Band

[BandGeek911]

Nu-uhhhh.

Trumpets kick butt.

 

[Captain Brain]

Both of you are wrong, duh.

Saxophone has an amazing range, and it is shinier than the Clarinet and the trumpet!

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

Ever seen a metal clarinet?

I don't think so.

I played one once.

Long story.

 

[Captain Brain]

Ever seen a metal clarinet?

I don't think so.

I played one once.

Long story.

I play a very shiny Saxophone. Ever seen one? Long story.

 

[BandGeek911]

Both of you are wrong, duh.

Saxophone has an amazing range, and it is shinier than the Clarinet and the trumpet!

I love band jokes. They are hilarious. I think the trumpet ones are hilarious... they're true sometimes too...

How many trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could've done it.

How do trumpet players traditionally greet eachother?
"Hi.I'm better than you."

What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he told her he wanted to be a trumpet player when he grew up.
"But Johnny, you can't do both."

How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because the world revolves around them!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the trumpet players.

How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder on the high C's

Why does a trumpet have three valves?
Because trumpet players can't count to four.

They're so insulting... but it's hilarious...

Trumpets re the best instrument... hands down...

 

[SplshMtnLvr28]

thats cool! there is like 10 guys who all want to play quads...i'm pretty sure i already said i'd much rather play snare!! i am horrrrible at mallets! i'm even worse at timp! i can't tune themm! lol

Omg lol... it's like impossible for me to tune a timpani.

 

[AmoDolphin]

I play viola in the orchestra.

 

[Captain Brain]

I love band jokes. They are hilarious. I think the trumpet ones are hilarious... they're true sometimes too...

How many trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could've done it.

How do trumpet players traditionally greet eachother?
"Hi.I'm better than you."

What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he told her he wanted to be a trumpet player when he grew up.
"But Johnny, you can't do both."

How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because the world revolves around them!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the trumpet players.

How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder on the high C's

Why does a trumpet have three valves?
Because trumpet players can't count to four.

They're so insulting... but it's hilarious...

Trumpets re the best instrument... hands down...

I have one...

How many Saxophone players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, we have the trumpets do it.

How do Sax players greet each other? You. Dirty. Rotten. Cheater. We both know how you managed to get first chair.

 

[BandGeek911]

I have one...

How many Saxophone players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, we have the trumpets do it.

How do Sax players greet each other? You. Dirty. Rotten. Cheater. We both know how you managed to get first chair.

What are trumpets made out of?
Leftover saxaphone parts.

Ah. That's why trumpets are so shiney


Aw... you know I'm just joking with you Billy... I mean this as fun and not really as an insult.

Saxophones are can be very purdy sometimes too :]

 

[BandGeek911]

What is a gentleman?
Somebody who knows how to play the trumpet, but doesn't.

 

[Captain Brain]

What are trumpets made out of?
Leftover saxaphone parts.

Ah. That's why trumpets are so shiney


Aw... you know I'm just joking with you Billy... I mean this as fun and not really as an insult.

Saxophones are can be very purdy sometimes too :]

I wouldn't take it any other way, Mel. I know you too well, I guess.

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

Saxophones are gorgeous. I love the way they sound.

*Stops obsessing over saxophones.*

 

[KidGoofy]

At my shool we dont have band. And the only schools who have band have kids who cant make any sport. So the bands arent really talented around here. They just stand in the same spot the whole time and dont move at all. But I do like the bands who have drumlines and atleast move.

 

[BandGeek911]

I wouldn't take it any other way, Mel. I know you too well, I guess.

Ah good :]
I think band humor is funny.... I just don't want to insult anyone!
It's kind of hard on the internet you know... you can't see my facial expressions and I guess you could read my text the wrong way... you know what I mean?
Bad communication happens to me sometimes XD

Ah, I'm glad you know what I'm saying though!

