Bagged Lunches

[Magic Mom]

How about writing him a note to put in the bag instead. Something like..."Good luck on your test today!" ...."I'm cooking your favorite dinner tonight. Love, Mom!"....."Have a great day!" That way it's just between you and him, not the whole sophmore class.

 

[Hannathy]

Yes he is a young man. He is also her son and I think she probably knows him just a tad bit better than you do.


This maybe just one of those cute little things that creates a little joke between mom and son and gives him a laugh at lunch everyday.

He MAY have a bit more confidence than he is being given credit for and just lets stuff roll off his back.

And, you know, there may be a couple of kids that said "wow! I wish MY mom would make MY lunch" and so now even though he says its embarrassing, in secret he is also just a bit proud that HIS mom does this for him.

In case you haven't noticed you and the OP are the only ones who think this is in any way shape or form acceptable and/or cute.

 

[wvjules]

I can't believe we can't say the name of the guy who starred in Mary Poppins, but we can say that.[/QU Which word are you talking about?

Stick? lol


Mom, he's not a baby anymore. STOP drawing on his lunch bags and find a new hobby.

 

[melissapealo]

I make my DS a lunch to take to school most days. He decided this year that a lunch box (soft sided one like an adult would take to work) was too much work for him to bring home. So, we're using brown bags.

So, my creative Mommy gene comes out, and I started drawing something under his name each day to denote the season. Now, I'm not much of an artist, but I can draw simple things. Plus, inside his bag, his sandwiches have been in themed baggies. I find those at The Christmas Tree Shop.

He'll be 16 next month and he comes home all the time telling me how embarassing it is when his friends see his lunch bags. Never once has he asked me to stop, though.

I think he likes the attention, but he also likes that his friends know that his mother makes his lunch for him and that I think enough of him to try to make it special.

Today's bag had kisses drawn on it. His name was written in blue. The kisses were pink.

I think this is over the top for any mother to do. I wouldn't even consider doing this to either of my sons who are 17 and 10. By telling you it's embarrassing you should realize it's time to stop and let him be a teenage boy, not a little child. I notice you put when they see his lunch bags. I'm sure he tries his best to hide them and probably takes everything out in his locker to avoid anyone seeing them. You may think that your doing this out of love, but it's time to realize this is a young adult your talking about and not a 5 year old child. He doesn't find it cute, and that should be enough of a reason for it to stop. Why would any mother want to embarrass their child?????

 

[luvsJack]

In case you haven't noticed you and the OP are the only ones who think this is in any way shape or form acceptable and/or cute.

Actually its me, the OP and Magpie; but I didn't realize it was a contest.

I don't usually base what I do or what my opinion are by what others think. Especially when those "others' do not personally know those involved.

IF it is acceptable is between the OP and her son. All she has to do is ask the boy.

 

[Magpie]

In case you haven't noticed you and the OP are the only ones who think this is in any way shape or form acceptable and/or cute.

They aren't the only ones.

Clearly other people wouldn't like *their* moms doing it for them. But the OP presumably knows her son better than the rest of us.

I DO think asking him right out if he minds might be a good idea, if the reaction here has her wondering. And if he says, "I don't mind!" or anything else like that, then I think she can continue having fun with this.

I don't think there's anything fundamentally "unacceptable" about what she's doing. I mean really - if the boy says, "Go ahead mom, knock your socks off," would it still be wrong? And what if he says, "Actually, I kind of like them,"? Would that be a "way, shape or form" in which it would be acceptable?

 

[melissapealo]

They aren't the only ones.

Clearly other people wouldn't like *their* moms doing it for them. But the OP presumably knows her son better than the rest of us.

I DO think asking him right out if he minds might be a good idea, if the reaction here has her wondering. And if he says, "I don't mind!" or anything else like that, then I think she can continue having fun with this.

I don't think there's anything fundamentally "unacceptable" about what she's doing. I mean really - if the boy says, "Go ahead mom, knock your socks off," would it still be wrong? And what if he says, "Actually, I kind of like them,"? Would that be a "way, shape or form" in which it would be acceptable?

What happens when he says it's ok mom, only to make her happy. My son would do this in order to not hurt feelings. If he's saying it's embarrassing then thats enough of a sign to end the bag designs and realize he's 16 not 5.

 

[Magpie]

What happens when he says it's ok mom, only to make her happy. My son would do this in order to not hurt feelings. If he's saying it's embarrassing then thats enough of a sign to end the bag designs and realize he's 16 not 5.

I think it's presumptuous to assume that he can't answer for himself, or that his mom doesn't know him. Or even that what would be horribly embarrassing for you or your son, is the same for him.

Different strokes for different folks. He's 16. He's not helpless.

I once knitted a horrible scarf for my husband. He claimed to be embarrassed to wear it to work (he's high level gov't) - and yet he DID wear it. And people would look at him and say, "Your wife knitted that, didn't she?" I told him he didn't have to wear it and yet he still throws it on in the morning. Even though it embarrasses him. Funny how that works.

 

[Liberty Belle]

You said you think he still enjoys it, but I was wondering if him telling you he was embarrassed was a clue that he wishes you'd stop, but didn't want to hurt your feelings? Or maybe not.

I send a brown bad lunch with my 8 year old and I write a funny riddle on it everyday. He's home with me today, but yesterday's was "Why couldn't the sailors play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck." He says he always reads them to his friends at lunch.

