room?

Nope. Not worried about him being molested in the men's room. It's going to be crowded and enclosed so yelling can't be ignored. Plus, unless I'm in the restroom, I'll be nearby the doors. If it's taking awhile, I'll know something is wrong. It's not unusual for me to only go to the restroom while at the parks once or twice during a day.

Besides, it's not really molestation I'm worried about. It's him being "taken," aka lured away. Like I said, I used to work where I had access to what really happens, not just what is reported. And I knew the real skinny. Boys ages 9 - 13 are the most likely to be kidnapped and "kept." You can use your own imagination there on what that entails. Parents tend to think they can handle certain situations even though mentally and emotionally they are not ready and kids that age, mainly boys, tend to think they, too, are invincible. It's also an age when they are most desirable to horrible people.

I know that there is a 99% chance that we'll never encounter a questionable person in our all our lives. The problem is, someone does encounter that other 1% at some time. We live in an upscale area and there has still been 3 incidents over the past 4-6 weeks. No one is immune. Only a fool thinks that. Chances are we'll never be in a life-threatening car accident, but I'm not going to tell my kids they don't have to buckle up.

I was simply looking for some minor safety precautions. Not hindering my child. There is no way at his age I'd take him into the bathroom with me. The ideas presented to me to have him go at the same time (he has a smaller bladder) and having him go to the gift shop will probably solve any concerns I have.

 

[marmalade]

Nope. Not worried about him being molested in the men's room. It's going to be crowded and enclosed so yelling can't be ignored. Plus, unless I'm in the restroom, I'll be nearby the doors. If it's taking awhile, I'll know something is wrong. It's not unusual for me to only go to the restroom while at the parks once or twice during a day.

Besides, it's not really molestation I'm worried about. It's him being "taken," aka lured away. Like I said, I used to work where I had access to what really happens, not just what is reported. And I knew the real skinny. Boys ages 9 - 13 are the most likely to be kidnapped and "kept." You can use your own imagination there on what that entails. Parents tend to think they can handle certain situations even though mentally and emotionally they are not ready and kids that age, mainly boys, tend to think they, too, are invincible. It's also an age when they are most desirable to horrible people.

I know that there is a 99% chance that we'll never encounter a questionable person in our all our lives. The problem is, someone does encounter that other 1% at some time. We live in an upscale area and there has still been 3 incidents over the past 4-6 weeks. No one is immune. Only a fool thinks that. Chances are we'll never be in a life-threatening car accident, but I'm not going to tell my kids they don't have to buckle up.

I was simply looking for some minor safety precautions. Not hindering my child. There is no way at his age I'd take him into the bathroom with me. The ideas presented to me to have him go at the same time (he has a smaller bladder) and having him go to the gift shop will probably solve any concerns I have.

An 11yr old is definitely old enough to hang out outside while you are using the restroom. Unfortunately you have been exposed to reading some horrific events that are probably burned into your thoughts for the rest of eternity that are making you more nervous about leaving him alone. But you have to have faith in your DS and what you have taught him about strangers.

The gift shop is a great idea and I see that you are considering it, however I don't think it is necessary with an 11yr old. But I am not you, so you need to do what you feel most comfortable with.

 

[Metsfan520]

I also just came across this article randomly, so never say never, right? Maybe OP's fears are not entirely unfounded...

"Police searching for man who grabbed 12-year-old boy in south city McDonald's bathroom"
http://fostercity.patch.com/article...-mcdonalds-bathroom?ncid=txtlnkuspatc00000003

That's comparing apples to oranges. A McDonalds in a city is way different from WDW.

 

[maxiesmom]

An 11yr old is definitely old enough to hang out outside while you are using the restroom. Unfortunately you have been exposed to reading some horrific events that are probably burned into your thoughts for the rest of eternity that are making you more nervous about leaving him alone. But you have to have faith in your DS and what you have taught him about strangers.

And doesn't Disney allow them to tour the parks alone by age 11?

Op--Keep in mind too that we are all on camera almost the whole time we are in the parks. I would feel safer letting a child sit alone outside a restroom at WDW than anywhere else.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

He's 11.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I also just came across this article randomly, so never say never, right? Maybe OP's fears are not entirely unfounded...

"Police searching for man who grabbed 12-year-old boy in south city McDonald's bathroom"
http://fostercity.patch.com/article...-mcdonalds-bathroom?ncid=txtlnkuspatc00000003

There has never been a reported incident where a child was assaulted in a bathroom on WDW property. In fact, the only time any child has been assaulted, as far as I am aware, has been in the wave pool at the water parks.