A long list of signs of when you know you've been in band too long

instead of writing 'and' you write 'band'
you have inside jokes with every member of the marching band
your Napster library is filled with songs you've played
not just your drum line, but your whole band can crab step together
you walk in step with the people around you
you like wearing your uniform
you consider sheet music an acessory
you keep track of how long you practice
people worry when they see you without sonething band related
you start responding to 'band dork'
people start to see a resemblence between you and your band director
you tell people to dress the lunch line
your mouthpiece tastes good
you walk to class and think: "Am I walking in half or full steps?"
you hang out in the band room before, during, and after school
you eat lunch with other people from band
you don't try and hide the fact that you're in band
you daydream about sets for next year's show
you wear band shirts to school
your entire schedule revolves around band
you social life involves memorizing music
you skip other classes to be in band
instead of sneakers, you wear your marching shoes to school
you have a band-related nickname
you can think of an anticdote for everyone in marching band
you pay more attention to your instrument than your pets
you actually know how to fix your embouchure
you've made a band documentary
the best day of the year is Freshman Initiation
you've ever had anything shipped to the band room care of your band director
your section has a symbol
you practice with writing implements in public
you notice all the changes in other bands' shows
letters past G aren't important
you can only count in multiples of 4
you start to miss marching in the cold when band season is over
you start to refer to football season as either 'band season' or 'marching season'
you like changing clothes on a bus
you make mix tapes for your friends with this year's band songs
you can hum, play, and sing your parts
you think marching in the rain is fun
your band has its own cheers/songs
you search the internet on ways to march better
you go trick-or-treating in your uniform
you can play your whole show even after chugging a whole bottle of cough syrup
you could care less if someone beats you up, but they lay a finger on your instrument and you're ready to kick some ***
you've learned to whittle your own reeds
you've asked someone to marry you to your instrument
you wonder what life would be like without band
you actually get instrument jokes
you get excited when people get new instruments
your doodles are of notes and clefs
you call your friends by their chair, not by name
you wonder how songs would sound if your band played them
you've perfected the art of playing with gum/candy in your mouth
you order your clarinet marching gloves 'pre-cut'
you no longer think the clarinets' gloves make them look like hobos
you'd rather have root canal than miss practice
you've cut out every single article that featured your band in it
you can't wait until the band banquet
you've figured out the exact colors of your band uniform
you've ever started a sentence with "This one time at band camp..."
your band director is really always right
you decide that you want to learn every single band instrument before you graduate
you like being in places with egoistical trumpet players
you and your section-mates spend your time making fun of your section leader
you and your other band friends mock other section's leaders
you start to spell Band with a capital B
you no longer think it's weird to be refered to as a number on a drill sheet
people have commented on how much you look like your instrument
you have almost no friends that aren't in band because everyone else thinks you're too weird
you're the webmaster of your band's website
your love interests all play an instrument
you can play more than one instrument well
you understand more Italian than English
you've devoted pages to band on your website
marching season is over, and you miss getting up at dawn on Saturdays
your car has been refered to as the 'band mobile'
the biggest accomplishment of your day was you and a group of friends walking in step in a straight line
your room is covered with posters of professional musicians, famous bands, and pictures and articles of your band
all of your conversations eventually get around to the subject of band
your e-mail address/screen name has your instrument in it
your password is your instrument plus your number on the drill sheet
you know the number of everyone's uniform and hat
you think it's funny to hide someone's music
you think it's funny to write on a trumpet with dry-erase markers
your marching band has sleepovers during band camp
you have to explain to the freshman about each and every member of the band
you can finish other band members' sentences
your band director, drum majors, section leader, band captains, and drill instructors are all on your speed dial
you're mad because your phone isn't big enough to hold all of the band members' phone numbers (that's okay, you've already memorized them all)
all of your rides home are from people in band
you can really relate to Michelle from 'American Pie'
you actually know who Michelle is
you wish you could go to band camp all summer
you make a shopping list and the only things on it are reeds, mouthpieces, valve oil, swab cloths, cork grease, and other instrument 'accessories'
you get upset when your band director says that marching the show onstage during the intermission of the school musical is a bad idea
you refer to intermissions at plays/musicals/operas as 'half-time' and have the irrestible urge to march your show
you know where to get things for odd instruments like the oboe, bassoon, or english horn
your favorite thing to do is read instrument jokes
you send funny music pages to all of the musicians you know
you have a theory about each section of the band
you actually understood why people got their awards at the band banquet
you've ever parodied someone in your band by making up a song/character/slogan about them
your pets are name after composers, types of music, dynamics, or musical accents
you think it's cute to teach your dog to bark the school fight song while your band plays it
you dream about marching
all you can think about is getting a new instrument
you're excited to switch instruments over the summer
you think it would be really cool to become your state's only marching bassoon
you think of ways to get the oboe and bassoon into the pit
you try to convince your band director to buy an electric marimba because it gives you a cool shock when you put your hand on it while holding a flute *
