Backfired!

[danetter]

ugggg I feel your pain! My MIL invited us last month to go to thier timeshare in celebration but I told her sorry we already had a trip booked(we try to not tell some people until its too late to join us) ! So then she says "oh when? We (her and my FIL) will go with you " (UMMMM who invited you?) so I reluctantly said "ummm ok" (thinking like most things its just an empty idea she was having) fast forward a few weeks later she cant book her timeshare that week (YAY) so she says "well maybe we will just stay where you guys are staying" so I look up the cost and its 2093 at POR with FD she is cheap so I figured she wouldnt do it but she shocks me and books it! and already she is complaining on how expensive it is costing how she doesnt want to do disney all day everyday. Going into it we told her we stay on property we dont leave once we are there we go from rope drop to the goodnight kiss we ride everything! She was warned!! She is a major complainer hates rides hates the heat hates walking alot and is cheap as they come! Disney is not the place for her! I can already hear the complaining "its too hot" "the food wasnt worth that much "(yes she would say this after seeing the price knowing she got free dining) "all I did was sit on a bench while everyone had fun riding rides" "I dont want to go to a park today I want to sit at the pool"(if we say ok we will meet up with you later she will later complain "I was all alone today at the pool") There is no winning! So I feel your pain! This trip was supposed to be for my bday but Im betting she ruins it! Sorry for the long vent!! I hope we both have a better trip than we are anticipating!!

I would switch resorts to a nicer resort and not tell her until the last minute or not at all and then tell her when you get there that you got a very nice upgrade

 

[sndral]

ugggg I feel your pain! My MIL invited us last month to go to thier timeshare in celebration but I told her sorry we already had a trip booked(we try to not tell some people until its too late to join us) ! So then she says "oh when? We (her and my FIL) will go with you " (UMMMM who invited you?) so I reluctantly said "ummm ok" (thinking like most things its just an empty idea she was having) fast forward a few weeks later she cant book her timeshare that week (YAY) so she says "well maybe we will just stay where you guys are staying" so I look up the cost and its 2093 at POR with FD she is cheap so I figured she wouldnt do it but she shocks me and books it! and already she is complaining on how expensive it is costing how she doesnt want to do disney all day everyday. Going into it we told her we stay on property we dont leave once we are there we go from rope drop to the goodnight kiss we ride everything! She was warned!! She is a major complainer hates rides hates the heat hates walking alot and is cheap as they come! Disney is not the place for her! I can already hear the complaining "its too hot" "the food wasnt worth that much "(yes she would say this after seeing the price knowing she got free dining) "all I did was sit on a bench while everyone had fun riding rides" "I dont want to go to a park today I want to sit at the pool"(if we say ok we will meet up with you later she will later complain "I was all alone today at the pool") There is no winning! So I feel your pain! This trip was supposed to be for my bday but Im betting she ruins it! Sorry for the long vent!! I hope we both have a better trip than we are anticipating!!

She'll only ruin it if you let her. As much as this trip was about celebrating your birthday when you booked it, your MIL has kidnapped it. For mixed age groups to travel happily together both sides must give a little or sometimes a lot. Does she shop? Send her to DTD via the boat for the Disney store. Doesn't like rides - send her to see a show w/ FIL, your DH or the GSs while the others ride a few rides or ask her to save curbspace for the parade or wishes, or put her in charge of snapping pix of your DSs to memorialize the trip or whatever. Can you and hubby @ least have MIL and FIL babysit 1 night and have a special dinner just for the two of you to have a mini bd celebration- Ca. Grill or Artists Pt or someplace like that?
I think the first time she complained about food prices I'd say isn't it great we're getting this for free? and I think I might take the direct approach when she complained and say - what would you like me/us to do to/change that to make you happier? Say that every time she complains and maybe she'd get the message or if she has no answer about how to fix it then say, it makes me unhappy to hear you complaining about something I can't fix for you. Good luck. Maybe pixie dust will be sprinkled on her and it won't be as bad as you fear.