 

[marmalade]

And doesn't Disney allow them to tour the parks alone by age 11?

Op--Keep in mind too that we are all on camera almost the whole time we are in the parks. I would feel safer letting a child sit alone outside a restroom at WDW than anywhere else.

I would think so, especially since they consider them "adults" at the age of 10.

 

[Disneymooner07]

That's comparing apples to oranges. A McDonalds in a city is way different from WDW.

I can appreciate that - but maybe I'd say it's comparing Fuji apples to Granny Smith apples

I would also point out that, although WDW is a vacation destination and a magical place, it is still much more densely populated than most cities, including South San Francisco where the above incident occurred. Yes, there are CMs and lots of caring families around that decreases the likelihood of anything happening.

In any case, I don't think OP is being too overbearing in just sharing her concerns. OP, I think you're justified in feeling concerned and anxious just like most parents feel, and I support you working through those concerns however you need to. We as parents can only do what we're comfortable with and you know what that is for you and your DS. Everyone has their own timeline for letting their kids grow up and we're all just trying to do our best

 

[duffy]

Nope. Not worried about him being molested in the men's room. It's going to be crowded and enclosed so yelling can't be ignored. Plus, unless I'm in the restroom, I'll be nearby the doors. If it's taking awhile, I'll know something is wrong. It's not unusual for me to only go to the restroom while at the parks once or twice during a day.

Besides, it's not really molestation I'm worried about. It's him being "taken," aka lured away. Like I said, I used to work where I had access to what really happens, not just what is reported. And I knew the real skinny. Boys ages 9 - 13 are the most likely to be kidnapped and "kept." You can use your own imagination there on what that entails. Parents tend to think they can handle certain situations even though mentally and emotionally they are not ready and kids that age, mainly boys, tend to think they, too, are invincible. It's also an age when they are most desirable to horrible people.

I know that there is a 99% chance that we'll never encounter a questionable person in our all our lives. The problem is, someone does encounter that other 1% at some time. We live in an upscale area and there has still been 3 incidents over the past 4-6 weeks. No one is immune. Only a fool thinks that. Chances are we'll never be in a life-threatening car accident, but I'm not going to tell my kids they don't have to buckle up.

I was simply looking for some minor safety precautions. Not hindering my child. There is no way at his age I'd take him into the bathroom with me. The ideas presented to me to have him go at the same time (he has a smaller bladder) and having him go to the gift shop will probably solve any concerns I have.

I would say, "Hey, there's a bathroom. I'm going in, wait for me," and I'd go. Pretty simple.

 

[surfgirl]

I would point to a spot and say 'don't move'. Read him the riot act... 'you move, we leave. no questions.'

I realize you are concerned about him being 'lured' away. However, you have more chance of getting lost or one of you wandering if he is in 'the nearest gift shop'. I would be more worried about that.

- practice being fast. walk in - if there is a line, walk away and come back in a few minutes.
- wear clothes that are fast and easy to 'arrange'.
- skip washing hands and use hand sanitizer instead. saves a couple of minutes.

I'd bet if you follow those tips, you are talking about 3 min. max.

 

[lin85prest]

It is a worry leaving a child alone, but there is usually CM's about, I would ask if they could watch out for him while u were in the bathroom

 

[GoofyIsMyHomeboy]

I agree that a typical 11 year old should be just fine sitting on a bench and waiting. Have a refresher chat on staying put and not talking to strangers. I don't know how anyone would know if his mom/dad were near him or not, anyway.

If you're really freaked out though, I think the baby care centers and possibly the first aid centers have bathrooms and airconditioned places to sit and wait.

Or, put him in line for Space Mountain and join him when you're done.

 

[pumpkinmomma]

I agree that a typical 11 year old should be just fine sitting on a bench and waiting. Have a refresher chat on staying put and not talking to strangers. I don't know how anyone would know if his mom/dad were near him or not, anyway.

If you're really freaked out though, I think the baby care centers and possibly the first aid centers have bathrooms and airconditioned places to sit and wait.

Or, put him in line for Space Mountain and join him when you're done.

I'm sorry, but I don't think using the baby care centers or the first aid stations would be appropriate. The OP is neither caring for a baby nor seeking first aid.

He is 11. Tell him to wait on a bench and then go about your business. He is plenty old enough to wait outside while you use the restroom.

 

[Grog]

Duct tape him to a fence post. Use the whole roll. Maybe some zip ties too. Problem solved.