BAD/ABSENT Wedding Reception Food

[Pooh_Friend#1]

That is so interesting to hear people's opinions about cash bars!!! Every wedding I have attended has cash bars....I wonder if it is just a CO thing?

 

[SamRoc]

The worst one we went to was catered by Blimpies! they really had those hero sandwiches and salad at the wedding. it was the worst wedding food ever.

 

[Uuaww]

At a wedding I was a groomsman for a couple who was fresh out of college had to decide between an open bar or dinner. The groom talked to us to take a vote, we of course all voted for the open bar. Sure enough on the invitations, it stated we started at 7: "dinner will not be served...but there will be an open bar; prepare accordingly." We all went to In and Out before the wedding. Best. Wedding. Ever.

 

[katerkat]

I do. I have a fully stocked liquor cabinet, and I think about the only thing I don't have right now is Jack Daniels and Goldschlagger because they were finished during our last party and I haven't gotten around to replacing them. I've got a selection of appertifs and cordials, as well as top shelf hard liquors with several brands of some of the types of spirits where I know people have an affinity for certain brands. (ie I have both Absolute and Stoly's vodka.)

Pretty well stocked here, too. Including stuff DH picks up overseas, which is cool stuff. Peru rum, Russian vodka, Spanish wine... Although after our last party, I need to restock the martini supplies...

Honestly, I've never been to a wedding with "bad" food. I've been to lunch/afternoon receptions with light meals or appetizers, and cake & punch receptions (but knew in advance), cash bars, regular bars, NO bars whatsoever... I'd say the only one that wasn't great was my SIL's - cold cuts and chips at a lunch-time reception, but it was catered by the groom's family, not her's, so I don't blame her for it.

 

[froglady]

I think she was just commenting on how funny it was to be eating frosted flakes in the kitchen while her guests where eating excellent reception food not making a comment on your post at all, but more telling a story of her wedding.

Sorry. I apologize, then.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Where I am from a cash bar = cheap. Again you pay for what you can afford. It is better to only serve pop and water than to have a cash bar.

Of the 60 plus weddings I have attended have only had a few cash bar types. Since alcohol can be a big cost - I think we paid $25 per person for top shelf open bar 10 years ago (for 220 people), if you cannot afford it, limit the choices.

Now will it ruin the reception for me? Nope, but I will think they are not observing proper etiquette.

Look at it this way - if I come to your house, I eat and drink what you have prepared. I have had great times at barbeques drinking water. But most likely you would never think to charge me if I wanted iced tea - would you?

 

[crz4mm2]

I agree with Lindsay, serve what is right for you. A mid-afternoon reception with appetizers is common. Most weddings I have been to run more along the line of the homemade food/cash bar (if a bar at all) type thing and I have no horror stories to share on this thread, thousands of dollars do not have to be spent to make a reception OK. My rule of thumb for mine was that if I thought someone might complain about our low-budget reception, that was someone who obviously was not worth sharing my wedding day with.

Best post I have read so far!!!!

 

[Aidensmom]

Look at it this way - if I come to your house, I eat and drink what you have prepared. I have had great times at barbeques drinking water. But most likely you would never think to charge me if I wanted iced tea - would you?

No, I wouldn't, but I also can't afford to supply you with your alcoholic beverage of choice, though I wouldn't mind if you brought it along. When we have had get togethers at our house, we have had some that are BYOB. I think this issue is not only regional, but also has something to do with the income levels of the people involved. In my circle, it would be considered moretacky to expect the bride and groom (and families) to spend more than they can afford to have a "proper" wedding than to have a cash bar. At my reception, my brand new DH happily went to the cash bar and bought his new wife a glass of Chardonnay.

 

[C.Ann]

Where I am from a cash bar = cheap. Again you pay for what you can afford. It is better to only serve pop and water than to have a cash bar.

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When guests are served free flowing wine, beer, soda, coffee, tea, punch, and a champagne fountain for the entire length of a 5-hour reception, I'd hardly call that "cheap"..