 

[Nancyg56]

ugggg I feel your pain! My MIL invited us last month to go to thier timeshare in celebration but I told her sorry we already had a trip booked(we try to not tell some people until its too late to join us) ! So then she says "oh when? We (her and my FIL) will go with you " (UMMMM who invited you?) so I reluctantly said "ummm ok" (thinking like most things its just an empty idea she was having) fast forward a few weeks later she cant book her timeshare that week (YAY) so she says "well maybe we will just stay where you guys are staying" so I look up the cost and its 2093 at POR with FD she is cheap so I figured she wouldnt do it but she shocks me and books it! and already she is complaining on how expensive it is costing how she doesnt want to do disney all day everyday. Going into it we told her we stay on property we dont leave once we are there we go from rope drop to the goodnight kiss we ride everything! She was warned!! She is a major complainer hates rides hates the heat hates walking alot and is cheap as they come! Disney is not the place for her! I can already hear the complaining "its too hot" "the food wasnt worth that much "(yes she would say this after seeing the price knowing she got free dining) "all I did was sit on a bench while everyone had fun riding rides" "I dont want to go to a park today I want to sit at the pool"(if we say ok we will meet up with you later she will later complain "I was all alone today at the pool") There is no winning! So I feel your pain! This trip was supposed to be for my bday but Im betting she ruins it! Sorry for the long vent!! I hope we both have a better trip than we are anticipating!!

Poor you!

Tell them that it is great that they are going and you think they will enjoy staying at the timeshare. But if you are going you must have some family time at night and will be staying at the fort. Just say it as a matter of fact. "We will be staying at the Fort."

This is what I would do. I learned on our first trip back to WDW that it is best to stay firm on your resort plans.

I think the first time she complained about food prices I'd say isn't it great we're getting this for free? and I think I might take the direct approach when she complained and say - what would you like me/us to do to/change that to make you happier? Say that every time she complains and maybe she'd get the message or if she has no answer about how to fix it then say, it makes me unhappy to hear you complaining about something I can't fix for you. Good luck. Maybe pixie dust will be sprinkled on her and it won't be as bad as you fear.

Great idea!

On our first trip back in way too many years my SIS IL wanted to join us. Fine. We had already decided on out trip and DD was clear that she wanted to stay at AKL. We had agreed to that. SIS Il was a frequent Disney visitor and had her own idea how we should travel but did not know about the new AP rules. After several days of her disagreements with DD ending with her challenge that she would just stay with family in Orlando I stepped in and told her that I thought that would be best and we could meet in the parks when she was there. She was flabbergasted.

I had to tell her that while my family was glad to have her join us my DH had not vacationed in 11 years, my DSIL had only been to MK once in his life and that was for 1 day and that my DD and I had already researched the resorts that worked best for the 5 of us. We had already decided on the DDP (which was awesome back then) and that there was no way on our first trip we were staying off site in order to be able to accommodate anyone on this trip. I was pretty upset that she was challenging DD when she had invited herself.

OP- stick to your instincts and get your own place onsite. Tell the family you will all have plenty of time to meet up.

 

[Missytara]

I planned a whole vacation for my MIL, SIL, myself, my DD, and my niece and nephew.

We are staying in two separate rooms at POR.

We have already discussed the fact that we don't ALL have to be together at all times...they have agreed. I'm hoping thatwe don't have to deal with somebody wanting to stay at the pool...and then complain about because they are alone. I go to the parks alone!

Ditto. I was going just with my next door neighbors, a young couple, last year. We snagged free dining and it allowed another couple and their two children to go.

We all had a blast, but we set ground rules from the beginning. They knew I was going to need some downtime; I am in my early 50's; they were in their mid-to-late twenties.

I left them at the parks right after we had dinner each night and went back to the lounge at POR. They left later and went directly to the pool each evening for a bit before retiring with the kids.

I babysat one evening so they could go to the EMH's one evening at MK.

It all worked wonderfully and we had a great time, but you have to go in it with a few ground rules.

 

[*Fantasia*]

I would switch resorts to a nicer resort and not tell her until the last minute or not at all and then tell her when you get there that you got a very nice upgrade

The OP is staying off property at a timeshare near Sea World.. and the OP is going to get a very nice upgrade to an on-site property?! I like that excuse! Their in laws would probably wonder "how is that?"
I would tell them.. because you are a good friend with the Mouse!