on a flute and clarinet duet, you don't need microphones to be heard
you think it's kind of cool that brass players have that thing on their lips from playing for so long
you wear pins that have things like "Kiss my brass," "Baby got Bach," "I have sax appeal" or anything with your instrument on them
you live to march in the rain
you've figured out - in days, hours, minutes, and seconds - how much time you've spent at school for band
after dating people in your section, it begins to feel a little like incest
you and the other girls in band have 6 patented ways for wearing your hair under your band hat
you string a punch of plumes together to make a feather boa
you've ever invented a musical term that your band actually uses
your band cubby has more of your school books in it than your regular locker
you get a piece of music to memorize for marching band and it takes you 15 minutes to memorize it
you've learned several instruments over the summer because you can relate all of their fingerings to your first instrument
you no longer think that the oboe and bassoon are weird instruments and wonder why all the freshmen flock to see them when taken out of their case and played *
you'll be damned if you break your wrist and sit in the pit instead of marching in the show
you can describe everyone in band using the names of dynamics/accents
no one thinks its strange that you can play music backwards
you petition to have the name of the football field changed to the 'Marching Field'
you still think it's cool to talk about your marching shows from freshman year at your 25 year high school reunion
you decide to become a professional drill instructor because you love marching so much
your 'potty dance' is you marking time when you have to pee
standing in line anywhere, you start conducting and humming music
you're sad when your instrument goes to the shop and you send it get well cards and flowers
you own scrunchies, socks, shorts, or any other piece of clothing with your instrument on it
you get psyched when you see the Boston Pops, Berlin Philharmonic, Vienna Philharmonic, or the Canadian Brass on tv
you've seen a live drum corps show
you've bottled your own 'band cola'
you can transpose music in your head faster than you can spell your own name
you know which stands in your band room wobble, and can avoid getting them
you have your own special chair in the band room
you know the e-mail address of everyone in marching band
you invite the marching band to a 'band camp party' before band camp starts
you wish you could go away to a real band camp and not just practice at your school
you're jealous that your band's rival has lights on their football field
you remember everything that has ever happened at a marching competition
you think the school's trophy case should be filled with band trophies
your band director starts to act more like your older brother than your teacher
you've sworn in front of your band director and he doesn't care
you like hanging out with your band director
you've ever ridden in your band director's car
you wear your marching pants to school and claim that the "fireman's suspender" look is the new thing for this fall (and every one thereafter)
you wear your marching shoes to a concert and claim they are your only pair of nice shoes
you notice small things about the other band members (like how one clarinet has the straightest teeth you've ever seen and she's never had braces)
you know the names of all of the members in you rival's marching band
people worry when you can go out to the movies with them on Saturday night
you can't fall asleep unless you have a clarinet case as a pillow
you hum band songs to get to sleep
you know band camp is coming near because you remember it's distinctive 'smell'
you were so psyched when you found out that you can get a letter in band
you can't wait until you get your band jacket and start putting pins and patches all over it
you get mad when the freshman clarinets don't know the fingerings to Eb4, F4, F#4, and G4 when you play Semper Fidelis
you don't need a tuner to fix your pitch
you list your band director as a reference on applications for jobs
your e-mail address is [your instrument and chair @your band's name.com]
all the woodwinds know how to make flavored reeds
the brass players and drummers can all whittle reeds
you own at least 3 band shirts
you're not even a trumpet player and you know what a 5C is
you can tune any instrument, even if you don't play it
your favorite thing to do on weekends is stay up late to simulate that 'been in competition then ridden on a bus for 3 hours' feeling
you wish SNL would make a marching band skit
you've sent SNL ideas for a band skit
you know all the parts of your marching show
it's easier for you to recite band jokes than to tell time
you never wear make-up, nail polish, or jewelery, becuse you know you'd just have to take it off before you march
you windex your marching shoes to make them more shiny
you only wear pants with stripes down the side
your wardrobe only consists of pants and shirts that are your school's colors
you don't want to change out of your band uniform after you perform at a competition
you wear your marching jacket as a coat in the winter
you drum the cadence in the middle of class and you're a woodwind player
you're not sure of the names of your relatives, but you can name everyone in band and what instrument they play
you feel comfortable going to practice in pajamas
you know all of the songs in your band's library
you're always in a good mood when band is your first class of the day
you classify everyone in band into differnet cliques
you can't even think about liking someone unless they have that reed or brass mouthpiece smell on their breath
you use valve oil as perfume/cologne
you're on a first-name basis with the owner of the local music store
you know all of the arrangers of all of your band songs
you'd be happy to tutor some kids on your instrument, but you just don't have time
you don't have time to do anything but be at band
you have to explain to non-band people why you're reaching down your marching pants
you're jealous that TRL has official cheerleaders, but doesn't have an official marching band
you no longer feel comfortable unless you are standing a) in blistering heat or b) in the freezing cold and getting yelled at
you watch videos of your marching show, you know which people you are watching
you remember comments from the marching judges
when your drill instructor changes the show, you have 50 ideas that are better than his
you refer either to the marching field or band room as home