If that isn't enough choices for the guests, then I think the problem is "with" the guests.. LOL

 

[rie'smom]

In our area,there is no sit down meal. There's a great selection of seafood-boiled shrimp(peeled,of course), crab cakes,lobster,roasts,canapes,tons of yummy food. People just serve themselves, stand and eat as they would at a cocktail party. I had never heard of a cash bar at a wedding reception until I attended one in Boston. All I thought was 'different strokes for different folks'.

 

[crz4mm2]

I think you misunderstood my OP. This thread was inspired by a post about a meal-time reception at which the only food served was a small plate of apple slices and a small plate of Wheat Thins. Even the wedding party, which was expected to and did work the night before to set up and arrive early to prepare and take photos, was provided no food (altho the bride had a meal delivered for herself).

The intent was not to slam DIY or punch-and-cake receptions, but to share horror stories about people attending meal-time receptions with little or no or inedible food.

Sorry if you were upset.

No, I understood the OP.(thanks for the apology though) It was all the other remarks about the diy food etc that upset me BUT, I really don't care what other people think. As I said, they can stay home DS and his DF are on a budget and will do what they can afford. AND, it will be a (horrors) CASH BAR!!!!!

Most of the weddings around here are cake and punch receptions, regardless of the hour. It's only been in the past few years that people have started serving food of any kind.

It is interesting to see the different takes people have on things.

 

[pooksma]

Just throwing this out there...I did not personally attend this reception but MIL did and told me the people served KFC. I understand people do what they can but KFC??? Sandwiches would have been in better IMHO.

 

[KirstenB]

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Wow! Sounds like some serious drinking going on down there in your neck of the woods.. LOL

Somehow I think your house is the "exception to the rule" though..

Guess our family and many of our friends are exceptions to the rule too. My bar isn't as well-stocked as Anne's but I definitely keep the basic liquors, wine and beer as well as things like Kahlua. Same thing with non-alcoholic drinks, we try to keep a variety so our guests can have plenty to choose from.

 

[RadioNate]

I do. I have a fully stocked liquor cabinet, and I think about the only thing I don't have right now is Jack Daniels and Goldschlagger because they were finished during our last party and I haven't gotten around to replacing them. I've got a selection of appertifs and cordials, as well as top shelf hard liquors with several brands of some of the types of spirits where I know people have an affinity for certain brands. (ie I have both Absolute and Stoly's vodka.)

Anne

I do too. And I have the stuff to make most trendy drinks on hand...standards like margaritas, lemon drops, apple martinis, cosmos, mojitos...

I'm also from Chicago where cash bars are just not done...period. You have what you can afford, it doesn't have to be a full bar or even have any alcohol served but no one has a cash bar.

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

I attended a wedding for one of DBF's frat brothers (who I am also friends with) at the beginning of this month. It started at 11am, but DBF (who was told two days beforehand) was a groomsman so we were told to be there at 10:30am. We are from LI, it was in NJ, so with traffice we left my house at 9am. We get there on time, the groom is nowhere to be found. He only got there about 10 minutes to 11am. While waiting around for the groom to show up, me, DBF, and another groomsman went to the local supermarket for something to eat. Thank goodness we did that.

First off, there were no directions given to the reception place and about half the guests were from out of state. So we all followed the local guests to the place. It was at an Indian restaurant that was open for business that day. So we all walked by eating customers to the "back". (Neither DBF, I, or half the guests like Indian food) There was some chicken served for an appetizer. Then dinner was whatever was left of the appetizer, rice, and some bread with toppings. Thank goodness the cake was good, it helped to hold us over. We didn't eat until we got back to NY at about 7pm.

Oh but the best part was the ceremony. The bridesmaids and groomsmen (remember, they were only notified 2 days beforehand) had NO idea what was going on. One bridesmaid refused to walk down the aisle with anyone, so one groomsman walked by himself. The reverend's cell phone went off during his homily. He started off his homily talking about someone who jumped off a building. The priest asked "who gives this man to this man." Then he forgot to have the bride and groom kiss!! We'll just say that this wedding was very odd.

 

[Julia M]

Where I am from a cash bar = cheap. Again you pay for what you can afford. It is better to only serve pop and water than to have a cash bar.