 

[cm8]

The OP is staying off property at a timeshare near Sea World.. and the OP is going to get a very nice upgrade to an on-site property?! I like that excuse! Their in laws would probably wonder "how is that?"
I would tell them.. because you are a good friend with the Mouse!

 

[f.chadw]

Well, the wife seems to be on board with 2 days at the timeshare with her family and the rest of the time on site at whatever resort she so chooses.
Looks like this could be a win win for everyone.........at least in my immediate family. If the in laws don't like it, they are just going to have to deal with it. Thanks to all for the suggestions and the support.

 

[elyselynne]

OH my! Your trip is making me nervous! ha ha hope it isn't as bad as you trhink.

ugggg I feel your pain! My MIL invited us last month to go to thier timeshare in celebration but I told her sorry we already had a trip booked(we try to not tell some people until its too late to join us) ! So then she says "oh when? We (her and my FIL) will go with you " (UMMMM who invited you?) so I reluctantly said "ummm ok" (thinking like most things its just an empty idea she was having) fast forward a few weeks later she cant book her timeshare that week (YAY) so she says "well maybe we will just stay where you guys are staying" so I look up the cost and its 2093 at POR with FD she is cheap so I figured she wouldnt do it but she shocks me and books it! and already she is complaining on how expensive it is costing how she doesnt want to do disney all day everyday. Going into it we told her we stay on property we dont leave once we are there we go from rope drop to the goodnight kiss we ride everything! She was warned!! She is a major complainer hates rides hates the heat hates walking alot and is cheap as they come! Disney is not the place for her! I can already hear the complaining "its too hot" "the food wasnt worth that much "(yes she would say this after seeing the price knowing she got free dining) "all I did was sit on a bench while everyone had fun riding rides" "I dont want to go to a park today I want to sit at the pool"(if we say ok we will meet up with you later she will later complain "I was all alone today at the pool") There is no winning! So I feel your pain! This trip was supposed to be for my bday but Im betting she ruins it! Sorry for the long vent!! I hope we both have a better trip than we are anticipating!!

 

[ottawamom]

julluvsdisney. If you are already booked into the same resort and cannot change request a room as far away as possible. Just make sure you check in after the in-laws.

 

[Paradise18]

Trust me, stay in a different hotel. We went with my sis and her fam, and parents. We stayed on property, and had 3 rooms in a row. BIG mistake.......they were constantly pounding on our door wanting to visit (when we spent all day with them), and knocking on our door all morning asking if we were ready to go yet. It went on and on.....I said next time, seperate hotels!!!

I had the exact same experience. Never again. In fact we will only do 1 TS meal together when we go as a large group from now on.

 

[MinnesotaMouseketeers]

I would stay on-site at WDW and make sure we have some time to ourselves. Sanity is a good thing

 

[AshleeH]

Well, the wife seems to be on board with 2 days at the timeshare with her family and the rest of the time on site at whatever resort she so chooses.
Looks like this could be a win win for everyone.........at least in my immediate family. If the in laws don't like it, they are just going to have to deal with it. Thanks to all for the suggestions and the support.

Congrats! Sounds like it's going to work out for the best!

To the PPs who are dreading their upcoming trips with family, I'm with others who have said to set the ground rules!

Last year we went with my in-laws - they are great, so there wasn't a single issue or problem. They were only there for three days, so we tried to cater more to them (since we'd already done everything we wanted the first part of the week) and the trip was great!

This year we will be going with my parents. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and my dad and I could hang out all day, everyday, for weeks and not bother each other. However, my mom is a hypercritical (of everyone, not just me - she could encounter a total stranger and have an opinion about them before they spoke). I know what will happen - she'll insist that my kids are tired (when they aren't), hot (when they're not), ready to eat (when they are old enough to tell us all of this), and ready to go back to the hotel. She's a grandmother who thinks she's the mother and as her daughter, I know next to nothing (apparently).

We really want to go to Disney with them because her health is failing, but I told her flat-out that we will decide on what is best for our children and that will be that. I've explained that we have done Disney for the last two years at the same time and we know what works best for our family. Not that I'm under the assumption that this will settle all future criticisms - I'm sure I'll be reiterating it once, if not two or three times, after we get there. It helps that we're not staying together, we only have 1 ADR together (out of 7 - so that's guaranteed downtime), and I'm not sure if they are getting park hoppers, so that will give us a few half days free.