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

I'm the official tuner for my band.

Because I'm first chair clarinet.

and my band director depends on me.

xD

 

[BandGeek911]

I'm the official tuner for my band.

Because I'm first chair clarinet.

and my band director depends on me.

xD

XD

I'm the reason my band needs a tuner XD

Ah first chair clarinet! Congrats!

We can be first chair buddies!

 

[Captain Brain]

I'm guilty of some of those, Mel.

 

[BandGeek911]

I'm guilty of some of those, Mel.

Ha same! I'm guily of a lot actually.... lol

 

[Captain Brain]

I really want a pin that says I have Sax appeal.

 

[BandGeek911]

A long list of signs of when you know you've been in band too long

instead of writing 'and' you write 'band'
you have inside jokes with every member of the marching band
your Napster library is filled with songs you've played
not just your drum line, but your whole band can crab step together
you walk in step with the people around you
you like wearing your uniform
you consider sheet music an acessory
you keep track of how long you practice
people worry when they see you without sonething band related
you start responding to 'band dork'
people start to see a resemblence between you and your band director
you tell people to dress the lunch line
your mouthpiece tastes good
you walk to class and think: "Am I walking in half or full steps?"
you hang out in the band room before, during, and after school
you eat lunch with other people from band
you don't try and hide the fact that you're in band
you daydream about sets for next year's show
you wear band shirts to school
your entire schedule revolves around band
you social life involves memorizing music
you skip other classes to be in band
instead of sneakers, you wear your marching shoes to school
you have a band-related nickname
you can think of an anticdote for everyone in marching band
you pay more attention to your instrument than your pets
you actually know how to fix your embouchure
you've made a band documentary [Im going to soon XD]
the best day of the year is Freshman Initiation
you've ever had anything shipped to the band room care of your band director
your section has a symbol
you practice with writing implements in public
you notice all the changes in other bands' shows
letters past G aren't important
you can only count in multiples of 4
you start to miss marching in the cold when band season is over
you start to refer to football season as either 'band season' or 'marching season'
you like changing clothes on a bus
you make mix tapes for your friends with this year's band songs
you can hum, play, and sing your parts
you think marching in the rain is fun
your band has its own cheers/songs
you search the internet on ways to march better
you go trick-or-treating in your uniform
you can play your whole show even after chugging a whole bottle of cough syrup
you could care less if someone beats you up, but they lay a finger on your instrument and you're ready to kick some ***
you've learned to whittle your own reeds
you've asked someone to marry you to your instrument
you wonder what life would be like without band
you actually get instrument jokes
you get excited when people get new instruments
your doodles are of notes and clefs
you call your friends by their chair, not by name
you wonder how songs would sound if your band played them
you've perfected the art of playing with gum/candy in your mouth
you order your clarinet marching gloves 'pre-cut'
you no longer think the clarinets' gloves make them look like hobos
you'd rather have root canal than miss practice
you've cut out every single article that featured your band in it
you can't wait until the band banquet
you've figured out the exact colors of your band uniform
you've ever started a sentence with "This one time at band camp..."
your band director is really always right
you decide that you want to learn every single band instrument before you graduate
you like being in places with egoistical ? lol trumpet players
you and your section-mates spend your time making fun of your section leader
you and your other band friends mock other section's leaders
you start to spell Band with a capital B
you no longer think it's weird to be refered to as a number on a drill sheet
people have commented on how much you look like your instrument
you have almost no friends that aren't in band because everyone else thinks you're too weird
you're the webmaster of your band's website
your love interests all play an instrument
you can play more than one instrument well
you understand more Italian than English
you've devoted pages to band on your website