 

[Tinkh]

I feel so bad for him He is probably an incredibly sweet kid who will not tell you how bad he wants it to stop no matter what. I have a 16-year old. He is very sweet and would try to not hurt my feelings, but I would NOT do this to him. Do you know how cruel children can be??? What kind of comments he will probably endure because you are sticking kissing marks on his bag. I am sure you have the best of intentions, but I think you are being insensitive to even think of doing this.

 

[melissapealo]

I think it's presumptuous to assume that he can't answer for himself, or that his mom doesn't know him. Or even that what would be horribly embarrassing for you or your son, is the same for him.

Different strokes for different folks. He's 16. He's not helpless.

I once knitted a horrible scarf for my husband. He claimed to be embarrassed to wear it to work (he's high level gov't) - and yet he DID wear it. And people would look at him and say, "Your wife knitted that, didn't she?" I told him he didn't have to wear it and yet he still throws it on in the morning. Even though it embarrasses him. Funny how that works.

I never said that he couldn't answer for himself. Did you even consider that he may answer the way she wants so he doesn't hurt her feelings? It's obviously something she enjoys, but he has stated that it's embarrassing.

Your husband wearing the scarf is in a totally different category than a 16 year old boy. Many husbands and wifes wear things that their other half has made because to them it is special. That's something that comes with age and becoming a spouse and parent. How many times has a parent said something is wonderful to a child knowing that it's only wonderful because their child made it? Just because as adults we do this doesn't mean that a child should have to. Children are cruel, especially teenagers and I think if he's telling her that it's embarrassing then she should respect that and stop. Pink kisses??? Don't you think that's a little over the top for a 16 year old, especially a boy?

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Maybe I. is just trying to be nice and not hurt your feelings?

He probably knows he was already in enough trouble with that "money" incident before and then I am sure he knows your heart is heavy about your sister too?

Maybe ask him for an acceptable alternative, like just a brown bag and maybe a caring text from you?

He knows he is blessed with such a good mom for sure. I guess he is just spreading his 16 year old wings.

 

[melissapealo]

Maybe I. is just trying to be nice and not hurt your feelings?

He probably knows he was already in enough trouble with that "money" incident before and then I am sure he knows your heart is heavy about your sister too?

Maybe ask him for an acceptable alternative, like just a brown bag and maybe a caring text from you?

He knows he is blessed with such a good mom for sure. I guess he is just spreading his 16 year old wings.

It sounds like you know this family. It appears that he doesn't like this since she stated he comes home all the time telling her it's embarrassing. How about a note in the bag? That way it's still something special yet doesn't draw the attention of the other students.

 

[Scurvy]

My fourteen year old son is home today thanks to the snow and so I read him the original post. He looked fairly horrified and said kids at his school would be teased to death if they showed up with a lunch bag like that. I asked if he would mind if I sent something like that and he said he wouldn't want me to, but when I asked if he would ask me to stop he said he didn't know; he wouldn't want to hurt my feelings.

OP, I couldn't tell from your post if you were wondering if you should keep doing this since he said he was embarrassed, or if you were just sharing what you thought was a cute story. If you're considering stopping I have a suggestion for you. I put a dry erase board on my son's bedroom door to write reminders for him. On special occasions I draw things or write friendly messages. Today he woke up to "Snow Day!" written over a snowman. On days when a video game he's looking forward to comes out I draw a character from the game and a reminder that the game releases that day. It lets me be creative and is a fun way to communicate with him, but it's nothing that would embarrass him in front of his classmates. As a bonus, he often responds with messages or drawings of his own, which wouldn't happen with the lunch bag.

 

[MamaLema]

OP, I am not being judgemental, but I'm just curious.

You stated that he doesn't want an insulated reuseable lunch bag because it's too much trouble for him to put away. Is it really that hard for him to put his bag away? It takes 5 seconds, tops

 

[Frantasmic]

STOP the messages....


for a week.

If he asks about them, you can simply state you thought they were embarrassing him and you quit at his request, then you'll know they didn't really bother him.

If he doesn't mention it, you have your answer.


It seems you could compromise and come up with a code illustration or word that conveys your affection without him getting embarrassed.

Like sputnik. Nothing says love like a drawing of sputnik on your kid's lunch bag.

See aren't you all just all tingling and dopey feeling from seeing that!

 

[allison443]

STOP the messages....


for a week.

If he asks about them, you can simply state you thought they were embarrassing him and you quit at his request, then you'll know they didn't really bother him.

If he doesn't mention it, you have your answer.


.

Or, you know, she could just simply ask her son straight out if he would prefer he to stop.

 

[Magpie]

Pink kisses??? Don't you think that's a little over the top for a 16 year old, especially a boy?

So it would be okay if it was a 17yo girl? Is this the real fear - that she's somehow making a sissy out of her son?

Maybe it's just because my kids hang out with the artsy alternative teens, I don't know. But I see a lot of diversity among the kids, and a lot of acceptance, and usually a better sense of humour than most adults.

 

[jeepgirl30]

I send a brown bad lunch with my 8 year old and I write a funny riddle on it everyday. He's home with me today, but yesterday's was "Why couldn't the sailors play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck." He says he always reads them to his friends at lunch.

Oh i like this!!! First, your son is 8 (same as mine!) and you are sending jokes not pink kisses. I can see my son and his buddies really getting a kick out of the jokes.

 

[Magpie]

Or, you know, she could just simply ask her son straight out if he would prefer he to stop.

But don't you know, if she asks him, the kid will lie so as not to hurt her feelings. Teenagers are always being considerate like that.

Heck, I think the boy could beg her to continue, and some people would STILL disapprove.

(Actually, I think asking him straight out is a great idea. I'd love to know what he says!)