We are looking forward to the trip, but I am under no illusions that it will be as relaxing as the last two years. Or as perfect. It will, however, be as perfect as we make it.

 

[yankeepenny]

MY OPINION


when I look at the cost of going to Disney, and the fact that Sea world is NOT less than a 30 minute ride one way, and all that jazz....

my time is more valuable. I would stay onsite at disney.
if some want to stay on the other side of town i woudl let them.



sounds like it would not be much fun all together for that much time anyway.
and for NO amount of money do i stay with relatives, mine or his.

again, my opinion.

 

[danceintherain]

Well, the wife seems to be on board with 2 days at the timeshare with her family and the rest of the time on site at whatever resort she so chooses.
Looks like this could be a win win for everyone.........at least in my immediate family. If the in laws don't like it, they are just going to have to deal with it. Thanks to all for the suggestions and the support.

Good! I don't really understand the concept of a large group traveling together. It's hard enough to balance the interests of small groups. Every extended family vacation I've ever been up has been a huge issue, but right now we're trying to plan one for 2014, because I'm in Korea and my brother is in the Philippines. I'd much rather spend money on a hotel in a vacation destination than in my home town, and my parents didn't even have sufficient room for all of us before we were married with kids. Basically, the only way I'd agree to a group condo/house rental is if my husband and I could have our own room with a separate room for the kids. I think Orlando has a lot of selling points for this vacation, but I'm only thinking of everyone being locked into a few family gatherings.
During one terrible family vacation a few years, not only were we all expected to participate in EVERYTHING, but they didn't have any set plans. They got mad at me for not getting out of bed one morning for an obligatory breakfast I wasn't even aware of.

Anyway, laying ground rules is a good idea. There's a high possibility that we'll be moving to Hawaii in the next few months, and I've told people that the only way our family vacation can be at my house is if they all pay for my husband and I to stay in a hotel elsewhere (Aulani will be my preference) and they clean up afterwards. I don't mind having guests, but I'm not going to deal with 15 people sleeping on the floor just to save a few bucks. I plan on sending out an "advertisement" for our "guest quarters" with an occupancy limit of 4 people. I'd rather have people come in smaller groups anyway, because it's nearly impossible to spend any quality time with people, when they're all crammed in like sardines. I don't know how many of my family members will actually take advantage of my prime location, but I will be taking reservations in order to avoid overlap.

 

[cruising spud]

Now wait a minute-while everyone else is hitting on the negatives, let me throw in a positive or two.

And, I will be honest right up front-we do have some family members that we would never vacation with. We don't like them. It wouldn't work. However with that being said.....

Prelude-up until about five years ago, my family had NEVER vacationed with anyone in our family except for our own kids.


And, then somehow one of my sisters and I were talking and we agreed to hit Disney together.

Families:

mine: my husband and myself, our three daughters :at the time: 30,
26/boyfriend, and 15 years old.

sister and her husband, their daughter/19 and son/15

I was the "all things Disney" person, so I made the rules (which people agreed to and said they would follow):

#1-Everyone could stay where ever they wanted. People did not have to stay together at the same hotel.

#2-We were hitting the parks when they opened. Be on time. If you were late, fine, but let us know and we would go on without you and you could call once you got to the parks.

#3-In the morning, we were going to play follow the leader. The leader being me. Now, don't get me wrong, we didn't rush around like idiots, but no one else knew the parks like I did, and there were a lot of rides to get to. I knew which ones we should get to first.

#4-By noon-everyone split up and regroup with your own family. We had three subgroups. My sister and her family stayed at the Poly, my two older girls and the boyfriend stayed at a Fort Wilderness cabin and my husband, myself, and our youngest daughter had our rv. This was alone time, used for naps, relaxing, etc.

#5-Late afternoon, get back together for dinner and the parks.

#6-Have a day or two down time, for people to sleep in and relax.

This want so well, that next year we are talking about another Disney trip and another sister is going to join us.

My take-this can work if there are some groundrules.

Now, if you have family members who you know won't follow these rules-I say-don't go with them It's not worth the headache.