marching season is over, and you miss getting up at dawn on Saturdays
your car has been refered to as the 'band mobile'
the biggest accomplishment of your day was you and a group of friends walking in step in a straight line
your room is covered with posters of professional musicians, famous bands, and pictures and articles of your band
all of your conversations eventually get around to the subject of band
your e-mail address/screen name has your instrument in it
your password is your instrument plus your number on the drill sheet
you know the number of everyone's uniform and hat
you think it's funny to hide someone's music
you think it's funny to write on a trumpet with dry-erase markers
your marching band has sleepovers during band camp
you have to explain to the freshman about each and every member of the band
you can finish other band members' sentences
your band director, drum majors, section leader, band captains, and drill instructors are all on your speed dial
you're mad because your phone isn't big enough to hold all of the band members' phone numbers (that's okay, you've already memorized them all)
all of your rides home are from people in band
you can really relate to Michelle from 'American Pie'
you actually know who Michelle is
you wish you could go to band camp all summer
you make a shopping list and the only things on it are reeds, mouthpieces, valve oil, swab cloths, cork grease, and other instrument 'accessories'
you get upset when your band director says that marching the show onstage during the intermission of the school musical is a bad idea
you refer to intermissions at plays/musicals/operas as 'half-time' and have the irrestible urge to march your show
you know where to get things for odd instruments like the oboe, bassoon, or english horn
your favorite thing to do is read instrument jokes
you send funny music pages to all of the musicians you know
you have a theory about each section of the band
you actually understood why people got their awards at the band banquet
you've ever parodied someone in your band by making up a song/character/slogan about them
your pets are name after composers, types of music, dynamics, or musical accents
you think it's cute to teach your dog to bark the school fight song while your band plays it
you dream about marching
all you can think about is getting a new instrument
you're excited to switch instruments over the summer
you think it would be really cool to become your state's only marching bassoon
you think of ways to get the oboe and bassoon into the pit
you try to convince your band director to buy an electric marimba because it gives you a cool shock when you put your hand on it while holding a flute *
on a flute and clarinet duet, you don't need microphones to be heard
you think it's kind of cool that brass players have that thing on their lips from playing for so long
you wear pins that have things like "Kiss my brass," "Baby got Bach," "I have sax appeal" or anything with your instrument on them
you live to march in the rain
you've figured out - in days, hours, minutes, and seconds - how much time you've spent at school for band
after dating people in your section, it begins to feel a little like incest
you and the other girls in band have 6 patented ways for wearing your hair under your band hat
you string a punch of plumes together to make a feather boa
you've ever invented a musical term that your band actually uses
your band cubby has more of your school books in it than your regular locker
you get a piece of music to memorize for marching band and it takes you 15 minutes to memorize it
you've learned several instruments over the summer because you can relate all of their fingerings to your first instrument
you no longer think that the oboe and bassoon are weird instruments and wonder why all the freshmen flock to see them when taken out of their case and played *
you'll be damned if you break your wrist and sit in the pit instead of marching in the show
you can describe everyone in band using the names of dynamics/accents
no one thinks its strange that you can play music backwards
you petition to have the name of the football field changed to the 'Marching Field'
you still think it's cool to talk about your marching shows from freshman year at your 25 year high school reunion
you decide to become a professional drill instructor because you love marching so much
your 'potty dance' is you marking time when you have to pee
standing in line anywhere, you start conducting and humming music
you're sad when your instrument goes to the shop and you send it get well cards and flowers