Where we are from, if you have a reception at a hotel, you must either have a hosted bar or cash bar. No exceptions. Even if you offer champagne and have wine on the tables, you have to have a bar.

Because land is at such a premium here, it is also not uncommon to have a church that does not have a facility to host a reception. For example, my parish has a community center, but for dinner style seating, can maybe seat 125-150 people. It also does not allow liquor.

Where my cousins live, in the midwest, there are many facilities you can rent, and then you can use a caterer, or do it yourslef, and that can include liquor. Not around here. The only halls often have an assigned caterer, and liquor requirements.

Bottom line, you can host a budget styled wedding and have it not be tacky. Having punch and cake in a church hall? Fine, just make sure it's not a meal time reception, and make sure you have enough cake and punch for all of the guests.

Cater it yourself with family and freinds helping. Again, no problem. Just use common sense.

I don't think anyone here is saying that low budget = tacky. They are sharing stories where tacky = tacky.

I have attended weddings that range from punch and cake in a church hall, to family catered weddings, to picnics in the park, as well as very fancy, county club styled with hosted bars. They all were fun, just in different ways.

I did attend a wedding that brought tackiness to a new (and in my experience unheard of) level, that I have never seen matched again) On the RSVP card, there was not only a spot for the RSVP, but also how much it would cost, depending on your dinner cost, because the bride and groom couldn't afford a recpetion. Now that's TACKY.

Julia

 

[Poohnatic]

I am newly engaged (Christmas morning!!!) and am now terrified of planning my reception. I am not sure how much things cost for catering, but I feel like I will be ridiculed if I don't do a top notch dinner now. I didn't realize people had such strong feelings about what is to be served at the reception. I would like an afternoon wedding (about 1:00) and the reception to follow. I was planning on appetizers, but may need to rethink!!!

No, I don't think you'll be ridiculed. the time that you're planning your wedding is after a meal time. I'd even put on the RSVP's "Appetizer Reception following ceremony". I've received those, as well as "Cake and Punch to be served at the church after the ceremony" RSVPs. I don't mind those one bit-it sets the expectation. Having a wedding at 2 tells me to eat first.

The appetizer reception I went to, the ceremony was to start at 6, didn't start until 7:30 and the reception did not begin until 9 (they waited for the bride and groom to arrive). Had I known it was to be only appetizers, DH and I would have had a meal prior to arriving at the church.

 

[mefordis]

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Extremely elegant wedding receptions often consist of no more than champagne and wedding cake - so I'm sure yours was fine..

What? Who told you that?

 

[nhrenee]

My cousin got married a couple months ago and when my mom and aunt came home they were about in tears telling me about dinner. It was all homemade food. The groom's mom thinks she's a pastry chef, so she made the cake and apparently their names were written all over the cake pretty sloppily. People were trying to hide the cake under napkins after the first bad bite. On each table was a tub of Country Crock. I guess there was another reception next door and someone accidentally wandered in, eyes got huge from shock and they turned and ran out.

Oh, they would've been in hysteric at my wedding. My Italian in-laws made all the food. It was delicous!! We did have the cake made by a professional though.

ETA: We also had a cash bar at our reception but provided champagne for the toast. I guess in our (fairly rural) neck of the woods it wasn't given a second thought by the guests.

 

[lucyanna girl]

I posted this on a thread earlier this year about unusual weddings.

DH and I own a small trucking company. Some of the drivers who work for us are a little different in their ideas of what is proper and what is not than us.
Several years ago one of our then drivers meet a woman who worked at the Tiger Truck Stop, so named because of the live tiger they kept outside the building in a cage along side the interstate.
We were invited to attend and in fact my DH was asked to stand up with the happy couple.
Picture us, DH is a suit, me in a nice little black dress, DD in a beautiful little dress and Mary Janes. Groom, Bride, and most of the guests were not as dressed up.
After the ceremony the food was served, well actually everyone got a plate and ate at the Truck stop buffet along with all the other customers who just happened to be there.
There was beer, if you wanted to buy one.
I personally admired the tiger most of all, he just ignored the whole thing, including the wedding photographs he was featured in.

Interesting night.

Penny