you own scrunchies, socks, shorts, or any other piece of clothing with your instrument on it
you get psyched when you see the Boston Pops, Berlin Philharmonic, Vienna Philharmonic, or the Canadian Brass on tv
you've seen a live drum corps show
you've bottled your own 'band cola'
you can transpose music in your head faster than you can spell your own name
you know which stands in your band room wobble, and can avoid getting them
you have your own special chair in the band room
you know the e-mail address of everyone in marching band
you invite the marching band to a 'band camp party' before band camp starts
you wish you could go away to a real band camp and not just practice at your school
you're jealous that your band's rival has lights on their football field
you remember everything that has ever happened at a marching competition
you think the school's trophy case should be filled with band trophies
your band director starts to act more like your older brother than your teacher
you've sworn in front of your band director and he doesn't care
you like hanging out with your band director
you've ever ridden in your band director's car
you wear your marching pants to school and claim that the "fireman's suspender" look is the new thing for this fall (and every one thereafter)
you wear your marching shoes to a concert and claim they are your only pair of nice shoes
you notice small things about the other band members (like how one clarinet has the straightest teeth you've ever seen and she's never had braces)
you know the names of all of the members in you rival's marching band
people worry when you can go out to the movies with them on Saturday night
you can't fall asleep unless you have a clarinet case as a pillow
you hum band songs to get to sleep
you know band camp is coming near because you remember it's distinctive 'smell'
you were so psyched when you found out that you can get a letter in band
you can't wait until you get your band jacket and start putting pins and patches all over it
you get mad when the freshman clarinets don't know the fingerings to Eb4, F4, F#4, and G4 when you play Semper Fidelis
you don't need a tuner to fix your pitch
you list your band director as a reference on applications for jobs
your e-mail address is [your instrument and chair @your band's name.com]
all the woodwinds know how to make flavored reeds
the brass players and drummers can all whittle reeds
you own at least 3 band shirts
you're not even a trumpet player and you know what a 5C is
you can tune any instrument, even if you don't play it
your favorite thing to do on weekends is stay up late to simulate that 'been in competition then ridden on a bus for 3 hours' feeling
you wish SNL would make a marching band skit
you've sent SNL ideas for a band skit
you know all the parts of your marching show
it's easier for you to recite band jokes than to tell time
you never wear make-up, nail polish, or jewelery, becuse you know you'd just have to take it off before you march
you windex your marching shoes to make them more shiny
you only wear pants with stripes down the side
your wardrobe only consists of pants and shirts that are your school's colors
you don't want to change out of your band uniform after you perform at a competition
you wear your marching jacket as a coat in the winter
you drum the cadence in the middle of class and you're a woodwind player
you're not sure of the names of your relatives, but you can name everyone in band and what instrument they play
you feel comfortable going to practice in pajamas
you know all of the songs in your band's library
you're always in a good mood when band is your first class of the day
you classify everyone in band into differnet cliques
you can't even think about liking someone unless they have that reed or brass mouthpiece smell on their breath
you use valve oil as perfume/cologne
you're on a first-name basis with the owner of the local music store
you know all of the arrangers of all of your band songs
you'd be happy to tutor some kids on your instrument, but you just don't have time
you don't have time to do anything but be at band
you have to explain to non-band people why you're reaching down your marching pants
you're jealous that TRL has official cheerleaders, but doesn't have an official marching band
you no longer feel comfortable unless you are standing a) in blistering heat or b) in the freezing cold and getting yelled at
you watch videos of your marching show, you know which people you are watching
you remember comments from the marching judges
when your drill instructor changes the show, you have 50 ideas that are better than his
you refer either to the marching field or band room as home